When the Catholic Church Made My Depression Worse: Why Pope Leo XIV’s Mental Health Message Matters

                 It is Mental Illness Awareness Week. The focus is on community knowledge and connecting research to real-world recovery. Those of us living with mental illness know how important both are to our recovery. Today, I read something that is connected to the role of community and mental illness. It came from a place that surprised me. The Catholic Church. Poe Leo XIV has dedicated his October prayer ministry to mental heath ministry. He called on the Catholic Church to “listen without judging and accompany those who suffer without excluding them.” In his message the Pope prays that “…the Church may be an ‘open house’ where people facing challenges to their mental health find welcome, dignity, and hope.” (Vatican News: Merio, Francesca, Pope’s October prayer intention: ‘For mental health ministry)

                  As someone who grew up Catholic in a time when the Catholic Church was not very accepting or understanding of mental illness, I am glad to see this. I experienced a lot of pain because of the Catholic Church’s teaching on mental illness when I was young. I remember the pain of being told suicide was a sin when I was struggling with suicidal thoughts. It made me feel like a bad person. It stole hope away from at a time when I really needed it. I remember being in Catholic high school and really struggling only to have a counselor who was from a Catholic charity organization tell me I had to stop thinking about suicide because it was wrong. She made me feel like I was at fault for my feelings. It drew me back to the teachings that suicide was a sin I had learned in religion classes.  Throughout high school I felt like I was at fault for my depression and suicidal thoughts. 

                  For years I had an up and down relationship with the Catholic Church. I hold a lot of anger inside of me for the way I was made to feel. It was wrong for me to have been blamed for what I was going through. I had an illness, but in those years, I was not allowed to know that. Instead, I was taught that it was a matter of good versus bad. So, to see the Catholic Church recognizing mental illness is welcomed, even if it is a bit late. 

                  I like that Pope Leo XIV wants the Church to be an “open house” for those of us with mental illness. We should be welcome into the Church. I remember seeing signs and hearing homilies about all being welcome in the Church, but I always felt I was not completely welcomed because my mental illness was seen as a bad thing. Now, under the pope’s leadership people with mental illness can walk through the doors of Church and feel safe with being open about what mental illness does to them. Pope Leo speaks about dignity and hope. That is exactly what we need. We need others to know that what we struggle with is an illness, not a fault. Perhaps, if that counselor years ago had treated me with dignity and provided me with hope, my life might have been different.

                  People with mental illness should be welcomed in all aspects of society. We have a lot to offer. Even though our mental illness makes life difficult for us, it does not limit the possibilities we hold. When we are treated with dignity and hope we can find healing. Churches should be welcoming to all. I still live with the hurt I experienced from the Catholic Church, but I can forgive. Pope Leo’s prayer intention and his efforts to give those of us living with mental illness hope is sign that the Church can grow.

 Luckily for me, I found other ways to find hope and dignity alongside my mental illness. The Church hurt me and many others, but being human means being able to forgive. I hope that the Church, and by that, I mean more than the institution. I mean the people of the Church from the priests and other religious to the people that worship in the Church. There needs to be real change. That change requires more than prayer. It requires action. All that I have seen from Pope Leo XIV gives me hope that he can lead the Church into action that is healing for people with mental illness and welcomes us into the Church. 

 

What Dolly Parton Taught Me About Kindness—and How It Can Help When Living with Depression

      On 9/25/26, most of the country celebrated 9 2 5 Day in honor of Dolly Parton. I grew up knowing Dolly Parton as a country singer. My dad had several of her albums. I especially remember a Christmas album featuring Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. He would play that over and over as he prepared the fish for our Italian American Christmas Eve family gathering.  Of course, I also remember watching the movie 9 to 5. 

So, my early memories of Dolly Parton are as a musician. In the last few years, I have learned more about Dolly the person. I have learned about all she has done to help others. There is her Imagination Library that places books in the hands of children promoting literacy. There are all her donations. The ones that have been mentioned since her passing in August are just a few of the donations she has made throughout her lifetime. As we listen to it all, there is an underlying theme, which I think Dolly herself would ask us to focus on, kindness. We all need to be kind.

Okay, this is a depression blog. Why am I talking about Dolly Parton? She did not suffer from depression. At least not that I know of. Her charitable work did not center on mental health. It is her mission to be kind to everyone that resonates with me at this moment. I find myself connecting it to depression. There are a couple ways kindness and depression are connected that jump out at me.

 

Being Kind to Our Minds: Challenging Negative Self-Talk

                  Often, when we live with depression, negativity takes over our lives. There is a darkness that settles over us. This darkness clouds how we feel about ourselves and how we see the world around us. We might have negative thoughts running through our minds. We might use self-talk that is defeating or hurtful. My experience is that once the negative thoughts about myself get going, it is difficult to stop them. 

What if by being kind to ourselves when we use self-talk, we could lift some of the depression? Kindness itself cannot make the negative thought patterns and the hurtful words we say to ourselves disappear. Turning a hurtful word into something kind might be able to give us a little boost. It might give us a moment of feeling better despite the darkness that floats around us. 

We can be kind to our minds by using phrases such as “I am trying my best”, “Things are hard right now, but I am doing the best I can,” or “Depression places a heavy weight on me. It is okay to go through bad times.” These phrases are an attempt to be kind. Being kind to ourselves might be giving a quick smile in the mirror. It could be engaging in an activity we enjoy or once enjoyed. Being kind to ourselves might be saying,”Today has been difficult. I am going to give myself a break.”    

We can also talk back to negative thinking. Maybe use a little sass, the way Dolly Parton sometimes acted. Comments to ourselves such as, “Hey, Depression, you are not in control. This is my mind. I get to determine how I feel.” We can turn being kind to our minds into whatever we need at the moment. There is a saying, “Kill them with kindness”. Maybe that is what we need to do to our minds when depression is in control.

 

Being Kind to Others: How Small Acts of Kindness Can Make a Difference

From the stories I have read or seen since she passed away, it is clear that Dolly believed in being kind to everyone. Dolly did little things and big things to let kindness grow around her. Just as it is important to be kind to ourselves, it is important to be kind to others.I know sounds like a cliche, but we should be kind to others because we never know what someone else is going through. Being kind can make a difference in the lives of others. 

I think about it this way. What if we encounter someone who is struggling with depression and maybe even contemplating taking their life? We are not going to know this about them just from being around them or maybe even from talking to them. How do we want to treat this person? Treating this person with kindness might make a difference in what they do next. 

Let me share from personal experience. There have been times when the depression I live with has been overwhelming. I have had suicidal thoughts. In these moments I usually withdraw into myself. At the same time these moments are lonely and isolating. What if someone took a moment to be kind to me? Could that change things? It might not erase the depression or even the suicidal thoughts, but it might interrupt those enough for me to get help. It might make me feel a little better about myself. 

 

A Little Kindness Can Go a Long Way

Approaching everyone as if we do not know what they are going through, can help others. It does not take much. A compliment. Holding a door open. Saying “hi”. Asking someone how they are. These are small examples of being kind. We can take being kind further. Maybe we bring cookies to a medical appointment. Maybe paying for the person behind you when you pick up your morning coffee. Giving a small, unexpected gift. Complimenting someone. These are all examples of how we can be kind to others. 

Most of us do not have the means to be kind on the level Dolly Parton was able to be kind. That is okay. The important thing is the act of kindness, not the size of the kindness. Can we each make an effort to do something kind every day? How much would that change our community? How much would that change us?

As someone living with depression, I know that when I am struggling, an act of kindness can lift my mood. I know I missed 9 2 5 Day, but I am hoping that by taking the time to share that kindness can help a person living with depression, maybe we can move toward more understanding of mental illness.