Often when depression or anxiety are bearing down on us, we lose the ability to ask for help. Something traps us in a void that excludes those who could help us. It is not that help is not there, it is that we lose sight of the fact that it is okay to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Read that again, asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
Asking for help is a means to access to the help we need. It is unreasonable to believe that we can fight depression and anxiety alone even though these illnesses tell us that we are on our own. Asking for help leads to access to the very help we need. One of the most important reasons that it is okay to ask for help and that we need to ask for help is that depression and anxiety are real health conditions. They require the intervention of health care professionals. Mental health care professionals need to provide intervention, but often we need to start with physical health care professionals if we have not received help or a diagnosis before.
How to Ask for Help When You're Struggling with Depression or Anxiety
Let’s back up a little. How do we ask for help? There are a few things we can do.
· Share what we are experiencing with a trusted loved one or friend – Let them know we are struggling and would like/need support.
· Reach out to a primary care provider – Often, our primary care provider is the one who can make initial mental health referrals. We can make an appointment to see our primary care provider. If we do not have one, we can go to an urgent care facility.
· Find a support group – We can join a support group with or without a diagnosis. Support groups can offer support in finding the right help to deal with what we are going through. NAMI has a peer led support group that can be helpful. Check it out here: NAMI Connection.
· Speak to a school counselor or reach out to an employee assistance program – These are often good first steps. If we are inclined, we could also reach out to a faith provider. All these have basic training in providing support and referring to the right mental health care provider.
What to Say When You Need Help for Depression or Anxiety
What if we do not have the words to ask for help? Here are some things we can say when we need help with depression or anxiety:
If we do not have a mental health diagnosis:
· I am struggling. I do not know how to put it in words, but I need help.
· I feel depressed and I do not know what to do.
· I feel very down. I need help making this feeling stop.
· I feel anxious and I do not know what to do.
· Life feels like it is too much right now. I need help.
· I want to hurt myself. I need help.
· I do not want to continue living. I need help.
· I need someone to talk to about the thoughts I am having.
If we have a mental health diagnosis:
· The depression is too much right now.
· The anxiety is overwhelming me.
· I feel like my medications are not enough right now.
· Treatment is not enough right now.
· I am struggling with depression.
· I am struggling with anxiety.
· I need an extra therapy session.
· Life feels like it is too much right now. I need help.
· I want to hurt myself. I need help.
· I do not want to continue living. I need help.
· I need someone to talk to about the thoughts I am having.
Notice that the last four are the same in each list. I did that because we can struggle with self-harm and suicidal ideation whether we have a diagnosis or not. In these moments it is especially important that we reach out for help. Asking for help in these moments is a sign of strength even it if we do not feel strong.
How to Prepare for a Mental Health Appointment
It helps to be prepared when you talk to a health care professional. Sometimes we are in so much need of help that all we can utter is “I need help.” It is okay. It is enough to just say that we need help. If we can prepare, here are a coup;e things we might want to have ready:
· A short description of what we are feeling. This helps because when we are in the moment of receiving help, we can lose the words to describe what we are going through.
· Any past issues with our mental health or experiences with a mental health care provider. This would include any diagnoses we have had.
What Happens When You Talk to a Mental Health Professional
It can be difficult to talk to someone about our mental health. We might be embarrassed, or we might feel like we do not need the help. Being embarrassed by our mental health is common. Society has stigmatized mental health. It is important to remember that the health care professional is there to help us not judge us. Also, remember that if it is affecting us, we do need help. We need to be open and share what we are experiencing with the provider. It might help to tell the provider that we are not sure how to put what we are feeling into words. The health care provider knows what to ask and how to talk to us. If we are experiencing self-harm or suicidal thoughts it is important that we tell them.
We might be asked to fill out a mental health questionnaire or screening tool. This helps the health care provider assess our needs and provide the right care. Fill it out honestly. If we are unsure about a question, we need to ask for an explanation.
Why Seeking Help Early Can Make a Difference
It is important to remember that early support can make a difference. If we are struggling, it is important to get support as soon as possible. If we address symptoms early on, we can prevent them from becoming more serious. This can prevent the symptoms from significantly interfering with our lives. This true even if we already have a diagnosis and are receiving treatment. Sometimes changes are necessary. It is important that we share our experiences as soon as possible so that treatment can be adjusted to help us.
Another thing that is important to remember is that we do not need to figure out everything on our own. Mental health professionals are out there for a reason. They are there to treat our mental health when we are struggling and to maintain our mental health when we are doing well. Depression and anxiety can make it difficult to function. Anything from problem-solving to decision-making to coping can be hard when we are struggling with our mental health. That is why it is necessary for us to ask for help. When we talk with a mental health provider, we can receive assistance with problem-solving and decision-making. They can help us gain perspective. They can also provide us with coping strategies and support tools.
Asking for help is a sign of self-awareness. It is not a sign of weakness. When we ask for help, we are acknowledging that we know we are struggling. When we are able to recognize and acknowledge our struggles with mental health, we are demonstrating a commitment to our own well-being. It takes insight to ask for help. We do not even need to be aware of the insight or the commitment to well-being. We just need to recognize that it is okay to ask for help.
How Mental Health Treatment Can Help You Heal
When we seek support, we find healing. We find that we are not alone. Mental health providers provide insight and understanding. They provide treatment. Through working with a mental health care provider, we gain hope that the struggles we are having with our mental health are not permanent. We gain hope that we can heal. We realize we are not alone, and that treatment exists. This allows us to move forward.
You Don't Have to Face Depression or Anxiety Alone
We do not need to wait until our symptoms of depression and anxiety are severe to seek help. It is okay to ask for help at any stage of our mental health journey. We might recognize early warning signs. That is a good time to seek help. That help might just be an extra therapy session or a quick conversation with a mental health provider. It might be a conversation with a trusted friend. The important thing is that we understand that seeking help is not only necessary, but also okay.
If you are struggling with your mental health, please seek help.
** Important**
If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or if you are in immediate danger, please reach out to your local emergency service or crisis center. This can be the 988 lifeline or 911. For immediate danger, you should call or have someone call 911.
988 can provide connection to quick services and has people answering the phone who are trained to talk to those who are struggling and make referrals.
It is always okay to ask for help.
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