Suicidal Thoughts Can Affect Anyone

                  Suicide Prevention Month is a time to help people who struggle with suicidal thoughts. An unfortunate reality is that suicidal thoughts can happen to anyone. There is no person that is immune to it. Suicidal thoughts are a symptom of an illness. That illness can affect anyone. Suicidal thoughts are painful and often debilitating. No one should have to face suicidal thoughts alone. That is why the awareness raised in months like this and the awareness work of mental health advocates and volunteers in groups such as NAMI is so critical. 

                  People who are experiencing suicidal thoughts need to be listen to. They need support. They need to feel safe reaching out for help. When a person’s thoughts are telling them that their life is not worth living, they need to be heard not judged. These thoughts are real. When a person shares that they are having suicidal thoughts their intention is not to be attention seeking. They are reaching out for help, and they deserve that help.

                  I have lived with suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager. At times these thoughts have been overwhelming and have led me to an edge I could have fallen over. Suicidal thoughts are painful. In my experience, it is difficult to talk back to these thoughts. For a long time, I tried to cope on my own. That was not healthy and led me further into the darkness of depression. These thoughts are real. I am lucky to have a mental health team that I can turn to in these times. It is for this reason that I work to raise awareness about the difficulties associated with mental illness. I want to help others find the help I have found. No one deserves to live with suicidal thoughts alone. 

I have learned that my suicidal thoughts are not my fault. That was a difficult lesson to learn. The thoughts are inside our heads. That makes it easy to believe we are at fault. But there is no blaming. There is no fault. Suicidal thoughts just happen. As I mentioned earlier, suicidal thoughts are a part of mental illness. Even with treatment, we can still be impacted by suicidal thoughts because these thoughts are powerful and are sneaky little b****es. They rush in when we are struggling. At other times they creep into our heads. I believe it is important to share our thoughts at times like these. This does not mean to just tell anyone. We need to share with someone we can trust. A mental health provider or a loved one can be vital listeners. If you do not have someone you can turn to, 988 is an important resource. This helpline can connect you with support and the person on the line can support you until you are connected with the appropriate help provider. Another important resource is 911.  If you are in immediate danger, it is best to call 911. 

Everyone deserves support. When we raise awareness about mental health and mental illness, we are making it possible for people to be heard. We are making it possible for people to receive the support they need in times of crisis. Suicidal thoughts should never be dismissed. They are serious and need to be addressed. 

Remember anyone can be affected by suicidal thoughts and these thoughts are not a sign of weakness. No matter how difficult times are or how loud the thoughts are, life is worth living.

 

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help.

 

You can call 988 or 911. NAMI has helplines.

Your primary care provider is also an option. 

If you have a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist shareyour thoughts with them.

You can also go to any emergency room.

You Possess the Strength to Ask for Help

                  As I have shared many times I have struggled with depression for over three decades. It started in my teen years. During that time, I didn’t understand what was going on and didn’t know how to get the help I needed. Decades of living with depression has taught me something important. What is that lesson? I possess the strength it takes to ask for help. When we are at our weakest points, we still possess the ability to reach out for help. How we reach out for help is going to vary from person to person, but when we do reach out, we need to be met with understanding. 

                  As a teenager I didn’t know how to reach out for help or that I even could reach out for help. My struggles were met by a lack of understanding from high school personnel who should have been able to help me. Maybe they were doing the best they could, given their understandings of mental health at the time. I don’t harbor bad feelings about the lack of help I received at that time. I am grateful that times have changed and that there are more avenues for help with mental health today.

                  Even though there is more help today, people often don’t seek help when they are struggling. Asking for help is seen as a sign of weakness by many, which is unfortunate.  It couldn’t be further from the truth to say that asking for help is a sign of weakness.  It takes incredible strength to recognize that you are struggling and to then reach out for help. Frequently, we don’t realize that we possess the strength to reach out. That has happened to me many times. I got through those teenage years, but even in my adult life sometimes I find myself saying that I can get through it on my own or that there is nothing anyone can do. Those words paralyze me, making it hard for me to receive the help I need. I know I am not alone in this. 

                  Fortunately for me, I have learned to reach out and say that one syllable word, “help”.  Each time I have uttered that word, I have received assistance. That has led to having a mental health team that I know I can always turn to when I am struggling. I believe it is a sign of strength to ask for this help. It requires me to recognize that I do not need to do it alone. It also requires me to understand that I don’t have to live trapped in my depression. I had to build up the ability to ask for help. Like weightlifting, it requires repetition and consistency. Each time I get myself to reach out for help, it becomes a little easier. In a sense I have developed something akin to muscle memory. When the darkness sets in and depression leads to suicidal thoughts, my mind reaches out for help. I have reached out enough for my mind to know that is what it needs to do. Of course this is not foolproof. There are other factors like trust in my mental health team. That trust increases my strength and allows me to reach out. 

                  In our darkest moments hope may seem to be absent. If we can get ourselves to reach out, we will find that there is help available. Returning to my weightlifting example, it takes practice to be able to reach out for help. We need to continue to reach out when we are struggling. Reaching out needs to be normalized. As a society we need to encourage reaching out. We need to ensure that people know they are not alone in their suffering. This is how we develop strength.  

                  Mental health professionals play a vital role in developing the strength to reach out for help. They need to encourage people to reach out. Whether it is encouraging people to reach out to them or to other available resources such as 988 or NAMI support groups, mental health professionals can provide people with a way to reach out for help. 

                  Know that if you are struggling you deserve help. You do not have to struggle alone. Even if all you can do is whisper it, you can reach out for help. Dialing 988 can be a life saver. If you just get yourself to press those three numbers, someone on the other end will help you make your needs known. If you are lucky enough to have a mental health provider, make a plan with them for what to do when the darkness is too much. 

                  “Help” is a simple word, but it is incredibly powerful. Tell yourself you possess the strength to use this word. Asking for help can make a difference. I know it has made a difference in my life.

                   

Suicide Warning Signs

                  One way to take action during Suicide Prevention Month is to learn the warning signs that someone may be at risk for attempting suicide. Often, warning signs are overlooked or not seen because suicide is something most people would rather not think about. Sometimes people treat the warning signs as being attention seeking and don’t realize the seriousness of these signs. It is important to know that these signs are not attention seeking and must be taken seriously.

                  Let me start by saying that people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts are not seeking attention. I have been there. I have sat in the depths of suicidal thoughts and in those moments, I have never been seeking attention. I have been suffering and feeling alone, isolated from the world around me to the point that I wanted to escape. So, please don’t believe for one moment that a person who is expressing the warning signs of suicide is just seeking attention. They are in crisis and need help.

                  I defined suicide in my last post (World Suicide Prevention Day Post). “Suicide is when a person harms themselves with the goal of ending their life, and they die as a result.” (the National Institute of Mental Health). A suicide attempt is when a person harms themselves with the intent of dying, but do not die.  

                  The National Institute of Mental Health lists the following as warning signs of suicide:

                  “·  Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill themselves

·      Talking about feeling empty or hopeless or having no reason to live

·      Talking about feeling trapped or feeling that there are no solutions

·      Feeling unbearable emotional or physical pain

·      Talking about being a burden to others

·      Withdrawing from family and friends

·      Giving away important possessions

·      Saying goodbye to friends and family

·      Putting affairs in order, such as a will

·      Taking great risks that could lead to death, such as driving extremely fast

·      Talking or thinking about death often

·      Displaying extreme mood swings, suddenly changing from very sad to very calm or happy

·      Making a plan or looking for ways to kill themselves such as searching for lethal methods online, stockpiling pills or buying a gun

·      Talking about feeling great guilt or shame

·      Using alcohol or drugs more often 

·      Acting anxious or agitated

·      Changing eating or sleeping habits

·      Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.”

 

It can be difficult to know if a person is suicidal, but these warning signs give an

indication that the person is considering it or may be ready to act. A change in behavior or a new, concerning behavior is an indication that there is need to get help as soon as possible.

                  Sometimes it is difficult to know if a person is engaging in some of these behaviors. For example, you may not know someone is stockpiling pills.  I stockpiled pills until I had significant amount, and no one knew. That is why it is important to have conversations with the person if you suspect they might be considering suicide. No one knew about my pills until I felt safe enough to tell one of my mental health providers. In the same way, you may not know a loved one has made a plan to attempt suicide. For that reason, it is important to watch for other signs. Noticing some of the other signs may lead you to finding out that they have made a plan. It is okay to ask a person if they are thinking about or planning to attempt suicide. Some people fear that bringing it up will put the idea in someone’s head. Research shows that it won’t. It is better to have honest conversations if you notice one or more of the warning signs. That will get the conversation started and lead to intervention. 

                  The times I have been asked if I was thinking about attempting suicide, I have been honest. That has led to getting me help. It did not make my thoughts worse or increase my likelihood of acting on my thoughts. Just asking is not enough. You need to get the person help. How do you do that?

                  First, stay with the person. Do not leave them alone. It is important not to tell the person you will keep their thoughts a secret.  You need to get help. Calling 988 for support is a first step. 988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If there is an immediate, life-threatening situation you should call 911. Be sure to tell the person who answers that this is a mental health crisis and involves a possible suicide attempt. 

                  If there is not an immediate threat, 988 is the best option. You can call or text 988. You can also log on to https://988lifeline.org/. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24-hour, confidential support to anyone involved in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. You will be connected to a trained crisis counselor.

                  Today’s world has changed a lot. It is possible that you may learn someone is suicidal on social media. Some of the social media sites have a process to get the person help. You can find information on how to get help on the different social media platforms on the 988 Lifeline website at https://988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/support-on-social-media/.

                  If you are young person reading this, please never keep a friend’s suicidal thoughts a secret. It is important to reach out to a trusted adult if a friend expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions. Even if you are unsure of your friend’s intent, tell a trusted adult. 

                  I am not a professional. I am a person with lived experience. I have lived with suicidal thoughts. I have been in crisis. As I reflect on those instances, I don’t think I really wanted to die as much as I wanted to escape the emotional and mental pain I was experiencing. I needed help. I couldn’t do it on my own. Suicide often seems like the only escape, but suicide is not the answer. There is help available. I am grateful to those who have ensured that I received help over the years. 

                  So, if you see any of the warning signs in someone, take action. Stay with the person and reach out for help. 

 

 

World Suicide Prevention Day

                 September 10^th is World Suicide Prevention Day. This is an important day to me for a few reasons. First, I believe we need to draw awareness to the number of people living with and fighting suicidal thoughts. There are too many people dying by suicide. Another reason is more personal. I have lived with suicidal thoughts for most of my life. I understand the struggle and know the pain. Another reason is that too often people are shocked when a loved one or friend dies by suicide. The warning signs are missed. (Thursday’s post will discuss warning signs.) One more reason is that if we can prevent even one death by being more aware, we are making progress. World Suicide Prevention Day draws attention to seriousness of suicide and the need for more prevention efforts.

                  The slogan for this year is “Changing the Narrative on Suicide.”  There is a call to action to “Start the Conversation” with the aim of “transforming how we perceive this complex issue and shifting from a culture of silence and stigma to one of openness, understanding, and support.” To put this simply we need to talk about suicide in a way that reduces stigma and allows for providing help to those experiencing suicidal thoughts. This includes learning the warning signs and knowing how to get help for someone who is struggling or in crisis. 

                  The need is obvious when we look at the number of people who die by suicide. The World Health Organization (WHO) states that globally there are more than 700,000 deaths by suicide each year. We can’t ignore a number like that. This is where the awareness piece comes into play. We need to be aware that suicide poses a real crisis. When we look at the data in detail, it is heartbreaking to see how many people die by suicide. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, suicide is the second leading cause of death for people aged 10-14 years, 15-24 years, and 25-34. The American Psychological Association stated that 20% of teens seriously considered suicide between 2011 and 2021. In 2021 the National Institute of Mental Health (NIH) reported suicide claimed the lives of over 48,000 people. That number is nearly two times as many as the number of homicides in that same year.

                   There are three definitions we should understand. According to NIH suicide is defined as “death caused by self-directed injurious behavior with intent to die as a result.”

They define a suicide attempt as “a non-fatal, self-directed, potentially injurious behavior with intent to die as a result of the behavior.” Finally, suicidal ideation “refers to thinking about, considering, or planning suicide.”

                  I mentioned that I have a more personal reason for believing that World Suicide Prevention Day is important. I have dealt with suicidal ideation since I was in my teen years. I have been on the edge of attempts. Thankfully, I have been helped in these instances. I wouldn’t be here if the people who helped me hadn’t been aware of suicide. Several times my ideation has been relieved, or my attempts stopped by mental health professionals, but there have been times when a friend or family member has stepped in and made sure I received help. It is the awareness of these friends and family that is important on this day and every day. We need to build more awareness in people. We never know when someone we care about might need help. Awareness that suicidal ideation does not go away on its own, but it is a step in the direction towards making a difference. Knowing how to direct the person toward help is also important. The more aware we are, the more likely we are to be able to make a difference.

                  September 8^th was National 988 Day. 988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone you know is expressing thoughts of suicide this is the number to call. If you are having these thoughts, call this number. You will be provided with the support necessary to get you through the situation and keep you safe. 988 provides judgement-free care. The conversation you have can save your life or the life of someone else. You can call, text, or chat with this line. There is a website, https://988lifeline.org/get-help/. I have a friend who didn’t know what to do when her friend repeatedly expressed suicidal ideation. She asked me what to do. I recommended she call 988 and ask for support. The person who answered was able to get support to my friend’s friend. This was the first step in providing her with help. She is alive today because of the help provided by 988. As we raise awareness about suicide prevention, we should make sure people know about 988. A simple phone call can really save a life. 

                  This month I am going to focus several of my posts on raising awareness about suicide. It is not just my personal experiences with suicide. I have also had students who lived with suicidal ideation. Perhaps living with these thoughts and knowing others who have also lived with the thoughts has made me more aware and allowed me to understand the importance of awareness. While September 8^th was 988 Day and September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day, the whole month of September is set aside as Suicide Prevention Month. A month is not enough to raise the awareness we need to raise, but it is a start. My posts this month might make some people uncomfortable because I am going to discuss suicide. It is a topic people try to pretend doesn’t exist, but it does exist. I have experienced the pain of suicidal ideation and attempts. I know firsthand that awareness makes a difference. I apologize if I make you uncomfortable, but sometimes to help another person, we need to step outside of our comfort zones.  Let’s do everything we can to increase awareness about suicide. We never know whose life we are saving in doing so.