Negative Comments and Mental Health: Why Respect Matters Online

                  Mental health blogs, social media posts, and podcasts require vulnerability. When we share about mental health, we are opening up about things  that deeply affects us. Some of us live with mental illness. Others provide care for people living with mental illness. No matter what our role is we are trying to share how mental illness affects people and how important it is to have access to treatment.

                  I feel a need to write about this because recently I have seen negative and hurtful comments on mental health posts and been told about others. Why do people find the need to be hurtful? Is it a lack of understanding? A lack of empathy? A lack of compassion? I do not have an answer, but I feel that this is a topic worth discussing.

                  Blog posts and social media posts about mental health are usually honest and vulnerable. These posts are attempting spread awareness about mental illness, which impacts 1 in 5 adults in the United States and 1 in 8 adults worldwide. Put simply, over a lifetime nearly half of the people in the world will experience mental illness at some point in their lives. This is why awareness matters. So, when we share our stories, when we attempt to raise awareness, or when a provider shares treatment options, an attempt is being mad to normalize mental health struggles.  

How Do Hurtful and Dismissive Comments Affect People Living with Mental Illness?

Comments that are hurtful or dismissive of mental illness sting. These comments can discourage people from reading posts that are intended to help those who are struggling. Hurtful and dismissive comments can discourage people from reading about mental illness. Posts such as my blog are intended to share what it is like to live with mental illness. They are intended to spread awareness and let people know they are not alone in their struggles. When we read hurtful or dismissive comments, we might question our illness. We might be hesitant to reach out for help. It can worsen our symptoms.

                  I am not saying that every comment needs to agree with what we are sharing about mental illness, but a person can disagree in a respectful way. It is okay to say something like “I see it differently because…” I can respect a different viewpoint when it is presented respectfully. What I cannot respect are comments that are mocking, minimizing, or attacking. If you have not lived with mental illness, you may not understand what is being shared about mental health You may not be able to relate. That is okay. Just be kind. 

                  My blog does not generate a lot of comments, but since starting this blog in 2023, I have deleted a few hurtful comments. These comments have no place on my blog. I do not see a purpose in engaging with hurtful or dismissive comments. Other people I know who have mental health blogs, social media accounts, or podcasts feel the same way. We are not going to engage with the negative. Our purpose is to spread awareness about mental health in a safe and positive environment.

                  The other day I was listening to a video post on social media by a psychiatrist I have received treatment from. It was an informative video that shared how a particular treatment can benefit people living with depression. There were only a couple of comments, but one was really inappropriate. It attacked the provider. My first instinct was to write a comment in response to defend the provider. I resisted this urge. There was nothing I could say to change this person’s mind. I was not going to get this commenter to understand that their comment could prevent someone from seeking a treatment that could help them. Maybe the commenter had a bad experience with the treatment, but that is not a reason to attack. Move on. Not every treatment is going to work for everyone. Instead of writing an attacking comment, this person could have just continued scrolling. While I did not respond to the commentor, I did leave my own comment on the post. I simply said thank you to the provider. 

                  If you are reading blog or social media posts about mental health (and since you are here, I am assuming that you do), learn from the posts. If you want to comment, and I encourage you to comment on my blog posts, there are a few ways you can engage. You might share a personal experience, offer support, ask thoughtful questions, or simply leave a thumbs up or heart. 

                  When we post about living with mental illness, we are opening ourselves up to others. We are sharing our personal experience. We are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. These experiences are real and often difficult to share because of the pain that has been a part of the experience. Read what we share. Understand that we are attempting to raise awareness about mental illness and let others know they are not alone. Providers who post are trying to help people living with mental illness. They are raising awareness about the help and support that is available. Our posts are an important aspect of mental health awareness.

                  I encourage people to engage with mental health blogs and social media posts but do so with the intent of learning and supporting. There are many mental health blogs and social media accounts. These posts can make a difference in someone’s life. If you choose to engage, make sure you are positive and supportive. Add to the discussion and be a part of the awareness that is generated.

 

Why ‘Doing Enough’ Is Enough: Living with Depression and Letting Go of Pressure

        Recently, I saw a social media post that said, “Just because you could do more doesn’t mean you’re not doing enough already.” This statement really struck me. I felt it. My guess is that a lot of us can relate to this. It seems there is always a push to do more, but maybe what we really need to do is take a step back and let what are doing be enough.

                  While this statement likely applies to most people, I think it has even more meaning for those of us living with mental illness. When we are struggling with our mental health, it can be hard to accomplish all we think we need to get done. Our mental illness gets in the way. Tasks become harder to do. We place pressure on ourselves. The pressure than makes it more difficult for us to do things. Then our mental illness grows louder.

                  When you live with depression there is a heaviness that makes it difficult to be as productive as we might like to be. There is a weight bearing down on us. We try to do things, but our mood prevents us from engaging in activities. We may be able to go through the motions, but we tell ourselves we are not doing enough. Sometimes we can be productive. Many of us living with depression have jobs or go to school. We are out there in the world doing our best to be productive. Still a darkness may hang over us. We might get things done, but it never seems to be enough. When we get trapped into thinking that we are not doing enough, our depression grows louder in our minds. We are unable to recognize what we have done. We feel we haven’t done enough or even that we are not enough. This is part of the cycle of lies that depression tells us.

                  This feeling of not doing enough also occurs when we live with anxiety. When anxiety controls our thoughts, we worry more about not doing enough. Pressure to accomplish tasks grows. It suffocates us. We tell ourselves that we need to do more. We become anxious about what others will think or say. We might become convinced that we are going to lose our job or that we will fail a class. So, we push ourselves to our breaking point. This might lead to an anxiety attack that leaves us unable to do anything. The pressure we put on ourselves to do more can leave us unable to do anything. 

                  But as the statement above says, we are doing enough. I know it is hard a lesson to learn, but we need to remember that doing what we can is enough. We do not need to push ourselves beyond our limit. Sometimes it is okay to just say, “I have done what I can and that is enough.” I know that is easy to say, but hard to believe. I get it. I struggle with the pressure I put on myself. My last post (April 13^th) is an example of letting what I can do be enough. I had a rough weekend and could not write the post I wanted to write for Monday. I beat myself up about it. I told myself I had to write a post. As Sunday neared an end and Monday’s post was not written, I had a choice. I could stay up all night and beat myself up or I could post something simple and let that be good enough. In the end, I chose to let what I could do be enough. I posted a poem I had previously written, but never shared. It did not receive the number of reads I had hoped for, but I posted on schedule.

                  Was it hard for me to allow myself not to write full post? Yes, it was very hard. Monday, I kept telling myself that I should have written more. That was the voice of my depression and anxiety. These two illnesses were trying to tear me down. While it is hard, I need to recognize the “voices” for what they are. Depression and anxiety feed off telling me I am not enough. I am sure many others can relate to this. We put pressure on ourselves. We question our worth. I am working on telling myself that what I am able to do is enough. I do not need to be perfect. I do not need to push myself beyond my limits. Neither do you. What we can do is enough. It is going to look different on different days. We need to respect ourselves and understand that we are doing the best we can. Living with mental illness is a challenge. Whatever effort we can put forth is worthy.  Even if we feel we can do more, we need to remember that what we can do is enough. 

                  This means not comparing ourselves to others. We are all different. We all face different challenges. While it is hard to avoid comparisons, we need to try to give ourselves the grace to be who we are and accept our abilities for what they are. We do what we can. Others do what they can. Let it be enough to do what we can. We need to honor ourselves by recognizing that we do our best and that is enough. 

                  So, remember “Just because you could do more doesn’t mean you’re not doing enough already.” 

 

 

 

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Reaching Out During Depression: Why Asking for Help Matters

        As I write this post it is Sunday evening. I usually write my posts the day before I post them so that I can post it early the next morning. In all honesty I am not up to writing a post right now. I have tried to write a few times today, but nothing is forming on the page. Recently, I have been struggling with my mental health. It happens. I go through stretches when things are not what I would I like them to be. It is part of living with mental illness. I understand that there will be difficult times. I know I need to reach out for help in these moments. I am lucky to have an amazing mental health team who I can reach out to and know they will support me. I am grateful for them. 

                  Since I am not up to writing a post, I thought I would share a poem. I found one I wrote in 2024. It seems fitting, given how I am feeling, to share this poem about reaching out. It is also National Poetry Month. So, there is another reason to share a poem. 

                  I plan to be back to a regular post on Thursday. I hope everyone can understand my need to take a break today. For now, I hope this poem shares some insight into the need to reach out for help when we are struggling.  

 

Reaching Out

 

Reaching out for help

When the darkness becomes overwhelming

Is not an easy task.

It requires strength when we feel so weak.

We often think we cannot reach out.

We fear we will be rejected.

Afraid others will not understand.

Unsure of who to seek out.

One word is all it takes, or even

A simple phrase,

“I need help”.

 

The darkness is real.

Depression lies to us,

Makes us believe the darkness is all there is,

But that is a lie.

We may not see the light, but

The light is there.

Waiting to embrace us.

Welcoming us into healing.

While it is not easy,

We must reach out.

 

One hand emerges from the darkness.

Reaches out to you.

Grabs hold and strengthens you.

Extend your hand and hold on.

Accepting help is okay.

Reaching out should be our norm.

Others have been there.

We are not alone.

 

Depression Doesn’t Discriminate: What Lauren Betts Teaches Us About Mental Health

“My mental health isn’t perfect. It’s an ongoing project.”

 – Lauren Betts, college basketball player

 

 

                  The above quote is incredibly powerful and wise. Lauren Betts is a college (soon to be WNBA) player, who has lived with depression. Her realization that “mental health isn’t perfect” and that it is an “ongoing project” shows so much insight for a young person. I feel sadden that such a young person has had the experience to understand this about mental illness. At the same time, I have so much admiration for her. Her story is a powerful lesson, but it is hers to tell, not mine. She has shared it in a beautifully written essay for The Players’ Tribune. Read it here: "I Want to Be Here". 

                  This young woman shares her story for attention, but the not the attention that brings fans or grows a social media platform. She is using her story to bring attention and awareness to mental illness. At first glance this is a young woman who has so much. An elite basketball player with opportunity waiting for her in the WNBA, she seems to have everything going for her. Depression still attacked her. She fought the darkness and the hard thoughts that go with depression. She sought help. She realized that she wanted to fight depression and live. Now, as she shares her story, her goal is to help others. On the brightest stage of women’s basketball, right after winning a national championship with her UCLA teammates and being named most outstanding player, she said she wants to help others. Despite the struggles she has been through, she has set her sights on helping others discover that even when depression is at its darkest, life is worth living. 

                  Before I move on, I encourage you to read her story after you read this post. If you have young people in your life, share her story with them. If you have student athletes in your life, share her story with them. Share the resilience and hope that Lauren Betts exudes with them. Many young people are struggling with mental illness even if we do not know it. Let them hear the story of a student athlete who has been in their shoes. 

                  Acknowledging that mental health is not perfect is important. Even on our best days, on the days when the world thinks we have it altogether, we might still be struggling. Our mental health ebbs and flows. We need to remember that it is an illness. It requires care and treatment. There is no perfect cure for mental illness. We can learn to manage our mental health. We can heal with treatment. Even with all this, there are still going to be difficult times. There are going to be times when depression or anxiety (or the symptoms of any mental illness) will remind us they are there. We will experience the darkness of depression. Our thoughts may turn negative or hopeless. Remember it is okay to experience these emotions and thoughts. As Betts states, “…mental health isn’t perfect.” What matters is that we show up each day and are willing to work on our mental health. 

                  In this way mental health is an “ongoing project.” We need to work to heal. That work involves taking medication, participating in therapy, seeing our mental health care providers, receiving non-traditional treatments, and/or practicing self-care strategies and coping skills. Living with mental illness is not easy. Working to better our mental health is necessary. It is hard work, but the rewards, the healing, are worth the effort. 

I love that Betts calls mental health an “ongoing project”. It is incredible that such a young person understands this. I do not think that I understood that at her age. She is absolutely right. We can never stop working on our mental health. When we work on our mental health, we make discoveries about ourselves. We learn that we do not need to listen to what depression tells us. We learn that depression and anxiety lie to us. Depression and anxiety have loud, strong voices. It takes work to drown them out. As we work on our mental health, we learn to talk back to the voices of depression and anxiety. It is not an easy process, but if we see it as an ongoing process, one that will have ups and downs, we are better able to focus on the work. 

Depression often makes us feel that life is not worth living. It is lying to us, but the lies are spewed in a loud, convincing voice. We start to believe the voice. At times we want to give up. With the help of our mental health providers, we do the work necessary to overcome the voice of depression. When we read stories like the story Lauren Betts has shared, we learn that we “want to be here.” We learn that we want to live. 

Sharing our stories is an important part of the “ongoing project” of living with depression and other mental illnesses. Even as someone who has lived with depression and anxiety for almost 40 years, I learn from hearing or reading someone else’s story. I learned from Lauren Betts’ story. Our stories are valuable. They allow us to realize that we are resilient. When we share our stories, we share our resilience. We give each other hope. That is why I write this blog and work so hard to post twice each week. I never know who will gain something from my story and what I am sharing. 

There are many young people like Lauren Betts, who at first look have it all together. Many young people who excel at something like sports, may seem to be alright, but under all the accolades might be struggling. Behind the baskets, the homeruns, the touchdowns, or the goals is human who experiences emotions that we do not see. The same is true of the young person who excels at music, art, or gets good grades. Just as important, the young person who is just one face in the crowd, the one who fades into the background, or the one who is getting into trouble all experience emotions. We do not always see the struggle. So, it is important that we check in on all these young people. It is important that we check in on each other, too. We are all ongoing projects. Our mental health is not perfect, no matter what we show on the outside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spring Depression Is Real: Symptoms, Causes, and How to Cope

                When we think about the seasons affecting depression, we usually think about depression worsening in the winter months. Many of us struggle more during winter, but our depression can be affected by other seasons. Spring is a time when many people expect to feel better. As winter ends, we often expect our mood to lighten with sunnier days. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. There is a variation of seasonal affective disorder that arises during the spring. In this post I am going to focus on how our depression might be present in the spring months. 

                  First, a quick look at symptoms we might see during the spring. These symptoms are not limited to the spring. When we live with depression these symptoms can be present year-round, but these symptoms might increase or change during spring.

 

·      Low mood or lingering sadness

·      Anxiety or restlessness (often higher than in winter months)

·      Trouble sleeping (insomnia or disrupted sleep cycles)

·      Irritability or agitation

·      Loss of motivation or feeling “off”

·      Difficulty concentrating

        We might think that our moods should improve as spring arrives. Days are longer. There is more sunlight. Days are brighter. Our mood should be brighter, too, right? Not always. There are several reasons why our mood might drop and why we might experience the symptoms listed above.

                  One reason is a disruption in circadian rhythm. Our internal clock might be thrown off by the longer hours of daylight. This can impact sleep patterns. When our sleep patterns are disrupted, we can experience insomnia. That insomnia can affect our mood negatively. Maintaining regular sleep patterns is an important part of stabilizing our mood. It may take time to adjust to the longer hours of daylight. There are also hormonal changes as our bodies adjust to being exposed to more light. 

                  Spring brings increased social pressures. We may expect ourselves to be happy as the season changes. Often, we expect ourselves to be more socially active. There is more sunlight. We might think that means we need to get out and do things. This leads to thinking that we should be more productive. We see others who seem more energized. As we place these expectations on ourselves and see others who are engaged, our mood can be affected. We might experience an increase in depression.  

                  Spring can bring busier schedules and more obligations. We are emerging from the cocoon of winter. As our schedules become fuller, we may place pressure on ourselves to accomplish everything. Sometimes this pressure becomes unrealistic. Spring seems like the time to get things done. There is that concept of “spring cleaning” where we clean out the old and start new. This can create a pressure that allows our depression to move to the forefront of our lives. Our brains scream that they are overwhelmed with everything spring brings. 

                  As we struggle with the depression, we see an external environment that does not match how we are feeling. Spring brings sunshine and blooming flowers. Everyone around us seems to be in a good mood. We start to question why we do not feel “happy”. We think something is wrong with us. This increases the depression that has already slipped into our lives. As a result, we might isolate more. We might doubt our abilities. Depression takes over. 

                  How do we cope with spring depression? There are a few things we can do to ease the depression. Of course, first is to maintain our treatments. If we are taking medication, in therapy, and/or receiving a non-traditional treatment, we need to continue with those and not let there be an interruption to that care. What else can we do?

 

·      Stabilize our routine: This includes keeping consistent sleep/wake times. It also means not overcommitting socially or with work.

·      Be intentional with sunlight: Let ourselves gradually get more sunlight. This gradual process will prevent feeling overwhelmed by increased sunlight. 

·      Manage anxiety: We can experience increased anxiety during spring. So, it is important to practice our coping strategies. This can include breathing exercises, grounding techniques, mindfulness activities, gentle stretching, and journaling. 

·      Lower expectations: We do not need to be ready for the changes spring brings right away. We should remind ourselves that we only need to do what we are able to do. We do not need to keep up with what we see others doing. Our pace is just that, our pace and our pace is just what we need. 

·      Stay connected: Talking to a loved one or friend we trust can be important. It helps us share what we are feeling and receive support. It is also important to keep our appointments with our mental health professionals. They are key in supporting us through the changes new seasons might bring.

        Seeking help might be necessary. We all experience difficulties with our mentalhealth at times. When these difficulties persist, symptoms interfere with daily functioning, or we have increased anxiety, panic, or hopelessness, and/or decreased mood it is important to reach out to a mental health professional. Reaching out for professional health is important. It is not only a sign of strength, but also a sign that we value our mental health. Awareness that we need help with our mental health is a key aspect of healing. Seeking help is also a normal action. We would see a doctor if we had an issue with our physical health. We should do the same with our mental health.

                  Often, spring is thought of as a time new beginnings and growth. Not all of us experience spring that way. That is okay. Spring can affect each of us differently. Spring can be difficult. It is not all sunshine and flowers. When we struggle the first step is awareness. If you recognize any of the symptoms above or feel that you are struggling with an aspect of your mental health, it is okay to seek help. Seeking help is normal whatever season it is.

                  Let me end with a thought for all of us to reflect on: What does my mind need this season, not what the world expects, rather what does my mind need?

 

 

Living with Depression: Why Small Wins Matter More Than We Think

                  At times depression or other mental illnesses can be overwhelming. It may seem like we are failing at everything. We may not feel like we are accomplishing much. That feeling leads to more intense depression. It is a cycle that we sometimes get trapped in when we are struggling with our depression. How can we break out of this cycle? One way is to focus on small wins.  A small win is a simple, achievable action. It requires energy. The amount of energy may seem small, but when you are struggling even a small amount of energy can be difficult to expend. So, making the effort is something to be applauded.

                  Let’s look at how we can focus on small wins and learn to give ourselves credit for these wins. In my experience, when we live with depression, it is difficult but necessary to shift our perspective into an acceptance and appreciation for small wins. An important thing to remember is that a small win moves us forward, no matter how small that win may seem. We should not pay attention to how big or important the win looks to the outside world. Small wins are defined by the fact that they required energy and intention. We define these wins, not others.

                  Small wins help us break through low motivation. With depression we often struggle with motivation. It can be difficult to do anything when we are depressed. So, a small win might be just doing something simple. A few examples might be sitting up when all you want to do is lie in bed and escape reality, taking a shower, stepping outside, washing one dish, or walking to the end of the driveway. Small wins often support our basic needs. It could be as simple as eating a few bites of food when we do not feel up to eating. Often, taking care of basic needs are small wins when we are trapped in the darkness of depression. 

                  Small wins can also interrupt negative thought patterns. If our thoughts are telling us that we cannot do anything or that we want to give up, doing just one small thing can be a win. Negative thought patterns can be debilitating. They can prevent us from doing things. If we can interrupt these thought patterns with little achievements, we can start to realize that we have power over the thoughts. In doing this we can make strides towards breaking out of the depression. These strides keep us going. Even a small step forward, is just that, a step forward. 

                  Another way small wins help us is they build momentum when our motivation is low. It is difficult to be motivated to do things, even what seem like simple things, when we are depressed. Small wins give us evidence that we can be productive. They show us that even if we are struggling with motivation, we can take positive steps forward. Each time we achieve a small win, we are giving ourselves proof that we our depression does not need to have total control. 

                  When we live with depression our brains often become stuck in a negative loop. We see everything as a failure or a sign of our worthlessness. Focusing on small wins helps retrains our brains to notice our efforts. We learn that it is the effort that counts. Sometimes all we can muster is doing something small, but the effort that requires is huge. Small wins allow us to see effort as an achievement.

                  One way to focus on small wins is to create a “What Have I Done List” instead of a “To Do List.”  I get caught up in “To Do Lists”, but I know it often derails me as I find myself thinking about all I need to do. As I complete tasks on my list, I always add a checkmark to the task. It is a way of giving myself credit for what I have accomplished. I think I need to move away from the “To Do Lists”, though. If I made “What Have I Done” lists, I could see my small wins and those wins would build up. So, starting now, I am challenging myself to focus on what I have done instead of allowing myself to get overwhelmed by all that I need to do. Will you join me in this challenge?

                  Part of creating a “What Have I Done” list and focusing on small wins involves changing our inner narrative. This is important whether we create a list or are just focusing on small wins. Often with depression we do not give ourselves credit for what we have done. Depression might say that something small does not count. It might tell us that we did not do enough. We need to shift our inner narrative. Things we can say include, “That took effort,” “It may seem small, but I put in effort to do it,” or “This is where I am at the moment.” Notice that these are not sappy, positive statements. Rather, they are simply statements of fact. Stating simple facts is one way to talk back to depression and give ourselves recognition for our effort.

                  Doing things in parts is another way to focus on small wins. Instead of focusing on something like cleaning the kitchen, we can tell ourselves that we are going to do a small part of that task. Maybe it is washing one plate. That is progress. One plate can lead to another when we are ready. Washing one item at a time will eventually result in the whole task being complete. If we want to walk for 20 minutes but feel overwhelmed by thought of committing to that long, we might step outside for three minutes. That is a small win. Maybe the next time we try for five minutes. Slowly, we will build up to those 20 minutes. However, if we do not, that is okay, too. The three or five minutes we step outside are still wins.

                  A small win is something that might be difficult for us, but we do it anyway. When we live with depression, focusing on the small wins is a large part of our healing. We cannot always do everything we think needs to be done. Depression is a heavy load. Just doing the little things can be difficult. So, we need to give ourselves grace. (See my recent post: Living with Depression: Learning to Give Myself Grace (A Personal Journey) for more on giving ourselves grace.) Even though the small wins may not seem like much, they add up. These small wins can lay the foundation for healing.

In this post I used the term small wins, but I would like to point out that these small wins are really major accomplishments. It is important to frame our positive steps forward as wins. This allows us to see the progress we are making and ease feelings of overwhelm. Often, depression masks that progress. Focusing on the small wins allows us to build up a supply of positives that say, “Hey, I am accomplishing things.” So, let’s try to focus on the small wins. 

 

 

Rethinking Depression: We Don’t Need Fixing, We Need Rediscovery

        True healing is not the fixing of the broken, but the rediscovery of the unbroken

– Jeff Foster

 

                  Often, we think of healing as fixing something that is not well or broken. I would like to delve into that idea. Is there more to healing than just fixing something? With my depression I have always thought of being trapped in a darkness more than being broken. That being said, I still require healing. Am I broken or do I carry a heavy load that blankets me in darkness?  I know I need healing to escape that darkness. How does that healing take place? How do we rediscover what was not broken, but rather shrouded in darkness?

                  Most of my life I have felt lost in the darkness. Despite that overwhelming feeling of darkness, at times, it has also felt like a brokeness. Perhaps, the idea of brokeness stems from how others view depression. The stigma attached to depression and other mental illnesses leaves us feeling that there is something wrong with us, that we are somehow broken. Still deep down, I do not think I am broken. Yes, I suffer from depression and anxiety. Yes, life is difficult at times. However, I think those difficulties arise when the world loses its color. It is when the darkness sets in that I struggle and cannot see the light in my world.

Healing from depression does not require fixing my brain or fixing something that is not working inside of me. Instead, I need to rediscover (or maybe discover) the light in my life. I need to find the aspects of me that bring me pleasure and allow me to engage with others. For many of us living with depression, the ability to experience pleasure is lost. With depression we lose the ability to fully engage with others. When we consider healing, what we need is to rediscover these abilities. We may even need to discover them for the first time. That is why healing from depression is about rediscovery and not fixing something that is broken. 

Healing is about rediscovering these abilities that bring us pleasure. It is rediscovering how to fully experience these things. The darkness of depression has hidden pleasure, our ability to engage in life, and our ability to be fully present. Healing allows us to rediscover what the darkness has hidden. 

Healing looks different for each of us. Our paths may appear different. For some a combination of medication and therapy brings healing. For others it is a combination of therapy and TMS or esketamine that allows rediscovery to occur. Therapy is often a key component of the healing process no matter which route we choose. In therapy we work to find the light that depression has snuffed out. We learn strategies to help us. We learn what experiencing pleasure looks like for us. We learn how to find joy. Therapy allows us to rediscover what we need to live life in the light of healing. 

There is no shame when we are unable to rediscover what brings us pleasure. Healing takes time. It is not linear. Healing can be a scrambled mess with ups and downs, ebbs and flows. We are not being fixed. We are engaging in a process of rediscovery. That means we need to work at healing. We need support systems. We need people in our lives who are invested in our healing. These people guide us in rediscovering what the darkness of depression has shut out of our lives. 

When you live with depression, healing is not about being fixed. It is about engaging in the process of rediscovery. It requires searching for what brings us pleasure. At times depression is going to be heavy. Its darkness will be consuming. We need to allow ourselves the grace to search for rediscovery at our own pace.

Viewing healing as rediscovery rather than fixing allows us to recognize that there is not something wrong with us. There is a blanket of darkness over us, but we can rediscover how to lift that blanket. We can find the light of healing and rediscover what brings us pleasure in life. Depression is not something to be fixed. Rather it is a darkness that can be replaced by light. Think about the title of this blog, Bent Not Broken, Living with Depression. We are not broken; we are just a little bent and need to rediscover what brings us pleasure.