How to Ask for Help with Depression and Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Guide

Often when depression or anxiety are bearing down on us, we lose the ability to ask for help. Something traps us in a void that excludes those who could help us. It is not that help is not there, it is that we lose sight of the fact that it is okay to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Read that again, asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

Asking for help is a means to access to the help we need. It is unreasonable to believe that we can fight depression and anxiety alone even though these illnesses tell us that we are on our own. Asking for help leads to access to the very help we need. One of the most important reasons that it is okay to ask for help and that we need to ask for help is that depression and anxiety are real health conditions. They require the intervention of health care professionals. Mental health care professionals need to provide intervention, but often we need to start with physical health care professionals if we have not received help or a diagnosis before. 

How to Ask for Help When You're Struggling with Depression or Anxiety

Let’s back up a little. How do we ask for help? There are a few things we can do. 

·      Share what we are experiencing with a trusted loved one or friend – Let them know we are struggling and would like/need support. 

·      Reach out to a primary care provider – Often, our primary care provider is the one who can make initial mental health referrals. We can make an appointment to see our primary care provider. If we do not have one, we can go to an urgent care facility.

·      Find a support group – We can join a support group with or without a diagnosis. Support groups can offer support in finding the right help to deal with what we are going through. NAMI has a peer led support group that can be helpful. Check it out here: NAMI Connection.

·      Speak to a school counselor or reach out to an employee assistance program – These are often good first steps. If we are inclined, we could also reach out to a faith provider. All these have basic training in providing support and referring to the right mental health care provider.

What to Say When You Need Help for Depression or Anxiety

What if we do not have the words to ask for help? Here are some things we can say when we need help with depression or anxiety:

           If we do not have a mental health diagnosis:

·      I am struggling. I do not know how to put it in words, but I need help.

·      I feel depressed and I do not know what to do.

·      I feel very down. I need help making this feeling stop.

·      I feel anxious and I do not know what to do.

·      Life feels like it is too much right now. I need help.

·      I want to hurt myself. I need help.

·      I do not want to continue living. I need help.

·      I need someone to talk to about the thoughts I am having.

 

If we have a mental health diagnosis:

·      The depression is too much right now.

·      The anxiety is overwhelming me.

·      I feel like my medications are not enough right now.

·      Treatment is not enough right now.

·      I am struggling with depression.

·      I am struggling with anxiety.

·      I need an extra therapy session.

·      Life feels like it is too much right now. I need help.

·      I want to hurt myself. I need help.

·      I do not want to continue living. I need help.

·      I need someone to talk to about the thoughts I am having.

 

Notice that the last four are the same in each list. I did that because we can struggle with self-harm and suicidal ideation whether we have a diagnosis or not. In these moments it is especially important that we reach out for help. Asking for help in these moments is a sign of strength even it if we do not feel strong.

How to Prepare for a Mental Health Appointment

                  It helps to be prepared when you talk to a health care professional. Sometimes we are in so much need of help that all we can utter is “I need help.” It is okay. It is enough to just say that we need help. If we can prepare, here are a coup;e things we might want to have ready:

·      A short description of what we are feeling. This helps because when we are in the moment of receiving help, we can lose the words to describe what we are going through. 

·      Any past issues with our mental health or experiences with a mental health care provider. This would include any diagnoses we have had.

 

What Happens When You Talk to a Mental Health Professional

It can be difficult to talk to someone about our mental health. We might be embarrassed, or we might feel like we do not need the help. Being embarrassed by our mental health is common. Society has stigmatized mental health. It is important to remember that the health care professional is there to help us not judge us. Also, remember that if it is affecting us, we do need help. We need to be open and share what we are experiencing with the provider. It might help to tell the provider that we are not sure how to put what we are feeling into words. The health care provider knows what to ask and how to talk to us. If we are experiencing self-harm or suicidal thoughts it is important that we tell them.

We might be asked to fill out a mental health questionnaire or screening tool. This helps the health care provider assess our needs and provide the right care. Fill it out honestly. If we are unsure about a question, we need to ask for an explanation.

Why Seeking Help Early Can Make a Difference

                  It is important to remember that early support can make a difference. If we are struggling, it is important to get support as soon as possible. If we address symptoms early on, we can prevent them from becoming more serious. This can prevent the symptoms from significantly interfering with our lives. This true even if we already have a diagnosis and are receiving treatment. Sometimes changes are necessary. It is important that we share our experiences as soon as possible so that treatment can be adjusted to help us.

                  Another thing that is important to remember is that we do not need to figure out everything on our own. Mental health professionals are out there for a reason. They are there to treat our mental health when we are struggling and to maintain our mental health when we are doing well. Depression and anxiety can make it difficult to function. Anything from problem-solving to decision-making to coping can be hard when we are struggling with our mental health. That is why it is necessary for us to ask for help. When we talk with a mental health provider, we can receive assistance with problem-solving and decision-making. They can help us gain perspective. They can also provide us with coping strategies and support tools. 

                  Asking for help is a sign of self-awareness. It is not a sign of weakness. When we ask for help, we are acknowledging that we know we are struggling. When we are able to recognize and acknowledge our struggles with mental health, we are demonstrating a commitment to our own well-being. It takes insight to ask for help. We do not even need to be aware of the insight or the commitment to well-being. We just need to recognize that it is okay to ask for help.

How Mental Health Treatment Can Help You Heal

                  When we seek support, we find healing. We find that we are not alone. Mental health providers provide insight and understanding. They provide treatment. Through working with a mental health care provider, we gain hope that the struggles we are having with our mental health are not permanent. We gain hope that we can heal. We realize we are not alone, and that treatment exists. This allows us to move forward. 

You Don't Have to Face Depression or Anxiety Alone

                  We do not need to wait until our symptoms of depression and anxiety are severe to seek help. It is okay to ask for help at any stage of our mental health journey. We might recognize early warning signs. That is a good time to seek help. That help might just be an extra therapy session or a quick conversation with a mental health provider. It might be a conversation with a trusted friend. The important thing is that we understand that seeking help is not only necessary, but also okay.

If you are struggling with your mental health, please seek help. 

** Important**

If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or if you are in immediate danger, please reach out to your local emergency service or crisis center. This can be the 988 lifeline or 911. For immediate danger, you should call or have someone call 911. 

988 can provide connection to quick services and has people answering the phone who are trained to talk to those who are struggling and make referrals.

It is always okay to ask for help.

 

 

The Silent Struggles of Depression: Be Proud of Yourself for Surviving

In this post I am going to offer advice to those of us living with depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses. It is advice that can be beneficial to anyone, but I want to stress how important this is for those of us living with mental illness.  While I offer this advice, I recognize that it is not easy to follow. I struggle with this advice myself because of what depression and anxiety say to me. Still, this is important advice. It is simply: Be proud of yourself for surviving all the silent struggles you do not speak about. Let that sit for a minute. 

Whether we recognize it or not, we all have silent struggles. For some of us those struggles are magnified. These are the painful struggles. The ones that reverberate in our minds. But we are here. That is another statement we need to sit with for a moment. Depression has not taken us. It may not have been easy. We have battled silently, but that does not lessen all it has taken for us to still be here.

Depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses are difficult to live with. These illnesses affect more than our mood. They affect every aspect of our lives. Depression and the other mental illnesses can get in the way of our work life. Often, we need to put on a front a work. We wear a façade that says, “I am okay.” We do not let our colleagues or supervisors know about our struggles. Instinctively, we know they would not understand. Some days it is difficult to work when our minds are full of the negativity of depression. I remember days when I was pushing through at work, keeping to myself as depression was telling me that my life was not worth living. That is an example of a silent struggle that we do not speak about. 

As I follow the advice I offered above, I need to be proud of myself for getting through those times. I stared suicidal thoughts in the face and kept working. I say that not for praise, but for my own realization that I should be proud of myself for the hard times I have made it through. I never told my colleagues. Some of them are good friends and maybe I could tell them now, but sometimes our struggles are very private. Our struggles are also painful. Can you imagine the pain that accompanies feeling like life is not worth living while going through the motions at work or in social situations? If you have never been in that moment, I can tell you that it hurts. It is painful. I need to remind myself that as painful as those moments were, I made it through them. There are people reading this post who can see themselves in what I have described. My message to you is to be proud of yourself for getting through the moments you do not talk about. 

Maybe it is in a different environment. Maybe we have sat through a family gathering while depression has told us we do not belong. Or anxiety has told us we are not good enough or that we have not lived up to the successes of other family members. For me anxiety berates me for being the only one without children and for just being a teacher. I find myself trying to push anxiety down. Then when I go home depression decides to pop in and tell me I am not good enough and that everyone in my family is better. It is a silent struggle. No one knows. Well, you know now. What I am getting at is that as safe as family gatherings should be, they can be a source of depression and anxiety for many of us. We need to be proud of ourselves for making it through those gatherings. It takes a strength that others do not see or understand. We silently make our way through situations that others find easy. 

Depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses can impact any area of our lives. They can make getting through the day-to-day aspects of our lives difficult. Others do not always see what we are struggling with because we have learned that it is not safe to let others see our struggle. We may be embarrassed by how mental illness affects us. We need to let go of that embarrassment. Believe me, I know that is easier said than done. I still struggle with this, but I know it is important for us to believe that we are not our depression, anxiety, or other mental illness. Our silent struggles are real, but we have a strength within us that carries us through the tough times. We are still here. Mental illness has not won. For that we can be proud.  So, remember, be proud of yourself for surviving all the silent struggles you do not speak about.

 

How to Support Someone with Depression: The Power of Listening Without Judgment

         I recently read a sentence on social media (Fred’s Fighters) that I feel gets right to the heart of what it means to support someone with mental illness. 

One of the greatest gifts we can give another person is our presence.

                  Let that sit for a moment. To help someone who is struggling with depression, anxiety, or other mental illness, we can support them by simply being present. The “being there” matters more than what you say or even do. How do we do this? How do we allow ourselves to just be present for someone else? 

First, we need to recognize that we do not and cannot fix everything for the person who is struggling. This may look like just sitting next to the person and listening without interrupting. With that in mind, we need to listen to the person without trying to fix them. As a person living with depression and anxiety, there are times when I would like someone to just listen to me. In these moments I am not looking for answers or a fix to the depression and anxiety. I just want to be heard. I want what I am experiencing to be recognized. Sometimes just knowing a friend or family member is with me is enough to build that feeling of safety that I need to work through the depression and anxiety.

I see this modeled by my mental health providers when they listen without interrupting. They allow me to express what I am feeling or thinking before they speak. They allow moments of silence. These can be important because it allows processing time. When there can be silence and we still know we are not alone, it means the other person is really present for us. Of course, mental health professional needs to interrupt the silence and offer support and intervention, but they model being truly present. We can learn from this.

Being present for another person means believing the person without questioning. This is where we remove judgement. If a person says something like “life doesn’t seem worth living”, do not judge them. This is a real feeling, a real experience. Instead, being present means listening to what the person has to say. We need to give the person our full attention. We can reflect on what they are saying. We might say something like, “It sounds like you are carrying a lot.” This lets the person know that are hearing that they are struggling or that things are difficult for them. Avoid phrasing it like a question. Someone who is really listening reflects on what the other person is saying without questioning or judging..

When we are being present, we also want to validate the other person’s words and feelings. As we listen, we might say, “That sounds very difficult” or “I can see why you feel that way.” We can validate without judging. It is important to let the person know we believe their thoughts and feelings are real. Being present means hearing what the other person is saying and then letting them know you are really hearing them and not judging them. This requires us to sit and just listen first. Give the person the time they need to express what they are experiencing. That is being present. As we validate someone’s thoughts or feelings, it is important that we do not minimize those thoughts. The feelings and thoughts are real. They feel heavy to the person. That heaviness should be respected, not minimized.

What about support? How do we support the person as we are being present?  First, we should offer support without taking over. We can do this by saying something like, “How can I support you right now?” or “What would be most helpful from me right now?” It is important to let the person have control over the support they are given. This means respecting that they know what type of support they need in the moment.

What if the person seems hopeless or is expressing a desire to hurt themselves or take their life? This is where being present means ensuring the person is connected to mental health professionals. One way to do this is to ask the person if there is away for them to contact their mental health professionals. Encourage them to reach out to trusted mental health professionals. If the person is in danger or if you think they are going to follow through on thoughts of self-harm or suicide, help them contact emergency services. This might be the 988 lifeline or 911. Always stay present with this person if they are in danger of harming themselves. Maintain the aspects of being present discussed above and keep the person safe until they can receive support from mental health or emergency professionals. 

When we are being present for a person with depression, anxiety, or other mental illness, it is important to remember that we do not need to have all the answers. We want to allow the person to feel heard, respected, and accepted while they are experiencing depression, anxiety, or other manifestations of mental illness. Being present for another person is a gift. On the surface it may sound like a difficult thing to do, but it really comes down to being kind. It is treating another person the way we would want to be treated. We can be present for each other if we let go of preconceived notions and accept the other person for who they are. This means letting go of judgement and replacing it with openness. None of us are going to be perfect at this, but the more we try, the better we will be at being present for others. Think about what a gift it is to simply be present with another. 

 

 

How Art Helps Depression and Anxiety: Ways Creativity Can Improve Mental Health

        I never thought of myself as being good at art. I am sure my I was terrible at art as a child. I do not remember having confidence in doing anything art related. My attempts at drawing were criticized. A strange thing has happened as I have learned to search for ways to cope with depression. I discovered art. 

                  As I have found art helping me cope with depression and anxiety, I have wanted to learn more about how art helps and different ways I can engage with art. I thought I would share what I have discovered. Art is a tool and a craft. It can be a passion and a distraction. Art can be anything we want it to be. 

                  Creating art and appreciating the arts can help us cope with depression and anxiety. It is important to note that art does not replace mental health treatment. Art can be a useful coping tool when we are struggling or even to keep us doing well. We can add art making and appreciating art to our mental health toolkits.

How Does Art Help with Depression and Anxiety

There are several ways that art helps with depression. Here are a few:

·      Provides Emotional Expression: Art, in its many forms can help us express our emotions when we cannot find the words. Often, expressing emotions can be difficult when we are struggling with depression or anxiety. Art can provide alternate ways to express emotions. Whether it is drawing, painting, sculpting, writing, music, dance, and other forms of art all invite us to express ourselves. Sometimes art allows us to express emotions that are difficult to express in words. 

·      Reduces Stress in the Moment: When we focus on doing art there is a shift in our attention. We can escape the emotions or stresses we are experiencing because of depression or anxiety. We can escape into a painting projects or lose ourselves in a drawing. The thoughts, worries, or feelings of depression or anxiety do not necessarily disappear, instead they take a backseat to whatever we are creating. 

·      Create a Sense of Accomplishment: When we complete even a small art project, we feel a sense of accomplishment. It might be something as simple as a quick drawing or pouring paint on a canvas. We can see what we have created, and this allows us to feel like we have done something. When our motivation is low, it can help to see ourselves making progress on something. 

·      Encourages Mindfulness: When we are engaging in artistic activities, we pay close attention to colors, sounds, textures, and movement. Focusing on these can interrupt thought patterns that are common with depression and anxiety, such as rumination and negative thought patterns. This is a part of mindfulness.

·      Builds Connections: When we engage in art sometimes, we are drawn to share our art or take art classes. This can reduce isolation. We might go to a Paint Nite or go to the local craft store. We might find enjoyment and connection in going to an art exhibit or a concert. 

·      Helps People Understand Themselves: We may find that we understand aspects of our emotions when we look at our art. We may find patterns that help us understand something about ourselves. We may recognize emotional patterns, personal strengths, or changes in mood that we do not recognize in our day-to-day routines. 

 

Process of Creating

                  Using art to help with mood or anxiety is not about the finished product. It is more about the process. It is about how we feel as we are creating. We might simply create art for the sake of creating it. We can focus on how a particular art medium feels in our hands or what it feels like to doodle on a page. 

                  I have a sketchbook that is just for drawing circles in different patterns when I am feeling anxious or need to calm myself. I focus on drawing the circles in a set pattern. This takes away pressure to have a perfect finished product. 

                  Simple activities such as doodling, taking pictures, molding a piece of clay, or practicing an instrument can be calming and distracting. The practice is the important thing is engaging in an art activity. Let’s look at some simple ways we can engage in the process of creating.

                  Simple Ways to Create

·      Doodling for ten minutes

·      Coloring in a coloring book

·      Make a collage using magazine pictures and stickers

·      Journaling – maybe add some sketches

·      Work with clay or play dough

·      Take photos of things you find interesting

·      Pour paint over a glass jar (there are pouring paints for this)

·      Paint a paint by number canvas

·      Crochet or knit

·      Embroider a small square every day

 

We may need to learn some of these forms of art. That is a good thing. Learning a new skill helps us build confidence and encourages us to engage in something. If there is an art form we would like to learn, we can probably find a video or tutorial on YouTube to guide us. We can also venture out to our local craft store if we are up to it.

No Judgement

You do not have to be great at art to benefit. The process is the important part. We are not looking for masterpieces. We can just enjoy the act of making. As we enjoy the process, we will gain benefits from the art. It can be relaxing, distracting, or just fun. The important thing is not to stress over the art. We want to enjoy what we are making. No one is going to judge our art. We can decide if we share it with others. Our art is for us. 

 

Personal Experience

                  As I mentioned, in my younger years, I did not feel like I was good at art. I avoided most art activities. The exception would be writing, but I did not realize writing was art until much later. 

                  My introduction to art came a few years ago when a friend took me to a Paint Nite. I was not sure I would like it, but I wanted to spend time with my friend. So, we went. I followed the teacher’s instructions. It was fun. At the end of the night, I had a painting I was proud of. Slowly, I started trying painting on my own. Eventually, I discovered paint pouring and fell in love with it. Watching the colors mix soothes me and helps ease the anxiety. Now, I try to find time to paint whenever I can. Sometimes it is hard to motivate myself when I am feeling depressed, but I try. I actually enjoy the practice of art, and I am improving. I am branching out into drawing and coloring. Maybe I will try other art forms. I do not create masterpieces in any way, but I enjoy the practice of making art. I like gifting my art even if my art does not meet masterpiece standards.

                  I recognize the benefits of art in my life. It is now a tool in my coping strategies toolkit. I encourage you to give art a try. You may find that you like it and can add it to your coping strategies toolkit.

 

Mental Health Disparities: Why National Minority Mental Health Month Still Matters

July is recognized as National Minority Mental Health Month. In some areas it is referred to as BIPOC Mental Health Month. For the purposes of this post, I will use National Minority Mental Health Month because that is the name it was established as. It is also the name NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Health) uses. NAMI includes Bebe Moore Campbell in the name. More on her later. National Minority Mental Health Month is intended to recognize the unique mental health experiences, challenges, and strengths of people from racial and ethnic minority communities. At the same time this month encourages equitable access to mental health care. 

                  July was formally recognized by the U.S. Congress as National Minority Mental Health Month in 2008. The month also recognizes Bebe Moore Campbell. She was a writer and advocate who worked to reduce stigma and improve access to culturally responsive mental health services. As a result of Bebe Moore Campbell’s work, conversations about race, family, and mental health entered the mainstream. She worked in Black communities to reduce stigma surrounding mental illness. Her work included several books. Bebe Moore Campbell worked to make mental health care compassionate, accessible, and responsive to diverse communities.

                  Before I discuss ways that we can get involved to help reduce stigma and make mental health care accessible and culturally responsive for diverse communities I want to share some personal experiences. As a white woman I have privilege that others may not have. Mental health care has always been accessible to me as an adult. I did not have access to mental health care as a teenager, but that was more a reflection of the time and ignorance of the adults in the school system at the time. My point is that I do not need to worry about receiving the care I need. I have the insurance to cover the costs of my care and treatment. I have the financial means to pay for what insurance doesn’t cover. I am fortunate. That fact is not lost on me. It is part of why I am so grateful to my mental health care providers. Of course, my providers are amazing as well. Is that part of my privilege? I do not need to rely on care from government funded providers. I have the best of the best. That being said, I cannot overlook the struggles of others. As someone who has access to the mental health care I need, I feel I should make efforts to help others. 

                  I have witnessed stigma and the lack of access to culturally relevant mental health care or any mental health care. As a teacher in the inner city for almost 30 years, I have seen students from diverse backgrounds struggle with their mental health. I have seen them face a lack of mental health care. Often, the only mental health support they receive is from a school counselor, who is overworked and responsible for more than the mental health of students.

                  I remember going with a school counselor to a government funded office to try to get services for a five-year old with childhood schizophrenia. I remember waiting in a long line only to fail to get the services in place. This little boy needed help so badly. Yet the support he was given laid mostly in my hands as a special education teacher and a school counselor. His parents were young, from a minority group, and had no resources. They had no way to fight for better services for their child.

                  Countless times I have had to reach out to school personnel when a student expressed suicidal ideation or made direct statements about taking their lives. Often, an administrator who had less training than me would take the student to their office. Sometimes the student would be taken on a psychiatric hold, but often the parents would be called and told to follow up with care. The thing is the parents were given no direction, no contacts for support. They had no access to resources. Other times the student would simply return to class. The administrator deeming there was no crisis.

                  One last story from my teaching experience. I had a student who was of Hispanic background. He was in the class for students with emotional disturbance that I taught. He was 18. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia but was not receiving care. His parents knew he was struggling but they feared asking for support. They were not citizens, and they feared that if they tried to push for services for their son, who was a citizen, they would be detained or sent back to the country they left. I remember the father would come every day to talk to me. We did what we could. We tried to help their son. There was a specialized counselor who came once a week to talk to my students. It did not help. He and my other students would make fun of the young, white counselor who did not “get” them. I remember them referring to her as a dead fish. The counseling lacked cultural relevance and awareness. 

                  Then I started noticing my student’s symptoms worsening. He was laughing inappropriately at odd times. I could actually see him experiencing visual and auditory hallucinations. Several times I reached out to the school’s psychiatric social worker, who would call the district’s emergency psychiatric unit. Each time she was told they would not come to the school because my student was “not in crisis”. I was helpless as I watched his hallucinations worsen. I was left wondering if my student lived in one of the more affluent, less diverse areas of the district, help would come to the school without waiting for him to be in crisis.

                  One morning he came into the classroom in crisis. He was suicidal and suffering from the symptoms of his schizophrenia. This time the psychiatric unit said they would come but we would need to wait for them to get there. That wait was about three hours. A student in crisis was left alone with me and assistant for hours before mental health care providers came to take him to a psychiatric unit. Again, I wondered if he hadn’t been a minority in a low socio-economic area, if things never would have reached this point. 

                  My point in sharing these experiences is to show how being a minority can affect the mental health care a person receives. I have witnessed it firsthand. The disparity is real. The disparity is unfair. The disparity is wrong. I am sure my examples are just a couple of countless incidents that minorities face when in need of mental health care.

                  What I have shared is part of the reason we need this month and why we need to work to improve access to mental health care in minority communities. It shows how racial discrimination, racism, and other social factors can affect access to care. It also demonstrates how financial, geographic, and insurance-related issues can affect mental health care in areas where people from ethnic minority groups live. 

                  My students experienced delays in receiving care. Often, they did not receive high quality care. That is not intended as a criticism of professionals I worked with. They were often not trained as much as was needed. They also had caseloads that were overflowing what any individual should be expected to carry.

What Can We Do?

                  I think one of the most important things we can do to improve access to culturally responsive mental health care is talk about it. We need to use our voices to raise awareness. The more we talk about mental health, the more we improve care. This cannot be done in isolation. We need to reach out into all communities. We can ask questions about how discrimination, language barriers, cultural stigma, and unequal access affect different communities.  We can work with groups such as NAMI to bring resources to diverse and disadvantaged communities. We can bring mental health information into these communities. This might include organizing events such as talks, mental health and wellness fairs, webinars, and community discussions into these communities. NAMI has programs for different communities held in different languages. Encouraging people to attend these events and programs is crucial. It takes more than a sign or post on social media. We need to get out into communities and talk to people.

Representation Matters

                  It is important that people from minority groups who have received mental health care share their experiences. In some groups, there is a stigma attached to mental health and mental illness. If people from these groups who have had positive experiences receiving mental health care can share these experiences, it helps to break down the stigma. It is important that we amplify the voices of mental health professionals, advocates and people with lived experience from underrepresented communities. It makes a difference to hear from people who are like oneself. 

                  Holding mental health fairs in these communities with people from different minority groups participating as leaders can make a difference. Again, NAMI gets out in the community and has diverse participants, leaders, and programs. 

                  We can also promote mental health careers in schools with underrepresented populations. A career fair at a high school is a great place to encourage students to go into mental health careers. 

Check-In on Others

                  One of the most important things we can do is to check in on others. This includes checking in on people from diverse backgrounds. Ask others how they are doing. Go deeper than the “okay” that is the response most of us give. Ask what okay means. Then have a discussion. If someone is struggling offer support. Maybe it is just being a listening ear for someone else. We need to normalize talking about mental health in all communities.

Current Times

                  Right now, we are experiencing increased racism in the United States. This makes it even more important that we check in on the mental health of people from racial minority groups. Experiencing racism can seriously impact one’s mental health. All of us should be checking in on others and helping others. This may mean being a listening ear. It may also mean helping someone find accessible, culturally responsive mental health care. The 988 Lifeline would be a good starting place. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is another resource.        

Not Just July

                  It is important to support the mental health of people from underrepresented minority groups throughout the year. July is an opportunity to increase our efforts, but this work should never be limited to one month. Every person deserves accessible, high-quality, culturally responsive mental health care. We need to keep working until that becomes the norm.

I know there is more that I can do in this area. Can you? Awareness is where change begins, but action is what makes equitable, compassionate mental health care a reality for everyone.

Depression Recovery: Why Small Victories Matter More Than You Think

Depression is difficult to live with. Depression affects our motivation, our energy levels, our concentration, our decision-making skills, our self-care abilities, and our feelings of accomplishment. With any or all these things being affected by depression, it can be difficult to experience success in the way society tends to view it. For many of us with depression, it is important that we adjust how we define success.

Healing, or recovery, can be difficult to define because they can look different for each person. Healing can even look different for the same person at different times in their life. One thing we need to avoid when we discuss healing is absolutes. Healing does not mean the depressive symptoms are completely gone. Healing is a process. Since it is a process, we need to recognize the small victories in the healing process. 

Why Small Wins Matter in Depression Recovery

                  Small victories are the little things we notice as depression is lifting. A victory might be getting out of bed in the morning. It might be going 24 hours without a suicidal thought. It might be engaging with a friend. Small victories are the steps that show depression is lifting. One way I know I am coming out of a depressive episode is that I see more color in the world around me. Another way I know I am healing is I isolate less. These are small things on their own, but when look at them through the lens of the healing process, they are important. 

                  There have been times when even the small things have seemed impossible for me. When depression is at its worse, I struggle to function. Simple self-care activities are difficult. Keeping my house clean becomes difficult. I set something down and don’t have the willpower to put it where it belongs. Making a meal for myself can be difficult. There have been times when just washing a couple dishes or washing a load of laundry is an accomplishment. It may seem silly to think of one of these activities as a victory, but it shows how difficult depression can make our lives. 

                  I have been lucky that despite depression ravaging my life, I have been able to work most of that time. Many people are not as lucky. There have been days when just walking in the door at work has been a success for me. Unfortunately, I cannot say that depression has not impacted me at work. The days, even the moments when I have been able to function enough to work effectively are successes.

A Simple Exercise to Recognize Your Progress

                  If you are reading this and you live with depression, I want you to try something. Look at your life. Write down five small things that are difficult for you because of depression. There may be more, but let’s start with five. You can add more later. Next to each one, write what it looks like when you accomplish it. Then I want you to write an equal sign (=) after each description. After each description write the word “victory”. Keep this paper where you can easily access it to remind that you can achieve victories. It does not need to be all five at once. Maybe it is just one today and a different one tomorrow. The important thing is recognizing the small victories over depression. 

                  If you are reading this and you do not live with depression, I want you to go back and read that last paragraph. Now, make a list of small things you do without thinking about it. These are your small victories. The difference is these do not require the same effort from you. What if you could not do these things? What if something as seemingly simple as taking a shower was difficult for you? What if returning a text message took effort from you? This is what life with depression is like. 

Small Victories Add Up

                  Small victories add up. They add up at different paces for each of us. We may have setbacks. We made do more on one day than another. We may have days when depression knocks us completely out and we do not do anything. All this is okay. It is part of the healing process. 

I think one of the important parts of healing is recognizing that it is a process. It is actually a lifelong process because depression is an illness. For most of us it is more than just passing episode. I try to remember that there are going to be times when I am doing well and there are going to be times when I struggle. To do this I need to remain focused on the small victories. For example, having a conversation with the techs when I receive TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) or esketamine, is one way I measure my small victories. If I can have a conversation, I know I am improving. I know I am less depressed. 

Depression makes life tough. Those of us who live with it must be tough. We may not recognize how tough we are. That is because depression screams the opposite it in our heads. The truth is we work hard to do the small things. We deserve to recognize these accomplishments. We also need to know that small victories add up. As we do the small things, we increase our ability to do harder things. By focusing on the small things, we can fight our way back into life. We can fight depression and be well. This does not mean we will not fall back into the darkness of depression at times, but if we focus on the small victories, we can keep ourselves on the healing journey.