World Suicide Prevention Day 2025

        September 10^th is World Suicide Prevention Day. The theme for this year is “Changing the narrative on suicide”. This theme is intended to address harmful myths and stigma. It calls for more open and compassionate conversations about suicide. Suicide is something people are often uncomfortable talking about. That is precisely why we need to talk about it. The World Health Organization (WHO) states that “Changing the narrative on suicide” is “…about shifting from silence and misunderstanding to openness, empathy, and support — creating environments where people feel able to speak up and seek help.”

 According to WHO, suicide claims the lives of 720,000 people every year. The CDC reported that in 2023 there were 49,316 suicide deaths in the United States. These losses affect family and friends. Suicides also affect communities. The loss of any life to suicide is tragic and painful. That pain doesn’t go away. It may dissipate, but it is always present in some way. 

It is important that we discuss suicide and suicide prevention today and every day. We cannot ignore the fact that people are suffering and choosing suicide. We need to call for suicide prevention and mental health to be a priority in our communities, our country, and our world.

When I think about changing the narrative on suicide, I picture having discussions and sharing written works. I see social media posts and blog posts. I see people having conversations even when they are uncomfortable or painful. This is what needs to happen. We need to allow ourselves to be uncomfortable. People who are having suicidal thoughts are in pain. They are suffering. I think we can withstand some discomfort to work to prevent suicides and ease their pain.

Often, when someone dies by suicide, we hear people say that they didn’t know the person was thinking about suicide. They say there was no warning. But there are warning signs. This is why we need to talk more about mental health. We need to discuss mental health in our homes, in our schools, and in our workplaces. As a teacher I believe that mental health needs to be a part of school curriculums from a very young age. If we start talking about mental health with people when they are young, we normalize it. Hopefully, normalizing mental health will make it easier for people who are struggling with their mental health and those who are having suicidal thoughts to reach out for help. It will also, hopefully, lead to people be more comfortable asking someone if they are okay. Being willing to discuss mental health and suicide can make a difference.

I have lived with suicidal thoughts and been on the edge of taking my life throughout my life. For many years I did not know I could discuss how I was feeling or the suicidal thoughts I was having. It wasn’t until I learned to talk more openly that I found myself on the path to healing. This is how the narrative on suicide was changed for me. I hope that others can experience this change, which is why I use my voice now. If this blog encourages one person to reach out for help, it will have made a difference. That’s how we change the narrative, one life at a time. 

There is more help for people living with mental health disorders and suicidal thoughts now, but it is not enough. We need to work to create more avenues to provide support. We need to call on our governmental leaders to take action and fund mental health initiatives. Changing the narrative also means working to silence negative voices such as RFK, Jr. who is spreading damaging ideas. My personal action to change the narrative includes continuing to be voice for mental health action on this blog and with my involvement with groups like NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). I am going send emails to RFK, Jr. and others in the federal government explaining what mental illness is and is not. What can you do? Just reading this blog is an action step. Having one conversation about mental health is an action step. Think about what else you can do. 

I would like to end this post on a personal note. I share this in part to express gratitude and in part to demonstrate how conversations have changed and made a difference. 

As I have mentioned before back when I first started experiencing suicidal thoughts as a teenager there wasn’t much help. Mostly I dealt with it on my own. I discovered writing and wrote to help myself. But there was a counselor I owe a debt of gratitude to. She walked beside me at times. I realize now that she was strapped by the limited resources of the time. It wasn’t that my struggle with mental health and my suicidal thoughts were ignored as much as the help just didn’t exist back then. Conversations about mental health were not normal during that time. The counselor was there in the ways she could be.  Today the help I received would have looked much different. Still, somehow, I lived through those early years because the counselor did what she could. I would like to express my gratitude to her. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to find her now to say thank you. I guess I can only send my gratitude out into the universe and hope somehow in some way she feels it.

The narrative on mental health and suicide has changed in the nearly 40 years since I was a teenager living on the edge of the darkness. Thankfully, the narrative has made a positive change. But we need more. We have a lot of work to do. The number of deaths by suicide that WHO reports needs to be decreased. We need to make it okay to say, “I am not okay.” We need to make it okay to listen when others are struggling. We need to make it normal to discuss mental health. Together we can change the narrative on suicide.

 

If you are struggling, please reach out. You can call 988 or 911. 

 

Can Gratitude Change Your Life?

                  Gratitude is something that oftentimes gets lost in the world. We need to find a way to make it more present. Gratitude allows us to bring joy into our lives. It allows us to heal from the wounds that impact us. Gratitude lets us see the world and the happenings in our lives from a different perspective.

                  With a little research I found six ways that gratitude impacts mental health. Let’s take a look.

                  First, gratitude can reduce stress and depression. The practice of gratitude has been found to reduce levels of cortisol, a hormone that can increase anxiety and contributes to depression. Gratitude shifts focus away from negative thoughts, reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. In people who regularly practice gratitude, there are reports of fewer symptoms of rumination.

                  Gratitude improves mood and emotional well-being. It boosts dopamine and serotonin which are neurotransmitters linked to happiness and well-being. Gratitude encourages a more positive outlook and helps people reframe challenging situations.

                  A third benefit of gratitude is enhancing relationships. Expressing gratitude strengthens social bonds and increases relationship satisfaction. Expressing gratitude fosters mutual trust and emotional intimacy. 

                  Gratitude increases resilience. When people are grateful, they tend to cope better with trauma and hardship. This comes from building a habit of focusing on what is going well even when times are difficult, which enhances emotional resilience.

                  A fifth way gratitude impacts mental health is by improving sleep. Research has indicated that the practice of gratitude journaling before bed is associated with better sleep and reduced insomnia. When positive thoughts fill the brain, it pushes out anxieties and helps the brain calm down. 

                  Finally, gratitude promotes self-esteem. One way it does this is by reducing social comparisons. Gratitude encourages people to shift their focus to what they have rather than what others have. The practice of gratitude leads to a stronger sense of self-worth and contentment. 

                  I try to recognize the things I am grateful for in life. When I am expressing gratitude, I feel a shift in my mood. Sometimes it is slight. Other times it is very moving. There are many ways to express gratitude. It can be done with words, both spoken and written. It can be done with gifts of appreciation. Gratitude can also take place in quiet reflection. I find myself reflecting on things I am grateful for in my journal. For me the written word holds my emotions and feelings. Placing my gratitude on the page immortalizes it. The words have become etched on the page. They are there for me to return to when I need a lift or a reminder of what is good in my life.

                  I have a friend, Robert, who messages me his gratitude list every morning. His lists remind me to be grateful. His joy and appreciation for life are apparent in his list. This encourages me to search for joy and recognize what I am grateful for. I know I should make a daily list and send it to him. That is a goal I have set for myself. 

                  Let me share a few things I am grateful for in life. First and foremost, I am grateful to be alive. Cancer and mental illness have threatened to take my life, but they haven’t won. I am grateful to my mental health and physical health teams for keeping me healthy. I am grateful for my family and friends. I am grateful to be able to share with everyone on this blog. It gives my writing a purpose and gives me a place to freely express what I have learned about mental illness. I am grateful that I have been able to return to work and that the position I returned to has been so great. There are many more things I could share, but I think what I have shared illustrates how gratitude can change a life.

                  Bringing this post back to the theme of the month (Suicide Prevention Awareness) I am grateful that I have survived the darkest moments of my life, the moments when suicide seemed like the only answer. I am grateful to the people who have brought me back from that edge. These are the people who have embraced me in hope. I think they know who they are. 

                  Gratitude is a gift we give and a gift we receive when we give it. Let’s all take a moment to recognize what we are grateful for in life. We might just find there is more than we realize. Let’s try to give gratitude a chance to change our lives.

 

 

                  

Suicidal Thoughts Can Affect Anyone

                  Suicide Prevention Month is a time to help people who struggle with suicidal thoughts. An unfortunate reality is that suicidal thoughts can happen to anyone. There is no person that is immune to it. Suicidal thoughts are a symptom of an illness. That illness can affect anyone. Suicidal thoughts are painful and often debilitating. No one should have to face suicidal thoughts alone. That is why the awareness raised in months like this and the awareness work of mental health advocates and volunteers in groups such as NAMI is so critical. 

                  People who are experiencing suicidal thoughts need to be listen to. They need support. They need to feel safe reaching out for help. When a person’s thoughts are telling them that their life is not worth living, they need to be heard not judged. These thoughts are real. When a person shares that they are having suicidal thoughts their intention is not to be attention seeking. They are reaching out for help, and they deserve that help.

                  I have lived with suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager. At times these thoughts have been overwhelming and have led me to an edge I could have fallen over. Suicidal thoughts are painful. In my experience, it is difficult to talk back to these thoughts. For a long time, I tried to cope on my own. That was not healthy and led me further into the darkness of depression. These thoughts are real. I am lucky to have a mental health team that I can turn to in these times. It is for this reason that I work to raise awareness about the difficulties associated with mental illness. I want to help others find the help I have found. No one deserves to live with suicidal thoughts alone. 

I have learned that my suicidal thoughts are not my fault. That was a difficult lesson to learn. The thoughts are inside our heads. That makes it easy to believe we are at fault. But there is no blaming. There is no fault. Suicidal thoughts just happen. As I mentioned earlier, suicidal thoughts are a part of mental illness. Even with treatment, we can still be impacted by suicidal thoughts because these thoughts are powerful and are sneaky little b****es. They rush in when we are struggling. At other times they creep into our heads. I believe it is important to share our thoughts at times like these. This does not mean to just tell anyone. We need to share with someone we can trust. A mental health provider or a loved one can be vital listeners. If you do not have someone you can turn to, 988 is an important resource. This helpline can connect you with support and the person on the line can support you until you are connected with the appropriate help provider. Another important resource is 911.  If you are in immediate danger, it is best to call 911. 

Everyone deserves support. When we raise awareness about mental health and mental illness, we are making it possible for people to be heard. We are making it possible for people to receive the support they need in times of crisis. Suicidal thoughts should never be dismissed. They are serious and need to be addressed. 

Remember anyone can be affected by suicidal thoughts and these thoughts are not a sign of weakness. No matter how difficult times are or how loud the thoughts are, life is worth living.

 

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help.

 

You can call 988 or 911. NAMI has helplines.

Your primary care provider is also an option. 

If you have a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist shareyour thoughts with them.

You can also go to any emergency room.

Suicide Prevention Month 2025

                  September is recognized as Suicide Prevention Month. It coincides with World Suicide Prevention Day which is September 10^th. This month’ recognition emerged from the establishment of World Suicide Prevention Day by the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) in 2003. The IASP and the World Health Organization (WHO) joined forces to establish this day worldwide. In 2008 September was designated as National Suicide Prevention Month.

                  Throughout this month I will post about suicide. My intention is to bring hope to the darkness of suicide. I realize that this topic can be a trigger. Please read with care and know that there are organizations that can help. If you are considering suicide or are in crisis, please reach out for help. 988 is a helpline that you can reach out to at any time. I will include a reminder that 988 exists to help in every post this month. Not every post this month will be about suicide. That would be too much, but I do want to bring light and understanding to this topic. 

                  Let’s start by defining some terms related to suicide. Suicide is the act of intentionally taking one’s own life. It includes intentionality and is self-directed. A suicide attempt is a self-directed, potentially injurious act where the person intends to die, but survives. Suicidal ideation is the act of thinking about, considering, or planning suicide. Self-harm involves intentionally harming oneself without the intent to die.

                  The language we use when talking about suicide is important. We should not say that a person “committed suicide”. This wording has a negative connotation. It insinuates that the person committed a crime. Instead, we should use phrases such as “died by suicide”. This is more neutral and takes away the idea that it was a criminal action. It takes away the idea that the suicide was the person’s fault. 

                  It is important to understand that suicide is a result of illness. It is not attention seeking. It is not a sign of weakness. Suicide is not selfish. Suicide is a result of mental illness. Suicidal ideation needs to be taken seriously. Intervention is necessary when a person is having suicidal thoughts or expressing suicidal ideation. There is help. As a starting point the following numbers can be contacted: 

 

 

·      In the U.S., you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), available 24/7.

·      In the UK, you can contact Samaritans at 116 123, available 24/7.

·      In Canada, you can call Talk Suicide Canada at 1-833-456-4566.

 

Other important resources include your primary care provider, who can refer you to

mental health providers. If you already have a mental health provider such as a therapist, counselor, psychiatric nurse practitioner, psychologist, or psychiatrist you can discuss your thoughts with that person. You can go to the nearest emergency room. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Organizations such as NAMI have helplines (NAMI Warmlines Directory).

                  If you experience suicidal ideation or have attempted suicide, a safety plan is important. You can read an article I wrote for Recover.com on safety plans here: Creating a Safety Plan for Times of Suicidal Crisis.

                  Suicide Prevention Month is intended to raise awareness and reduce stigma surrounding suicide. This month I hope that I can share information and personal experience that will help others. These posts will be published on Mondays and Thursdays this month. I will mix in some other topics. As I end this post, I want to leave you with the thought that even in the darkest of moments there is hope. Reach out for help if you are struggling. Remember 988 is a hotline that can help you 24/7. 

 

                  

Masks

                “People don’t fake depression. They fake being okay…Remember that. Be kind.”

– Robin Williams

 

                  The above quote by Robin Williams means a lot to me. I remember where I was when I heard that Robin had died by suicide. I was in my psychologist’s office waiting for my appointment. A little television on the receptionist’s desk had the local news on and they announced that he had died. I remember being sad and wondering what had led this man who seemed so happy and spent his life making others laugh to take his own life. 

                  None of us ever really know the pain others go through. We all hold parts of lives inside of us. We all have things we do not share with others even those closest to us. I believe that at times we all consider putting a mask on so that others do not see what we are going through. That mask is often a false positive mask. In other words, we often fake being okay when really, we are struggling. I know I have worn a mask disguising my depression and anxiety often. As I have grown in my understanding and acceptance of my depression, I need that mask less often, but it is still nearby and at the ready. 

                  In the past I had to wear the mask in attempt to hide my depression so that I could function at work or get through family gatherings. Unfortunately, when we live with depression, sometimes we feel like we need to deny it to get by. I have masked my depression when people insinuated that I could “snap out of depression”. Many times, it was easier to escape under the mask than to explain that I could not just snap out of my depression. Of course, this was a bad habit to get into for many reasons. First, it forced me to deny what I was feeling and experiencing. It also gave others a false impression of who I am and what I live with. Another thing wearing a mask did was to perpetuate mental health stigma. Each time I put that mask on I am denying that depression is a legitimate illness. For the most part I no longer use that mask even though it is within reach. I am not ashamed of my depression. It is an illness. People can either accept me with my illness or they can move on. 

                  When we wear a mask to hide our depression, we are faking being okay. No matter how long we wear that mask or how hard we try to mask our depression, it is going to find its way out. The depression will become worse the more we try to hide it. 

                  Back to Robin Williams. Since his death I have read many stories about him. I have learned that he suffered, but did not want his suffering to affect others. He spent his life making people laugh with his movies and other entertainment ventures. What I like best about him is what he did when no one was watching. He would quietly go to hospitals and spend time making kids with serious illnesses smile and laugh. There were never any cameras when he did this. He did not want cameras. He wanted to be fully present for the children. Doctors, nurses, and parents knew the true gift of Robin’s visits. Yes, he was wearing a mask when he made these visits because inside, he was also suffering, but I think making people, especially children, brought him joy. Maybe these visits also brought him some healing. We likely will never know because he kept these visits quiet and did not talk about them. He didn’t need the attention. His sole purpose was to bring joy to children who needed it most. 

                  I have been affected by a few celebrities’ deaths by suicide. It is not the fact that they are celebrities. It is the death; the end of a life that didn’t need to end. We often don’t hear about a suicide unless it makes the news, or it is someone we know. When I hear about someone dying by suicide or struggling with suicidal thoughts, I feel a strange connection. Perhaps because I have been on that edge. Depression has taken me to that edge more times than I would like to admit. I know I have been lucky that I have not fallen off that edge. I think about that when I hear that someone has died by suicide. I wonder if they had worn a mask. I wonder if that mask prevented them from receiving help. 

                  Masks only help others avoid dealing with someone who is struggling. Masks do not help the person with depression. We may feel like we need to wear the mask to get by or to protect ourselves, but in the bigger picture masks prevent us from getting help. 

If others could find it in themselves to be kind to people living with depression life would be easier. More people could reach out for help. Just as important, more of us could be honest about what it is like to live with depression. If we do that, just maybe people could live an easier life with depression and not attempt to end their lives. 

Remember to be kind to others. You do not know what they are going through. Each of us deserves to be treated with kindness. 

It’s Okay to Have Suicidal Thoughts

                  I’ve written about this phrase in previous posts and the phrase is often used on social media, “It’s okay, not to be okay.”  It is an important belief especially when we are dealing with suicidal thoughts. When suicidal thoughts are in our heads it is difficult to find a positive, which can make it hard to believe that what we are thinking or feeling is okay. I have learned that it is okay to have suicidal thoughts. It hasn’t been an easy lesson to learn. In fact, it has taken a lifetime.

                  Suicidal thoughts/ideation are symptoms of an illness. They are not a sign of weakness. I can’t stress this idea enough. For so long I believed that my suicidal thoughts meant that I was weak; that I was a bad person. I thought they meant that I didn’t deserve to live. I am sure I am not alone in these thoughts. When our thoughts become consumed with suicidal ideation, it is difficult to not place blame on ourselves. I, for one, feel isolated and cut off from others. There is a darkness that shrouds me. It prevents me from seeing the light of hope. I believe that I am not okay in these moments. These are all lies created by mental illness. 

                  It has been a struggle, but I have learned that I need to reach out for help when suicidal thoughts/ideation fill my mind. My mental health team has taught me that my life is worth living and that it is okay to reach out in those moments when I am struggling. I have learned to talk about these thoughts. By talking about my suicidal thoughts/ideation, I take away their power. I learn that I am okay. The thoughts are a part of my illness. Talking about them pulls me out of the darkness and allows me to find hope. When I have hope, I have a reason to live. I have realized that it is okay to have these thoughts, but I must reach out in these times. I must understand that I need help to deal with the thoughts. Just like with other illnesses, I need care when the symptoms are present. 

                  The fact that I have suicidal thoughts/ideation at times does not make me a bad person. It does not mean that don’t value my life. What it does mean is that I am hurting. I am suffering from an illness that needs treatment. I urge anyone who is having suicidal thoughts/ideation to reach out for help. You can call someone on your care team, 988, or a loved one. Reach out. You deserve help. It is not your fault that you have an illness. If you are able to, create a safety plan when the thoughts aren’t present or are not as strong. I discuss safety plans in my article on the NAMI Glendale website. I know I have brought this article up in other posts. I bring it up again because I believe having a safety plan is very important. It can save our lives. 

                  It is okay to have suicidal thoughts. The important thing is to reach out for help when those thoughts occur. We need help to prevent us from acting on the thoughts. Needing help is not a sign of weakness. I realize that when we are in darkness of suicidal thoughts it is difficult to reach out. We feel like we are not okay. We feel like we are a burden. Think of it this way, if you were having symptoms of a heart attack, you would call 911. You need to reach out for professional help when you have the symptoms, suicidal thoughts/ideation, of a mental illness. Each one of us deserves that help. We deserve help overcoming our illness. It is okay if you have these thoughts. The important part is what you do in response. Create that safety plan and reach out for help. It’s hard, but in the big picture, it is worth it. 

                  

Hope After Suicidal Thoughts

                 The pain of suicidal ideation is difficult to bear. It shrouds you in darkness. The pain is indescribable. I have been there several times. Each time I believe I won’t be able to escape the pain. Dying seems like the only viable option. I want the pain to end and can’t find any other way. During these times I struggle to let others into my thoughts. I believe no one else can understand. Hopelessness fills me. This is the pain of suicidal thoughts/ideation.

                  I have been lucky. I have found a way back from the edge of death each time. Hope has returned to my life. As I mentioned in an earlier post, the song “Let It Go” by Grace Slick (not the Frozen song) brought me back from the edge of suicide several times as a teenager. I had the opportunity to meet Grace Slick a few years ago. I thanked her for saving my life. She said something I will never forget. With a smile she looked at me and said, “you did that. You were strong.” That was an empowering statement. It made me realized that a part me has wanted to live even in the moments when life seemed to be at its bleakest. I’m still grateful to Grace Slick because her song guided me to find that strength.

                  Suicidal thoughts have followed me throughout my life. I often still turn to “Let It Go” in these times. You can listen to it here: "Let It Go". A song alone is not enough to defeat suicidal thoughts. I need help from mental health professionals. I now have a safety plan that includes reaching out to my mental health team when I am in crisis. They talk to me and help me fight the suicidal thoughts. They ensure that I am safe. They provide the support I need to get through the crisis. I also have a friend I can reach out to when I feel I need support. This is why I have a safety plan. It reminds me of what to do when I am fighting the suicidal thoughts. For more on safety plans read my article How a Safety Plan Can Ease a Mental Health Crisis on the NAMI Glendale website.

                  So, what happens when the crisis is over. How do you continue living after a suicidal crisis? It’s hard to explain how I come back from one of these episodes. It involves hope. Part of returning from the edge of suicide requires hope that I can heal. I think this is something that anyone fighting suicidal thoughts /ideation needs in order to overcome the thoughts. For me hope doesn’t emerge on its own. My mental health team provides me with hope. Often, I have held onto their hope for me as that hope develops in me. Wanting to die is the absence of hope. Therefore, when battling suicidal thoughts/ideation you need hope. Hope is the belief that there is light in our world. Hope is the belief that the suicidal thoughts are lying. Hope is the belief that you can get better. It is important to remember that suicidal thoughts/ideation are symptoms of an illness. With the right treatment we can get better. We need to trust in our care. That requires hope. 

                  Hope does not develop easily. That is why I have relied on the hope my team has for me to give me a push. Once I have held onto their hope it becomes easier to find hope for myself. Having others to help us makes it easier to climb out of the darkness of suicidal thoughts/ideation. When we latch onto their hope for us, we are better able to develop hope on our own. 

What if you don’t have someone to share hope with you? Unfortunately, this is a reality for some people. If you don’t have someone you can turn to, please know that I have hope for you. Know that you can turn to organizations like NAMI. You can call 988 and speak to a trained counselor. If you don’t have a mental health professional, reach out to your primary care provider. They can refer you to a provider who can help. It is important to know that you are not alone. You can find hope even in your darkest moments. 

                  Those of us with suicidal thoughts/ideation are not alone. Too many people suffer with these thoughts. Too many people act on these thoughts. That is why I am spending so much time writing about suicide this month. I know what it is like to be in the darkness. I have been on the edge of taking my life. I don’t want to go back to that edge, and I don’t want others to be on that edge. I encourage you to reach out. There is help and there is hope. 

 

 

 

Suicidal Ideation and Suicide Are Not Signs of Weakness

                   At times there is a misconception that suicidal ideation and/or suicide are signs of weakness. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Suicidal ideation and suicide attempts are symptoms of an illness. Several mental illnesses can include suicidal ideation/attempts as symptoms. They result from the intense pain caused by mental illness.

                  I have been suicidal on several occasions. It is a very painful experience to feel that life is not worth living. This pain stems from the thoughts and emotions caused by mental illnesses. My personal experiences with suicidal ideation are a result of depression. So, as I write this post I am speaking from that experience, but other mental illnesses can lead to suicidal ideation and attempts. I can only speak from my perspective, but I want to emphasize that other mental illnesses are just as painful.

                  My suicidal thoughts began when I was a teenager. I didn’t understand what I was experiencing. I had not been diagnosed with depression at this point. So, I was struggling to get by on my own. Back then there were few, if any, resources for people experiencing suicidal thoughts. 988 didn’t exist. School personnel were not trained to provide assistance and resources. As result, I was left to live with my thoughts of ending my life. I came close several times. I credit a song by Grace Slick with getting me through those times. I used to play “Let It Go”, on my record player. I felt as if Grace Slick was singing to me, calling me back from the edge. I share this story in detail in my book Traveling the Healing Journey: Finding the Light in Mental Illness(available from your local bookstore or Amazon). 

                  When I look back on those times, I remember feeling alone, isolated. I remember having no hope for my life. I felt as if the emotional pain I was feeling would never end. I would “hear” thoughts in my head telling me I would be better off dead. All of this was too much for me as a teenager with no professional support. I believed that suicide was my only escape. I wrote a lot about dying. Most of my writing was poetry. It was very dark and filled with the pain I felt. My suicidal ideation was not a sign of weakness, though. It was a symptom of an illness that I had not yet been diagnosed with. Fortunately, I managed to get through those years without taking my life. I’m not sure how, but I am still here.

                  Being diagnosed with major depression at age 20 did not end my suicidal thoughts. These thoughts don’t magically disappear once our illness has a name. The thoughts are part of the illness for many of us. I still struggle with the thoughts at times 35 plus years after they first emerged. Thankfully, I have learned a lot about my illness since then and I have had the support of mental health professionals. Still, the thoughts can pop into my head without warning. With the help of my mental health team, I created a safety plan for when those times occur. I wrote about safety plans in an article on NAMI Glendale’s website, How a Safety Plan Can Ease a Mental Health Crisis. My safety plan includes when I need to seek help, who I need to reach out to, how I can reach out, and how my contact person can reach those who can provide professional help. 

                  My last major crisis with suicidal ideation was 16 months ago. The thoughts became loud in my head. Those thoughts were not a sign of weakness. They were a verbal expression of the emotional pain I was experiencing at the time. They were a cry for help. The thoughts were also plea for escape. I needed help. Thankfully, I knew to reach out for help. I was provided with the mental health help I needed to ease the symptoms of my illness. I was not treated as if I was weak. I was treated with respect and understanding. I was provided with the treatment I needed.  I was lucky. Not everyone has the resources to get the help needed. The lack of resources leads to high numbers of suicide in the world today. It is important to raise awareness and increase support for mental health resources so that we can provide help.

                  Mental Health First Aid is an important resource. People can be trained in Mental Health First Aid. Click on the link for more information about this important training. I went through the training. I would encourage others to get trained. You never know when you might need to use that training. I saw recent social media posts where singer Jon Bon Jovi and another woman were able to talk a woman out of jumping off a bridge. I don’t know what they said, but they showed that they cared and were able to get this woman safely off the bridge. Would you be prepared if you were in a similar situation? Mental Health First Aid can help you be prepared.

                  When a person considers taking their life or is attempting to take their life, they are not weak. Living takes strength when you have a mental illness. We are strong people who reach a point at which the weight we bear becomes too heavy. Death seems like the answer, but it is not. One person reaching out can make a difference. I am grateful that I have never been able to follow through on my thoughts of suicide. Those thoughts may be something I deal with throughout life, but I want to live. So do most, if not all people, who struggle with suicidal ideation. We just need a little support. Suicide is not a sign of weakness. It is a symptom of a mental illness. It shouldn’t be looked on with derision. Rather, we need people to reach out and provide help. Call the 988 crisis line. Be that person who listens. You may save a life. 

Suicide Warning Signs

                  One way to take action during Suicide Prevention Month is to learn the warning signs that someone may be at risk for attempting suicide. Often, warning signs are overlooked or not seen because suicide is something most people would rather not think about. Sometimes people treat the warning signs as being attention seeking and don’t realize the seriousness of these signs. It is important to know that these signs are not attention seeking and must be taken seriously.

                  Let me start by saying that people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts are not seeking attention. I have been there. I have sat in the depths of suicidal thoughts and in those moments, I have never been seeking attention. I have been suffering and feeling alone, isolated from the world around me to the point that I wanted to escape. So, please don’t believe for one moment that a person who is expressing the warning signs of suicide is just seeking attention. They are in crisis and need help.

                  I defined suicide in my last post (World Suicide Prevention Day Post). “Suicide is when a person harms themselves with the goal of ending their life, and they die as a result.” (the National Institute of Mental Health). A suicide attempt is when a person harms themselves with the intent of dying, but do not die.  

                  The National Institute of Mental Health lists the following as warning signs of suicide:

                  “·  Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill themselves

·      Talking about feeling empty or hopeless or having no reason to live

·      Talking about feeling trapped or feeling that there are no solutions

·      Feeling unbearable emotional or physical pain

·      Talking about being a burden to others

·      Withdrawing from family and friends

·      Giving away important possessions

·      Saying goodbye to friends and family

·      Putting affairs in order, such as a will

·      Taking great risks that could lead to death, such as driving extremely fast

·      Talking or thinking about death often

·      Displaying extreme mood swings, suddenly changing from very sad to very calm or happy

·      Making a plan or looking for ways to kill themselves such as searching for lethal methods online, stockpiling pills or buying a gun

·      Talking about feeling great guilt or shame

·      Using alcohol or drugs more often 

·      Acting anxious or agitated

·      Changing eating or sleeping habits

·      Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.”

 

It can be difficult to know if a person is suicidal, but these warning signs give an

indication that the person is considering it or may be ready to act. A change in behavior or a new, concerning behavior is an indication that there is need to get help as soon as possible.

                  Sometimes it is difficult to know if a person is engaging in some of these behaviors. For example, you may not know someone is stockpiling pills.  I stockpiled pills until I had significant amount, and no one knew. That is why it is important to have conversations with the person if you suspect they might be considering suicide. No one knew about my pills until I felt safe enough to tell one of my mental health providers. In the same way, you may not know a loved one has made a plan to attempt suicide. For that reason, it is important to watch for other signs. Noticing some of the other signs may lead you to finding out that they have made a plan. It is okay to ask a person if they are thinking about or planning to attempt suicide. Some people fear that bringing it up will put the idea in someone’s head. Research shows that it won’t. It is better to have honest conversations if you notice one or more of the warning signs. That will get the conversation started and lead to intervention. 

                  The times I have been asked if I was thinking about attempting suicide, I have been honest. That has led to getting me help. It did not make my thoughts worse or increase my likelihood of acting on my thoughts. Just asking is not enough. You need to get the person help. How do you do that?

                  First, stay with the person. Do not leave them alone. It is important not to tell the person you will keep their thoughts a secret.  You need to get help. Calling 988 for support is a first step. 988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If there is an immediate, life-threatening situation you should call 911. Be sure to tell the person who answers that this is a mental health crisis and involves a possible suicide attempt. 

                  If there is not an immediate threat, 988 is the best option. You can call or text 988. You can also log on to https://988lifeline.org/. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24-hour, confidential support to anyone involved in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. You will be connected to a trained crisis counselor.

                  Today’s world has changed a lot. It is possible that you may learn someone is suicidal on social media. Some of the social media sites have a process to get the person help. You can find information on how to get help on the different social media platforms on the 988 Lifeline website at https://988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/support-on-social-media/.

                  If you are young person reading this, please never keep a friend’s suicidal thoughts a secret. It is important to reach out to a trusted adult if a friend expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions. Even if you are unsure of your friend’s intent, tell a trusted adult. 

                  I am not a professional. I am a person with lived experience. I have lived with suicidal thoughts. I have been in crisis. As I reflect on those instances, I don’t think I really wanted to die as much as I wanted to escape the emotional and mental pain I was experiencing. I needed help. I couldn’t do it on my own. Suicide often seems like the only escape, but suicide is not the answer. There is help available. I am grateful to those who have ensured that I received help over the years. 

                  So, if you see any of the warning signs in someone, take action. Stay with the person and reach out for help. 

 

 

World Suicide Prevention Day

                 September 10^th is World Suicide Prevention Day. This is an important day to me for a few reasons. First, I believe we need to draw awareness to the number of people living with and fighting suicidal thoughts. There are too many people dying by suicide. Another reason is more personal. I have lived with suicidal thoughts for most of my life. I understand the struggle and know the pain. Another reason is that too often people are shocked when a loved one or friend dies by suicide. The warning signs are missed. (Thursday’s post will discuss warning signs.) One more reason is that if we can prevent even one death by being more aware, we are making progress. World Suicide Prevention Day draws attention to seriousness of suicide and the need for more prevention efforts.

                  The slogan for this year is “Changing the Narrative on Suicide.”  There is a call to action to “Start the Conversation” with the aim of “transforming how we perceive this complex issue and shifting from a culture of silence and stigma to one of openness, understanding, and support.” To put this simply we need to talk about suicide in a way that reduces stigma and allows for providing help to those experiencing suicidal thoughts. This includes learning the warning signs and knowing how to get help for someone who is struggling or in crisis. 

                  The need is obvious when we look at the number of people who die by suicide. The World Health Organization (WHO) states that globally there are more than 700,000 deaths by suicide each year. We can’t ignore a number like that. This is where the awareness piece comes into play. We need to be aware that suicide poses a real crisis. When we look at the data in detail, it is heartbreaking to see how many people die by suicide. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, suicide is the second leading cause of death for people aged 10-14 years, 15-24 years, and 25-34. The American Psychological Association stated that 20% of teens seriously considered suicide between 2011 and 2021. In 2021 the National Institute of Mental Health (NIH) reported suicide claimed the lives of over 48,000 people. That number is nearly two times as many as the number of homicides in that same year.

                   There are three definitions we should understand. According to NIH suicide is defined as “death caused by self-directed injurious behavior with intent to die as a result.”

They define a suicide attempt as “a non-fatal, self-directed, potentially injurious behavior with intent to die as a result of the behavior.” Finally, suicidal ideation “refers to thinking about, considering, or planning suicide.”

                  I mentioned that I have a more personal reason for believing that World Suicide Prevention Day is important. I have dealt with suicidal ideation since I was in my teen years. I have been on the edge of attempts. Thankfully, I have been helped in these instances. I wouldn’t be here if the people who helped me hadn’t been aware of suicide. Several times my ideation has been relieved, or my attempts stopped by mental health professionals, but there have been times when a friend or family member has stepped in and made sure I received help. It is the awareness of these friends and family that is important on this day and every day. We need to build more awareness in people. We never know when someone we care about might need help. Awareness that suicidal ideation does not go away on its own, but it is a step in the direction towards making a difference. Knowing how to direct the person toward help is also important. The more aware we are, the more likely we are to be able to make a difference.

                  September 8^th was National 988 Day. 988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone you know is expressing thoughts of suicide this is the number to call. If you are having these thoughts, call this number. You will be provided with the support necessary to get you through the situation and keep you safe. 988 provides judgement-free care. The conversation you have can save your life or the life of someone else. You can call, text, or chat with this line. There is a website, https://988lifeline.org/get-help/. I have a friend who didn’t know what to do when her friend repeatedly expressed suicidal ideation. She asked me what to do. I recommended she call 988 and ask for support. The person who answered was able to get support to my friend’s friend. This was the first step in providing her with help. She is alive today because of the help provided by 988. As we raise awareness about suicide prevention, we should make sure people know about 988. A simple phone call can really save a life. 

                  This month I am going to focus several of my posts on raising awareness about suicide. It is not just my personal experiences with suicide. I have also had students who lived with suicidal ideation. Perhaps living with these thoughts and knowing others who have also lived with the thoughts has made me more aware and allowed me to understand the importance of awareness. While September 8^th was 988 Day and September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day, the whole month of September is set aside as Suicide Prevention Month. A month is not enough to raise the awareness we need to raise, but it is a start. My posts this month might make some people uncomfortable because I am going to discuss suicide. It is a topic people try to pretend doesn’t exist, but it does exist. I have experienced the pain of suicidal ideation and attempts. I know firsthand that awareness makes a difference. I apologize if I make you uncomfortable, but sometimes to help another person, we need to step outside of our comfort zones.  Let’s do everything we can to increase awareness about suicide. We never know whose life we are saving in doing so. 

Ask the Question

                  September is Suicide Awareness Month. It is a month we try to raise awareness about suicide and how many people are affected by suicidal thoughts. This cannot be limited to one month, but we need a platform to raise awareness. So, a month of awareness activities is beneficial.

                  Today I am going to focus on checking in on friends and family. Many people live with depression and suicidal thoughts in silence. When you look at them you don’t see the struggle they are living with. That is because many of us learn to put on a mask. This mask hides the depression and suicidal thoughts. Whatever our reason for hiding, we are hurting on the inside. Maybe we hide because we don’t want others to worry. Maybe we hide because we don’t think others will understand. Maybe it is a fear that we will lose our jobs. I have hidden my depression and thoughts for each of those reasons. 

                  Even though we try to hide our depression or suicidal thoughts, there are signs. There is usually some sort of change in us or something out of the ordinary that a loved one can pick up on. That is why I urge people to check in on their friends and family. Ask the question! It is a simple question, “Are you okay?” When you ask this question, don’t just accept “yes,” “I’m okay,” or “I’m fine.” Follow up. Ask them if they are really okay. Don’t let the person just blow you off. If you have seen a change in the person or noticed that they seem different, be persistent in checking on them.

                  I’ll share from my own experience. When my depression starts to increase, I often try to hide it from others. I don’t want others to worry. When I was working, I feared that if anyone knew I how much I was struggling, I would lose my job. For these reasons, if I was asked how I was doing, I always replied with “I am fine.” Usually that was the end of the discussion. Most people accept that as an answer. Unfortunately, often I wasn’t fine, and I needed help. The only people who didn’t accept my answer were the people on my mental health team. What if a friend or family member had pushed me to give more of a response? What if someone had asked “Are you really okay?” What if they had said “I have noticed you seem down?” or “I noticed you are keeping to yourself?” It likely wouldn’t have stopped my suicidal thoughts, but it would have been an opening to let someone in. It might have pushed me to seek out my mental health team sooner. 

                  It is important understand that often people with depression or other mental illnesses don’t want to be a burden on others. We don’t want others to see our struggle. But if you let me know that you see I am struggling and that you won’t just accept my answer that I am fine, I am more likely to open up. I am more likely to get help. 

                  When you ask these questions, you are not expected to solve the problem. You do not need to have the answers or know exactly what to do. Just being there is important. Be aware of changes in the behavior of others. It could be an indication that the person is struggling and in need of support. 

                  People who die by suicide often seem fine, but if we really pay attention, there are signs.  I am reminded of the actor, Robin Williams. People were shocked when he died by suicide. He was always so funny. People thought he was happy, but he was struggling with depression. He hid it well. None of us knew until it was too late. He masked his depression by trying to make others happy. There is no way of knowing if someone could have prevented his death and I am not going to make assumptions. I just use him as an example of someone who masked his depression and suicidal thoughts. We need to check in on all our friends and family. Ask people how they are doing and really listen to their answer. I know this is not going to prevent every suicide, but if checking in on someone saves one life, it has made a difference. 

                  So, this month and every month, check in on others. Have conversations with friends and family. Share your emotions and encourage them to share theirs. The more we really listen to each other, the more aware we will be aware of how each of us is doing. This is just one step to reducing the number of deaths by suicide, but it is an important step. It is a step each of us can take.