Self-care is important when we live with mental illness. Our self-care needs can vary. For that reason, it is helpful to have a tool kit that we can provide us with options. Often, we need activities that we can do on our own. With mental illness there are times when we just need to work through things on our own. There are other times when the presence of others can be useful. In this post I am going to share ideas to create a toolkit of your own.
The self-care activities we select can depend on how we are feeling. When we are having difficult days or have low motivation, we are going to have different needs than on a day when we are not as impacted by our mental illness. Let’s look at some self-care activities.
On the hard days we are likely to need activities that we can do on our own. The focus of these days is to just provide some structure or stability. They are not about productivity.
Self-Care Activities for the Hard Days
· Try doing one basic care activity: take a shower, brush your teeth, change clothes
· Try a comfort ritual: drink a cup of hot tea, hold a stuffed animal or blanket
· Use the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory activity: Name five things you can see, name four things you can feel, name three things you can hear, name two things you can smell, and name one thing you can taste.
· Practice a breathing exercise.
· Use gentle media: watch a familiar show, listen to part of a favorite audiobook, listen to calming music
· Engage in basic body care: do gentle stretches, use a heating pad, take a hot shower
· Journaling without pressure: only write what you can. Maybe it is just once sentence or a couple bullet points. Even writing “Today has been hard.” Is helpful.
It is important to remember that during the hard times, the times when we feel like we cannot do anything, just making an effort to do something small is big. On these hard days our motivation is often low and doing something that others would see as simple, can take enormous effort. Be kind to yourself. (For more on low motivation, read my post: Battling Low Motivation When You Have Depression
Self-Care Activities for the Moderate Days
· Try something creative: color a page in an adult coloring book; draw or doodle; play an instrument or listen to music; engage in a favorite craft; journal or write something that makes you feel good
· Engage in a mindfulness practice: try a guided meditation; do a body scan (move through your body looking for spots of tension); do yoga even if it is just for 5-10 minutes
· Expose yourself to nature: sit by an open window; sit outside for a bit; go for a short walk
· Work on processing your emotions: track your mood (ask yourself what you are feeling and how it is affecting you); work on a therapy worksheet; write a letter you don’t send
· Create a To-Do list and do one activity from the list
When our mood is in that middle space, we are often able to do small things. The key is to make an effort. Even if you only do one thing from the above list, you are helping to improve your mood. Once you do one thing, you may find that you can push yourself a little.
Self-Care Activities for When You Are in a Better Place
· Engage in movement: go for a walk; swim; dance; go to the gym – do whatever feels good for you
· Try a building a new skill: learn something new – Maybe it’s learning a new language on an app like Duolingo or learning to paint on a canvas by watching a how-to video on YouTube. You might try making a new recipe.
· Set personal goals: make a vision board; write down your glimmers, the things that go well, bright spots or positives (For more on glimmers read my post: A Glimmer Jar for 2026
· Engage in self-compassion – Intentionally do something kind for yourself. It might be eating a treat or giving yourself a hug. Maybe you look in the mirror and say, “I am worthy of love.”
Often, when our mood is in a better place it is easier to engage in self-care. It is important to practice self-care activities during these times. Doing so will help us know what activities we can turn to when we are struggling. It builds the ability to engage in self-care.
There are times when we want others involved in our self-care activities. There are different levels of social connection. It is important to recognize how much connection you are ready for. It is okay if you need to keep the connection to minimum. Move into more connection as you are ready. You do not need to push it.
Activities That Involve Low Pressure Social Connection
· Parallel presence: Sit with someone while doing different things. The idea is to not be alone.
· Text a friend or family member: You do not need to talk on the phone or in person to engage with another person. Just reaching out in the form of a text, or even an email, is an effort at communication.
· Hang out with your pet. Pets are great companions. They seem to understand what we need from them. Just sitting next to your dog or cat can boost your mood and make you feel less alone.
· Engage in an online community or support group. It could be a group with a common interest, or it can be a support group based on your mental health needs. In a group like this, you can just listen without speaking if that is what you need.
The idea with these activities is to make a small step toward engagement with others. The effort provides a bit of connection. That connection can provide a mood boost and enable you to feel less isolated.
Activities That Involve Active Connection
· Have a conversation with a trusted person about how you are really feeling.
· Therapy or counseling: talk to your therapist or counselor about what you are feeling. Discuss your needs and make plans for using your self-care toolkit.
· Engage in an activity with someone else: You can go for a walk with a friend. Play a game with someone. Watch a movie of or television show with someone. Do something in nature with someone else like a walk on the beach or a hike in a local mountain area.
· Do a mindfulness activity with someone else: Maybe it is a breathing exercise with someone else. You can try doing yoga together.
In these activities you are gently moving into connection with another person. This can feel hard. That is okay. Take your time with it. Let the other person know how you are feeling. It helps to have a trusted friend or family member who understands the importance of these activities for you.
Activities That Provide Purpose and Belonging
· Join a support group: Support groups link you with others who are living with similar issues. It provides an opportunity to discuss how you are feeling or what you are going through with others who get it.
· Volunteer: Find a group that engages in something you value. Start slowly. You do not need to commit to long hours. Maybe you start by giving an hour a week. You can increase the time as you feel up to it.
· Join a group that shares an interest you have. This could be based on something creative, a hobby, or be faith-based.
When you are ready for more engagement these activities can help keep your mood in a positive place. They provide engagement with others and motivation to be involved in something.
It is important to remember that self-care activities are only part of how we work on our mental health. These activities will not cure our mental illness. Rather, they are meant to help us cope. Depending on where we are at with our mental illness, we will have different needs. A self-care activity may work one day and not the next. That is okay. Often, we need to try more than one activity to find the right one. It is okay if you do not have the motivation to engage in one of these activities. In these moments give one of the self-care activities for the hard days a try. Even the effort to try one is beneficial.
You may want to write out a plan with some of these activities listed on it. When we are struggling, it can be hard to remember what is in our self-care toolkit. Having a written resource to refer to can help. Maybe keep the list in a journal or on a notepad by your bed. You can keep the list on your phone. Any place that you are likely to be able to refer to it will work.
Self-care is an important aspect of taking care of our mental health. I encourage you to try some of these strategies. If you have other self-care ideas, please add them in the comments section. You might help somebody.
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