Sometimes having depression makes it difficult to keep up with the things I would like to keep up with. Right now, that is happening a lot. Such is life with depression. I missed something last week that I should have posted about. September 25th was National Psychotherapy Day. Therapy has been an important part of my mental health journey. So, even though I am a few days late, I want to discuss therapy. There are so many aspects of therapy that I can discuss, but I will keep it to a few here and then spiral back to the topic of therapy in future posts.
Therapy Doesn’t Mean You Are Broken
First, it is important to know that going to therapy is not a sign that we are broken. Sometimes it is tough not to think that needing therapy means that something is wrong with us. Afterall, therapy is a treatment for mental illnesses. Here I think it is important to stress that having a mental illness means that we have health condition, not that we are broken.
In therapy we can work through the symptoms of our mental health disorder under the guidance of a mental health professional. We learn coping strategies and are guided in utilizing these strategies. We are given space to discuss what is causing us to struggle. We receive help coping with the weight of mental illness. This help is important because there is a stigma surrounding mental illness that tries to tell us that we are broken because of something we did. The stigma tells us we should be able to handle things on our own. Stigma lies to us. It lies to anyone who will listen. Going to therapy is not a sign that we are broken. It is sign that we have the strength to understand that we have an illness and are willing to receive the mental health care we need to deal with our mental illness.
Therapy Isn’t About “Fixing” You
Once we understand that going to therapy does not mean we are broken, we can begin to understand that we are not being “fixed” in therapy. Therapists do not have magical powers that make our mental illness magically disappear. Therapy is a safe space where we can talk through our experiences. In therapy we learn to understand patterns, process emotions, develop coping strategies, and build a different relationship with ourselves. There is no magic wand waved over us. Therapy requires work from both the person participating in therapy and the therapist.
For some people short term therapy is enough. Others need it long term. Both are okay. I have been in therapy all my adult life. I am still discovering things about myself. I still benefit from working through the darkness of depression and the weight of anxiety. I know I need the support of my psychologist (therapist). At times he is a sounding board and allows me to talk through whatever is weighing on me. Other times he provides the guidance to help me process what I need to get through or to understand emotions that are coming up for me. My psychologist helps me separate what I am going through and how it makes me feel from who I am. We both work. No magic wand has ever been wayed. Together all this has allowed me to navigate life with a mental illness. I have not been “fixed”. Rather, I have been provided with the skills and abilities to be myself.
Therapy Can Feel Uncomfortable at Times and That Is Okay
Therapy is not always easy. It requires work that we sometimes are not ready or able to put in. A therapist can guide us through these times. There are times where we just need to be heard, but what we need to say might be heavy. It might be difficult to find the words we need to express something. A therapist will listen actively, reflect to us what we need hear, and provide strategies for coping with the situation. The therapist might need to say things that are hard to hear. They might need to guide us through something that is painful. Often, the only way to overcome something is to go through it.
There have been times when I have cried in therapy. There have been times when I have expressed emotions that required significant support. In these times, I could not hide from what I was going through. I had to listen to my psychologist explain something or provide a breakdown of what was happening within me. As much as I would have liked to crawl back into my shell and avoid things, my psychologist has pulled me through these times rather than allow me to slip around them. At times I have been in my darkest depths going into a therapy session. I needed the therapy process to bring me to a point where I could function safely on my own. That is uncomfortable. The thing about therapy is that we need to know going in that there will be times when we are uncomfortable, times when we want to give up. In these moments we need to trust our therapist and trust the process. We also need to trust ourselves and know that therapy is the right place.
Showing Up for Therapy Is Brave
Sometimes the bravest part of therapy is simply showing up. Let me say that again, sometimes the bravest part of therapy is simply showing up. This is important. We do not need to have any answers going into therapy. We do not need to always have the words to explain what we are feeling or what we need. We can go into therapy scared. We can go into therapy overwhelmed and exhausted. We can go into therapy believing we cannot continue. The important thing is just showing up. It is brave to show up for therapy. While therapy asks us to do work, sometimes we just need to be in that space. Our therapist can provide the guidance. We just need to get there. The bravest thing we can do when the weight of a mental illness is bearing down on us is to show up for therapy. This true whether our symptoms are mild or have reached a serious level. The brave thing is saying, “I need help and I am willing to show up for therapy.”
Final Thoughts
National Psychotherapy Day (Throughout this post I refer to therapy as being synonymous with psychotherapy) is time to recognize the work we do in therapy and the mental health professionals who provide therapy. Going to therapy does not mean we are broken or in need of fixing. It is a brave step we can take to heal. More people need to understand this. That is how we will break the stigma that surrounds going to therapy. Going to therapy when we have a mental illness or need support should be as normal as going to a doctor when we have a physical illness or injury.
For National Psychotherapy I would like to recognize and thank my psychologist. He has guided and supported me through so much. I know he knows how important he is in my journey. Still, I would like him to know how much I appreciate him. I have also received therapy form my psychiatrist and two psychiatric nurse practitioners. All three are a part of my mental health journey and I am grateful to them.
If you are going to therapy, maybe take a moment to recognize your therapist and to say thank you. If you are inclined, you can do it in the comments and then give them the link to this post. Be sure to tell them to read the comments if you comment.
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