“Broken Crayons Still Color”

     Have you ever heard the saying, “Broken crayons still color”? It is a powerful statement and one worth exploring. 

I am a broken crayon. Mental and physical illness have left me broken, somehow not whole. But you know what? I still color. My brokenness does not define me. It does not stop me from living. My brokenness does not leave me discarded at the bottom of the box.

 In reality, I am a collection of different crayons, some broken, some whole. Some days my colors are vibrant. Other days my colors are more muted. To be honest, my colors are muted more often than they are vibrant. I have learned to live in this way. It is part of living with depression. Sure, it can be hard to function when I feel like my colors are muted. I would venture to say that many people with depression have similar experiences. Depression is difficult. There are moments when we do not want to continue fighting the darkness of depression. It is in those moments that we need to try to remind ourselves that even our broken pieces have worth. Even our broken pieces bring color into the world.

What matters is not how bright or how muted our colors are, but that we still color. We can still find ways to engage in life, even when it is difficult. That engagement may be slight, but even a little piece of a crayon still colors. In the same way even a little piece of us has value and is filled with hope. When we engage in life, we leave colorful marks upon the pages of our lives. 

I think everyone has some broken pieces no matter how together they appear on the outside. We are not less because we have broken pieces. We can grow from our brokenness. We can take the lessons learned from our broken pieces and use them to continue coloring. This allows us to live. 

So, I may have more broken crayons than whole crayons. That is okay. I would rather have broken crayons than no crayons. I am here and I am living life the best way I know how.

Despite having some broken crayons, my life still has meaning. When you live with depression, it is often difficult to feel like your life has meaning. It is a very dark feeling to believe that your life does not have meaning. But the way I try to view it is that even though pieces of me are like broken crayons, those pieces leave color on the page. That color is the meaning in my life. 

If you are struggling with your own broken crayons, try picking up a piece and coloring. You will be surprised at the image you create. Even if the colors are muted, they are still a sign of your resilience. 

 

Just as an interesting aside, I read that several crayons (Crayola) are retired. In 1990 these colors were retired: Blue Gray, Lemon Yellow, Maize, Orange Red, Orange Yellow, Raw Umber, and Violet Blue. In 2003 Blizzard Blue, Magic Mint, and Mulberry were retired. Dandelion was retired in 2017. Anyone else remember coloring with some of these now retired colors? 

Note: “Broken Crayons Still Color” is a children’s book by Toni Collier and Whitney Bak. It is also a quote from Trent Shelton, a former NFL player who is now a motivational speaker.