Depression and Therapy: Why Going to Therapy Doesn’t Mean You’re Broken

           Sometimes having depression makes it difficult to keep up with the things I would like to keep up with. Right now, that is happening a lot. Such is life with depression. I missed something last week that I should have posted about. September 25^th was National Psychotherapy Day. Therapy has been an important part of my mental health journey. So, even though I am a few days late, I want to discuss therapy. There are so many aspects of therapy that I can discuss, but I will keep it to a few here and then spiral back to the topic of therapy in future posts.

 

Therapy Doesn’t Mean You Are Broken

            First, it is important to know that going to therapy is not a sign that we are broken. Sometimes it is tough not to think that needing therapy means that something is wrong with us. Afterall, therapy is a treatment for mental illnesses. Here I think it is important to stress that having a mental illness means that we have health condition, not that we are broken.

In therapy we can work through the symptoms of our mental health disorder under the guidance of a mental health professional. We learn coping strategies and are guided in utilizing these strategies. We are given space to discuss what is causing us to struggle. We receive help coping with the weight of mental illness. This help is important because there is a stigma surrounding mental illness that tries to tell us that we are broken because of something we did. The stigma tells us we should be able to handle things on our own. Stigma lies to us. It lies to anyone who will listen. Going to therapy is not a sign that we are broken. It is sign that we have the strength to understand that we have an illness and are willing to receive the mental health care we need to deal with our mental illness. 

 

Therapy Isn’t About “Fixing” You

            Once we understand that going to therapy does not mean we are broken, we can begin to understand that we are not being “fixed” in therapy. Therapists do not have magical powers that make our mental illness magically disappear. Therapy is a safe space where we can talk through our experiences. In therapy we learn to understand patterns, process emotions, develop coping strategies, and build a different relationship with ourselves. There is no magic wand waved over us. Therapy requires work from both the person participating in therapy and the therapist. 

For some people short term therapy is enough. Others need it long term. Both are okay. I have been in therapy all my adult life. I am still discovering things about myself. I still benefit from working through the darkness of depression and the weight of anxiety. I know I need the support of my psychologist (therapist). At times he is a sounding board and allows me to talk through whatever is weighing on me. Other times he provides the guidance to help me process what I need to get through or to understand emotions that are coming up for me. My psychologist helps me separate what I am going through and how it makes me feel from who I am. We both work. No magic wand has ever been wayed. Together all this has allowed me to navigate life with a mental illness.  I have not been “fixed”. Rather, I have been provided with the skills and abilities to be myself.

 

Therapy Can Feel Uncomfortable at Times and That Is Okay

            Therapy is not always easy. It requires work that we sometimes are not ready or able to put in. A therapist can guide us through these times. There are times where we just need to be heard, but what we need to say might be heavy. It might be difficult to find the words we need to express something. A therapist will listen actively, reflect to us what we need hear, and provide strategies for coping with the situation. The therapist might need to say things that are hard to hear. They might need to guide us through something that is painful. Often, the only way to overcome something is to go through it. 

            There have been times when I have cried in therapy. There have been times when I have expressed emotions that required significant support. In these times, I could not hide from what I was going through. I had to listen to my psychologist explain something or provide a breakdown of what was happening within me. As much as I would have liked to crawl back into my shell and avoid things, my psychologist has pulled me through these times rather than allow me to slip around them. At times I have been in my darkest depths going into a therapy session. I needed the therapy process to bring me to a point where I could function safely on my own. That is uncomfortable. The thing about therapy is that we need to know going in that there will be times when we are uncomfortable, times when we want to give up. In these moments we need to trust our therapist and trust the process. We also need to trust ourselves and know that therapy is the right place. 

 

Showing Up for Therapy Is Brave

Sometimes the bravest part of therapy is simply showing up. Let me say that again, sometimes the bravest part of therapy is simply showing up. This is important. We do not need to have any answers going into therapy. We do not need to always have the words to explain what we are feeling or what we need. We can go into therapy scared. We can go into therapy overwhelmed and exhausted. We can go into therapy believing we cannot continue. The important thing is just showing up. It is brave to show up for therapy. While therapy asks us to do work, sometimes we just need to be in that space. Our therapist can provide the guidance. We just need to get there. The bravest thing we can do when the weight of a mental illness is bearing down on us is to show up for therapy. This true whether our symptoms are mild or have reached a serious level. The brave thing is saying, “I need help and I am willing to show up for therapy.”

 

Final Thoughts

            National Psychotherapy Day (Throughout this post I refer to therapy as being synonymous with psychotherapy) is time to recognize the work we do in therapy and the mental health professionals who provide therapy. Going to therapy does not mean we are broken or in need of fixing. It is a brave step we can take to heal. More people need to understand this. That is how we will break the stigma that surrounds going to therapy. Going to therapy when we have a mental illness or need support should be as normal as going to a doctor when we have a physical illness or injury. 

            For National Psychotherapy I would like to recognize and thank my psychologist. He has guided and supported me through so much. I know he knows how important he is in my journey. Still, I would like him to know how much I appreciate him. I have also received therapy form my psychiatrist and two psychiatric nurse practitioners. All three are a part of my mental health journey and I am grateful to them.

            If you are going to therapy, maybe take a moment to recognize your therapist and to say thank you. If you are inclined, you can do it in the comments and then give them the link to this post. Be sure to tell them to read the comments if you comment. 

National Psychotherapy Day

                  Yesterday was National Psychotherapy Day. It is celebrated yearly on September 25^th. Psychotherapy is an integral part of the treatment mental health disorders.  I have benefited greatly from psychotherapy over the years. Let’s take a look at what psychotherapy is and the role it plays in mental health care.

                  Psychotherapy dates back to the 9^th century. Purposeful and theory-based psychotherapy was first developed by the Persian physician and psychological thinker, Rhazes. According to Psychiatry Online, Rhazes combined psychological methods with physiological explanations. His use of psychotherapy was primitive, but it was the beginning of the field. He was director of a hospital in Baghdad where he established a special section of the hospital to treat people with mental illnesses. He is credited with the first instances of psychiatric aftercare. It is believed that he also started the first psychiatric consultation service in a general hospital. 

                  Today psychotherapy is defined as “variety of treatments that aim to help a person identify and change troubling emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.” (National Institute of Mental Health, NIMH). Psychotherapy takes place in a one-on-one setting with a licensed mental health professional. It can also take place in a group setting. 

                  Psychotherapy is used to treat different mental health disorders. It has helped me in my lifelong battle with depression and anxiety. It has given me space to learn about my illnesses and how to live with them. Psychotherapy has also provided me with a space to talk about what I am going through and how my mental illnesses impact my life. I am lucky to have been with the same psychologist for a long time, which has provided me with consistency and sense of familiarity. Being with the same provider has also allowed me to feel safe as we work on my mental health. I am grateful for all I have received through psychotherapy.  

                  According to NIMH there are several elements to psychotherapy. These include assisting a person to gain awareness of automatic ways of thinking that are inaccurate or harmful. Once there is an awareness psychotherapy helps the person question those thoughts and understand how the thoughts affect their emotions and behavior leading to change in self-defeating behavior patterns. Psychotherapy can assist a person in identifying ways to cope with stress and developing problem solving strategies. It can assist with social and communication skills. Learning to apply mindfulness and relaxation techniques can be a part of psychotherapy. A psychotherapist might help a person track emotions and behaviors to raise awareness of their impact on each other. Psychotherapy can provide supportive counseling and assist a person in exploring troubling issues and receiving emotional support. A psychotherapist might also help a person create a safety plan to help with self-harm or suicidal thoughts. 

                  There are different types of psychotherapy. It may take a few tries to find the approach that works best for an individual. Regardless, psychotherapy can be an integral aspect of the treatment of a mental health disorder. NIMH is a good resource for learning about the types of psychotherapy that can be useful for different disorders. You can also talk to your mental health provider about what they use and/or recommend for you. If you don’t have a mental health provider, start by having a conversation with your primary care provider. 

I believe, and I think most providers would agree, that psychotherapy is a commitment. It requires the patient to be willing to work on improving how they deal with their condition. When we are in psychotherapy, we must be honest and open. It doesn’t work if are not willing to do the work necessary to control our mental illness.

                  For me psychotherapy has been a lifeline. I am grateful beyond words for my psychologist and the treatment/support he provides. As I stated earlier it takes work. Commitment is required from both the individual and the provider. The work is not always easy. I have struggled at times, but I know the work is worth it. Psychotherapy is a part of my lifetime treatment. I need to work on my mental health to function in a healthy way. This is true for anyone with a mental health condition. Our illnesses don’t magically disappear. I liken it to someone with a health issue such as diabetes. A person with diabetes must watch their diet, they need to exercise and take medication or insulin throughout their life. When you a mental illness you need to take similar steps throughout your life. Psychotherapy is one of those steps. 

                  For National Psychotherapy Day I want to thank my psychologist and all who provide psychotherapy. You make a difference.

Benefits of Therapy for Depression

         Depression is a real illness.  It requires treatment. Therapy is an important part of that treatment.  There are different types of therapy.  Some of types of therapy include cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, humanistic therapy, integrative therapy, and interpersonal psychotherapy. In this post I will speak about therapy in general terms.  I will be referring to forms of psychotherapy or talk therapy.

The purpose of psychotherapy is to help a person identify and change troubling emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.  This is usually done in a one-on-one setting.  The provider is a licensed mental health provider such as a therapist or psychologist.  Therapy can take place in group settings as well.

I have engaged in therapy most of my adult life.  Psychotherapy has helped me develop coping skills and allowed me to better understand the shifts in my mood that are beyond my control.  I find that my mood improves when I am able to discuss the events and emotions that lead to my depression.  In therapy I am guided to understandings of my thoughts.  When I have a better understanding of what my thoughts are telling me, I can cope better.  I find that just having an open and safe space to talk is beneficial.  

So, what are the benefits of psychotherapy?  There are many benefits.  These benefits depend on the person and what he, she, or they need.  Some common benefits include:

·      Improving overall mental health

·      Increasing self-awareness

·      Developing coping strategies

·      Developing healthier communication strategies

·      Confronting anxiety

·      Getting through a crisis

·      Developing healthy relationships

·      Navigating trauma

·      Easing of symptoms

 

All these benefits are important.  Improved overall mental health will lead to

improved quality of life and easing of symptoms. When we increase our self-awareness, we better understand what triggers us and what leads to changes in our mood.  Developing coping strategies is important because it teaches us how to function when our mood is trying to drag us down.  Healthy communication strategies allow us to express what we are going through, which can help loved ones understand us and offer help.  Developing healthy relationships is tied to this communication skills.  When we experience depression, it is difficult to maintain relationships.   Therapy can help in this area by providing us with communication skills and self-awareness. 

                  Therapy is especially important when we are in crisis or trying to navigate trauma.  Having a psychologist or therapist gives a person someone to reach out to in times of crisis.  In therapy we can learn strategies to take when we are in crisis.  For example, I have learned how identify that I am crisis and how to contact my psychologist in moments of crisis.  I have also learned that resources such as 988 are available as well.  Being in therapy has allowed me to develop an understanding that reaching out for help, whether it be from my mental health team or 988 is not only important, but it is okay.

The benefits of therapy can be instrumental when living with depression.  We cannot overcome depression on our own.  Therapy is a key part of healing.  Some people benefit from short-term therapy.  Others need it throughout their lives.  For me therapy is as necessary as my blood pressure medication.  I need therapy as a routine part of my life.  It is a part of my healthcare.  I don’t miss my therapy sessions because I know it affects my healing. 

                  People often say just deal with it, buck up and be strong.  There are social media posts that encourage people to just push through.  We are told to smile or just get through it.  Depression does not respond to that mentality.  It is not possible to just grin and bear it.  People with depression need treatment and part of that treatment is therapy.  Going to therapy needs to be normalized.  We go to the doctor when we have the flu or other illness.  In the same way that going to the doctor is normal, we need to make it normal to go therapy.  The stigma that exists around going to therapy needs to be lifted.  It is okay to go to therapy.  Therapy is necessary treatment for people with mental illnesses such as depression.  

                  Today there are avenues to therapy that didn’t exist a few years ago. Many therapists are available for online sessions.  There are therapists’ groups who advertise on social media.  In addition, primary care providers can refer you to a therapist.  If you are affected by depression, therapy can provide you with many benefits. There is no shame in going to therapy. I wouldn’t be able to write posts or maintain this blog if it were not for therapy.  Therapy has improved my quality of life.  I encourage anyone who is struggling or even just needs some help to seek out therapy.