One way to take action during Suicide Prevention Month is to learn the warning signs that someone may be at risk for attempting suicide. Often, warning signs are overlooked or not seen because suicide is something most people would rather not think about. Sometimes people treat the warning signs as being attention seeking and don’t realize the seriousness of these signs. It is important to know that these signs are not attention seeking and must be taken seriously.
Let me start by saying that people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts are not seeking attention. I have been there. I have sat in the depths of suicidal thoughts and in those moments, I have never been seeking attention. I have been suffering and feeling alone, isolated from the world around me to the point that I wanted to escape. So, please don’t believe for one moment that a person who is expressing the warning signs of suicide is just seeking attention. They are in crisis and need help.
I defined suicide in my last post (World Suicide Prevention Day Post). “Suicide is when a person harms themselves with the goal of ending their life, and they die as a result.” (the National Institute of Mental Health). A suicide attempt is when a person harms themselves with the intent of dying, but do not die.
The National Institute of Mental Health lists the following as warning signs of suicide:
“· Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill themselves
· Talking about feeling empty or hopeless or having no reason to live
· Talking about feeling trapped or feeling that there are no solutions
· Feeling unbearable emotional or physical pain
· Talking about being a burden to others
· Withdrawing from family and friends
· Giving away important possessions
· Saying goodbye to friends and family
· Putting affairs in order, such as a will
· Taking great risks that could lead to death, such as driving extremely fast
· Talking or thinking about death often
· Displaying extreme mood swings, suddenly changing from very sad to very calm or happy
· Making a plan or looking for ways to kill themselves such as searching for lethal methods online, stockpiling pills or buying a gun
· Talking about feeling great guilt or shame
· Using alcohol or drugs more often
· Acting anxious or agitated
· Changing eating or sleeping habits
· Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.”
It can be difficult to know if a person is suicidal, but these warning signs give an
indication that the person is considering it or may be ready to act. A change in behavior or a new, concerning behavior is an indication that there is need to get help as soon as possible.
Sometimes it is difficult to know if a person is engaging in some of these behaviors. For example, you may not know someone is stockpiling pills. I stockpiled pills until I had significant amount, and no one knew. That is why it is important to have conversations with the person if you suspect they might be considering suicide. No one knew about my pills until I felt safe enough to tell one of my mental health providers. In the same way, you may not know a loved one has made a plan to attempt suicide. For that reason, it is important to watch for other signs. Noticing some of the other signs may lead you to finding out that they have made a plan. It is okay to ask a person if they are thinking about or planning to attempt suicide. Some people fear that bringing it up will put the idea in someone’s head. Research shows that it won’t. It is better to have honest conversations if you notice one or more of the warning signs. That will get the conversation started and lead to intervention.
The times I have been asked if I was thinking about attempting suicide, I have been honest. That has led to getting me help. It did not make my thoughts worse or increase my likelihood of acting on my thoughts. Just asking is not enough. You need to get the person help. How do you do that?
First, stay with the person. Do not leave them alone. It is important not to tell the person you will keep their thoughts a secret. You need to get help. Calling 988 for support is a first step. 988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If there is an immediate, life-threatening situation you should call 911. Be sure to tell the person who answers that this is a mental health crisis and involves a possible suicide attempt.
If there is not an immediate threat, 988 is the best option. You can call or text 988. You can also log on to https://988lifeline.org/. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24-hour, confidential support to anyone involved in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. You will be connected to a trained crisis counselor.
Today’s world has changed a lot. It is possible that you may learn someone is suicidal on social media. Some of the social media sites have a process to get the person help. You can find information on how to get help on the different social media platforms on the 988 Lifeline website at https://988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/support-on-social-media/.
If you are young person reading this, please never keep a friend’s suicidal thoughts a secret. It is important to reach out to a trusted adult if a friend expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions. Even if you are unsure of your friend’s intent, tell a trusted adult.
I am not a professional. I am a person with lived experience. I have lived with suicidal thoughts. I have been in crisis. As I reflect on those instances, I don’t think I really wanted to die as much as I wanted to escape the emotional and mental pain I was experiencing. I needed help. I couldn’t do it on my own. Suicide often seems like the only escape, but suicide is not the answer. There is help available. I am grateful to those who have ensured that I received help over the years.
So, if you see any of the warning signs in someone, take action. Stay with the person and reach out for help.