A Boost from Affirmations

                  In the past if you had told me to repeat some affirmations, I would have blown you off. I might have humored you and then ignored your suggestion. However, over the last several years life experiences have taught me that affirmations can go a long way to improving my mental outlook on life. 

                  The past several years have been filled with health, both mental and physical, challenges for me. I have battled severe depression and anxiety. There have been times when suicidal thoughts roamed freely in my head. As if my struggles with mental health were not enough, I battled stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. It is obvious that there have been a lot of negatives in my life. Those negatives impaired my ability to think positive. Thinking positively has never been easy for me. My health struggles made it worse. 

                  I want to share something I have learned. It may seem like an inconsequential thing. It may seem like bulls***.  As I said, I was not a believer in this until it was forced upon me. Thinking positively and focusing on affirmations can allow us to heal and to find wellness. Let’s take a look at what affirmations are and how using them can lead to positive thinking.

                  Affirmations are positive, declarative statements that someone repeats regularly to reinforce a desired belief, mindset, or outcome. They can be used to shift thinking patterns, build confidence, and reduce negative self-talk. Usually affirmations are personal (using “I am” or “I have”), in the present tense, and positive. 

                  Based on this definition, affirmations sound simple enough to use. When using affirmations, we need to be consistent. This means we need to use them repetitively. As we repeat them more often, our belief in the affirmation will build. This leads to another key point. We need to believe in the affirmation. It is okay if takes time to build up that belief. If we start with being open to the belief in the affirmation, we will eventually grow to believe in it. Another key is to stay in the present. We should use “I am” instead of “I will”. This keeps us grounded in the present. One more key is to avoid negatives. An example would be to say, “I am healthy” instead of “I am not sick”. 

                  Here are some ways that affirmations can be used effectively: 

·      Daily repetition: repeat the affirmation out loud, silently, or in writing every day. Good times to do this are first thing in the morning or before going to bed. 

·      Mirror work: repeat the affirmation while looking in the mirror. Repeating the affirmation in this way builds and emotional connection between yourself and the affirmation.

·      Journaling: Writing affirmations in a journal reinforces belief in them through writing and repetition. This strengthens neural pathways.

·      Meditation or visualization: Try repeating the affirmation while visualizing a goal. This engages both the mind and the body.

·      On the go: Sometimes we need to repeat an affirmation in a stressful situation. In this way, the affirmation serves as a mental reset. An example might be repeating “I am capable” before a public speaking event.

·      Audio or Apps: Some people find it beneficial to listen to affirmations being repeated on a recording. Listening to the affirmation is a way to reinforce the affirmation. 

·      In therapy or coaching: A therapist or coach might guide a person through affirmations that are chosen to address a person’s particular needs. Sometimes this method is used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to reframe distorted thinking.

     I have found that two of these ways are particularly helpful for me. I try to repeat certain affirmations on the go. For example, when I recognize that I am getting caught up in a negative thought pattern, I try to use an affirmation to break the pattern. If my anxiety is telling me that a pain is a sign that my cancer has returned, I try to repeat the affirmation, “I am okay.” Sometimes I add on something about my last test results being normal. Repeating this helps break up the negative, doomsday thoughts that roam freely in my mind. Another way I use affirmations is in journaling. I will often write out affirmations so that I am making them more concrete. I say them silently as I write them. Sometimes this action leads me into writing a poem or other piece. I also write affirmations as intentions before I have esketamine treatment. This writing action sets a positive intention for my mind to work on during and after treatment.

                  Now that we know what affirmations are, here are some examples of helpful affirmations:

 

v I believe in myself.

v I deserve good things. 

v I am enough just as I am.

v I am safe.

v I am loved.

v I am healing

v I am calm.

v I can handle this.

v I radiate confidence, self-respect, and inner harmony.

v I trust myself to make the right decisions.

v I am okay.

v I release what I cannot control.

v I am calm, centered, and in control of my thoughts.

v I am stronger than any obstacle.

v I give and receive love freely and joyfully.

 

    These are just examples. An internet search can produce more. You can create your own based on your needs. One that I use often is from a song that has always been important in my life. It is three simple words, “Let it go.” This affirmation reminds me to let go of whatever I am struggling with or whatever is weighing on me. 

                  I would like to see if we can add to the affirmation list. If you an affirmation that is effective for you, write it in the comments section so that others can read it and possibly use it. 

                  Affirmations are an effective tool for dealing with mental and physical health challenges. They are also helpful with basic life challenges. Repeating affirmations can reframe our thoughts leading to more positive thinking. As we develop more positive thinking, we can find healing or improvement in our lives. Affirmations are not perfect. Nothing is. Affirmations are useful and can make a difference because they provide us with a script to help us through difficult times. The positive nature of affirmations allows us to practice positive thinking. We can all use more positive thinking in our lives.

Anyone can use affirmations. Give them a try. Affirmations might make a difference in your thinking. 

 

 

                                    

The Importance of Giving Yourself Grace

                 As someone with a mental illness I am often inundated with negative thoughts. My depression and anxiety know how to talk to me to bring me down. I know I am not alone in this. It is not just those of us with mental illness who are faced with negative thoughts or mental put-downs. Everyone faces these thoughts at times. I am sure even the most confident people sometimes have negative thoughts. 

                  In a recent post I discussed the inner critic. (Silencing Your Inner Critic) It is important to talk back to the inner critic. However, that is not the only thing we need to work on. We need to give ourselves grace. The dictionary defines grace as a disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency. When we treat ourselves with grace, we are kind and courteous to ourselves. We are lenient with ourselves. Sounds like it should be easy, right? For many of us, it is not. 

                  How do we develop the ability to show ourselves grace? It requires practice. We are not going to be able to treat ourselves with grace overnight. Many of us have had years of practice with the inner critic in our ear. Our minds have told us all that is wrong with us or all that we cannot do. Many of us have been told these same things by others. As a result, our minds are accustomed to the negative. Hearing a kind word comes as a shock. 

                  One way to start giving ourselves grace is to practice saying affirmations. We need to continuously affirm ourselves. Some affirmations that are helpful in providing grace include:

·      I’m learning to be gentle with myself.

·      It’s okay to be a work in progress.

·      I release the need to be perfect.

·      I give myself permission to feel, heal, and move forward.

·      I am worthy of love and compassion, even when I stumble.

·      I treat myself with the same kindness I offer to others.

·      I honor myself, even if the results aren’t perfect.

·      Every step forward, no matter how small, is progress.

·      My best today is enough.

 

These affirmations carry a lot of weight and can help us in many ways. They canremind us that growth takes time and kindness. They encourage patience and acceptance of where we are at the present moment. These affirmations allow us to let go of unrealistic standards. When using these affirmations our emotions are validated. They reinforce unconditional self-worth. That is key. So often we lose our sense of self-worth, especially when we are struggling. When we have unconditional self-worth, we can practice self-compassion.

                  Grace is a little word, but it contains so much power. If we can learn to give ourselves grace, we are better able to face life and all that it places in front of us. We need to practice being kinder to ourselves. I have always struggled with giving myself grace. The negative thoughts always seem to be on standby, ready to attack. What if I could answer those thoughts with one of the above affirmations? What if you could? How much better would we feel? 

                  Giving grace to others often comes naturally. Maybe not for everyone, but for most of us giving grace to others is something we are able to do. I have often heard it said that we need to treat others as we would treat ourselves. Unfortunately, that is a misleading statement. So many of us do not treat ourselves well. We would not want to treat someone else with the negativity and harsh comments that we hurl upon ourselves. Maybe that statement could be rewritten to say, “Treat yourself and others with grace.” I thought about adding “that you deserve” to that statement, but I think that would lead many of us into thinking we do not deserve grace. 

                  Take a moment to repeat one of the above affirmations in your head five times. How did that feel? For me it felt a bit strange, but also soothing. It will take practice to get used to treating ourselves with grace, but it is important that we develop this ability. I encourage you to use these affirmations. You can also find others online by doing a search for positive affirmations. Practice saying them. Write them down if that helps you. Put them on sticky notes and place them somewhere you will see them every day. 

                  I leave you with this thought: We are all worthy of grace. We are all worthy of kindness, courtesy, leniency, and compassion. 

Affirmations for Anxiety

                  Anxiety affects many people.  It can show up in different ways and at any time.  It is more than just a temporary nervousness.  Anxiety interrupts a person’s ability to carry out daily activities. It is a diagnosable mental illness.  Anxiety impacts a person’s functioning. 

There are emotional and physical symptoms.  Common emotional symptoms include feelings of apprehension or dread, feeling tense or jumpy, restlessness or irritability, anticipating the worst and being watchful for signs of danger.  Common physical symptoms include pounding or racing heart and shortness of breath, upset stomach, sweating, tremors, twitches, headaches, fatigue, insomnia, frequent urination, and diarrhea.  A person will not necessarily experience all these symptoms.  Anxiety can manifest differently for different individuals.  

                  I first experienced anxiety when I was around 20 years old.  I remember a sense of doom coming over me and feeling like the world was closing in on me.  I didn’t know what was happening.  That feeling still occurs sometimes.  I experience chest pain associated with my anxiety.  It is important if you experience chest pain to have it checked so cardiac issues can be ruled out.  Another symptom of anxiety I experience is overbearing and intrusive thoughts.  It is one of the emotional symptoms of anxiety.  A dialogue will start in my head that is hell bent on telling me everything that is wrong or could go wrong.  It is a negative dialogue.  Another symptom I experience is being antsy.    Often, I feel as if I am on edge.  Combined with my depression, anxiety makes it difficult to function.

                  There are different types of anxiety disorders.  The most common are generalized anxiety disorder, phobias, panic disorder, and social anxiety.  I would recommend that if you experience any of the symptoms mentioned above that you see a professional.  

                  In this post I want to focus on affirmations for dealing with anxiety.  An affirmation is a statement that is true.  Affirmations are intentional.  When using them, you have a purpose. You are saying them with the intention of easing your anxiety and reminding yourself about a truth. 

You can use affirmations in different ways.  You can say them to yourself silently or whisper them to yourself.  It might be helpful to write them on Post-Its and keep them where you can easily see them.  You can try writing them in a journal. Perhaps write a particular affirmation repeatedly.  Another way to use affirmations is to record yourself repeating them and play them back.

I try to use affirmations in an attempt to talk back to my anxiety.  In all honesty, sometimes I need more than an affirmation.  That is because anxiety is an illness.  You can’t just wish it away.  The affirmations do help, though.  I find they are most useful when I catch the anxiety early in its attack.  

                  Here are examples of some affirmations you can use:

 

·      I am okay.

·      I am safe.

·      I have done this before. I can do it again.

·      I trust myself to get through this.

·      I can reach out to others. (Possibly use someone’s name)

·      I breathe in calm and breathe out worry.

·      I can take things one at a time.

·      I love and accept myself.

·      I forgive myself and let go.

·      I am doing my best and that is enough.

·      Even when I struggle, I am strong.

·      I have hope. 

 

 

Incorporating affirmations into your daily life can help ease anxiety.  Affirmations can be used in conjunction with treatments such as therapy and medication.  You do not have to handle anxiety on your own.  There is help.  If you have never been diagnosed, you might want to start by having a conversation with your primary care provider.  These providers can refer you to the right mental health professional.  It is important to remember that anxiety is an illness, and it requires health care.  

                  If you are struggling with anxiety, know that you are not alone.  It can feel like you are alone.  It can feel like the anxiety is too much to handle. I have often felt this way.  I need to remind myself to use affirmations.  With the help of my mental health team, I have developed a toolbox of coping strategies for anxiety.  Many of the coping strategies are the same as or similar to ones I use for depression.  Affirmations are a part of that toolbox. I encourage you to try some of these affirmations.  You can write some of your own if there is a specific statement you want to remind yourself of.  I will leave you with an affirmation:

 

                  I am stronger than my anxiety.