How to Show Up When You Have Depression (Even When You Don't Feel Like It)

When you live with depression it can be hard to show up in the ways we might want to show up. It is not that we do not want to be fully present or participate some moments. There are times when we just cannot. Depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses can overtake our desire to be a part of moments or to do things. 

                  Let me explain a little. There are times when depression can make us feel drained or even dead inside. We might be holding pain that we fear will pour out of us if we engage with others. Anxiety can put us on an edge and make us feel like we are going to dive right off it. These feelings are hard to cope with when we are just sitting in our homes. Can you imagine trying to engage with others at these times? 

                  There are times when we do it. Times when can put our mental illness on the backburner, so to speak. It is by no means easy. Nothing is when you live with mental illness. So, how do we do it? How do we show up when we do not have it in us to show up? 

                  Let’s look at some ways to make showing up a bit more doable. First, we should focus on making our involvement smaller. We can be present in less demanding ways. We can prepare ourselves for the involvement. 

                  Here are some things we can try:

·      Redefine what involvement means: We do not need to be fully involved in everything. Maybe instead of being at an event or commitment for the full time, we set a goal of saying for a quarter of the time or half the time depending on what we can do. If it is something we are trying to do for ourselves like clean our house, maybe we commit to washing three dishes or vacuuming one room. If it is going out with friends, maybe we commit to only an hour or two rather than the whole evening.

·      Choose one priority: If we have more than one commitment, choose one to make a priority. Let others know what we are committing to do and be sure to make it known that we will only do what we can.

·      Let others help: If there is someone we can trust involved, we can let them know what we think we handle. Ask them to help us stick to that. We can say something like, “I am having a hard time today. I may need a little help with X or Y?” 

·      Check In Support: If we are going to be out somewhere and think we might have difficulty getting away, we can ask someone ahead of time to give us a call to check in and give us an out. We can also ask someone who is with us to suggest leaving at a set time to help us be able to leave before we become overwhelmed.

·      Prepare in advance: If we know we have something to show up for we can take a few steps to prepare that will make showing up easier. This can range from laying out our clothes the night before to checking out a location in advance. There are many ways we can prepare for things in advance. These are as varied as the activities we show up for. 

     It is important to remember that part of showing up is taking care of ourselves. We cannot show up if we are not taking care of ourselves. This is why being in tune with our mental health is important. To be in tune with our mental health we need to keep appointments with mental health providers. We need to take our medications and receive our treatments. We need to practice our coping skills. We need to ensure we are getting rest and exercise. Basically, we need to take responsibility for our mental health. This is tricky because doing this involves showing up. So, to show up we need to show up. Does that make sense? What I am trying to say is showing up takes making an effort to care for ourselves. We may not always feel like doing this, but if we can just put a little effort into it, only as much as we can give, we can show up.

The thing about showing up is that we are allowed to define what showing up means for us. No one else gets to define it for us. This may sound easier than it is. I know I struggle with showing up and often need reminders. Sometimes I can remind myself. Sometimes I need reminders from my mental healthcare team or others who are close to me. Perhaps, that is the key. We need to have conversations with those who support us. They need to know what we feel we can show up for and how we are able to show up. Of course, our ability to show up is going to vary based on how we are doing. Building a support system is crucial to being able to show up however we can.

Remember mental illness does not need to prevent us from showing up. We need to define what showing up means and then take the steps that will help us show up in our own way.

How to Find Joy in the Little Things When You Live with Depression: Simple ways to notice hope, comfort, and small moments of happiness during difficult days

    Have you ever had an experience where everything felt good even for a brief moment? I am not talking about something big. I am talking about the little things - the taste of great cup of coffee, the feel of the ocean breeze, the compliment from a colleague, an unexpected thank you. These are the moments when things unexpectedly go our way. They are the moments we could miss if we are not paying attention. Take a second to think about the times you have experienced one of these moments. It may seem hard, but we all experience these moments.

There are rare moments in our lives when we experience things feeling right. Actually, they may not be as rare as they seem. Two questions come to mind: how do we spot these moments? and how do we look back and spot the moments that have already occurred? Both are important. From a mental health perspective, it is important to embrace the moments when things feel right. These moments are the moments that give us hope. Those of us living with mental illness know that hope can be illusive. So, if we can start with the little moments, we can build toward embracing hope and living with joy.

I am not naïve enough to believe that noticing the little positives is going to make our mental illnesses disappear. It is not going to take away all the pain we live with. It will, however, allow us to learn to experience joy when it appears.

 

How Do We Spot the Little Joys in Our Lives

                  There are different ways we can spot the little joys in our lives. These may not be easy, but nothing is easy when you live with mental illness. So, give these a try. Pick one or two as a starting point. See where it takes you.

 

·      Lower the bar for what counts as joy – Joy isn’t always happiness, excitement, or gratitude. It can be little things. Consider the following as joy:

o   Your pet cuddling up against your leg

o   Your favorite song being played on the radio

o   A good cup of coffee

o   Finishing a task

o   Sunlight coming through your window

·      Pay attention to what interests you – Sometimes joy can come from curiosity. Ask yourself questions as you go about your day. It can be hard to be positive all the time, but maybe we can still be curious. We might ask:

o   What do I find comforting?

o   What was interesting about the show I just watched?

o   What color combinations in nature interest me?

o   What places make me feel comfortable?

·      Allow yourself time to take in good moments – It can take time to realize that something makes us happy or brings us joy. What we can do is give things an extra bit of time to evolve. This can involve:

o    Noticing the sensations we are experiencing. I mean really noticing them.Don’t leta sensation just pass. As you are experiencing the sensation, allow yourself to really experience it. Maybe ask yourself what you are experiencing. If we speak it (even in your mind), it becomes more real and it becomes a part of your memory.

·      Keep evidence – Take notes on the experiences that bring you joy, even if it is

something small. Our phones can be a great tool for this. Keep a list on your phone of the little things that allow you to feel a bit of joy. It does not need to be long. It could just be something like “saw a beautiful sunset”, “my coffee had more flavor today”, “friend texted me”, or “finished a work task.” The purpose is to keep evidence that the little joys did occur. It is evidence that it can happen. Sometimes when we are struggling, going back and seeing the evidence can be helpful.

·      Notice when you feel relief – Noticing is a skill that is important to develop. Sometimes things slip by us. We do not notice when we feel better or when something has improved. What if we tried to notice relief. Relief can be a joy. We can recognize that the absence of suffering is a good thing. We can recognize:

o   A backache that eases

o   Sitting on a sofa quietly after a rough day

o   Something we worried about not happening

·      Do not force yourself to be grateful – We do not need to be filled with gratitude all the time. Sometimes we just need to notice what is around us and let that be enough. Not everything in our lives is a positive or worthy of remembering. Gratitude is important, but we do not need to force it upon ourselves. 

 

What Do We Do with the Little Joys

                  As I mentioned, keeping evidence of the little joys is important. We can use our lists to remind us that good things do happen when we are struggling. Right now, I am at a point where I am working on noticing the little things. Yesterday I noticed that the barista put a squeeze more caramel in caramel cold brew. Sometimes I notice colors in nature. That is a little thing that is really big for me because color means a lot to me. Other times a favorite song plays on the radio.

                  What have I done with these little things? With my caramel cold brew, I sipped a little slower. I gazed at the mountain where the colors stood out to me. I stayed in my car to listen to a favorite song. These are little things, but in the moment, they make me feel better. The feeling may only last for a bit, but while it lasts, it feels good.

                  I searched online but did not really find much on how to embrace these little moments, at least not from the perspective I was searching for. So, I have shared what I do with a few little things. I am by no means an expert. I am just a person with lived mental illness experience who is trying to use my experience to help others. If you have read this far, I hope you found something here that helps. 

                  Here is to embracing the little, good things in our lives. Take a moment now and allow yourself to find one thing. If you are up to it, share what you find in the comments.

  

 

 

 

Choosing to Stay Alive When Depression Says Give Up

“And I won’t give up if you don’t give up”

 – Train, from the song, “Calling All Angels” 

One of the struggles that is a part of living with mental illness is that when things get tough, I sometimes feel like giving up. Living with depression is tough. Depression is always telling me negatives. Sometimes it whispers. Other times, it screams at me. It does not matter if is whispering or screaming. Either way, it hurts. Often, I have wanted to give up. Actually, feeling like giving up probably happens more than I like to admit. 

When I first heard the lyrics of the song “Calling All Angels” by Train, I was struck by the line “And I won’t give up if you don’t give up.” Music often speaks to me. I am a writer, and I am always thinking about words. When I hear certain lyrics or read something in a poem or book, I often find myself connecting to a piece of it. So, when I was first struck by this line, I tucked it away. However, every time I heard this song, (it is in one of my playlists) I was drawn to the line over and over again. It repeats in the song. So, it is easy to get hooked on the words. “And I won’t give up if you don’t give.” 

Why am I talking about this lyric? What does it have to do with depression or mental illness? The guys in Train probably were not thinking about mental health when they wrote it. So, why am I finding a connection? Simple. Not giving up is a sign of strength that so many of us who struggle with depression or other mental illness, possess. We are still alive. We are fighting our illnesses. We are choosing to live when the voice of depression often wants us to give up on life. 

Not giving up is a sign of strength. We may not always recognize it, but it requires strength to not give up. Even though, I did not recognize it in the moment, each time I walked away from suicidal thoughts, I was showing strength. Before I go on, I want to stress that dying by suicide is not a sign of weakness. It is symptom of an illness. Living with mental illness is not easy and sometimes it becomes too much. So, just because it takes strength to fight suicidal thoughts, it does not mean that a person who dies by suicide was weak. Believe me it takes strength to live each day with mental illness. 

Back to the lyric. “And I won’t give up if you don’t give up.” This lyric has me thinking of two ideas. First, I think as a person with mental illness, I say this line in some way or another to myself. I tell my inner self, the part of me that holds all the pain, all the negativity, all the hopelessness that depression pushes on me, not to give up. Together, this inner part of me and the part of me that the outside world sees, fight to not give up. We choose to live even though depression can be difficult. We choose to live even when depression is turning our world dark and tells us to give up. 

Even when I am in a downward spiral and feel the darkness all around me, deep down I know that I do not want to give up. In a recent post, Depression Told Me to Give Up - Why I Chose to Stay Alive,  I shared lyrics from Melissa Etheridge about choosing to survive and loving being alive. I think sometimes depression causes us to struggle. It becomes difficult to see that we want to live, that we want to survive. In those moments it is important to have people who won’t give up on you. That is the second idea this lyric brings up for me. Whether they are friends, loved ones, or mental health providers, It is important that we have people who won’t give up on us. I feel that commitment to not give up on me from all three of those categories of people. I am lucky. That luck is not lost on me. I am grateful for many people. I know I would not be here if it were for some of these people. 

I think as Mental Health Awareness Month draws to a close, it is important to stress that we need each other. We need people who won’t give up on us. Living with mental illness can be lonely and painful. That loneliness and pain can lead us to thinking that giving up is our only option. It is not, but it is hard to see that when depression has us cornered in a dark place. If we have people who won’t give up on us, we can walk back from suicidal thoughts. I promise you this is true. I am alive today because there have been people (they know who they are) who have not given up on me. 

If you have a loved one or friend living with mental illness, know that you can make a difference in their lives by being by their side, by letting them know that you won’t give up on them. If you are a mental health provider, know that being there for your patients allows them to live with their illness and not give up. I think that is one of the key takeaways of Mental Health Awareness Month. We need to be there for each other. Living with mental illness is tough, but if we if we are there for each other, if we don’t give up on each other, we can make a difference.

I love that in the song “Calling All Angels”, this line “And I won’t give up if you don’t give up” repeats so many times. It is as if it is echoing to ensure that we hear that message. I also love the title of the song, “Calling All Angels”. The people who don’t give up on those of us with mental illness, are truly angels.

 

 

 

 

How to Support Someone with Depression: What to Say and How to Help

                  As we continue moving through Mental Health Awareness Month, I thought it might be a good time to revisit supporting a loved one or friend who is living with mental illness. I have discussed this in past posts: What Not to Say to Someone with a Mental Illness, Being Present, and  Helpful Words to Say to Someone with Depression. Take a look at these after you read this post, if you are interested in learning more.

                  Often, it is difficult for people to know how to talk to or support someone with a mental illness. I think this comes from not understanding what mental illness is and from the stigma that surrounds mental illness. There are frequent negative impressions of mental illness in movies, television shows, and on social media. Government officials are presenting false information about mental illness and treatments for these illnesses. I think there has been improvement in the presentation of mental illness in movies, television, shows, and social media. In contrast, I think government officials are going in the opposite direction, which is dangerous. However, talking about that requires its own post.       

                  When movies or television shows present characters who commit crimes or do other negative things as having a mental illness, they are perpetuating the stigma that hurts so many of us. I think the negative image makes it difficult for people to learn how to interact with those of us who live with mental illness. Maybe if I share my thoughts on how to interact with me when I am struggling, I can provide some ideas for others. 

                  First, I would urge people not to be afraid of people living with mental illness. We are not dangerous. We are people just like everybody else. Our illness may make us seem unapproachable. We may be withdrawn or overly excited. These are part of our illness. Depression can make us seem sad. We may isolate ourselves. Don’t let this discourage you from reaching out. We welcome kindness just like everyone else.

                  I was in a cancer support group the other night. Someone shared something that I think is a great way to interact with someone with a cancer or mental illness. This person shared that when she is struggling, she has a friend who will ask, “Do you need me to talk or listen?” That is such an incredibly empathetic and powerful question. It acknowledges that the person who is struggling knows what kind of support they need. It demonstrates that the person asking the question is willing to provide the support in the manner their friend or loved one needs. 

                  Let’s consider how this might look when someone is struggling with depression. The question is asked. “Do you need me to talk or listen?” Obviously, two responses are possible. If the person, let’s say it’s me, says “I need you to talk.” Here is what that conversation might look like:

                  “What are you feeling?” (I think “what” is better than “how” because it already acknowledges that you recognize the person is feeling something.

“I am struggling. The depression is very heavy right now.” 

“I understand that you are feeling depressed. You have told me in the past that this is a very dark feeling. Is that what you are experiencing right now?” 

“Yes, I feel trapped, and the darkness feels heavy.”

“Are you considering harming yourself?”

“No, I just feel like the depression is overwhelming me.”

“I am glad you are not considering harming yourself. I can be with for a while. Would it help if I stay with you?”

“Yes. I need help distracting myself from the thoughts I am having.”

“I know you have several coping strategies for that. Maybe we could try one.”

“That might help. Can you help me get started on one? I don’t know where to begin because I feel so overwhelmed.”

“Definitely. Maybe we could start by listening to some music or writing something.”

“I would like to listen to music. Can you put something on?” 

“Definitely. We can listen together. Do you want to listen to a particular musician?”

 

At this point the conversation can continue into music. You have given the person (me) a chance to try a coping skill. You ascertained that the person did not have thoughts of harming themself. By engaging with the person in their coping skill, you are letting them know they are not alone.

What if you are communicating with the person by phone call or text? You can still engage with them. You might support the person as they put music on. You can continue the conversation as they listen to music, or you can make a commitment to call or text them in a short while to check back in and see if they are doing okay or if they need further support. I think it is important to check back in a few times. This lets the person know you are interested in how they are doing and that you are there for them and invested in how they are doing.

If a person says they need you to listen. You simply listen without judging. You are being an empathetic ear. You are providing your loved one or friend an opportunity to share what they are going through and feeling. If you are physically with the person, be sure that your body language is open and caring. Look at the person while you listen. Whether you are in person, talking on the phone, or even texting be sure that you are giving your loved one or friend your full attention. They/we need you in this moment. It is important to be an active listener. So, acknowledge what the person is saying. You might repeat back what they are saying in a way that lets the person know you are listening. This might be saying something like:

“I hear you saying that the depression feels overwhelming, is that how you are feeling?”  

After this allow the person to continue sharing. Listen actively. Check in to see if the person wants you to talk at any point.

Whether you are talking or listening it is important that refrain from judging. The last thing the person needs is judgement. They need support. They/we need to know that someone cares about them. Often, depression tells a person that they are alone or that there is no one in their lives who understands. By being present for your friend or loved one you really are making a difference. 

One thing that is important is an awareness of the person’s safety. Depression often carries with it self-harm and suicidal thoughts. As you check in with your loved one or friend, ask them if they are having thoughts about harming themselves. I know this question can be difficult to ask, but it is important. There should be no judgement in this question. The depression or other mental illness is causing the self-harm or suicidal thoughts. In most cases the person really does not want to harm themselves. 

What do you do if the person expresses thoughts about harming themselves? If the person is in immediate danger, you should call 911. If the person is not in immediate danger, you can call the 988 Lifelinefor support. In some cases, the person might have a mental health provider who can be called. It is okay to ask the person if there is someone you should call. 

Some people with mental illness have safety plans. I have one. This is a plan that outlines how to support the person and what to do when the person is having self-harm or suicidal thoughts. For more on safety plans, please check out this article I wrote: Creating a Safety Plan for Times of Suicidal Crisis. It details how to create a safety plan and why a safety plan is important. 

Being present for a loved one or friend with depression or other mental illness can be challenging, but you can be there for the person. You can learn to talk or listen. If you would like to learn more about supporting a loved one with mental illness you can read an article I wrote for NAMI Glendale here: Supporting a Loved One Living with Mental Illness: 8 tips from a peer's perspective. 

 

 

 

You Are Not Alone: Understanding and Healing from Postpartum Depression

                  Usually, I try to write about aspects of mental illness I either have experience with or have knowledge about. Since today is Mother’s Day, I thought it might be a good time to discuss postpartum depression. 

According to PostpartumDepression.org about 1in 8 women experience symptoms of postpartum depression after giving birth. The rate could be as high as 1 in 5 women in some US states. When looking at the numbers this could mean that approximately 460.000 women in the US experience postpartum depression. PostpartumDepression.org notes that these numbers only pertain to live births. Women who experience a miscarriage or stillbirth can also develop depression. So, if we include all these women, the number of women experiencing postpartum depression increases. Also of note, is that new fathers and same-sex partners can experience depression. The likelihood of a father or same-sex partner experiencing depression increases if the mother experiences postpartum depression. PostpartumDepression.org explores the statistics on postpartum depression more thoroughly, if you are interested.

Postpartum depression (PPD) is “a form of major depression and a mental health disorder that affects women after childbirth. Each person with postpartum depression may experience different symptoms. There are several symptoms that may be present. These include: 

·      Mood swings

·      Trouble sleeping or oversleeping

·      Changes in appetite

·      Anger and irritability

·      Feelings of worthlessness

·      Moderate to major depression

·      Fatigue

·      Excessive crying

·      Inability to bond with the new baby

·      Anxiety, worry, and/or fear

·      Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed

·      Withdrawing from friends and family

 

Symptoms usually develop in the first few weeks after birth and may last up to six months to a year. It is possible for symptoms to develop before birth. While symptoms generally last only up to six months after childbirth, if left untreated, PPD can become a chronic depressive disorder. Because PPD has many forms and symptoms it is difficult to isolate a specific cause. It is important to understand that postpartum depression is not caused by anything the mother does. Some possible causes of postpartum depression include:

·      Changes in hormone levels

·      Sleep deprivation

·      Physical Body Changes

·      Postpartum stress and worry

·      Birth trauma

·      Life stressors

 

Risk factors for postpartum depression are varied. It is possible to have genetic or medical risk factors. There are environmental risk factors, which might include low social support. Mental or emotional risk factors include recent stress or abusive relationships. Unplanned pregnancy and substance abuse can also be risk factors. 

From a mental and emotional standpoint, it is important to pay attention to certain things. Be aware of stressful events in your life. A woman should get support if she has experienced a stressful event such as the loss of a job or the death or a loved one. Fears or worry over finances can be add to risk. The lack of a support system can be another risk factor.

                  When pregnant and after childbirth women need to find time for self-care. They should find time to socialize or be with others. The social support of a partner, friends, and family members is an important factor in reducing risk. It is important that a woman receives support if she is in is in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship.

                  How is postpartum depression treated? According to PostpartumDepression.org, psychotherapy is the standard treatment for postpartum depression. This is known as “talk therapy”. In some cases, antidepressants are prescribed. Many antidepressants are safe during breastfeeding. However, this is something to be discussed with your doctor and beyond the scope of this blog post. Support groups can also help those suffering from postpartum depression. If postpartum depression becomes severe or if postpartum psychosis develops, inpatient treatment may be necessary. 

                  Postpartum psychosis is a mental health emergency. According to the Cleveland Clinic, postpartum psychosis affects the mother’s sense of reality. It causes hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, and other behavior changes. If the case is severe, there is a risk that the mother may try to harm herself or her newborn. Treatment is important. Postpartum psychosis is treatable. Earlier treatment leads to better outcomes. If a mother is experiencing any of the above signs it is important to seek help immediately. This can include calling 911 if the woman or baby is in danger. Another important thing to remember is that with treatment the mother can recover. 

                  Postpartum depression is treatable. It is important that the woman seek treatment. Her loved ones and friends should take this seriously and understand that the depression is real and what the woman is experiencing is real. The OB/GYN can provide resources and referrals. A psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, or primary care provider can also be contacted for support. Women can recover from postpartum depression. I mentioned earlier that the father or same-sex partner can experience postpartum depression. They need to seek treatment, too. 

                  On this Mother’s Day I would like to encourage all mothers to ensure that they give themselves grace. Find time for self-care. Remember that your health, including your mental health is important. To all the mothers, fathers, same sex partners who are or who suffered from postpartum depression, to all the mothers who have experienced depression whether diagnosed or not, and to all the mothers who have had moments of struggle, you are seen, you are heard, and you will be okay. 

 

 

 

Why ‘Doing Enough’ Is Enough: Living with Depression and Letting Go of Pressure

        Recently, I saw a social media post that said, “Just because you could do more doesn’t mean you’re not doing enough already.” This statement really struck me. I felt it. My guess is that a lot of us can relate to this. It seems there is always a push to do more, but maybe what we really need to do is take a step back and let what are doing be enough.

                  While this statement likely applies to most people, I think it has even more meaning for those of us living with mental illness. When we are struggling with our mental health, it can be hard to accomplish all we think we need to get done. Our mental illness gets in the way. Tasks become harder to do. We place pressure on ourselves. The pressure than makes it more difficult for us to do things. Then our mental illness grows louder.

                  When you live with depression there is a heaviness that makes it difficult to be as productive as we might like to be. There is a weight bearing down on us. We try to do things, but our mood prevents us from engaging in activities. We may be able to go through the motions, but we tell ourselves we are not doing enough. Sometimes we can be productive. Many of us living with depression have jobs or go to school. We are out there in the world doing our best to be productive. Still a darkness may hang over us. We might get things done, but it never seems to be enough. When we get trapped into thinking that we are not doing enough, our depression grows louder in our minds. We are unable to recognize what we have done. We feel we haven’t done enough or even that we are not enough. This is part of the cycle of lies that depression tells us.

                  This feeling of not doing enough also occurs when we live with anxiety. When anxiety controls our thoughts, we worry more about not doing enough. Pressure to accomplish tasks grows. It suffocates us. We tell ourselves that we need to do more. We become anxious about what others will think or say. We might become convinced that we are going to lose our job or that we will fail a class. So, we push ourselves to our breaking point. This might lead to an anxiety attack that leaves us unable to do anything. The pressure we put on ourselves to do more can leave us unable to do anything. 

                  But as the statement above says, we are doing enough. I know it is hard a lesson to learn, but we need to remember that doing what we can is enough. We do not need to push ourselves beyond our limit. Sometimes it is okay to just say, “I have done what I can and that is enough.” I know that is easy to say, but hard to believe. I get it. I struggle with the pressure I put on myself. My last post (April 13^th) is an example of letting what I can do be enough. I had a rough weekend and could not write the post I wanted to write for Monday. I beat myself up about it. I told myself I had to write a post. As Sunday neared an end and Monday’s post was not written, I had a choice. I could stay up all night and beat myself up or I could post something simple and let that be good enough. In the end, I chose to let what I could do be enough. I posted a poem I had previously written, but never shared. It did not receive the number of reads I had hoped for, but I posted on schedule.

                  Was it hard for me to allow myself not to write full post? Yes, it was very hard. Monday, I kept telling myself that I should have written more. That was the voice of my depression and anxiety. These two illnesses were trying to tear me down. While it is hard, I need to recognize the “voices” for what they are. Depression and anxiety feed off telling me I am not enough. I am sure many others can relate to this. We put pressure on ourselves. We question our worth. I am working on telling myself that what I am able to do is enough. I do not need to be perfect. I do not need to push myself beyond my limits. Neither do you. What we can do is enough. It is going to look different on different days. We need to respect ourselves and understand that we are doing the best we can. Living with mental illness is a challenge. Whatever effort we can put forth is worthy.  Even if we feel we can do more, we need to remember that what we can do is enough. 

                  This means not comparing ourselves to others. We are all different. We all face different challenges. While it is hard to avoid comparisons, we need to try to give ourselves the grace to be who we are and accept our abilities for what they are. We do what we can. Others do what they can. Let it be enough to do what we can. We need to honor ourselves by recognizing that we do our best and that is enough. 

                  So, remember “Just because you could do more doesn’t mean you’re not doing enough already.” 

 

 

 

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