Depression Doesn’t Change Who You Are: Challenging Mental Health Stigma

I am the same person I was before you found out I have a mental health disorder.

– Unknown

 

                  The above quote popped up in my Facebook memories today. I posted it seven years ago. Just like when I first posted it, this quote struck me as meaningful today for a few reasons. One, I think it fits well with Mental Health Awareness Month. Another reason is that it points out that stigma still exists in our world. The third reason is more personal. Sometimes when I am struggling, I feel alone. At times it seems that my mental health isolates me. It shouldn’t because I am the same person whether I am struggling with my mental health, or I am doing well. Today, I would like to delve into the message of this quote and its relevance in our world.

                  It is Mental Health Awareness Month. It is a month where many of us put forth extra effort to make others aware of what it is like to live with mental illness and what resources are available. We try to provide an understanding of mental illness and how it affects people. There are efforts to inform people, to raise money, and to join in community. It is an important month for everyone, not just those of us affected by mental illness. This month provides a chance for everyone to learn about mental illness.

The theme NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is using for Mental Health Awareness Month is “Turning Silence into Connection” as its theme for this year. I think this is a powerful statement. For me it also connects to the above quote. The other day I had an experience where someone asked how I was doing. I was really struggling. So, I said that I was “struggling with my mental health”. This was someone I am close to. Still, I was meant by silence. I am not trying to find fault with this person. The response was genuine. The person did not know how to respond to my comment or the fact that I was struggling. This shows the need for more awareness. We need to spread education about what it is like to live with mental illness. We need people to learn that it is not something to be afraid of or to shun because you do not understand. For my part, I could have told this person what I needed. Instead, I met the silence given toward me with silence of my own. To say the least, it made the conversation awkward until one of us changed the subject. Gone was my chance to feel supported. We did not allow silence to turn into connection. I do not want to use the word “fault”, but I think we both could have handle the situation differently. I could have asked if I could share what I was feeling and what I needed. The other person could have asked me what I was feeling and what I needed. Better conversations grow from awareness efforts. That is why educating people about living with mental illness and supporting someone with a mental illness is so important. 

Maybe one way I can turn this silence into connection is to find a time when I am feeling better to explain what I need when I say I am struggling with my mental health. I can share resources from organizations like NAMI. I can share this blog. What I am doing right now is a way to spread awareness. After I post this, I will add posts to my social media accounts to let people know what I posted on my blog and that my blog exists. I do this for every blog post. Will I get the number of reads necessary to make a huge difference? Probably not, but I might just reach the one person who needs to hear that they are not alone in their struggle with mental health. One of my blog posts might encourage someone to seek treatment. The effort is what matters during Mental Health Awareness Month. If we stay silent, we cannot help anyone. If speak about mental illness, we connect and when we connect healing happens.

I guess I just combined my first and third reasons. Mental illness is a lonely illness. When there was silence between the person I shared my struggle with and myself, I not only felt alone, I felt isolated. I think mental illness is a lonely illness. The lack of understanding leads us to isolate. Combined with the mental illness we are already living with, isolation pulls our mood down further, increases our anxiety, or exacerbates other symptoms of mental illness. This is why we need to raise awareness. Knowing we are not alone can help us find the strength to battle our illness.

Stigma is a huge issue when it comes to mental illness. Stigma is defined as negative attitudes, stereotypes, and prejudice directed a people with mental health conditions. It usually results in discrimination and shame. Sure, awareness has helped reduce stigma, but stigma is still there. Just look at our government. Robert Kennedy, Jr, the U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services, has said, “We will no longer treat psychiatric medications as the default.” He is trying to limit the prescription of psychiatric medications. This angers me. He has no medical or psychiatric training/education. He is pushing for a reduction in the use of psychiatric medications. He has suggested links to violence with some psychiatric medications. This is stigma. He is basing his comments and decisions on stereotypes and prejudice, not medical and psychiatric research.

Conversations about psychiatric medications should be between the patient and their mental health team. Decisions about medication should be between a psychiatrist and their patient. Kennedy’s policies demonstrate the stigma that surrounds mental health. He is minimizing the struggles and pains we go through. People who take psychiatric medications need them. With his policies he is increasing the stigma we face. I should stop here before I get any more political. I leave it at this: Stigma allows policies like this to be put in place. Stigma allows a non-psychiatric professional to think he understands mental illness. This is a reason why we need mental health awareness.

Stigma surfaces everywhere. It is in our pop culture. It is present in the television shows and movies we watch. It is present in our schools and workplaces. Stigma pushes us to hide our mental illness. It also leaves many loved ones and friends unable to understand those in their lives who live with mental illness. We see stigma in jokes people make and insults that are used. How many times have you heard someone use a mental illness as an insult or to describe a behavior that is consider negative? It happens more than any of us think because stigma has engrained in our lives. Awareness is how we fight back.

Awareness can mean different things. It can be as simple as wearing a green ribbon or putting a green ribbon on your car. It can be as challenging as asking a loved one who has a mental illness to explain what they live with. There is so much in between. Raising awareness can be checking out organizations like NAMI. It can be creating lessons for schools to use with students. Going to your local NAMI chapters events  NAMI Walks is a great way to get involved and learn about mental illness. It is also a fun event. My local NAMI chapters, united through NAMI Greater Los Angeles County, have their NAMI Walks this Saturday, May 16^th. You can attend mental health workshops. Reading mental health blogs or social media content is another way to raise awareness. Hey, look at you! You are raising awareness by reading this post!

The bottom line is that we need to work to make the world a better place for people living with mental illness. We are the same people we were before our diagnosis. Just as my cancer diagnosis did not change who I am, my depression and anxiety diagnoses do not change who I am. People with mental illness are capable of great things. Do a Google search and you will find many successful people who have lived with or are living with mental illness. Read through past posts on my blog. I have written about so many aspects of mental illness. You are bound to learn something. There is a search option on the right side of the post. Search for something related to mental illness, you will find a post that might interest you or even help you or a loved one.

Let me end by saying, we can live with mental illness. It may not be easy. We may face stigma, but we can live positive, productive lives. I hope this post encourages people to learn about mental illness. Even if you have a mental illness, there are things you can learn. I am constantly learning about mental illness, and I have lived with it for almost 40 years. This month and moving forward let’s challenge ourselves to make NAMI’s Mental Health Awareness Month’s theme, “Turning Silence into Connection” a reality and reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness. In doing so, we will make so many people’s lives easier.

 

 

 

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Lemonading

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

                  The other day I was scrolling social media, which is something I find myself doing too much of lately. Anyway, I came across a word I had never heard. It sounded made up and it probably is. The word is “lemonading”. The definition given on the post was “turning a negative situation into something positive, empowering, or creatively fruitful.” I immediately thought of the mental health and physical health aspects of the definition of this new word.

                  A quick internet search revealed that as would be expected this comes from the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” At its essence it means turning something bad into something good. Lemonading is the idea of growing from negative experiences. We can learn from a setback. We can use rejection, failure, or pain as motivation. We can reframe negative experiences in a constructive manner. When we do these things, we are lemonading. 

                  When we are lemonading we are doing several positive things. One thing is boosting resilience. In doing this, we are not allowing ourselves to remain discouraged even when we face difficulties. Lemonading leads to shifts in mindset. Instead of focusing on the negative we are pushing ourselves towards optimism. We also incorporate problem-solving. This can build creativity. We are pushing ourselves to find new ideas or ways to move forward. All these things can lead to improvements in mental health. 

                  How does lemonading improve mental health? I doubt there is much research on this with respect to the term lemonading since it is such a new word. I think the benefits are fairly obvious, though. When we focus on the positive it helps us to feel better. We see the world in positive light when we are lemonading. While this is not going to cure mental illness, it might help to lift mood. It is part of the process of restructuring our thoughts or using self-talk to change our thoughts. For example, maybe we are struggling with our depression. Our thoughts are dark. If we attempt to use the practice of lemonading, we might try to find one thing that is positive. Maybe it is as simple as noticing the sun shining in a blue sky and focusing on that. Thoughts of a bright sun might remind us of a time when we did something fun in the sun. These thoughts can serve as a distraction for a bit. This is not going to make the depression go away, but it might make it a little easier to cope with. 

                  Another way a person with a mental illness might engage in lemonading is getting involved in raising awareness about mental illness. Let me share an example from my own life. I have lived with mental illness for nearly 40 years. It is painful. It is difficult. How do I engage in lemonading? I started sharing my story. I used my writing, which has always held my pain, to creatively share my experiences with depression and anxiety. This led to several positives. I published and sold my books. I gave talks and read from my books at bookstores and coffee shops. I discovered an awareness and advocacy group, NAMI, that changed my life. Through NAMI I have been able to continue sharing my story, teach others, and raise awareness about mental illness. While the word is new to me, I have been lemonading. I shifted the negative aspects of my mental illness into positives by reaching out to others. I continue to engage in lemonading. I am active member of NAMI. I also continue to write and share my story. This blog is an example of my lemonading. I have experienced creativity and growth in the face of the negatives of mental illness. 

                  Another example of lemonading is when people who have been struck by an illness start fundraising for a cure. Think of the countless number of charity walks that are held each year. My breast cancer diagnosis has led me to raise money for breast cancer research. In fact, I am planning another fundraiser now. NAMI Walks take place all over the country to raise money for mental illness. People who have lost loved ones to suicide often get involved in raising money for and awareness about suicide. There are walks and other fundraisers to help individuals with autism. The examples are countless. I think it is a part of human nature to want to help when surrounded by negatives. In this way lemonading has been around for long time. 

                  There are so many examples of lemonading in the world. I wish we saw them more frequently. Too often we are focused on the negative, but there is lemonading going on all around us. Can you think of any examples? Share them in the comments.

                                                       

A Mental Health Myth

                  There are a lot of myths surrounding mental health. These myths are harmful and further the stigma that surrounds mental health. Today I would like to address one myth. My plan is to periodically address other myths in future posts.

                  One harmful myth surrounding mental health is that talking about mental health is a sign of weakness. Just the opposite is true. Talking about mental illness is a sign of strength. It takes courage to discuss mental health. The fact that this myth is believed is proof of the strength it takes to talk about mental health.

                  As I have shared, I have lived with mental illness, depression and anxiety, for most of my life. It took me a long time to learn that it was okay to talk about my mental health. At times I was afraid of how I would be perceived. In all honesty, sometimes I still am. I believed that I would be ridiculed for my depression and anxiety. I didn’t think others would understand. I did not believe I deserved help with my mental health. So, I remained silent. 

                  I suffered silently with my illness for a long time before I had the courage to share my suffering. It took courage to share my story with someone other than my psychologist. Once I took that risk, I realized that I wasn’t alone. There are so many people living with mental illness. Like I did, many of these people believe they need to stay silent. Once I learned that I could share my mental illness with others, I felt a weight lifted off me. Despite the lifting of the weight, it still takes courage to share my story. Even today, after I have been sharing my experience with mental illness for many years, I sometimes hesitate. We never know how the illness we live with will be received. Thanks to groups like NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), there is more awareness surrounding mental health and more acceptance. Still, stigma and ignorance are present in the world. That is the reason it still takes strength to talk about mental illness.

                  One of the purposes of my blog is to provide an open space to discuss mental illness. It is a safe space. It is a place for me to share my experiences and thoughts. I welcome comments because that encourages open discussion. Whenever I post on this blog, I share it on my social media accounts. It takes strength for me to do that because I never know who is lurking on social media. The reason I do this is to reach as many people as I can. Occasionally, I will receive a negative reaction. I will be honest when that happens, it hurts, but I know that I am I getting far more positive than negative reactions. 

Talking about mental illness is how we end the stigma. Sadly, there are people who do not understand that mental illness is an illness. There are people who ridicule us. There are people who think that by talking about it we are seeking attention. Well, I am seeking attention, but not for myself. I am seeking attention to the fact that many people live with mental illness and that all of us deserve support and treatment. I am lucky to have a platform where I can discuss mental illness. It is a testament to the strength I have developed in my battle with mental illness. I have learned that I can use my voice to better myself and to help others. So, if that makes me an attention seeker or if it makes me weak, that is okay. I am doing my part to make life easier for those of us living with mental illness. 

I wish I could do more. One day I will. For now, I will use my strength to discuss mental illness with anyone who will listen. There are people who don’t want to listen. Sadly, it is their loss. 

I’m going to try a little experiment. I want to ask people who are reading this to comment. If you are living with mental illness, comment “I am here”. Maybe you don’t live with mental illness, but you are listening and believe we should discuss mental health, comment, “I am listening”. If appropriate, leave both comments. You can comment anonymously if you are uncomfortable leaving your name. I just want to show that there are people out there who believe it demonstrates strength to discuss mental illness. So, help me out. Leave a comment. Your comments also help spread my blog to others, which further breaks down this myth.

It is a myth that it is a sign of weakness to talk about mental illness. Let’s allow our voices to be heard. 

Depression Drains Us of Energy

                 One of the struggles with depression can be getting yourself to do things. I know I struggle with this at times. Actually, I struggle with it often. I am learning to be more patient with myself about it and thought I would share some thoughts.

                  Depression is draining. It may seem like with depression we are not doing anything. We may lie in bed all day or sit in the dark. Some people function as if it is a normal day and go through a routine. No matter how our depression manifests itself, it requires a lot of energy. Yes, lying in bed with depression is tiring. I know that may seem unrealistic or it may seem like we are resting. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Depression requires a lot of mental energy. It drains us of energy because our minds are busy fighting the depression. The thoughts depression fills our mind with are heavy and sometimes we need to battle those thoughts just to get through the day. At times we may need to battle suicidal thoughts. It is a heavy burden. 

                  Depression makes me tired, but it also prevents me from getting the rest I need to carry the burden depression creates. I may lay in bed all day and still be exhausted when evening arrives. It is not a physical tiredness, although at times my body may just not want to do anything. Depression causes a mental fatigue. This fatigue is heavy. It is draining. 

                  When we live with depression, we need to find ways to give ourselves grace. We need to recognize that our illness drains us of energy. The mental fatigue is real. It is also all-encompassing. Mental fatigue can make us physically tired. It is difficult, but we need to remind ourselves that even doing little things while depressed is a major accomplishment. We need to give ourselves credit for it. If we don’t give ourselves credit, it is not likely others will. People don’t understand our struggle. To outsiders lying in bed all day seems like rest or even being lazy. However, we know how much strength it takes to get out of that bed. 

                  Luckily for me those days of lying in bed all day fighting my depression are getting fewer. I have my mental health team and the treatment I am receiving to thank for that. It is my hope that through awareness others can get the kind of help I have been blessed with. That awareness comes from efforts of groups like NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). My blog is an attempt to raise awareness. You can help by sharing my blog with others or by getting involved with NAMI. One way you can do this is by donating to NAMI Walks. I am raising funds through NAMI Walks. You can help me by donating here NAMI Walks Gina's Donation Page. Because so many people have donated to the other cause I have fundraised for (breast cancer research) I am not doing a lot of publicizing of this effort. Maybe next year I can raise more money, but I want to respect that people have already donated to my other efforts. However, if you would like to donate, click on my donation page link. Every little bit helps. I will be donating as much as I can. 

                  NAMI has given me hope. Through volunteering with NAMI, I have met incredible people and been given an opportunity to share my story with so many others. My involvement with NAMI has allowed me to give talks about mental health, write articles that have appeared on the NAMI Glendale website, and lead a writing as a healing tool writers' group. There is still space in this writing group if you would like to join. Just click on the link. All of this helps when depression is dragging me down and leaving me with no energy. 

                  I will leave you with this thought. If all you did today was get out of bed, I am proud of you. When you live with depression that simple act can take tremendous courage and willpower. If you didn’t get out of bed, that is okay, too. You are doing what you need to do to survive. Give yourself grace and remember that depression is an illness. There will be days when the illness takes control.  One thing I have learned is to not give up. If I spend today in bed because of my depression, tomorrow is a new chance to get out of bed.