How Therapy Helped Me Survive Depression: Why Mental Health Treatment Matters

                  Therapy has been a part of my life for over three decades. That may seem like it has been ineffective. The opposite is true. Therapy is a lifeline and a changing force for me. I process my emotions and struggles in therapy. I work on life issues that arise. I receive support when my depression pushes me into wanting to harm myself. I know my psychologist will guide me into feeling better. Therapy is not a magic potion. It is workspace. Being in therapy requires a commitment. Sometimes it takes time develop that commitment, but it is worth the time it takes. 

                  Let’s look at why people go to therapy, how therapy can help, and what a therapy session might be like. Keep in mind that there are different types of therapy. Different people find certain types of therapy more effective than others. In a way it is similar to different medications working better for different people. We have a right to find the type of therapy and the therapist that works best for us. 

                  First, we should define therapy. Therapy is a structured form of treatment for mental illness. In therapy a trained mental health professional helps a person understand, manage, and improve their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and overall well-being. The goal of therapy is larger than just a temporary fix, although there are often times when the focus of a therapy session needs to be on the short-term, especially if the person is experiencing a crisis. One of the overarching goals of therapy is improve the quality of a person’s life over time. Embedded in this is learning how to live with depression or other mental illness and how to utilize forms of treatment and coping strategies.

Reasons Why a Person Might Go to Therapy

                  There are many reasons a person may choose to go to therapy. Therapy is an important part of most treatment plans for depression and other mental illnesses. For me it has been vital. I would not be where I am today, able to write this blog, or able to live my life, without therapy. 

                  Therapy can help a person learn about their mental illness and how it affects them. This is an important reason for going to therapy. Living with a mental illness is difficult. There is a lot we need to learn about our illness. Understanding our illness and how it affects us allows us to manage our illness more effectively. A good therapist will guide us through gaining this understanding.

                  Dealing with emotional distress is another reason to go to therapy. The therapist will help a person cope with the distress. There are many types of emotional distress. It might be suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, anxiety, persistent sadness, hopelessness, or emptiness. In therapy a person will receive support coping with depression, anxiety, mania, anger, or trauma. 

                  Therapy can address grief. A person might go to therapy to address low-self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness. A therapist might also address anger, mood swings, or emotional numbness. Therapy is an important part of dealing with thoughts of self-harm or suicide.  Substance abuse can be addressed in therapy. 

                  A person does not need a diagnosis to benefit from therapy. Sometimes people just need a little help. Therapy can provide support when a person is struggling.

                  If a person has a mental health condition, therapy, in some form, is often a part of the treatment plan.  These diagnoses would include major depressive disorder, anxiety disorders obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and other mental diagnoses. Therapy helps people learn to manage these disorders. 

A Look at a Therapy Session

                  In the first appointment the therapist will spend some time getting to know the person and their needs. First, the therapist will ask about the person’s needs and concerns. The first session is used to begin to establish trust. The therapist will likely take a history. They will ask about current symptoms, emotions, and struggles. The therapist will ask about past therapy experiences. A good therapist with explain how the therapy will work and explain their treatment approach. A plan for session frequency and goals for therapy will be established. 

                  Later appointments will vary depending on the type of therapy being provided. Many therapy sessions are centered around discussions between the therapist and the person receiving therapy. Usually, a focus is established to guide the session. This might look like the person expressing a need and the therapist guiding a discussion and providing support. Often, the therapist and person will talk through emotions, experiences, or challenges. Together they work on coping strategies and problem-solving skills. The therapist may assist the person in working through unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors. Work on interpersonal relationships might be a part of therapy. Sessions vary depending on the person’s need. Those needs can change over time. 

                  Therapy is a two-way process. It requires work from both the person receiving therapy and the therapist. Both need to be active participants. In this process the therapist provides guidance and expertise, while the person should do their best to be open and share what they are experiencing and what they need. When a person is struggling with depression or other mental illness this can be difficul. In these moments being present and doing the best you can is important. It is important for the therapist to create a safe, structured environment where discussions can take place. The therapist can provide support and guide the person. It is the therapist’s role to identify patterns in thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. They then provide coping skills, emotional regulation techniques, and communication strategies. The therapist can help the person practice these strategies. 

                  The person in therapy shares what they are going through. This would include experiences, symptoms, thoughts, and concerns. It is important for the person to be honest. No one needs to hide anything from a therapist. In therapy there is no judgment. A key to successful therapy is for the person to practice the coping skills, emotional regulation techniques, and communication strategies that are being taught. A person in therapy needs to consistently attend sessions, be willing to engage in sessions even if it takes some time to develop this ability, and be patient with the process. Healing takes time. It does not happen overnight.

                  As I mentioned it can time for the therapy to really feel like it is working. Both the therapist and the person receiving therapy need to build trust. Therapy is most effective when both sides have worked to build a trust and communication. It is important to remember that the person receiving therapy can say something to therapist if something feels uncomfortable or if they are not ready to discuss a certain topic. There is no one size fits all approach to therapy. This is why both sides need to work at develop the therapeutic relationship. The therapist may need to change certain approaches or provide different strategies.

                  Healing takes time and it takes work. Mental illnesses are rarely improved without effort. Mental illnesses are complex, but with effort the therapy experience can be healing. 

The Rights of a Person Receiving Therapy.

                  Just as a person in a physical health situation has rights, so does a person receiving mental health care. If something does not feel right in the therapy session, it is okay to make your thoughts known. It is also okay to look for the right therapist. Sometimes the fit is just not there. A person might not find the first therapist they see to be the right one. So, a person might need to try a few therapists to find the one they click with. That is okay. 

                  If you have health insurance, you can ask for a list of therapists covered under your plan. One way to find a therapist is to look through therapist directories. You can do this online. Psychology Today Therapist Finder is one source you can use. Another source is SAMHSA Treatment Locator. You can also ask a trusted healthcare provider. Often, a primary care provider can help you get started. 

                  It is okay to interview a therapist before committing. Ask them about their experience with your condition. You can ask about their approaches with your condition. It is okay to ask any questions you might have. 

                  It is also important consider things like insurance coverage, cost, language and cultural competence, and gender or identity preference. You might also need to consider in-person versus telehealth options. These are all important considerations. You want to make sure that the therapist is right for you in every area.

Final Thoughts

                  Therapy is important when you live with mental illness. I have been in therapy for decades. For me, therapy is an integral part of my treatment. It is my lifeline. Over the years my therapist and I have developed a relationship that allows trust on both ends. I know that I can trust him with anything I am experiencing. I think he knows that I would reach out to him if I had thoughts of harming myself. In fact, there have been times when I have reached out to him when my depression has pushed me to the point of wanting to hurt myself. The fact that he has been there has saved my life. I know this may sound like I am overexaggerating, but having a therapist and a mental health team you can rely on is so important. It can be lifesaving. 

 

Rethinking Depression: We Don’t Need Fixing, We Need Rediscovery

        True healing is not the fixing of the broken, but the rediscovery of the unbroken

– Jeff Foster

 

                  Often, we think of healing as fixing something that is not well or broken. I would like to delve into that idea. Is there more to healing than just fixing something? With my depression I have always thought of being trapped in a darkness more than being broken. That being said, I still require healing. Am I broken or do I carry a heavy load that blankets me in darkness?  I know I need healing to escape that darkness. How does that healing take place? How do we rediscover what was not broken, but rather shrouded in darkness?

                  Most of my life I have felt lost in the darkness. Despite that overwhelming feeling of darkness, at times, it has also felt like a brokeness. Perhaps, the idea of brokeness stems from how others view depression. The stigma attached to depression and other mental illnesses leaves us feeling that there is something wrong with us, that we are somehow broken. Still deep down, I do not think I am broken. Yes, I suffer from depression and anxiety. Yes, life is difficult at times. However, I think those difficulties arise when the world loses its color. It is when the darkness sets in that I struggle and cannot see the light in my world.

Healing from depression does not require fixing my brain or fixing something that is not working inside of me. Instead, I need to rediscover (or maybe discover) the light in my life. I need to find the aspects of me that bring me pleasure and allow me to engage with others. For many of us living with depression, the ability to experience pleasure is lost. With depression we lose the ability to fully engage with others. When we consider healing, what we need is to rediscover these abilities. We may even need to discover them for the first time. That is why healing from depression is about rediscovery and not fixing something that is broken. 

Healing is about rediscovering these abilities that bring us pleasure. It is rediscovering how to fully experience these things. The darkness of depression has hidden pleasure, our ability to engage in life, and our ability to be fully present. Healing allows us to rediscover what the darkness has hidden. 

Healing looks different for each of us. Our paths may appear different. For some a combination of medication and therapy brings healing. For others it is a combination of therapy and TMS or esketamine that allows rediscovery to occur. Therapy is often a key component of the healing process no matter which route we choose. In therapy we work to find the light that depression has snuffed out. We learn strategies to help us. We learn what experiencing pleasure looks like for us. We learn how to find joy. Therapy allows us to rediscover what we need to live life in the light of healing. 

There is no shame when we are unable to rediscover what brings us pleasure. Healing takes time. It is not linear. Healing can be a scrambled mess with ups and downs, ebbs and flows. We are not being fixed. We are engaging in a process of rediscovery. That means we need to work at healing. We need support systems. We need people in our lives who are invested in our healing. These people guide us in rediscovering what the darkness of depression has shut out of our lives. 

When you live with depression, healing is not about being fixed. It is about engaging in the process of rediscovery. It requires searching for what brings us pleasure. At times depression is going to be heavy. Its darkness will be consuming. We need to allow ourselves the grace to search for rediscovery at our own pace.

Viewing healing as rediscovery rather than fixing allows us to recognize that there is not something wrong with us. There is a blanket of darkness over us, but we can rediscover how to lift that blanket. We can find the light of healing and rediscover what brings us pleasure in life. Depression is not something to be fixed. Rather it is a darkness that can be replaced by light. Think about the title of this blog, Bent Not Broken, Living with Depression. We are not broken; we are just a little bent and need to rediscover what brings us pleasure.

 

 

 

 

 

The Hidden Work of Living with Depression and Mental Illness

                  Living with mental illness is not easy. Most days it is downright hard. Even with treatment, there are days that are just difficult to navigate. Having hard days does not mean we are not trying to heal. In last week’s post, You Can't Just "Snap Out of Depression": Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 4), I discussed how we cannot just wish depression away. Healing from depression requires work, but even though we are doing the work, we are still going to have times when we struggle.

                  As I have shared many times I have lived with depression and anxiety most of my life. I have done a ton of work to try to heal. There are many times when I benefit from that work. I experience times when my mental illness lifts. These times are a direct result of the effort I put into healing. I think many people with mental illness can relate to this experience. We put forth effort to heal. That may be through therapy, taking medication, receiving non-traditional treatments such as TMS and esketamine, and utilizing our coping strategies. When you live with mental illness, you become acutely aware of the fact it is not going to just go away. We need to work at it. 

                  To those on the outside it may not seem like we are working to get better. A lot of our work is done in private or with our mental health providers. While I am open about my mental health journey, others battle in silence. It is a personal choice. For a long time, I kept my battle behind closed doors. During that time, it was best for me to work on mental health that way. It is not easy to be open about mental health. I choose to share my journey in the hopes of helping others finding healing. Still, it is not easy. Despite my openness, there is a lot that I do not share outside of my mental health team. There is a lot of hard work that others do not see. 

                  We cannot see inside each other’s minds. That is where a lot of the hard work takes place. There is a lot of self-talk that goes on when we are fighting mental illness. My depression and anxiety “talk” to me. No, I do not mean I am hearing voices. Depression and anxiety control the thoughts in my head. These thoughts tear me down at times. They can be loud. These thoughts spew negativity at me. So, I need a plan to talk back to them. For me and many others talking back to depression and anxiety involves telling the thoughts to stop. We need to point out the lies and the falseness in the thoughts our mental illness hurls at us. This is hard work. Imagine having to always be aware of the lies your own mind is telling you. Not only do we need to be aware of them, but we also need to have responses ready to contradict what we are “hearing”. This is part of the hard work of living with a mental illness.

                  One of the ways we learn this skill is through therapy. My psychologist has been instrumental in guiding me through self-talk. I have learned that it is necessary for me to work at talking back to the thoughts depression and anxiety like to fill my head with. Therapy is an important part of the hard work we do to battle mental illness. The therapy experience is different for each one of us. For me, having a place where I can discuss what my depression and anxiety are telling me and being able to share how those words are affecting me is key to fighting my mental illness. I have been in therapy for a long time. It is part of the work I need to do. I know that therapy helps me and that I need consistent therapy sessions. 

 In addition to talking back to our thoughts, we need to manage medications or treatments. This requires commitment. We need to communicate with our psychiatrists. It is important to share how medications are affecting us and whether we are benefitting from our prescriptions. The same is true of treatments such as TMS, esketamine, or ECT. We need to let our providers know how we are handling the treatment and whether it is effective. Whether it is medication or non-traditional treatments, we need to be able to have discussions about how we are doing. That is not always easy. I find that sometimes I do not know how to explain what I am experiencing. At times I am too overwhelmed to clearly express what I am feeling or how treatment is working. That does not mean that I am not working hard. It just demonstrates how complicated living with mental illness can be. It helps to have a mental health provider or team who can help us when we struggle expressing all that we need to tell them.

My point in sharing this is that we can be doing all the work we need to do and still have hard days. Living with mental illness can be tough. It often is. The hard work is worth it, though. We will have days that are better than others. Not every day will be good. Struggle is a part of mental illness. Being frustrated with that struggle is understandable. So, it is important for us to recognize that even when we are doing the work, life can be hard. There are times when we are going to want to give up. I have been there many times. I know I will want to give up at times in the future. When we want to give up or when we feel like things are just too hard, we need to reach out to our mental health providers or join a support group. Remember, we are not alone. There is help. 

It is important to remember that healing is a process. There will be ups and downs. Some days will be harder than others. You can be doing the work and still have hard days. That is okay. Let’s make a promise to each other to remember that even when things are hard, there is hope. 

 

Update: 

In last week’s post, Women's Mental Health and Depression: Honoring the Invisible Load on International Women's Day, I mentioned the artist, Yayoi Kusama, who lives with mental illness. I was reading news headlines the other day when I came across an article about an art exhibit in Germany that is featuring this 97-year-old artist. I thought I would share the article for any of you who might be interested: German museum celebrates Japanese artist Kusama in vast new exhibit.

 

Thursday’s Post:

Check back Thursday, March 19^th, for the final post in my series: Debunking Common Depression Myths.

 

 

 

 

                                                

Intrusive Thoughts

                  Many of us with mental illness are plagued with intrusive thoughts. I thought it might be a good idea to share what intrusive thoughts are and how they affect people. As with most aspects of mental illness, people can be affected by intrusive thoughts in different ways. 

                  In an article for Harvard Health Publishing, Kelly Bilodeau defines intrusive thoughts as “…a strange, disturbing thought or troubling image that pops into your mind.” She states that intrusive thoughts affect about six million Americans. Bilodeau cites three signs that you are experiencing intrusive thoughts: 1) “The thought is unusual for you”, 2) “The thought is bothersome”, and 3) The thought feels hard to control.”  Stress and anxiety can trigger intrusive thoughts. These thoughts are involuntary and tend to pop into a person’s mind. Intrusive thoughts feel out of your control. In addition, they are often scary, inappropriate, or might conflict with your beliefs. 

                  Intrusive thoughts can happen to anyone. An occasional intrusive thought is normal. When these thoughts are more frequent, or a person obsesses over them, they might be a part of a mental health disorder. Some mental health disorders in which intrusive thoughts can commonly occur include obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). However, they are not limited to these. 

                  There are some common themes that intrusive thoughts might revolve around. These include harm, sexual content, religion/morality, contamination, and doubt/mistakes. The thoughts are different for individual people. It can be difficult to deal with these thoughts. Even though they are just thoughts, they can be distressing. Most of the time intrusive thoughts are harmless and manageable. However, when they become frequent or intense, it is important to seek professional help. It is also necessary to seek help if they cause significant distress, guilt, or anxiety. If the thoughts involve planning to act on violent or self-harm, you should seek help right away as well.  A mental health professional can provide support and help in dealing with intrusive thoughts.

                  I have struggled with intrusive thoughts at times. When I experience these thoughts, they usually involve self-harm or suicidal thoughts. These thoughts are different from the suicidal ideation I experience at other times because of major depression. When it is an intrusive thought, it pops into my head out of nowhere. I can be engaged in something or not thinking about anything in particular, when suddenly a thought about wanting to die will surface. Often, it does not last long. Sometimes it is just a passing thought. Still, it is distressing and painful. These thoughts seem real even though I know they are just thoughts, and in these moments, I do not have an intent to act. 

                  Therapy has helped me in dealing with these thoughts. Acknowledging the thoughts as intrusive thoughts helps. When I talk with my psychologist about my thoughts, I can recognize that they are not real and that what the thought is telling me is not what I want to do. Another practice I use to help me with intrusive thoughts is journaling. I have shared a lot about how journaling helps me. It is a way for me to get thoughts out of my head. So, if I can write about the intrusive thoughts, I can get them out of my mind. 

                  Intrusive thoughts affect many of us. While they are not easy to deal with, mental health professionals employ several therapies/treatments to combat intrusive thoughts. One therapy is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This is a form of talk therapy that helps people identify and challenge unhelpful thought patterns and beliefs. The goal of CBT is to reframe negative thoughts. Another therapy is exposure and responsive prevention. It is a form of CBT that is often used with OCD. In this therapy the person is taught that the thoughts are not dangerous and that the feared outcomes do not occur. Another therapy is acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which helps people change their relationship with the intrusive thoughts instead of trying to completely eliminate the thoughts. In addition to these therapies, medication and lifestyle changes may also be implemented.

                  Intrusive thoughts can be a symptom of mental illness. If you are experiencing intrusive thoughts, discuss them with your mental health provider. If the thoughts are causing serious distress or you feel you may act on a harmful thought, it may be necessary to reach out to the 988 Lifeline or 911. You can also go to the nearest emergency room. 

                  Intrusive thoughts can cause distress for the individual. That is why it is important to seek help and support. If you experience intrusive thoughts, you are not alone. Reach out for help. You do not need to deal with these thoughts alone.

 

Making the Most Out of the Therapy Experience

                  Fortunately, people are more willing to go to therapy today than in the past. Therapy is an important aspect of treatment for mental health disorders. I am not a therapist, but I have spent my adult life in therapy to help me cope with major depression and anxiety. While that doesn’t mean I know everything about therapy, I think it gives me some perspective on how therapy works, how it is beneficial, and how patients need to do their part. Today I would like to talk about making the most out of the therapy experience.

                  I first saw a therapist when I was in college many years ago. It was the start of a healing process for me. In my twenties I went a few years without therapy. Those were very hard years. I found my way back to therapy when I was 29 because of a significant worsening in my depression. It was the most important thing I could have done.  I am lucky, I have been with the same therapist, a psychologist who understands me and supports me, since then. 

                  It’s hard to think back that far and remember the details. I know that one of the first things he helped me was to quit drinking. As a teenager I learned to self-medicate my depression with alcohol. It was not helpful, but it is how I coped for about 15 years. Dr. K, my psychologist, guided me through the stages of becoming sober, while also addressing my depression, which had become intense. I am proud to say that with his help I am 22+ years sober. 

                  I learned early on that I had to do my share of the work. Healing takes place through the interaction between patient and therapist. We’ve talked a lot over the years as my depression has ebbed and flowed. I lean on him to make sense of a lot of what I am feeling. What helps is how he reflects my words back to me. This enables me to play an active role in my therapy experience. One way I have worked on this is through journaling. I write in my journal after appointments. It helps me remember his advice and allows me to delve further into our conversations. Writing helps me process my world. So, it makes sense that I would write after therapy appointments. Sometimes I share what I have written with him. Doing so provides affirmation of what I am thinking. 

                  It is important to do the work necessary to process what you talk about with your therapist. I do that by writing. There are other ways to engage in this process. Meditation might be a way some people process their sessions. Something as simple as going for a walk and thinking about your conversation can help. The important thing is to hold onto what you work on in therapy. It won’t be as beneficial if you just think about it while you are in session. Processing should take place in and out of the session. 

                  One think Dr. K has taught me is self-hypnosis. We end every session with a bit of hypnosis. It is only a few minutes, but he always gives me a hypnotic suggestion that I can take into my week. When I am struggling, I use self-hypnosis to recreate the relaxation created during the in-session hypnosis. This allows me to approach whatever is weighing on me with a clearer head.  Often, I use self-hypnosis when I can’t sleep because my mind is whirling with thoughts. I take what I have learned in the therapy session and use it to help me when I need to cope on my own. 

                  Another way to enhance therapy is to become involved in mental health activities. I choose to do this through NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). Through this organization I have learned to speak about my mental health in a positive way. I have shared my story with others. In doing so, I support myself and let others know they are not alone. Dr. K has encouraged my involvement with NAMI. It has allowed me to grow in my understanding of my mental illness and in my ability to help others. 

                  Reading about mental illness or listening to mental health podcasts, like The Giving Voice To Depression Podcast can also help. I find this enables me to understand that I am not alone. So often depression isolates us. It tells us we are alone. When we are struggling it is difficult to see that it is an illness causing us to feel the way we do. I find that by listening to podcasts like this I feel more connected and less alone. The Giving Voice to Depression Podcast has a wealth of episodes that can help individuals who are living with depression. 

                  My point in this post is that therapy in isolation is not enough. A therapist can help us, but we must do our part. We need to be active participants in the therapeutic process. That is the only way to heal.  Unfortunately, there is no magic cure. Healing takes effort. I know it is difficult to make that effort when we are struggling. I have been there. I have struggled. The work we do when we are feeling a little better can help with this.  If you are not sure how to get the most out of your therapy sessions, ask your therapist for support with this work. It can make a difference.  

Signs You Might Need to Talk to a Therapist

                Therapy.  The word conjures up many misleading ideas   There is stigma attached to therapy.  Often, people hide the fact that they go to therapy because of this stigma.  We need to break down the stigma.  Going to therapy should be as normalized as going to the gym or a yoga session for physical health.  Seeing a therapist should be seen as just as important as seeing a doctor for physical health. 

                  I have been in therapy all my adult life.  You may wonder if it works why do I have to continue to go.  I have a mental illness.  It needs to be treated.  Therapy is part of my treatment.  I work on different things with my psychologist.  As my journey with depression continues, I find that I need support with different things. Therapy provides that support.  It is a vital part of my treatment.  

                  What are some signs that seeing a therapist might be beneficial to you?  Having a mental health diagnosis is one sign.  Although not everyone with a mental illness finds it necessary to work with a therapist.  As with physical illnesses, mental illness is individualized, and treatment plans can vary from person to person.  

Some reasons to consider therapy include:

 

·      Depression

·      Anxiety

·      Feeling overwhelmed

·      Overwhelming emotions

·      Loss of interest in activities

·      Anger

·      Relationship issues/struggles

·      Mood affecting relationships and/or work

·      Grief

·      A specific phobia

·      Isolation

·      Destructive behaviors

·      Substance abuse

 

 

The above are just some reasons a person might need to consider therapy.  People

go to therapy for many reasons.  Sometimes it is short-term.  Other times it can be for longer periods.  Again, it is based on the individual.  

                  How do you get in to see a therapist?  One way is to talk to your primary care provider and ask for a referral.  You can also do a Google search for therapists in your area and start making calls to see who has openings for new patients.  It might be necessary to call your insurance provider and ask for a list of therapists in their network.  If you don’t have insurance, there are many therapists who don’t deal with insurance.  You can also contact NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) for help finding a therapist.  If you are in a crisis situation, call 988, the mental health hotline.

 

                  What should you look for in a therapist?

 

                  I consider myself lucky because I have a great therapist. He is a psychologist.  Some therapists are psychologists.  Some are MFTs.  See my post my March 7^th post – Different Types of Mental Health Professionals for more information on the different types of therapists.  

                  A good therapist will listen to you.  They will give you the space to talk.  Therapists use different strategies to help you work on what you need.  You want a therapist you feel comfortable with. You should feel safe with your therapist.  Setting goals is an important part of therapy.  It is also important to have a therapist who is willing to work as part of a team, especially if you also have a psychiatrist or if your primary care provider is involved in your mental health.  I have found the team approach to be vital to my journey.  

                  Only you can determine if the therapist is right for you.  There is nothing wrong with deciding you need a different therapist if you feel one isn’t right for you.  It is important that you feel comfortable enough to open up to your therapist. If you can’t be open with your therapist, you won’t receive the benefits you need from therapy.  

                  I would be lost without my psychologist.  The therapy relationship is an important aspect of my treatment.  I know that I can talk to him about anything.  My comfort level allows me to trust, which in turn allows me to heal.  I know I can contact him when I am n crisis. Trust is key to the patient/therapist relationship.  

                  As I mentioned at the beginning, there is a stigma attached to therapy.  The more we normalize going to therapy, the more we can break down that stigma.  If you find yourself in need of therapy, please reach out and find a therapist.

 

Benefits of Therapy for Depression

         Depression is a real illness.  It requires treatment. Therapy is an important part of that treatment.  There are different types of therapy.  Some of types of therapy include cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, humanistic therapy, integrative therapy, and interpersonal psychotherapy. In this post I will speak about therapy in general terms.  I will be referring to forms of psychotherapy or talk therapy.

The purpose of psychotherapy is to help a person identify and change troubling emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.  This is usually done in a one-on-one setting.  The provider is a licensed mental health provider such as a therapist or psychologist.  Therapy can take place in group settings as well.

I have engaged in therapy most of my adult life.  Psychotherapy has helped me develop coping skills and allowed me to better understand the shifts in my mood that are beyond my control.  I find that my mood improves when I am able to discuss the events and emotions that lead to my depression.  In therapy I am guided to understandings of my thoughts.  When I have a better understanding of what my thoughts are telling me, I can cope better.  I find that just having an open and safe space to talk is beneficial.  

So, what are the benefits of psychotherapy?  There are many benefits.  These benefits depend on the person and what he, she, or they need.  Some common benefits include:

·      Improving overall mental health

·      Increasing self-awareness

·      Developing coping strategies

·      Developing healthier communication strategies

·      Confronting anxiety

·      Getting through a crisis

·      Developing healthy relationships

·      Navigating trauma

·      Easing of symptoms

 

All these benefits are important.  Improved overall mental health will lead to

improved quality of life and easing of symptoms. When we increase our self-awareness, we better understand what triggers us and what leads to changes in our mood.  Developing coping strategies is important because it teaches us how to function when our mood is trying to drag us down.  Healthy communication strategies allow us to express what we are going through, which can help loved ones understand us and offer help.  Developing healthy relationships is tied to this communication skills.  When we experience depression, it is difficult to maintain relationships.   Therapy can help in this area by providing us with communication skills and self-awareness. 

                  Therapy is especially important when we are in crisis or trying to navigate trauma.  Having a psychologist or therapist gives a person someone to reach out to in times of crisis.  In therapy we can learn strategies to take when we are in crisis.  For example, I have learned how identify that I am crisis and how to contact my psychologist in moments of crisis.  I have also learned that resources such as 988 are available as well.  Being in therapy has allowed me to develop an understanding that reaching out for help, whether it be from my mental health team or 988 is not only important, but it is okay.

The benefits of therapy can be instrumental when living with depression.  We cannot overcome depression on our own.  Therapy is a key part of healing.  Some people benefit from short-term therapy.  Others need it throughout their lives.  For me therapy is as necessary as my blood pressure medication.  I need therapy as a routine part of my life.  It is a part of my healthcare.  I don’t miss my therapy sessions because I know it affects my healing. 

                  People often say just deal with it, buck up and be strong.  There are social media posts that encourage people to just push through.  We are told to smile or just get through it.  Depression does not respond to that mentality.  It is not possible to just grin and bear it.  People with depression need treatment and part of that treatment is therapy.  Going to therapy needs to be normalized.  We go to the doctor when we have the flu or other illness.  In the same way that going to the doctor is normal, we need to make it normal to go therapy.  The stigma that exists around going to therapy needs to be lifted.  It is okay to go to therapy.  Therapy is necessary treatment for people with mental illnesses such as depression.  

                  Today there are avenues to therapy that didn’t exist a few years ago. Many therapists are available for online sessions.  There are therapists’ groups who advertise on social media.  In addition, primary care providers can refer you to a therapist.  If you are affected by depression, therapy can provide you with many benefits. There is no shame in going to therapy. I wouldn’t be able to write posts or maintain this blog if it were not for therapy.  Therapy has improved my quality of life.  I encourage anyone who is struggling or even just needs some help to seek out therapy.

 

 

                  

 

 

 

 

Finding the Right Therapist

            Therapy is a key part of living with depression.  I believe it is vital to have the right therapist. Whether that person is a psychologist, counselor, or therapist finding the right one is vital.  Finding the right one can be a process.  There will be some that just don’t meet your needs.  That doesn’t mean that he or she is not a good therapist.  It just means the fit is not right.  

            In the early years of my depression, I saw several different therapists.  I have been with the same therapist, a psychologist, for 21 years now.  He provides for my needs and understands me.  Therapy is often a difficult journey in which you face many of your challenges head on.  For me it has been beneficial to be with the same psychologist for years because he knows me, and I am comfortable talking to him.  Therapy requires openness and a willingness to trust.  That has built up for me.  I know that when I go into a therapy session, I will make progress.  That progress may look different each time.  That is okay.  It is part of the journey.  

            So, what should you look for in a good therapist.  A simple search of the internet will give you many qualities.  Here are some that I feel are important:

 

·      Trustworthiness

·      Empathy

·      Communication Skills

·      The ability to listen to what is said and not said

·      Compassion

·      Critical Thinking

·      Optimism

·      Observation Skills

·      Hopeful/Positive

·      Patience

 

            It is important to feel comfortable with your therapist.  You will spend a lot of time working with him or her.  Your relationship, while professional, needs to be sincere.  It needs to be built on trust.  As the patient, you need to know that your therapist has your best interests at heart.  Your therapist needs to know that you will be honest with him or her.  It is not good to hide things from your therapist.  Don’t paint a picture you think he or she wants to hear.  Your therapist needs to know your reality.  He or she deserves to know your reality.  That is the only way they can help you battle depression (or other mental illness).  

            Therapy is a two-way street.  For it to be successful there must be commitment from both the patient and the therapist.  Together you embark on a journey.  You will navigate many aspects of your depression.  Some sessions will be the “feel good” type.  Others will be deep and gut-wrenching.  Both types are necessary.  

            Whether you already have a therapist, or you are just beginning your search, remember that the decision of fit is yours to make.  You need to be proactive for yourself, but it’s also okay to ask for help.  Make the best of your patient-therapist relationship.  He or she is a key member of your support team and will make a difference in your treatment. 

 

Check back Thursday, July 27^th for a new post.