A Couple Poems to Share

                  As I mentioned earlier this month, April is National Poetry Month. I had intended to post more poems this month, but my thoughts which guide my posts, took me in a different direction. So, today I will post a couple poems. 

                  Poetry is healing for me. I have been writing poetry for a long time and it still brings me healing. This morning, I received my esketamine treatment and I wrote a couple Haiku poems afterwards. Sometimes I think in poetry. That may sound weird, but it happens. Poems just start forming in my mind. Most of the time I get them written down before I lose them. Writing poems is a gift that I have been blessed with.

Let’s get to the poems. One is about cancer. I wrote it this week. It is a reflection on my cancer. It might seem strange that I refer to cancer as a gift. It is definitely not a gift in the traditional sense, but I have learned from cancer. In that sense it is a gift. The poem is titled Cancer, A Gift. 

The second poem is about living with mental illness. The title is Time Inside My Mind. It is an invitation to see into my mind and the minds of others who live with mental illness. While we are all different, we share a similar struggle, a similar pain. If others could understand what it is like to live with mental illness, perhaps there would be less stigma. 

I encourage you to really think about the poems. Take a moment to just listen to what the poems are saying. Since it is National Poetry Month, I would like to remind readers that my poetry books are available on Amazon and can be ordered in bookstores. (A Light Amidst the Darkness, Curative Quest, and Conscious Connection)

Saturday is Independent Bookstore Day. Visit an independent bookstore and maybe purchase a poetry book. My poetry books, A Light Amidst the Darkness and Curative Quest can be ordered in bookstores. Here’s a quick plug for my favorite independent bookstore, Vroman's Bookstore. Shopping at independent bookstores really helps. I know my books are available on Amazon, but that is how self-published writers need to get their books out in the world. I still love purchasing books from independent bookstores. There is something about the smell of books and walking through aisles of books. 

Back to the poetry. Here are two poems I wrote this month:

 

 

 

Cancer, A Gift

 

As I face a new day,

I see cancer fading.

The battle has been difficult,

But I have learned so much.

My cancer has taught me to appreciate life,

Taught me the value of life.

Before cancer I was just going through the motions.

Living, but not living.

Cancer tore me down,

Left me lying in bed

Fighting waves of nausea and pain.

Not knowing if I would live or die.

Healers assembled.

Some with medical degrees,

Others with supportive thoughts.

Together they lifted me through the battle

Against the war cancer wages against me

While at the same time teaching me to reach for hope,

A hope held by these healers assembled at my side.

Hope, a gift masked by the illness.

My battle with cancer has not been in vain.

I have lessons to share and

Hope to pass onto others who face this relentless illness.

Cancer may never disappear, but

The gift of hope remains.

 

 

Time Inside My Mind

 

If you could spend time inside my mind

Maybe you would understand, and

Be a little kinder.

You would hear the conversations that trouble me.

My mind tearing me down while I beg it to stop.

 

If you could spend time inside my mind

Maybe it would explain how I feel and

Help you understand that I really do not want to live this way.

I want to smile and experience joy.

The depression gripping my brain steals that experience from me.

 

If you could spend time inside my mind

Maybe you would see I have an illness.

This illness robs my mind of all I could be.

It leaves me in a world of darkness,

A world I struggle to escape.

 

If you could spend time inside my mind

Maybe you would reach out and offer a hand

A little help from you might allow me to overcome this dark illness.

Then I could live a life free from the pain I long to escape and

Just maybe conquer the depression once and for all.

 

The Gift of Poetry

                  April is National Poetry Month. For me poetry is a major part of my life and my journey with mental illness. Depression and anxiety have haunted me since I was a teenager. Fortunately, poetry has been by my side almost as long. I started writing poetry when I was around 15 years old. I didn’t know what I was doing. In the beginning I was probably just writing words on the page. I remember a teacher encouraging me to write. I don’t know if she knew she was encouraging me to release all that was trapped inside of my mind. That’s what my poetry was doing. 

                  In the years since I have written countless poems. Some of them are just for me. Others have found their way into my books and been read at open mic poetry readings. Still, others have allowed me to better communicate with my mental health team. This is one of the great things about poetry; it belongs in many places and serves many purposes. 

                  I have admired the writings of many poets including Sylvia Plath and Emily Dickinson. More recently I have been impressed by the work of young poets such as Amanda Gorman. Poets share a unique magic as they paint pictures with words. Are there any poets that resonate with you? Share in the comments.

                  For me poetry has a healing power. I find strength in releasing my thoughts and feelings in verse. The words flow out of me. They pull the depression and anxiety out of my mind. I feel the poetry and know that it is bringing me a bit of healing.

                  Sometimes I write poems for others. To me that is the most meaningful gift I can give because the poem is a piece of me. The poem is me speaking to you in a way that I may not be able to speak aloud. 

                  Today I would like to share a poem that I wrote the other day. No one has read this poem yet. Enjoy. 

                  I will share a few more poems this month to celebrate National Poetry Month.

 

A Poem Must Speak

 

A poem must speak.

Its words giving meaning to what the poet experiences.

Her emotions spill onto the page.

 

A poem must speak.

The poet forming the words trapped within her.

Sharing a piece of her life.

 

A poem must speak.

Words expressing meaning and

Allowing the reader into the poet’s inner world.

 

A poem must speak.

An interpretation of pain and joy emerge as

Words flow and emotion jumps off the page.

 

A poem must speak.

Creating a deep connection between poet and reader,

A moment of understanding.

 

As the poem speaks,

The poet breathes a sigh of relief.