"Cancer Hasn’t Won"

           I wasn’t going to post today.  I have had a few really bad days.  I am just not feeling well.  Saturday was probably the worst day I have had in this cancer fight.  I am so grateful to have my Aunt Holly by my side to get me through this.

Saturday night I started to write a poem titled “Why?”.  It turned into a 3-page stream of consciousness about my fears and feelings.  I am not ready to share that yet.  I am not sure when I will be.  I cried as I wrote.  Sometime later that night, I wrote another poem, titled “Cancer Hasn’t Won”.  I actually don’t remember writing it, but it is in my journal and no one else had access to it.  I shared it with my friend, Sharon. When I told her that I didn’t remember writing it, she immediately said that it was the whisper.  She has mentioned the whisper before.  It is the voice telling me to fight.  A few weeks ago, I posted a poem about that whisper, “Whispers Above the Water”.  Sharon encouraged me to post “Cancer Hasn’t Won” today.  So, here it is.  Hopefully, on Thursday I will feel better and can write a longer post.

 

Cancer Hasn’t Won

 

Cancer hasn’t won,

Though I am feeling beaten.

Cancer hasn’t won,

Despite how drained I am.

Cancer hasn’t won,

Even though I feel like quitting.

Cancer hasn’t won,

Despite knocking me on my back.

Cancer hasn’t won.

I haven’t given up the fight.

Cancer hasn’t won.

There is a bit of strength left inside of me.

Cancer hasn’t won,

With my last bit of strength, I rise,

And show cancer it hasn’t won yet.