Reaching Out for Help

                  So many people with depression or other mental illness live in the darkness unable to reach out for help. For most of my life that was me. I didn’t reach out because I didn’t know I could. I feared being ridiculed. I thought I would be unheard. These fears are a reality when you live with mental illness. I have faced stigma from family, friends, in the workplace, and in the healthcare setting. 

Perhaps the worst was when I was ridiculed by a physician’s assistant because of my mental health. I wrote about that in a previous post (https://depressionbentnotbroken.blogspot.com/2024/01/turning-hurtful-words-into-healing.html ). Fear of stigma and ridicule and the lack of understanding of mental illness make it difficult for people who are suffering to reach out. It shouldn’t be that way.

We need to create an atmosphere where it is okay to say, “I need help,” or “I am struggling.” We have come a long way. Back when my depression started in the late 1980s, I couldn’t reach out for help. There was no understanding. Today, society is more understanding, but we still have a long way to go. 

My intent in this post is to encourage anyone who is living with mental illness to reach out when they need support. Is that hard to do? Yes. Is reaching out worth it? Definitely. Reaching out means taking a risk. It is hard to know where to start. Who do you trust? How do you know who can provide the help and support you need? Those are individual questions, but I think there are some commonalities that we can rely on. In most cases, if the depression or other mental illness has never been addressed, I would recommend starting with your primary care provider. Most are going to be responsive. I believe the primary care provider who hurt me is an exception. Today most primary care providers understand they have a role in mental health. Let this provider refer you to psychological care. 

You can also contact organizations such as NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) To find your local chapter click here: https://www.nami.org/. They provide resources and have groups that can make a difference. There is also the 988 helpline. They can connect you to resources and provide assistance in mental health emergencies.

What if you are already diagnosed and you have mental health support? Reaching out for help can still be difficult at times. You may feel like you must wait for your next appointment to get support. Maybe you are having difficulty expressing what you are going through. It is okay to reach out to your mental health provider when you are struggling. It is normal to feel like maybe you should handle it on your own or to think you are taking up their time. However, most mental health providers would rather you reach out than struggle in silence. There are times when you need help. Be honest with yourself. There is no shame in not being able to handle mental illness alone all the time. Sure, there are moments when we might have to push through on our own, but that doesn’t mean we can’t reach out. One thing that helps is to have a safety plan. For more on safety plans, check out my article on the NAMI Glendale website (https://namiglendale.org/how-a-safety-plan-can-ease-a-mental-health-crisis/).

Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness. It is a necessary part of life when you live with mental illness. These illnesses can be overwhelming at times. We can’t expect to be able to handle it on our own all the time. All illnesses require care. Mental illness is no different. Stigma can make it hard, but reaching out can make a difference in our lives. 

I think if we asked our family and friends, they would rather us reach out to them when we are struggling than speak at our funerals. That may sound extreme, but in many cases, it is reality. As hard as it can be at times, I encourage people to reach out when the darkness of mental illness is heavy. Know that it takes courage to reach out, but that courage is in you. Even though it is not easy, reaching out is worth it.