Get Cancer Screenings - (Formerly titled Fear)

                  I just learned that the actress, Shannen Dougherty passed away. She lost her battle with stage 4 breast cancer. Her death hit me because not only was she battling the same illness I am fighting, but she was also around my age. I read about her battle. She had been fighting for years. She chose to live as she fought. It sounds like she had a very positive approach to her battle. In the end, the cancer took her life.

                  I know this is a depression blog, but reading about Dougherty’s passing has entered my thoughts and my depression and anxiety are already at work finding similarities and making doomsday comments in my head. Maybe those thoughts would be there without the depression, but my mental illnesses intensify the thoughts. 

                  Obviously, I didn’t know Dougherty. I do know her struggle. My cancer battle has not been as long as hers, but I still understand. I am sure we shared the fear the consumes you when you hear the words stage 4 breast cancer. I would assume we both shed tears when we learned the cancer had spread to other parts of our bodies. Fear of dying likely consumed both of us. I read that she was working to raise money and awareness for cancer. She was using her fight to help others. I admire that. Even though I have cancer I have chosen to spread awareness about the mental illness I fight. Now, I wonder if I should do more for cancer awareness. This blog is my platform. So, I figure it is okay to step aside from the depression for one day and write about cancer. 

                  Let’s start with early detection. I encourage everyone to have the tests recommended by their doctors. Women, get mammograms and cervical exams. In most cases these tests will detect cancer early. You need to get these tests regularly. If you experience unusual symptoms see your doctor. It is better to check than to wait until it is too late. Early detection allows doctors to treat cancer in its beginning stages, which increases survival chances. Cancer can be an aggressive bitch. Do all you can to catch it early. 

                  Dougherty lost her battle at a young age, but she shared her story and in doing so likely encouraged some women to get mammograms. Sharing stories is important. I share my story of life with depression, anxiety, and cancer in the hopes it helps someone. We are all in this life together. If my story helps someone than it has served a purpose. My fight will not have been in vain. 

                  Reading about Dougherty while I am waiting for pet scan results scares me. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t think about my own mortality. I have pains that I can’t explain. My head tells me the pains mean more cancer. Even though my oncologist has told me that the pains are not likely cancer, my head won’t let go of those thoughts. I hope to get the results in a few days. I’m waiting for my phone to ring, hoping it is my oncologist with good news. What if it is not? Well, then I guess I jump back into fight mode. Fighting cancer is not easy, but fighting depression hasn’t been either and I’ve done it. 

                  My thoughts and prayers go out to Dougherty’s family. I hope they know that her openness about her cancer helped people. I have a much smaller platform, but I hope my openness can help others. Cancer is a terrible illness, one that hopefully doctors will eradicate someday. Until then we need to continue sharing our stories and encourage others to get the necessary tests to detect cancer early. Lives depend on it.