Describing Depression

"What is depression like? It's like drowning even though you know how to swim." - often attributed to Elizabeth Wurtzel

 

                  I have often been asked to describe depression. I write a lot about depression. This blog is just one place where I write about it. Poetry is the form I am most comfortable writing about depression. I also like to read how other people describe it. While I find that there is a commonality in how we describe depression, there is also a uniqueness to each of our descriptions. 

                  The image I use most often to describe depression is darkness. For me it is a heavy, blanketing darkness. It spreads over me erasing the light around me. This is how I experience depression. When I share my image, I usually hear from others that they can relate. That is reassuring in the sense that it means depression is real. I am not alone. Depression affects so many of us. 

                  Recently, I used the metaphors of a winding road and an uninvited guest to describe depression. These metaphors aptly describe depression for me. Whether it is darkness, a winding road, or an uninvited guest, these images share the idea that depression is not easy. I think being able to create metaphors or images to describe depression indicates that I have an understanding of what I live with. I may not fully understand depression, but by writing about it I am processing it. I am working with depression as I express how it feels.

                  Sometimes I search online for how others describe depression. The quote above is one that I connected with. Depression is like drowning. It seems like a similar feeling to being blanketed by darkness. Drowning even when you know how to swim indicates that you need more than the knowledge of swimming to survive the water. 

How does this relate to depression?  Many of us who live with depression know the coping skills to fight depression. We have used those skills. We know that we are not our depression. But there are times when that knowledge is not enough. Depression can be stronger than that knowledge just as a strong current can make swimming difficult. When depression is heavy, when it is bearing down on us, it can be difficult to cope with it. I think I have a solid understanding of how depression affects me, but there are still times when I need a “lifeguard” to help me navigate it. I can know what I need to do and at the same time I can be paralyzed by depression.  

However we describe depression, it is painful. Depression makes life difficult. Depression is an illness. We may each describe depression in our own way, but however we describe depression, it can be debilitating. Putting our depression into words gives us a power over it. Describing it allows us to look at it from the outside. It enables us to share with others what we are experiencing. I believe that the more we discuss it, the more likely we are to be able to process depression. Of course, there are going to be times when depression has the upper hand. Times when we need a lifeguard to help us through the depression. I will continue to write about my depression. I encourage others to describe depression in whatever way works for them. Our descriptions help us and may just help others.