The Importance of Support and Connection

                  Living with an illness, whether mental or physical is difficult. Despite our best efforts we often cannot get through it alone. We have doctors, therapists, family, and friends to help us. Sometimes that is not enough. There is something missing. We need the support of those who understand what we are going through. While family and friends will try, and many are there for whatever we need, there is a sense of understanding that is missing. This is where support groups can be valuable.

                  A support group is an organized group of people living with the same condition or situation. I have gone to support groups for my mental health and for cancer. These groups and the people in the groups have helped me and I hope I have helped others.  A support group is a safe space to talk about what we are going through. It is a place where we find understanding and connection. 

                  Currently, I attend a cancer support group for people with stage 4 cancer. It is led by two therapists. We are on Zoom, which makes attending easier. I have been struggling with something related to my cancer. I was hesitant to share what I had experienced and how it had affected me because I thought it was insignificant compared to what others are going through. I forced myself to share. I was met with understanding and connection. I was able to talk about the situation and hear the perspective of others. It was helpful for me. Perhaps understanding and connection are the gifts of support groups. 

                  The therapist who leads the group said that every story matters. That struck me. I think our stories are all connected in some way. In this group maybe it is that we all know the struggle to keep living despite our diagnoses. Maybe it is that we are all battling an illness and still need to deal with everything else life throws at us. Our stories are connected in some way. That connection is our humanity. 

                  I have felt similar connections in mental health support groups. I have attended support groups facilitated through NAMI. They have a group called Connections (NAMI Connections). These groups are for individuals living with a mental illness and are facilitated by trained peers who have a mental illness. These groups also thrive on connection. I feel safe in these groups. I can share what I am going through and listen to the stories of others. Together we can thrive. 

Sometimes you need to be ready for a support group or you might have to try a couple to find the right one. I remember years ago I attended a support group for depression. I was not in place where I was ready for that kind of sharing and connection. It wasn’t a good fit for me at that particular time. Maybe it was the group. Maybe it was me. Either way I wasn’t in a place where I could share with others. I was closed in, which isn’t healthy.

 Luckily, in time, I found NAMI and later the cancer support group I am a part of. I am able to be a part of the connection now. It benefits me even on the days when I don’t say much. Just listening helps me on some days.

Support groups don’t always have to be formal. I think about when I was teaching. Lunch time was our support group time. Of course, we thought we were just having lunch together. We were all teachers. We went through similar experiences. During this break in our day, we shared our stories Our day-to-day struggles as teachers were discussed and understood. This was our time for connection and support. My experiences lie in teaching, but I imagine there are similar experiences in other careers.

Finding connection when we are faced with struggle, especially illness, is crucial. It helps us maintain a sense of power over our struggle by letting us know we are not alone. Connection allows us to work through our struggles with the support of others who understand. I am grateful that support groups are a part of my healing process. While each of our journeys is unique, we all face similar challenges. Together we can work through them and live our best lives.