Complimenting Others

                 Yesterday I visited my mother at the assisted living facility where she is now living.  It seems like a very welcoming place. While I hate seeing my mom lose her independence, I am pleased that this facility seems to offer great care. The environment is very positive. I saw a sign on a wall that caught my attention. I thought I would share it here. The sign said, “What If We Began Flinging Compliments Around with Wild Abandon?” I love this idea. There is so much negativity in our world right now. I wonder what would happen if each of us made an effort to give a couple compliments each day.

                  What is a compliment? By definition, a compliment is “a polite expression of praise or admiration.”  Sounds simple enough. How do we get in the habit of giving compliments? First, it is important to be observant. We should interact with others with the intention of noticing positives. It is not about looks, although you could compliment someone’s style or efforts to make positive body changes. We should notice a person’s insight, dedication, humor, and kindness. Also, we should notice the way a person interacts with others and the efforts they make to be kind, helpful, and caring.

                  We should be sincere when we compliment someone. While flattery is okay at times, it should not be the basis of compliments. When we compliment someone, it should be about something we truly admire. We do not need to exaggerate. All we need to do is make a sincere observation. 

                  A compliment is more sincere when it is specific. I think it means more when a compliment is specific rather than just a generality. Think for moment. Is there a specific compliment you could give someone in your life today? 

                  Compliments can be said aloud. They can be written notes, texts, or emails. How would you feel if you received a note, text, or email with a compliment? How would you feel if someone said something complimentary to you? Chances are it would bring a smile to your face and make you feel good about yourself. When others notice something positive about us, it gives us a lift. 

                  This is mental health blog. So, where is the mental health tie-in to compliments? I just said it. A compliment can make a person feel good about themselves. That good feeling can increase our self-esteem. It can also lift our mood. I am not saying compliments can heal mental illness, but they can give a bit of relief to the symptoms. Compliments give a little lift. Compliments can bring a smile to our faces. Compliments can make us pause and notice that there are positives in our life. They can also let us know that other people appreciate us. Anything positive that makes us feel good is helpful when we live with mental illness.

                  I would like to issue a challenge. Let’s all try to give two compliments a day for a week. That will start a habit of giving compliments and making others feel good. This could be contagious. When we receive a compliment, we may be more likely to give a compliment to someone else. When that happens, we are doing our part to bring a bit of positivity into this world that is often full of negativity. Two compliments a day. That is all I am asking. I am starting today. Will you join me in flinging compliments with wild abandon?