Depression Is Not Rare: Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 5)

                  Over the last few weeks, I have been trying to debunk common depression myths. This is the last in the series, but I think it encapsulates the whole series. Depression is more prevalent than most people think. As a society we need to pay attention to depression and make treatment available without stigma preventing people from receiving treatment.

                  According to 2021 data from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) approximately 21 million adults in the United States have had at least one major depressive episode. This is about 8.3% of all adults. NIMH states that 10.3% of females have had a major depressive episode and 6.2% of males have had an episode. Depression is not limited to adults. The NIMH 2021 research 20.1% of youth aged 12-17 had at least one major depressive episode. This is approximately 5 million youth. These statistics clearly demonstrate that depression is not rare. 

                  Depression is not just an issue in the United States. Worldwide statistics show that over 300 million people live with depression. It is a leading cause of disability in the United States and worldwide. Many people with depression do not receive treatment. As a result, the NIMH and worldwide statistics may be low. 

                  When we consider the numbers of people who live with depression, it is likely that we each know people suffering from depression. There is research that indicates that 1 in 6 people will experience depression at some point in their lives. We likely work with, go to school with, and socialize with people living with depression. Consider the people around you. Someone around is living with depression. You may not know it, but you do know someone living with depression. If you remember from an earlier post in this series (Smiles and Appearances, The Masks We Wear: Debunking Common Depression Myths part 2), those of us with depression are adept at masking our depression. Just because you do not see the signs of depression in someone does not mean they are not living with it. Depression can be an invisible illness. In a 2023 post I wrote about living with an invisible illness and included a poem. Read it here: Living with an Invisible Illness. Just because we do not always see it, does not mean that depression is not prevalent.

                  The incidence of depression is rising. There are many reasons for this. The COVID 19 pandemic had an effect on the rates of depression. Social media use has impacted depression rates. While these two factors are not singular causes of depression, they do impact our emotional well-being. Depression is a medical diagnosis. It is a legitimate health concern that is impacted by social and technological factors. As we see changes in the use of social media and technology, we see increases in depression. The more social media and technology isolate us, the more prevalent depression will be. 

                  Greater awareness of depression is leading to better diagnosis, reduced stigma, and more people seeking help. This is important. Yes, with greater awareness, the numbers of people diagnosed with depression will increase. This indicates how large the prevalence of depression really is. Diagnosis leads to treatment. So, while greater awareness will lead to increase to higher prevalence of depression, it will also lead to more people receiving the treatment they need. Again, depression is not rare. 

                  As we look at the prevalence of depression, let’s remember that we do not always know when someone is living with depression. So, it may seem that depression is rare, but if we take the time to be truly aware, we will realize that depression is a common illness. Please remember that depression is an illness. We do not choose to live with depression. Be kind. There is someone in your family circle, someone in your work circle, and someone in your social circle who lives with depression. Be aware of the signs of depression. Depression is a common illness. Be compassionate. We never know what someone is dealing with. 

                  I hope you have found this series debunking common depression myths helpful. If you have missed a post, I encourage you to look back over the last few weeks. There are five posts in the series. I will include links to each post in the series. 

There are a lot of myths surrounding depression. I believe it is important that we work to debunk depression myths. It starts with awareness and compassion. Let’s all do our part to debunk these myths and improve life for people living with depression.

 

Links to the rest of the series:

Is Depression Just Sadness? Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 1)

Smiles and Appearances, The Masks We Wear: Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 2)

It's Not Just a Phase: Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 3, Teen Mental Health)

You Can't Just "Snap Out of Depression": Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 4)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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You Can’t Just “Snap Out of Depression”: Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 4)

          As we continue discussing depression myths, I would like to share another one that I have personally experienced. Many times, people have suggested that I can snap out of my depression. I have been told to just smile. Not once have I been able to just “snap out of my depression”. The myth that we can snap out of depression is hurtful. It cannot be done. There is no snapping out of depression. No amount of smiling can make depression disappear on its own.

                  Depression symptoms do not disappear just because we want them to disappear. Depression is a health condition. It is not just a mood. Depression has biological and psychological causes. It is diagnosed by medical and mental health professionals. Depression is caused by changes in brain chemistry, neural circuits, and stress hormones. There is medical evidence that depression is real. Imaging shows differences in the brains of individuals who suffer from depression. The biology of depression affects mood, motivation, sleep, and energy. Medical intervention from a psychiatrist is usually needed to combat depression. So, telling a person to snap out of it is ignoring the science behind a depression diagnosis.

                  Another reason we cannot just snap out of it is that depression symptoms affect motivation and energy. Considering motivation is impacted by the illness, telling a person to snap out of it or try harder, is not going to help. We struggle with motivation and no amount of trying is going to make the depression disappear. When someone is told to snap out of it, the symptoms of depression are being ignored. When I have been told to try harder to be happy, I have shrunk further into my depression. I know I cannot snap out of it. Being told that I can makes me feel like a failure. Even though I understand motivation to not be depressed is not the issue, it hurts to be told that I would not be depressed if I just tried harder to be happy. 

                  Depression is persistent. It is not a passing mood. Those of us who live with depression cannot turn it on and off like a faucet. If we had that ability, we would never turn it on. Believe me, living with depression is not a choice. If we could snap out of it, people would not suffer from long-term bouts of depression. There would be no such thing as recurrence if we could snap out of depression. Depression lasts. Even with treatment, many of us still deal with the symptoms of depression.

                  Treatment is necessary to help a person live with depression. Recovery is possible, but not without treatment. The fact that recognized treatments such as therapy, medication, transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), esketamine, and ECT are effective demonstrates that overcoming depression requires more than just a will to snap out of it. My personal experience is that treatment is a necessary part of my life. I work hard with my mental health team to function with my depression. Most of us with depression find treatment to be necessary. That is where our desire to get better is utilized. We cannot just wish depression away, but we can take the steps to receive the treatments that will help us.

                  Sometimes we might seem like we are okay. This might give the illusion that we can snap out of our depression. The reality is that depression can ebb and flow. There are times when we can function and times when our struggles our heightened. Just because you see us functioning does not mean we are not dealing with our depression. As I mentioned in Smiles and Appearances, The Masks We Wear: Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 2) many of us living with depression are adept at wearing masks to hide our depression from others. It is not a matter of snapping out of depression. What often happens is we mask our symptoms. We do not snap out of depression. You just do not see the depression.

                  The myth that people can snap out of depression dismisses so much about the illness. It is also ignorant. There is medical and psychological research proving that depression is an illness and not choice. There are countless real-life stories that have been shared about living with depression. There is no excuse for someone to tell another person to snap out of depression. It is inconsiderate and hurtful.

                  The myth that people can snap out of depression is harmful. Being told that we need to just snap out of our depression can cause us to believe we are not trying hard enough to get better. It might make us feel ashamed to seek help. What people living with depression need is compassion and understanding. If we feel understood and supported, we are more likely to reach out for help. We are more likely to follow through on our treatment plans. So, if you know someone who is living with depression, please do not tell them to snap out of it. Please do not tell them that they just need to smile. Your intentions may be good, but you will be causing harm. Instead, ask them how you can help. Listen to the person. Be supportive and understanding. 

Come back next week. Monday will a regular post. Thursday 3/19, will be the final post in this series on Debunking Common Depression Myths.

 

 

 

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It’s Not Just a Phase: Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 3, Teen Mental Health)

                  March 2 was Teen Mental Health Day. Now seems like a perfect time to debunk myths surrounding teen depression. Teens face depression and they deserve support and care. Often, they do not get the care and support they need. Some causes for this include shame and stigma, not recognizing the signs of depression, fear of parents’ reaction, limited access to care, confidentiality concerns, the depression itself, cultural and identity factors, and past negative experiences. These are important issues that need to be addressed. Embedded in some of these issues are the myths that surround teenage depression. Today I would like to look at some of those myths.

                  One myth is that teen depression is just hormones, and they will grow out of it. All teens go through some mood changes, but those can be minor. When mood changes are persistent, it is not just hormones or a phase. Indicators of depression or other mental illness in teens include persistent sadness, anxiety, withdrawal, or behavior changes. Mental health research confirms that mental health challenges are common in teens. Teens can be depressed. Teens can be anxious. These are health issues, not just hormones.

                  Another myth is that “teens just want attention”. When teens are exhibiting distress or self-harm thoughts, it is indication that they need support. They should not be dismissed as seeking attention. Sometimes the behavior can seem dramatic. Even in these instances it should not be dismissed. The underlying emotions are real and need attention from mental health professionals.

                  Here is a myth that I find aggravating. “Good kids don’t get mental health problems.”  This is an asinine belief. Having mental illness is not about whether we are a good person or bad person. Depression and other mental illnesses affect kids across backgrounds and interests. It can affect athletes, high achievers, quiet kids, theater kids, musicians, popular teens, the teen that sits by themself, the class clown, or the teen that is always getting in trouble. Depression can affect any teen. Mental illness does not differentiate. It can affect teens of all races. Stress, trauma, genetics, and brain chemistry can affect anyone. Teens included. Having depression or other mental illness does not make you a bad kid.

                  I would like to raise an issue I have with the school system and mental health here. I am a special education teacher. I am used to seeing children and teens labeled. It is part of the paperwork and the placements. There is one label or type of disability that has always bothered me. Children and teens with mental illnesses or behavior disorders are often labeled emotionally disturbed. I hate that term. Disturbed has such a negative connotation. These kids are not disturbed. They have an illness that affects their emotions and behavior. Calling them disturbed is an insult. It perpetuates stigma and the myth that good kids do not get mental illness. I am an adult with mental illness. I am not referred to as emotionally disturbed by my health care providers, mental or physical. I do not believe we should be using this label on children and teens. 

                  Another myth surrounding teen mental health is that talking about suicide puts ideas in their heads. There is research that shows that asking directly about suicidal thoughts does not increase risk. It actually opens the doors to conversations that can allow the teen to receive the help they need. Talking openly about suicide reduces isolation and encourages teens to seek and accept help. 

                  I would like to share a personal experience related to this. I was a teen decades ago, but I still remember being chastised for having suicidal thoughts. I distinctly remember a counselor threatening me because I had expressed thoughts about wanting to take my life. There was no support. Rather, I was made to feel like I was a bad person. Not being able to talk about my suicidal thoughts caused me to shut down. The thoughts did not go away. Hurting myself did not stop. A lot of has changed since then. A counselor would not treat a teen like that today. We know that talking openly with teens allows them to receive the support and help they need. We know that openness leads to dialogue, which leads to treatment.

                  Another myth is that therapy is only for serious cases. Therapy can help teens at all levels of need. It can help with everyday stress, identity questions, relationship issues, peer pressure, school pressure, and athletic pressures. It is not just for crises. Talking to a counselor or therapist can help teens navigate tough issues as well as everyday issues. There is nothing wrong with going to therapy. We can all benefit from it at times.

                  There is a myth that medication will change a teen’s personality. If medications are taken appropriately and under the care of a psychiatrist or other doctor, they reduce the symptoms of depression or anxiety. They do not erase a person’s personality. Often, a teen will feel more like themselves once a medication has started managing their symptoms. 

                  We talked about this next myth in Smiles and Appearances, The Masks We Wear: Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 2). It is a myth that if a teen is laughing or getting good grades, they’re fine. Just as adults can mask the symptoms of depression and other mental illness, a teen can mask what they are struggling with. High-functioning depression and anxiety are just as real in teens as they are in adults. Just because a teen appears to be doing well on the outside does not mean they are not living with depression. We need to check in on the teen who smiles as much as we need to check in on the kid who is isolating themself. 

                  I am sure there are more myths out there. It seems that myths about mental health pop up all the time. Many people do not want to believe that depression is real. People want to believe that all kids are happy. Sadly, the ignorance perpetrated by the myths we have discussed harms teens every day. There are so many teens out there who are struggling and who need support. It is important that we break down the myths surrounding depression and other mental illnesses. We should be reaching out to teens. We should be listening to them. 

                  If there are teens in your life, I encourage you to listen to them. Listening means more than just hearing their words. It means paying attention to their actions. It means monitoring their moods. It means being aware of changes. Our teens need us. There are too many statistics that show teens are suffering and even dying from depression and mental illness. If we work to break down these myths and pay attention to our young people, we can make a positive impact in their lives. 

                  If you suspect a teen may be struggling with their mental health or feel unprepared to talk to your teen about mental health, reach out for support. You can talk to your teen’s pediatrician or a school counselor. You can contact organizations such as NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). You can call the 988 Lifeline. Whatever you do, don’t stand by silently. Any teen can suffer from depression and other mental illnesses and every teen deserves support.

 

 Check back next Thursday, 3/12, for another part in this series on Debunking Depression Myths.

Smiles and Appearances, The Masks We Wear: Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 2)

                  Last week I discussed the myth that depression is sadness. Let’s look at another depression myth today. Just as those of us with depression are not just sad, we do not always appear depressed. Many of us can manage to smile in public. We can function at work and in social situations at times. We can laugh and seem happy. However, appearances do not always tell the full story. Depression can be hiding behind a mask. 

External appearances are just that. The word appearance is defined as “the way someone or something looks.”  We cannot judge a person by their appearance. Depression does not have a “look”.  We might smile even though we are depressed. We might function at work or school as if nothing is wrong even though on the inside our thoughts are trapped in darkness. It is important not to assume that a person is okay just because they are smiling or functioning at work, at school, or in social situations.

                  One skill many of us with depression learn is masking symptoms. A mask can be as apparently simple as a smile. We might smile to hide the pain we are feeling. When others see a smile, they often assume we are happy. Just as depression is not sadness, a person can be happy about something and still be experiencing depression. An example might be how I am happy when my niece gets a hit in one of her college softball games. That happy feeling does not erase the depression I am trying to cope with. The feeling of happiness is situational. The depression is still there. It is always there. I can mask it, but the depression is hiding behind that mask.

Masking may appear as staying constantly busy and focused on exceling at work or school. When this form of masking is occurring, the person looks successful and productive on the outside, but inside they may feel empty, exhausted, or hopeless. This type of masking is one I have learned to employ. It is how I have managed to maintain a career despite my depression. I hide how I am feeling so others do not know. It is a way of avoiding judgement. Masking in order to work is often necessary to survive. We need the job to get health insurance and to pay for our living expenses. So, on the outside we look “normal” (although I question if there is really a normal way to look). Inside depression might be tearing us apart. 

                  Another aspect of this myth is that people with depression do not laugh. Sometimes a person with depression might use humor as a shield. Using humor might be a way to avoid vulnerability. Humor might be what keeps a person going. When I think about this myth, Robin Williams comes to mind. Obviously, I did not know him. So, I am basing this on what I have read about him. He spent his life making people laugh and doing everything he could to make people happy. Inside he fought depression. When he died by suicide, fans were in shock. People said things like, “He was always so funny, how could he take his life?” On the outside he was laughing. Inside he struggled. Sometimes humor and laughter are masking what we are experiencing on the inside. It is a myth that if a person is laughing and smiling, they are not depressed. They may be masking their depression symptoms.

                  There is a saying about being kind to everyone because we never know what they are going through. I think this saying captures the idea behind the myth that if a person is smiling and appears to be functioning, they cannot be depressed. How many of us have hidden how we are feeling from others because we did not want them to worry? How many of us have pretended to be okay because we did not believe others would understand what we were going through? This is masking. Everyone does it from time to time. What if you had to spend your life masking how you feel and what you are going through? That is what many of us with depression do. Often, we learn early on that others won’t understand. We learn that depression can be a taboo topic. So, we develop masks. 

                  Masking our depression is skill many of us are forced to develop to cope with our depression. It is what allows us to function. Unfortunately, those masks lead to the myth that if we are smiling and appear to be functioning, we must not be depressed. The very thing we are employing to allow us to function is creating the misconception that there is nothing wrong. 

I think masks serve an important purpose. By allowing us to appear okay, our masks allow us to be a part of the world that our depression tries to rip away from us. Over the years, I have learned when I need my mask and when I don’t. Sadly, I probably need it more than I do not. When I take off my mask, I can share with others what it means to live with depression. It is important to help others understand depression because doing so breaks down the stigma surrounding mental health. Maybe I need to explain my mask more often and to more people. I am not quite there yet. Yesterday my mask instinctively went up at work even though I know it is a safe place. I have accepted that it is going to happen at times. Maybe when my mask goes up like that it is protecting me. I know it perpetuates this myth, but in the world we live in sometimes we need our masks. Perhaps someday masks will not be necessary, and we can break down the myth that a smile or functioning appearance means we are not depressed.

 

 

 

 

 

                  
                  

Is Depression Just Sadness? Debunking Common Depression Myths (Part 1)

                  There are a lot of myths about depression. People who have never lived with depression make assumptions about what it means to have depression. Depression gets boxed into stereotypes that arise from these false ideas or myths. I have decided I will write about these myths in different posts over the next few weeks. 

                  One myth that is widely believed is that depression is just feeling sad. People mistakenly believe that a person can just smile and erase depression. As someone who has lived with depression for close to four decades, I can tell you that depression is not sadness. Let’s look at a couple definitions. Sadness is defined as “the condition or quality of being sad” with sad being defined as “feeling or showing sorrow or being unhappy.” (Oxford Languages). A person might be sad because they miss a friend or a because of a breakup. When a beloved character in a movie dies a person might be sad. A person might be sad when a colleague retires. Sadness is a real emotion, but sadness passes. It is not pervasive. 

                  Depression on the other hand is a medical condition. Depression involves depressed mood and a loss of interest or pleasure. These symptoms cause significant distress or impairment according to the DSM-5. There can be changes in sleep, appetite, energy, and/or concentration. There are often feelings of worthlessness. This is the medical criteria. I am not a psychiatrist. I am a person with lived experience. So, let’s step away from the diagnostic criteria and discuss why depression is so much more than sadness.

                  Depression often makes me feel numb. At the same time, I experience emotional pain. These may sound like opposites or two things that cannot happen at the same time. This is what makes depression so difficult. We can experience both emotional pain and emotional numbness at the same time. Somehow it hurts to be emotionally numb. I am not sure I can put the feeling into words. Maybe an appropriate image might be the burn of frostbite. Think about something being so cold it burns. That is what it is like to experience the emotional numbness of depression.

                  There is a heaviness to depression. It is as if a weight is bearing down on me. Every thought seems too much to bear. Usually, the thoughts are negative. These thoughts often run on loop in my head. They make me feel worthless. The thoughts tell me life is not worth living. That is depression.

                  I struggle to sleep. Depression is exhausting, but again opposites make an appearance. I can be dead tired, and depression will prevent me from sleeping. Sleep disturbances are common with depression. Some people who live with depression sleep too much. Sleeping too much and not being able to sleep are both common in depression. It just depends on how the individual person is affected. Fatigue and loss of energy can also be an issue with depression. 

                  Concentration is often impaired in depression. It can be difficult to focus on activities such as reading or completing a task that requires thinking. As much as I love to read a great novel, there are times when my depression makes it impossible for me to concentrate on the words on the page. Sometimes even the simplest of tasks can seem like a chore. You might not think about the energy it takes to take a shower or even brush your teeth, but when you are living with depression it can be difficult to engage in basic hygiene activities. Again, this is depression.

                  For some of us depression carries with it a sense of hopelessness. Many things just do not seem worth doing. Even living can seem pointless. This is where suicidal thoughts start to emerge. This is a very difficult part of depression. Imagine not feeling that life was worth living. It is painful, but it is a reality for many of us.

                  All these symptoms are pervasive meaning they last. They do not disappear after a day or two. Even with treatment some of these symptoms can persist in varying degrees. Thankfully, there are a lot of treatments that are effective and can help those of us living with depression. Living with depression is a battle and we need to stay on top of our treatment plans. That is the only way to fight depression. 

                  I started this post talking about myths surrounding depression. Can you see how the idea that depression is just sadness is a myth? There is so much more to depression than feeling sad or down in the dumps. Let’s try to eliminate this myth.  Please do not tell someone who is suffering from depression that they are just sad. Don’t tell them to smile.  Don’t tell them they have so much to be happy about. I have been told each of these statements. They do more harm than good. These statements make me feel like I am not doing enough. They make me feel like I am flawed. Depression is an illness, not a flaw. Remember healing depression is not about simply being happy.