Friends and Journal-Making

            A few weeks ago, my cousin, Sara, asked if I wanted to see some of my friends.  I haven’t been able to do much, partly because I don’t have the energy and partly to protect my immune system.  She offered her backyard as a safe space for me to gather with friends.  We decided to make it more than just a get-together.  I asked my friends to join me to decorate journals that we could donate.  Aunt Holly and I made 60 journals.  Making the journals was fun.  It was also relaxing.  We stitched the journals with pink ribbon.  I had about 40 more blank journals that I had purchased for a talk I was unable to do.  This gave us a good supply of journals to decorate.   

This past Saturday Sara hosted a brunch for me.  My friends came. It was great to see them.  Maria brought a card from some of my former students.  Their sweet words brought tears to my eyes.  My students are the part of teaching that I miss.  I’ve written to the students and let them know that my goal is to beat this cancer and be at their high school graduation.  

After a delicious meal of bagels, fruit, and salad, we got busy making journals.  As we decorated, we laughed and relaxed.  It was great to see my friends.  It was an enjoyable afternoon.  We had a lot of supplies: stickers, stencils, markers, and colored pencils.  Thank you, Nancy for adding to the supply stash. Everyone got busy.  We chatted as we worked.  There was laughter and smiles.  For a while I was just one of the girls.  For a short time I forgot that I was the woman with stage 4 cancer.  

Our goal – to decorate journals for people with cancer or mental illness.  Since I suffer from both illnesses, they are important to me, and I want to help others who are impacted by these illnesses.  We used stencils, stickers, and markers to write messages of hope on the journals.  We pasted my poem “A Whisper Above the Water” on the inside cover of the journals.  We decorated about one hundred journals.  These journals will be donated to four places, the cancer treatment center where I am receiving care and chemo, the cancer support community where I am receiving support, the TMS center where I have received TMS treatment, and an out-patient mental health facility where I have shared my story several times with patients and staff.  

Why journals?  Writing has always been healing for me.  It has been my coping strategy throughout my battle with depression and now writing is carrying me as I battle cancer.  I want to share writing with others.  Maybe writing in journals can help others in their battles with mental illness and/or cancer.  I stumbled upon writing as a teenager, and I am still writing in middle age.  Explaining what writing does for me is difficult.  It is a release.  The thoughts that depression and cancer cause to build up in my head find their way onto the pages of my journal.  Once the thoughts are on the paper, I have an easier time processing them.  

A few years ago, I read an incredible book, The Story You Need to Tell, by Sandra Marinella.  It helped me understand how writing heals.  I return to the pages of this book a lot as a reminder that writing heals.  Donating journals is my way of helping others.  I am hoping that by donating journals I can encourage others to try writing and maybe find some healing.  

Saturday was a wonderful day.  It took a lot out of me physically.  I am drained as I write this the next day.  I’ll deal with being drained.  Seeing my friends and doing something to help others was worth it. 

I am grateful that my friends and family helped me with this project.  I plan to keep making and donating journals.  It is a small thing, but it is something I can do.  

Thank you: Holly, Sara, Carol, Maria, Jessica, Bernie, Lisa, and Sylvia.  

Check back Thursday for a post about the idiocy of the health care system.