People Don’t Fake Depression

    I have read this quote many times, “People don’t fake depression. They fake being okay.” Most recently I saw this quote with a picture of Robin Williams. The quote really hits home for me. Sometimes people think that when a person is depressed, they are seeking attention, especially if they express suicidal ideation. That couldn’t be further from the truth. 

I have been suicidal numerous times. Not once has it been an attempt to get attention. In fact, for me suicidal thoughts involve wanting to escape. I definitely have not wanted attention. 

Depression is a painful illness. It is also a lonely illness. So many people don’t understand depression. I’ve even met medical professionals who sadly don’t understand depression. Some people think it is just a sadness or something that a person can snap out of easily.  Depression is more than sadness. It is a painful darkness. It is an illness. One that requires treatment, which makes it even more upsetting that there are medical professionals that don’t understand depression. It is bad enough when the average person doesn’t understand, but just not right for medical professionals not to understand.

While I have never faked depression, I have faked being okay. That is how I managed to maintain a career all my adult life. I tried to push my depression into the background. I attempted to deny it. That only makes depression mad. Yes, an illness can get mad. When it does, it attacks even harder. That has been my experience with depression. When I have pushed it into the background and tried to fake being okay, depression has dealt me blows that have left me reeling. Faking being okay is difficult. The false smile, the pretending that nothing is wrong are part of dealing with the illness. We try to fake being okay because there is a lack of understanding about depression. 

“People don’t fake depression. They fake being okay.” How often have we been shocked to hear that someone has died by suicide. When Robin Williams died by suicide fans all over the world were shocked. He was America’s funny man. Like many of us, he faked being okay. I read that he once said, “I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it is like to feel absolutely worthless, and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.” I think a lot of us who live with depression can relate to this statement. We wouldn’t wish depression on anyone. It is a debilitating illness. It rips joy from our lives and leaves us in darkness. I didn’t know Robin Williams. I saw him on television and in movies. He made millions of people laugh. Yet, he knew the darkness. It takes a special gift and an understanding of what it likes to live in the darkness and still find a way to make people laugh.

Robin Williams offered a piece of advice that I would like to close this post with, “If you’re that depressed, reach out to someone, and remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” This is not to make light of depression. It can last a lifetime, but there is help available. There are treatment options. Even those of us who are treatment resistant can find healing in non-traditional treatments. 

Remember even if someone is smiling, know that they could be hiding depression. So, always be kind. You don’t know what another person is dealing with.