Sharing What We Have

What we have is not for us to possess but to pass on. – Unknown

                  I heard the above quote when my co-teachers and I were showing a teen news show to our students. The host, Coy Wire, referenced the quote. It really resonated with me, and I found myself getting distracted in thought. My thoughts led me to think about my mental health journey. As I have shared over the past two and a half years, I have been through a lot with depression and anxiety. While I have suffered more than I would like, I have also learned a great deal. I think that is where this quote comes in. The lessons I have learned are not just for me. These lessons can help others as much as they have helped me. It is that sharing that is at the center of this quote. I have this blog as a platform to pass on the lessons I have learned. I hope I am doing that.

                  So much of living with mental illness, in whatever form it attacks us, is painful. I usually describe it as darkness. For me depression is my darkness. It clouds my world to the point where at times I have not wanted to live. You can look back over past posts to learn how the darkness of depression has impacted me. More than that you can look back and learn the lessons living with mental illness has taught me. That is the purpose of this blog. I want to share the lessons I have learned. 

                  It would be selfish of me not to share the insight I have gained through the darkness of depression and the stranglehold of anxiety. While the lessons have helped me, they will only serve their greatest purpose if I share them. I think the above quote means that possession has an inherent obligation to share what we have with others. That being said, the greatest lesson I have learned from my mental illness stems from the battle to beat it down. I have learned that life is worth living even when depression tells me it is not. Many times, depression has driven me to the edge. It has led me to believe that I did not want to continue living. Depression has shouted in my head that continuing to live is futile. Fortunately, I have learned that I need to talk back to that voice.

                  The great Mr. Rogers speaks about the “helpers”. (“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” – Mr. Rogers) I believe the helpers are the people who step into our lives when times are tough, the times when we are struggling. They help us to get through the tough times. I have been blessed with helpers in my life. I have named them on my blog before. So, I think they know who they are. These helpers have helped me learn that my life is worth living no matter how much depression tries to convince me otherwise. I have been given a gift by these helpers. I possess this gift, but it is not for me to keep to myself. I believe that I have an obligation to pass it on. I want others who struggling to know that life is worth living. I want others to know that the weight of mental illness can be lifted. 

                  How do we lift that weight? How do we find reasons to live in the face of the darkness? The first step is to reach out for help. It is okay to say, “I need help. I cannot get through this on my own.” Mental illness, no matter how it manifests, is difficult to live with. We need therapy, medication, and alternative treatments. We need a supportive ear. We need someone to hold our hand and say, “I hear you.” Others often do not know we are struggling if we do not tell them. Sometimes we need to ask for that help. One thing I know from experience is that this is a difficult thing to learn. Most of us are hesitant to ask for help whether it is because we do not know how or what to ask, we are afraid to ask, or we have been let down when we have asked before. What I have learned is that even if we need to push ourselves, we need to ask for help. Mental illness cannot be battled alone. We would not fight cancer or heart disease alone. So, why should we fight mental illness alone?

                  Another lesson I have learned is that mental illness is messy. It does not follow a linear tract. There are days when we feel like crap. There are days when we feel better. Then there is everywhere in between. I think of mental illness as a small child’s scribbling. It is messy and all over the page. Can you picture that image? Now, imagine trying to live like that. Are you starting to see it? That is mental illness. Many of you reading this understand what I am describing. The thing is even when life is messy, we can find our way through it. We may need help to get through the scribbled mess. That help might be in the form of a trusted mental health care provider or it may be a coping strategy or an activity from a self-care toolkit. We need to remember that even if mental illness is messy, we can be guided out of the mess.

                  Another lesson I would like to pass on is that we do not need to keep quiet about our mental illness. It is not attention-seeking to talk about it. There are others who understand. We can join support groups like NAMI Connection. (Check out the link to find a group near you.) There are other support groups. There are DBSA support groups in every state. You can also ask you mental health care provider or even your primary care provider for resources that can help you. I have found that talking about my mental illness has helped me feel less alone. It allows me to feel connected to others. That connection is healing. When we can share what we are going through, we often find it easier to deal with it. 

Each time I write a post on this blog, I feel connected to others. I also know that somewhere someone is listening to what I have to say. That connection gives me strength to keep battling my mental illness. It gives me power over my depression and anxiety. One suggestion you can try is finding mental health groups and individuals on social media who are talking about their experiences. You can find connection in those posts. I know that we need to be careful on social media, but I have found a lot of really supportive individuals. Two that I would recommend are Giving Voice to Depression (This is her podcast link, but you can find her on Instagram and Facebook.) and BC Mental Health Awareness Project (on Instagram). Most chapters of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) have a social media presence. 

                  I have learned many lessons about my mental health and about life. I try to share as much as I can on this blog. It is my way of trying to make a difference and to give back to the helpers in my life. I think it is a great testament to the helpers in my life if I can be a helper to others. If this post helped you in any way, I ask that you help me pass on the lessons I have learned by sharing my blog with someone else who may benefit. Together we can make a difference.

 

 

 

 

 

Creating a Self-Care Tool Kit

                  Self-care is important when we live with mental illness. Our self-care needs can vary. For that reason, it is helpful to have a tool kit that we can provide us with options. Often, we need activities that we can do on our own. With mental illness there are times when we just need to work through things on our own. There are other times when the presence of others can be useful. In this post I am going to share ideas to create a toolkit of your own.  

                  The self-care activities we select can depend on how we are feeling. When we are having difficult days or have low motivation, we are going to have different needs than on a day when we are not as impacted by our mental illness. Let’s look at some self-care activities.

                  On the hard days we are likely to need activities that we can do on our own. The focus of these days is to just provide some structure or stability. They are not about productivity. 

                  Self-Care Activities for the Hard Days

·      Try doing one basic care activity: take a shower, brush your teeth, change clothes

·      Try a comfort ritual: drink a cup of hot tea, hold a stuffed animal or blanket

·      Use the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory activity: Name five things you can see, name four things you can feel, name three things you can hear, name two things you can smell, and name one thing you can taste.

·      Practice a breathing exercise.

·      Use gentle media: watch a familiar show, listen to part of a favorite audiobook, listen to calming music

·      Engage in basic body care: do gentle stretches, use a heating pad, take a hot shower

·      Journaling without pressure: only write what you can. Maybe it is just once sentence or a couple bullet points. Even writing “Today has been hard.” Is helpful.

     It is important to remember that during the hard times, the times when we feel like we cannot do anything, just making an effort to do something small is big. On these hard days our motivation is often low and doing something that others would see as simple, can take enormous effort. Be kind to yourself. (For more on low motivation, read my post: Battling Low Motivation When You Have Depression

 

Self-Care Activities for the Moderate Days

·      Try something creative: color a page in an adult coloring book; draw or doodle; play an instrument or listen to music; engage in a favorite craft; journal or write something that makes you feel good

·      Engage in a mindfulness practice: try a guided meditation; do a body scan (move through your body looking for spots of tension); do yoga even if it is just for 5-10 minutes

·      Expose yourself to nature: sit by an open window; sit outside for a bit; go for a short walk

·      Work on processing your emotions: track your mood (ask yourself what you are feeling and how it is affecting you); work on a therapy worksheet; write a letter you don’t send

·      Create a To-Do list and do one activity from the list

 

When our mood is in that middle space, we are often able to do small things. The key is to make an effort. Even if you only do one thing from the above list, you are helping to improve your mood.  Once you do one thing, you may find that you can push yourself a little.

 

                  Self-Care Activities for When You Are in a Better Place

·      Engage in movement: go for a walk; swim; dance; go to the gym – do whatever feels good for you

·      Try a building a new skill: learn something new – Maybe it’s learning a new language on an app like Duolingo or learning to paint on a canvas by watching a how-to video on YouTube. You might try making a new recipe.

·      Set personal goals: make a vision board; write down your glimmers, the things that go well, bright spots or positives (For more on glimmers read my post: A Glimmer Jar for 2026

·      Engage in self-compassion – Intentionally do something kind for yourself. It might be eating a treat or giving yourself a hug. Maybe you look in the mirror and say, “I am worthy of love.” 

 

Often, when our mood is in a better place it is easier to engage in self-care. It is important to practice self-care activities during these times. Doing so will help us know what activities we can turn to when we are struggling. It builds the ability to engage in self-care. 

There are times when we want others involved in our self-care activities. There are different levels of social connection. It is important to recognize how much connection you are ready for. It is okay if you need to keep the connection to minimum. Move into more connection as you are ready. You do not need to push it.

 

                  Activities That Involve Low Pressure Social Connection

·      Parallel presence: Sit with someone while doing different things. The idea is to not be alone.

·      Text a friend or family member: You do not need to talk on the phone or in person to engage with another person. Just reaching out in the form of a text, or even an email, is an effort at communication.

·      Hang out with your pet. Pets are great companions. They seem to understand what we need from them. Just sitting next to your dog or cat can boost your mood and make you feel less alone.

·      Engage in an online community or support group. It could be a group with a common interest, or it can be a support group based on your mental health needs. In a group like this, you can just listen without speaking if that is what you need.

 

The idea with these activities is to make a small step toward engagement with others. The effort provides a bit of connection. That connection can provide a mood boost and enable you to feel less isolated.

 

Activities That Involve Active Connection

·      Have a conversation with a trusted person about how you are really feeling. 

·      Therapy or counseling: talk to your therapist or counselor about what you are feeling. Discuss your needs and make plans for using your self-care toolkit.

·      Engage in an activity with someone else: You can go for a walk with a friend. Play a game with someone. Watch a movie of or television show with someone. Do something in nature with someone else like a walk on the beach or a hike in a local mountain area.

·      Do a mindfulness activity with someone else: Maybe it is a breathing exercise with someone else. You can try doing yoga together.

 

In these activities you are gently moving into connection with another person. This can feel hard. That is okay. Take your time with it. Let the other person know how you are feeling. It helps to have a trusted friend or family member who understands the importance of these activities for you. 

 

Activities That Provide Purpose and Belonging

·      Join a support group: Support groups link you with others who are living with similar issues. It provides an opportunity to discuss how you are feeling or what you are going through with others who get it.

·      Volunteer: Find a group that engages in something you value. Start slowly. You do not need to commit to long hours. Maybe you start by giving an hour a week. You can increase the time as you feel up to it.

·      Join a group that shares an interest you have. This could be based on something creative, a hobby, or be faith-based.

 

When you are ready for more engagement these activities can help keep your mood in a positive place. They provide engagement with others and motivation to be involved in something.

It is important to remember that self-care activities are only part of how we work on our mental health. These activities will not cure our mental illness. Rather, they are meant to help us cope. Depending on where we are at with our mental illness, we will have different needs. A self-care activity may work one day and not the next. That is okay. Often, we need to try more than one activity to find the right one. It is okay if you do not have the motivation to engage in one of these activities. In these moments give one of the self-care activities for the hard days a try. Even the effort to try one is beneficial. 

You may want to write out a plan with some of these activities listed on it. When we are struggling, it can be hard to remember what is in our self-care toolkit. Having a written resource to refer to can help. Maybe keep the list in a journal or on a notepad by your bed. You can keep the list on your phone. Any place that you are likely to be able to refer to it will work. 

Self-care is an important aspect of taking care of our mental health. I encourage you to try some of these strategies. If you have other self-care ideas, please add them in the comments section. You might help somebody.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Battling Low Motivation When You Have Depression

                  Low motivation is a reality many of us with depression face. Low motivation affects our lives and at times makes our depression worse. What is low motivation with respect to depression and how can we find ways to deal with it?

                  Low motivation in depression can be defined as a reduced ability to do things such as initiate, sustain, or complete activities. Depressive symptoms, such as changes in mood, energy, and cognition, interfere with this ability even when we care about the outcome. Low motivation in depression is not from a lack of desire or willpower. It is a clinical symptom of depression and is caused by changes in brain function, energy, regulation, and emotional processing. 

                  Let’s take a look at what low motivation feels like when you are depressed. I experience low motivation often. There are times when I want to do something, but I feel unable to start. Starting a task, even if it is something I want to do, is difficult for me at times. There are times when starting feels overwhelming. At times doing something feels heavy mentally. Not being motivated often leads to feelings of guilt. I feel like I should be able to do more, but depression often leaves me sitting unable to motivate myself to do anything, I feel this sense that I just cannot do things. Even though I want to be productive or engage in certain activities, my brain tells me it is not possible. 

                  There are different things that can cause this lack of motivation when a person has depression. Our brain chemistry can tell us that the effort required is not worth it. We may have problems with executive functioning that lead to difficulties initiating or organizing actions. Fatigue can play a role. Another factor that can affect a person’s ability to engage in activities is the negativity that fills our minds when we struggle with depression. Sometimes we learn to expect failure. Low motivation can be a combination of these things.

                  I would like to point out that low motivation is real. It is not a product of laziness. It is not failure. It is not a lack of ambition. An important thing to keep in mind is that low motivation is not permanent or fixed. Depending on how the depression is impacting us at certain times, our motivation levels can fluctuate. It is important to recognize low motivation as a symptom of depression and not laziness because when we recognize it as a symptom, our self-blame is reduced, and it makes recovery possible. It also can lead to the support we need. One way to think about low motivation in depression is that motivation is not absent, rather it is inaccessible to the person because of our depression.

                  It might be helpful to have some ways to explain low motivation. First, I think it is important to be honest. That does not mean you need to reveal personal information or share anything you are uncomfortable sharing. It might help to have a short script ready if needed. 

                  Here are some scripts we can use:

o   “I am dealing with a health condition that affects my energy and motivation. While I am managing it, some days are slower.”

o   “This is not about effort. It is a health symptom that I am dealing with.”

o   “I do not need advice right now. I just need understanding.”

o   “I am pacing myself for health reasons.”

o   “I am running low on energy lately due to a health condition that I would prefer to keep private.”

o   “I am doing what I can right now within my limits.”

o   “Pushing harder actually makes things worse for me.”

o   “This is not a motivation issue. It is a health issue.”

 

                  While these scripts are useful, remember that we do not owe anyone an explanation for our illness. We are doing the best that we can. Low motivation is a symptom of depression, which is an illness, not a choice.

                  It is important to have strategies for facing low motivation. These strategies can help us manage this symptom and help us through tough times. There are times when these will work and other times when they will not be as effective. I think that is just part of depression. It fluctuates. There are times when we are better able to cope than others. Give these strategies a try if you are struggling with depression-related low motivation. See what works for you.

                  One strategy is to reduce tasks into very small parts. For example, if you need to wash the dishes, you might set a goal of washing one plate. It may seem small, but that is an accomplishment. If you need to run errands, maybe the goal is to walk out the door. By reducing the task into smaller parts, you are getting started. With low motivation getting started can be instrumental. We can accomplish things in smaller parts. We do not need to undertake a full task if we are not up to it.

                  Momentum can be instrumental to overcoming low motivation. Maybe you remind yourself that you do not need to feel like doing something to start the task. Select the task and set a timer. It could be for as little as one minute. The key is that you did something, not how long you spent doing it. Motivation can build from small increments.

                  Check your standards. Something does not need to be done well to be done. For example, drinking a protein shake counts as a meal. If you are not up to cooking dinner, drink a protein shake. It is still nourishment. Another way to look at things is even if something is not done well, it can still be considered done. When we get stuck focusing on doing things perfectly, we are inadvertently fueling our low motivation.

                  Using external structures can be helpful. An example might be a checklist with very small steps. You can also schedule routines instead of doing them only when you feel like it. Sometimes when we have it on our schedule or calendar, we are less likely to skip it. But even if we need to skip something on our schedule, it is okay. Another structure we can implement is to ask someone safe or non-judgmental to help us stay accountable. Maybe they can check in on how we are feeling about a task or help us break the task into easier to manage pieces.

                  It is important to remember that depression affects our energy in unpredictable ways. We need to notice when we are feeling even slightly better. In those moments we can try to do something that maybe earlier we were not motivated to do. If our energy drops, we need to remember that it is okay to rest. Rest is important when living with depression. 

                  Rewards are important. These rewards should be gentle and help us feel good. By rewarding ourselves, we are acknowledging that we did something. Doing something is what matters even if it is something small. 

                  Two final thoughts. First, self-worth does not come from productivity. I struggle with this one, but I try to remind myself that I am not lazy or weak. I have an illness. Depression affects our motivation. We are not always going to be productive and that is okay. Low motivation is a symptom of depression. It is not a character flaw. 

                  The final thought is that we need to try to name the emotion that is underneath our low motivation. We can ask ourselves why something feels hard and then gently listen to our response. We can then address the underlying issue instead of forcing ourselves to do things we are not ready or able to do. This may require support. That is okay. Mental health professionals are there to support us. Therapy, medication, support groups, and alternative treatments are also available to help us. 

                  Remember low motivation is a symptom of depression. It is okay if you do not feel motivated. It is okay if you do not get things done. Give yourself grace. Be kind and understanding to yourself. You are worthy of grace, kindness, and understanding. We all are, even if we have trouble believing it.

 

It’s Okay to Feel

“You are allowed to feel however you feel.”

     -    Found on FredsFighters on Instagram

 

 

How many of us have been embarrassed by our mental illness? How many of us have tried to hide our depression or anxiety? It is common for those of us with mental illness to be embarrassed by the way our illness makes us feel. I know there have been many times when I have felt like I was weak because my depression dragged every bit of energy out of me or left me seeing only the negatives around me. I cannot tell you how many times I have said to myself, “I shouldn’t feel this way.” For some reason depression and anxiety seem to make me feel like I am less of a person. From conversations I have had with others living with mental illness and from mental illness posts on social media, I know feeling embarrassed by feelings is common.

When I read, You are allowed to feel however you feel, it felt like both a punch in the gut and a sigh of relief. The punch in the gut comes from recognizing that embarrassment or need to hide my feelings. The idea that I should not feel the way I do has weighed heavy on me for most of my life. When I am surrounded by the darkness of depression or when I my mind fixates on a worry, I often tell myself that there is something wrong with me. I look around and see someone else going about their day, and I think, “that person doesn’t get anxious,” or “that person is not thinking about giving up on life.” The reality of it is that person may very well be struggling with something I am unaware of. They may also just be having a good day after a bad one. 

The thought that we are allowed to feel however we feel also led me to a sigh of relief. As I read the words, I felt like I was being given permission to feel. Everything that goes through my mind, all the darkness created by depression and all the anxious thoughts are okay. I realized that feelings are just that, feelings. We cannot control our feelings. They happen. We respond to stimuli around us. For those of us with a mental illness, there is an illness dictating some of our feelings. A mental illness like depression causes us to feel emotions such as hopelessness, despair, and loneliness. It may cause us to feel like life is too much or that it is not worth living. Anxiety may cause us to feel on edge or to feel a sense of doom. It may cause us to worry intensely about things beyond our control. Yes, I understand that we think our own thoughts, but the illnesses take hold and control our thought processes and our responses. They hold power over our feelings.

You are allowed to feel however you feel. There is such power in that simple sentence. We are allowed to feel what we feel. If depression is strangling us at the moment, it is okay for us to retreat into whatever strategies help us through those times without feeling embarrassment or feeling like we are somehow less of a person. Of course, if we feel either of those ways or any other way, it is okay. We feel what we feel. 

Our emotions or feelings are valid simply because we are feeling them. We do not need to justify them. Feelings are what they are. There is no wrong feeling. Our feelings are not mistakes. They are valid representations of what we are experiencing. We do not need permission to feel. We do not need to justify our feelings. 

It is important to acknowledge our feelings. It does not matter what is causing the feeling. The feeling may be a result of something we see or do. It may be a result of how our mental illness is affecting us. Acknowledging our feelings can be the first step toward understanding, healing, and growth. We all need these as move through life. Some of us may need more healing than others. That is okay. We each are where we are in life. We each experience our feelings.

You are allowed to feel however you feel. This statement is an invitation to the realization that self-compassion matters. It encourages us to be kind to ourselves. We can let go of guilt or shame. We can stop suppressing our feelings. Self-compassion allows us to feel however we feel. There is no right way to feel. Feelings are real. Sometimes we need help dealing with our feelings. That is okay, too. If we remember that whatever we feel is okay, then we will be better able to reach out when we are struggling. The act of reaching out is at the heart of living with mental illness. Maybe more than that, it is at the heart of being human. We are sentient beings. We have feelings and emotions. The next time we think, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” let’s give ourselves permission to feel.

 

What Is Anxiety? How Can We Cope with It?

                  I want to address a mental health condition that I struggle with on daily basis. I have generalized anxiety disorder along with my diagnosis of major depression. One mental illness is tough to deal with. Having two mental illnesses is even more challenging. There are a few different anxiety disorders. My focus in this blog will be on generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), but while each disorder has its specific characteristics and symptoms, there is overlap between the disorders.

                  What is anxiety? The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by apprehension and somatic symptoms of tension in which an individual anticipates impending danger, catastrophe, or misfortune.”  Anxiety is more than just fear. We all feel anxiety at times in our lives. Work, illness, or school are examples of things that can cause us to feel anxiety. The difference for a person with an anxiety disorder is that the anxiety does not go away, and it can worsen over time. Anxiety disorders often interfere with daily living. For a person with generalized anxiety disorder, anxiety is ongoing. It is frequent and lasts for months or years. 

                  My anxiety reared its ugly head when I was about 20 years old and has persisted for over 30 years. There are times when it is worse than others. I have learned coping strategies, but sometimes those are not enough. Generalized anxiety disorder interrupts my life. It also embarrasses me. I do not like others to see my anxiety. Unfortunately, it is difficult to hide.

                  According to SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) the symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder include: a sense of restlessness, being on-edge or wound up, difficulty concentrating, irritability, being easily fatigued, headaches, muscle aches, stomachaches, or unexplained pains, trouble thinking, difficulty controlling feelings of worry, and sweating, nausea, or diarrhea. That is quite a list. Can you imagine living with those symptoms? Unfortunately, I live with many of these symptoms. 

                  My anxiety has been worse than usual lately. It hit a peak last week. In my experience anxiety ebbs and flows. There are times when I am doing well and able to cope with the anxiety. Other times, I struggle and often need help. So, what helps anxiety?

                  There are medications that can alleviate some of the anxiety experienced by people with generalized anxiety disorder. Since I am not a doctor, I do not want to discuss medication. One reason is that I do not want there to be an appearance of supporting a particular medication. Another reason is that medication has not been entirely helpful for me. I will leave discussions about anxiety medication to the medical experts. I am an expert in living with anxiety, but I am not a doctor. Lived experience is different than medical expertise.

                  Let’s look at coping strategies and non-medication approaches. We can break down anxiety coping strategies into a few categories: immediate “in-the-moment” techniques, mental and cognitive skills, lifestyle and behavioral approaches, and long-term support. As we go through these strategies, keep in mind that not all of them work for everyone. It is necessary to try different strategies and see what works for you. Do not just stop at one. It is important to have a bag of coping strategies to rely on.

                  Five strategies can be considered immediate “in-the-moment” techniques. Deep breathing can help calm anxiety. Try inhaling slowly for a count of four, hold the breath for four counts, and exhale for a count of six. This helps calm the autonomic nervous system. Another strategy is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method. First, identify five things you can see. Then identify four things you can touch. Next, identify three things you can hear. Then identify two things you can smell. Finally, identify one thing you can taste. The intent of this strategy is to shift the focus of from your anxiety to the present moment. A similar coping strategy is the 3-3-3 rule. In this strategy you name three things you see, three sounds you hear, and move three parts of your body. Another strategy is the cold-water splash. Washing your face with cold water triggers a reflex that instantly lowers your heart rate. A strategy that I find helpful is progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). In this strategy you tense and release different muscle groups stating from the toes to the head, and then release the physical tension. Sometimes I incorporate this strategy into self-hypnosis. When I do this, I usually go in the opposite direction and start with my face and move toward my toes. 

                  There are four mental and cognitive skills that can help with anxiety. Cognitive reframing is when you challenge anxious thoughts by asking if they are based on evidence. Then replacing the anxious thoughts with a more balanced perspective. This can take practice. It might be helpful to write down different perspectives that focus on countering anxious thoughts. Practice reading them when you are not anxious to help commit them to memory so that it might be easier to retrieve them when you are anxious. Another strategy is brain dumping or journaling. In this strategy you write down anxious thoughts to help with processing emotions and gaining perspectives. This is a strategy that I find helpful, especially in the earlier stages of anxiety. Often, I need to use one of the immediate “in-the-moment” strategies first if my anxiety has reached a more intense level. Then I can work through my anxious thoughts in writing. A third strategy in this category is distraction/occupying the mind. When using this strategy try to engage in puzzles, counting, or reading to shift the focus away from racing thoughts. Another strategy that can be helpful is using positive affirmations. You can select a few positive, calming affirmations and then repeat these words to reassure yourself.

                  A third category of anxiety coping strategies is lifestyle and behavioral approaches. Engaging in physical exercise can help ease anxiety. Daily activity such as walking, yoga, or running reduces endorphins and can reduce stress. Prioritizing sleep hygiene can be helpful. Try to get 7-9 hours of sleep. When we are fatigued, anxiety can increase.  So, getting adequate sleep can be helpful. It is important to limit stimulants. We need to reduce the amount of caffeine and/or alcohol we intake. These can trigger or worsen panic and anxiety symptoms. Social connection can also help reduce anxiety. Talking to a trusted friend or family member can help us ease our anxiety. This is especially true if this person is familiar with how anxiety affects you and knows your coping strategies. I have found this to be an important part of how I deal with anxiety. 

                  Finally, long-term support is important. This includes professional therapy. It is important that we do not try to deal with anxiety on our own. When we have an anxiety disorder, we need to recognize that it is an illness. This means we need help from professionals trained to work with people living with anxiety disorders. I talk to my psychologist and psychiatrist about my anxiety frequently. I have a team of mental health professionals I can reach out to when I am struggling. I think it is important that we develop support systems like this. We might also join a support group. There are different support groups available. You can ask your mental health professional for recommendations. You can also join NAMI Connections. This is a peer led support group through NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). Another long-term strategy is mindfulness or meditation. Practicing these can help us observe anxious thoughts without judgement. This can help us work through our anxiety.

                  Other strategies I have tried include using a weighted blanket and a weighted stuffed animal. There is research that indicates that a weighted blanket can help ease anxiety. I find it helpful. The weight feels soothing for me and as it soothes me, I find that I a m able to slow my thoughts. Engaging in art or listening to music might be helpful for some people. Maybe some of you reading this have found success with other strategies. I encourage you to share your strategies in the comments section.

                  Anxiety can be debilitating. I continue to struggle with anxiety. My strategies useful and I know when I need to reach out for help. It is important that we acknowledge that anxiety is a legitimate health disorder. We are not overreacting. We are not weak. Anxiety is real. So, if you struggle with anxiety, try some of the above strategies and reach out for help. If you do not have a mental health professional, I encourage you to talk to your primary care provider. This provider can refer you to a mental health professional. 

                  We can live with anxiety disorders. It requires us to work at overcoming anxiety. It is important to remember that we are not our anxiety. With the right help and the use of coping strategies we can develop the ability to work through our anxiety. If you struggle with anxiety, please remember that you are not alone and there is help.