A Boost from Affirmations

                  In the past if you had told me to repeat some affirmations, I would have blown you off. I might have humored you and then ignored your suggestion. However, over the last several years life experiences have taught me that affirmations can go a long way to improving my mental outlook on life. 

                  The past several years have been filled with health, both mental and physical, challenges for me. I have battled severe depression and anxiety. There have been times when suicidal thoughts roamed freely in my head. As if my struggles with mental health were not enough, I battled stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. It is obvious that there have been a lot of negatives in my life. Those negatives impaired my ability to think positive. Thinking positively has never been easy for me. My health struggles made it worse. 

                  I want to share something I have learned. It may seem like an inconsequential thing. It may seem like bulls***.  As I said, I was not a believer in this until it was forced upon me. Thinking positively and focusing on affirmations can allow us to heal and to find wellness. Let’s take a look at what affirmations are and how using them can lead to positive thinking.

                  Affirmations are positive, declarative statements that someone repeats regularly to reinforce a desired belief, mindset, or outcome. They can be used to shift thinking patterns, build confidence, and reduce negative self-talk. Usually affirmations are personal (using “I am” or “I have”), in the present tense, and positive. 

                  Based on this definition, affirmations sound simple enough to use. When using affirmations, we need to be consistent. This means we need to use them repetitively. As we repeat them more often, our belief in the affirmation will build. This leads to another key point. We need to believe in the affirmation. It is okay if takes time to build up that belief. If we start with being open to the belief in the affirmation, we will eventually grow to believe in it. Another key is to stay in the present. We should use “I am” instead of “I will”. This keeps us grounded in the present. One more key is to avoid negatives. An example would be to say, “I am healthy” instead of “I am not sick”. 

                  Here are some ways that affirmations can be used effectively: 

·      Daily repetition: repeat the affirmation out loud, silently, or in writing every day. Good times to do this are first thing in the morning or before going to bed. 

·      Mirror work: repeat the affirmation while looking in the mirror. Repeating the affirmation in this way builds and emotional connection between yourself and the affirmation.

·      Journaling: Writing affirmations in a journal reinforces belief in them through writing and repetition. This strengthens neural pathways.

·      Meditation or visualization: Try repeating the affirmation while visualizing a goal. This engages both the mind and the body.

·      On the go: Sometimes we need to repeat an affirmation in a stressful situation. In this way, the affirmation serves as a mental reset. An example might be repeating “I am capable” before a public speaking event.

·      Audio or Apps: Some people find it beneficial to listen to affirmations being repeated on a recording. Listening to the affirmation is a way to reinforce the affirmation. 

·      In therapy or coaching: A therapist or coach might guide a person through affirmations that are chosen to address a person’s particular needs. Sometimes this method is used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to reframe distorted thinking.

     I have found that two of these ways are particularly helpful for me. I try to repeat certain affirmations on the go. For example, when I recognize that I am getting caught up in a negative thought pattern, I try to use an affirmation to break the pattern. If my anxiety is telling me that a pain is a sign that my cancer has returned, I try to repeat the affirmation, “I am okay.” Sometimes I add on something about my last test results being normal. Repeating this helps break up the negative, doomsday thoughts that roam freely in my mind. Another way I use affirmations is in journaling. I will often write out affirmations so that I am making them more concrete. I say them silently as I write them. Sometimes this action leads me into writing a poem or other piece. I also write affirmations as intentions before I have esketamine treatment. This writing action sets a positive intention for my mind to work on during and after treatment.

                  Now that we know what affirmations are, here are some examples of helpful affirmations:

 

v I believe in myself.

v I deserve good things. 

v I am enough just as I am.

v I am safe.

v I am loved.

v I am healing

v I am calm.

v I can handle this.

v I radiate confidence, self-respect, and inner harmony.

v I trust myself to make the right decisions.

v I am okay.

v I release what I cannot control.

v I am calm, centered, and in control of my thoughts.

v I am stronger than any obstacle.

v I give and receive love freely and joyfully.

 

    These are just examples. An internet search can produce more. You can create your own based on your needs. One that I use often is from a song that has always been important in my life. It is three simple words, “Let it go.” This affirmation reminds me to let go of whatever I am struggling with or whatever is weighing on me. 

                  I would like to see if we can add to the affirmation list. If you an affirmation that is effective for you, write it in the comments section so that others can read it and possibly use it. 

                  Affirmations are an effective tool for dealing with mental and physical health challenges. They are also helpful with basic life challenges. Repeating affirmations can reframe our thoughts leading to more positive thinking. As we develop more positive thinking, we can find healing or improvement in our lives. Affirmations are not perfect. Nothing is. Affirmations are useful and can make a difference because they provide us with a script to help us through difficult times. The positive nature of affirmations allows us to practice positive thinking. We can all use more positive thinking in our lives.

Anyone can use affirmations. Give them a try. Affirmations might make a difference in your thinking. 

 

 

                                    

A Letter to Anyone Contemplating Suicide or Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts

To Anyone Contemplating Suicide or Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts: 

I see you. I understand you. At times I am you. I cannot say that I know exactly what you are feeling or thinking. Each of our experiences are our own. I can say that I have felt the pain of suicidal thoughts, the pain of feeling there is no other way. I know it is a pain that is difficult to explain to others. It is a pain that is difficult to endure. I have been helped in my moments of crisis. There is help for you, too. If you feel that you do not have someone to reach out to, call or text 988, go to the emergency room, or tell a loved one. There is help. There is hope. The pain will get better. This world needs you and all you have to offer. I know right now you may not believe this. I did not believe it, but I have learned that it is true. Your life is worth living.

                                                                    Sincerely,

                                                                    Someone Who’s Been There 

 

Suicide Prevention Month is a time when we focus on saving lives. It is a time to encourage conversations about suicide. Talking about suicide is important. By talking about suicide, we remove the stigma that so often prevents people from getting help. If we can help people to understand that they do not need hide their suicidal thoughts in shame, we can encourage them to reach out for help. It is okay to have suicidal thoughts. These thoughts are not a sign of weakness. They are symptoms of mental illness. Just as with any illness, someone with suicidal thoughts deserves treatment. I hope that as Suicide Prevention Month draws to a close, we can continue have conversations about suicide and normalize seeking help. 

This month I have focused on suicide prevention because I feel strongly about it. If you have not read the other posts, I encourage you to look back over the past month. Share with others. It is through caring enough to talk openly about suicide that we can save lives.

If you are having suicidal thoughts or contemplating suicide, please reach out to a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. If you do not have one, you can reach out to 

988

911

Or go to the nearest emergency room.

Hope and a Plan

        This month I have focused on suicide. I realize that it is a heavy topic. However, as I said on Monday, we need to talk about suicide. We cannot close our eyes and expect people to be okay. We can’t just send good wishes and have the suicide rates decrease. As September nears a close, I am not finished writing about suicide. It will be a topic on my blog periodically because I know the importance of talking about suicide. 

                  There is a saying that is shared frequently on mental health social media posts: It’s okay not to be okay. I think this saying is something we all need to internalize. There are going to be times for all of us when we are not okay. It is not limited to people with mental illness. That is a key thing to remember. We all go through difficult times. We can all feel hopeless. In those moments we need to remember that it is okay to not be okay and know that there is help available.

                  Suicidal ideation is a sign that a person is suffering. The person needs help. We have come a long way in finding ways to provide support. World Suicide Prevention Month provides attention to that support. Being aware in September is great, but it is not enough. There are many groups out there providing support year-round. Organizations such as NAMI and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention  work diligently to provide support and raise awareness. Check out the links for more information on these organizations and how you can get involved.

                  Turning this personal, I know the pain of suicidal thoughts. I have been on the edge where I have needed support. I am grateful to the people who have been there for me. They showed me there is hope. Knowing there is hope is not enough on its own. It is important that we know what resources are available. If you have a mental illness, it is a good idea to have a safety plan. You can read about safety plans in my article Creating a Safety Plan for Times of Suicidal Crisis. Safety plans can save a life. My safety plan has saved my life. 

                  Hope combined with the presence of a safety plan can save lives.  Add to those open discussions about suicide and we can make a real difference in people’s lives.  It is the willingness to break down the stigma surrounding suicide that will allow hope and safety plans to be their most effective. 

When you are on the precipice, when life seems to be too much, I hope you will hear the whisper of hope. It is there in our darkest moments. Unfortunately, it’s really hard to hear, but trust me it is there. I have heard the whisper of hope. It is different for each one of us, but hope is there. So, when life is at its bleakest call out to hope. Whisper, scream. Whatever you can do. Know that hope is there. It may not be easy as you climb down from that precipice, but I believe you can. I know it is difficult. Hanging onto hope is worth it. You have an unfinished story within you. Allow that story to be written.

 

If you are having suicidal thoughts or contemplating suicide, please reach out to a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. If you do not have one, you can reach out to 

988

911

Or go to the nearest emergency room.

 

 

Let’s Talk About it, Suicide Prevention Awareness

                  Suicide Prevention Month reminds us that we need to be able to have conversations about suicide. Many people are hesitant to talk about suicide. There is a stigma surrounding suicide. Some fear talking about it will lead to more deaths by suicide. People are afraid that even mentioning suicide might lead someone to take their life. In some cultures, it is considered taboo to talk about suicide. Others fear they will say the wrong thing. Still others, are uncomfortable with the topic of suicide because of personal discomfort or emotional pain. Sadly, many of us were taught not to discuss suicide. 

                  In my own life I avoided discussing suicide for a long time despite dealing with suicidal ideation. There were two main reasons. One was being raised in a religion that taught that suicide was a sin. That teaching led me to believe that my suicidal thoughts were sinful. I hid my thoughts and suffering. I was afraid of judgement. I know I am not alone. Even if the fear is not based on religious teachings, a fear exists that we will be judged critically and/or harshly whether by religious leaders, God, or society. 

                  The second reason revolves around my personal experiences. As a teenager I dealt with suicidal ideation and made attempts. These thoughts were not met with empathy or the help I needed. It took years to overcome this. Even today the anxiety that arose from how I was treated during those times surfaces. That fear of not receiving the help I need returns to my mind.

                  With help from my mental health team, I have learned that it is okay to openly discuss suicide. It is okay for me to share when I am struggling. This does not mean I tell just anyone, but I know there are people who will listen and support me. Not everyone has the support that allows them to talk about suicide. That is why I talk about mental health and suicide. We need to normalize these discussions. 

                  We need to break the silence surrounding suicide. How we talk about suicide matters. We should have compassionate and responsible conversations. These conversations should be direct and maintain hope and avoid sensationalizing or glamorizing suicide. When we talk about suicide with someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts, we need to show them that they are not alone, open doors to help, and provide connection to help. When talking about suicide we need to avoid passing any judgement. Do not interrupt them as they are speaking. It is important to remember that you are not expected to solve everything. Be sure to take the person seriously. 

                  If you do not know how to connect the person to the appropriate help,  988 is a way to start. 988 provides support and can connect the person to additional services.  If the person is in immediate danger, you should call 911. Emergency rooms can also provide immediate help. It is important to not leave the person alone if there is an immediate risk. 

                  World Suicide Prevention Month provides an opportunity to spread information and knowledge that can make it easier to have conversations about suicide. Let’s have these conversations throughout the year, not just in September. If we reduce the stigma surrounding suicide, we can help people be more willing to reach out for help when they are dealing with suicidal thoughts. Being willing to talk about suicide can save lives. 

 

If you are having suicidal thoughts or contemplating suicide, please reach out to a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. If you do not have one, you can reach out to 

988

911

Or go to the nearest emergency room.

 

 

Keep Writing Your Story

You have so many beautiful chapters left to write. Keep going. – Unknown

 

                  I have read the above quote many times. It pops up on mental health social media posts frequently. As someone who has lived with suicidal thoughts and ideation and as a writer it is a very powerful sentiment to me. 

                  Our lives are stories that we are constantly writing. Every thought, every action is a part of the story that is our life. The beauty of viewing our lives as a piece of writing is that we are the author, and we can write and rewrite as we choose. Of course, this is not always easy. Sometimes when things get difficult or seem dark, we may lose the inner drive to continue writing our story. It is in those moments that we need to be reminded, even if that reminder comes from within ourselves, that we can take our story in any direction we want.

                  Writing our story is not always easy. In fact, it can be downright difficult at times. I try to remind myself that my story is worth living. To be honest there are times when that is difficult to believe. It is in those moments that we need to keep the reminders repeating in our minds. When an author writes a story, they keep their pen (or keyboard) moving. They understand that chapters will need to be revised or rewritten. To the author that is part of the beauty of writing. It is also the beauty of our lives. We can always get back up when a chapter of our life does not go as we want. We can rewrite those chapters by moving forward. 

Our stories do not end when we struggle. Within each of us resides the seeds of resilience. We may not always be aware of that resilience, but it is there holding the pen that will allow us to write the stories that make up our lives. Each chapter is different. Some chapters carry pain and darkness. Other chapters reveal contentment or even joy. It is in the writing of these chapters that we find beauty. We also find hope. That is why we need to keep writing, to keep living. I am not going to sugarcoat life. I know life is not always easy. At times it is a struggle to keep going. But if we keep going, we will find that it is worth it. We will find this even if our minds tell us it is not. In my last post I reflected on hope. I believe there is hope in the writings of our stories. Even if we need to fight to do it, we can choose our narrative if we believe we have hope. That is why we need to support mental health programs. These programs along with mental health professionals bring hope into our lives. Maybe part of our story is needing therapy, medication, or an alternative treatment. That’s okay. Our stories are not over when darkness sets in. There is hope. I urge each one of us to pick up the pen and forge ahead in the writing of our stories, in living our lives. As we continue on, resiliency and hope lift us.

                  Our life is a series of chapters. Each chapter is different. The important thing is we can always move on to the next chapter. Even the darkest chapter can be followed by a beautiful chapter. Often, the semi-colon (;) is used as a symbol to mental health. The semi-colon represents a sentence the author could have ended but chose not to. This can be applied to our lives. When it seems like we cannot keep going in life, when suicidal thoughts are consuming us, we need to remember to keep going. Our story is not over. There are beautiful chapters yet to be written.

                  Just a reminder: It is Suicide Prevention Month. If you are struggling, please reach out for help. 

 

If you are having suicidal thoughts or contemplating suicide, please reach out to a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. If you do not have one, you can reach out to 

988

911

Or go to the nearest emergency room.

 

 Hope Amongst Us

 

Hope is that thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach for it and to work for it, and to fight for it. – Barack Obama

 

This past Saturday I attended and presented at the Los Angeles Suicide Prevention Network Summit. While there I was reminded of hope. Every time I am involved in a mental health activity or program, I am reminded that despite the darkness of mental illness, there is hope. 

It may seem odd that I found hope at a gathering centered on suicide. The thing is everyone here is focused on preventing suicide and that includes bringing hope to those dealing with suicidal thoughts and/or those who are contemplating suicide. We are gathered here to make a difference in people’s lives. As someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts and contemplated suicide, being able to talk openly about my struggle is healing. At events like this I realize that I am not alone. I also see that there are people who care. These realizations go a long way into helping me heal. I am guessing that others find similar healing.

In the quote above, President Obama speaks about hope being inside of each of us. That is a powerful statement. Sometimes it does not feel like I have any hope. Many people with mental illness also experience this lack of hope. Sometimes it is hard for us to feel that hope, but President Obama is right. The hope is inside of us. As he mentions, there is a lot that tells us there is no hope. Our illness speaks loudly. It tries to force us to latch on to the contrary evidence. We need to rely on the courage that we do not always know we possess and push ourselves to work to allow the hope to take its presence. We need to fight to rise above our mental illness. We need to fight to overcome suicidal thoughts. 

Once we start fighting, we will learn that there are people out there ready and willing to help us. Days like today, when I am surrounded by people who are trying to erase the stigma surrounding suicide and to help people battle their suicidal thoughts, hope enters my heart. My mind recognizes that hope is a reality. All these people are working, fighting, to support people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts and/or contemplating suicide. Knowing these people care and are willing to give up their time to support people like me, grows that hope inside of me and others. 

I also gain hope from my ability to share my experience and knowledge with others. I presented as part of a panel with three women from a suicide loss support group, SOLACE. Being able to share with these women and present our experiences with others strengthens me. It lets me see that my experiences have brought me to not only a place of healing for myself, but to a place where I can try to bring healing to others. Isn’t that what hope is about? Being able to find hope within myself and share that hope with others, demonstrates that I am fighting to keep hope alive. It shows that my journey, despite having reached some deeply dark places, is making a difference.

 

If you are having suicidal thoughts or contemplating suicide, please reach out to a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. If you do not have one, you can reach out to 

988

911

Or go to the nearest emergency room.

 

        As painful as life can be, there is hope. Reach for it, work for it, fight for it!

                                               Kenzii, Me, Dorothy, Anne-Marie

    before our panel presentation

 

World Suicide Prevention Day 2025

        September 10^th is World Suicide Prevention Day. The theme for this year is “Changing the narrative on suicide”. This theme is intended to address harmful myths and stigma. It calls for more open and compassionate conversations about suicide. Suicide is something people are often uncomfortable talking about. That is precisely why we need to talk about it. The World Health Organization (WHO) states that “Changing the narrative on suicide” is “…about shifting from silence and misunderstanding to openness, empathy, and support — creating environments where people feel able to speak up and seek help.”

 According to WHO, suicide claims the lives of 720,000 people every year. The CDC reported that in 2023 there were 49,316 suicide deaths in the United States. These losses affect family and friends. Suicides also affect communities. The loss of any life to suicide is tragic and painful. That pain doesn’t go away. It may dissipate, but it is always present in some way. 

It is important that we discuss suicide and suicide prevention today and every day. We cannot ignore the fact that people are suffering and choosing suicide. We need to call for suicide prevention and mental health to be a priority in our communities, our country, and our world.

When I think about changing the narrative on suicide, I picture having discussions and sharing written works. I see social media posts and blog posts. I see people having conversations even when they are uncomfortable or painful. This is what needs to happen. We need to allow ourselves to be uncomfortable. People who are having suicidal thoughts are in pain. They are suffering. I think we can withstand some discomfort to work to prevent suicides and ease their pain.

Often, when someone dies by suicide, we hear people say that they didn’t know the person was thinking about suicide. They say there was no warning. But there are warning signs. This is why we need to talk more about mental health. We need to discuss mental health in our homes, in our schools, and in our workplaces. As a teacher I believe that mental health needs to be a part of school curriculums from a very young age. If we start talking about mental health with people when they are young, we normalize it. Hopefully, normalizing mental health will make it easier for people who are struggling with their mental health and those who are having suicidal thoughts to reach out for help. It will also, hopefully, lead to people be more comfortable asking someone if they are okay. Being willing to discuss mental health and suicide can make a difference.

I have lived with suicidal thoughts and been on the edge of taking my life throughout my life. For many years I did not know I could discuss how I was feeling or the suicidal thoughts I was having. It wasn’t until I learned to talk more openly that I found myself on the path to healing. This is how the narrative on suicide was changed for me. I hope that others can experience this change, which is why I use my voice now. If this blog encourages one person to reach out for help, it will have made a difference. That’s how we change the narrative, one life at a time. 

There is more help for people living with mental health disorders and suicidal thoughts now, but it is not enough. We need to work to create more avenues to provide support. We need to call on our governmental leaders to take action and fund mental health initiatives. Changing the narrative also means working to silence negative voices such as RFK, Jr. who is spreading damaging ideas. My personal action to change the narrative includes continuing to be voice for mental health action on this blog and with my involvement with groups like NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). I am going send emails to RFK, Jr. and others in the federal government explaining what mental illness is and is not. What can you do? Just reading this blog is an action step. Having one conversation about mental health is an action step. Think about what else you can do. 

I would like to end this post on a personal note. I share this in part to express gratitude and in part to demonstrate how conversations have changed and made a difference. 

As I have mentioned before back when I first started experiencing suicidal thoughts as a teenager there wasn’t much help. Mostly I dealt with it on my own. I discovered writing and wrote to help myself. But there was a counselor I owe a debt of gratitude to. She walked beside me at times. I realize now that she was strapped by the limited resources of the time. It wasn’t that my struggle with mental health and my suicidal thoughts were ignored as much as the help just didn’t exist back then. Conversations about mental health were not normal during that time. The counselor was there in the ways she could be.  Today the help I received would have looked much different. Still, somehow, I lived through those early years because the counselor did what she could. I would like to express my gratitude to her. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to find her now to say thank you. I guess I can only send my gratitude out into the universe and hope somehow in some way she feels it.

The narrative on mental health and suicide has changed in the nearly 40 years since I was a teenager living on the edge of the darkness. Thankfully, the narrative has made a positive change. But we need more. We have a lot of work to do. The number of deaths by suicide that WHO reports needs to be decreased. We need to make it okay to say, “I am not okay.” We need to make it okay to listen when others are struggling. We need to make it normal to discuss mental health. Together we can change the narrative on suicide.

 

If you are struggling, please reach out. You can call 988 or 911.