The Impact of Depression on Self-Esteem

            It is difficult to live in a world of darkness without it affecting your self-esteem. As I have mentioned, I have lived with depression since I was 14 years old.  During a time when I should have been discovering myself, learning my likes and dislikes, developing my talents and interests, depression was telling me that my life wasn’t worth living.  This prevented those things from happening.  I did not have the opportunity to build confidence or self-esteem.  Instead, I saw everything through the dark lens of depression. My mind focused on the negatives I felt.  It focused on the pain.  My mind didn’t experience happiness.  That set the stage for life moving forward.

            Self-esteem is defined as “confidence in one’s own worth and abilities”. (Oxford Languages and Google) As a person with depression, I struggle to believe in my own worth.  The messages in my mind tell me that I am not worth anything and that life is not worth living.  It makes sense that developing self-esteem would be near impossible with my mind being filled with these messages. As a result, I struggle with self-esteem.  I can understand that I have developed skills in my profession, but it is hard for me to take ownership of them.  

            It is hard to believe in myself when my mind is telling me all that I can’t do.  Depression prevents me from wanting to engage in life, dragging every aspect of my life down.  How do you tell yourself that you are good at something when you are just going through the motions?  Life becomes just an attempt to get by.  There is no real enjoyment.  

            I know I am not alone in this.  Depression steals self-esteem.  It prevents self-esteem from developing.  You can see it in the way a person with depression interacts with the world.  There is a lack of hope in our interactions that reflects our inner thoughts.  That lack of hope is a result of not having a belief in our own worth.  We have heard the negative in our minds for so long that self-esteem escapes us.

            So, how can we develop self-esteem.  For me, I have even struggled to believe that I have the capability of healing.  My mind has told me that I cannot do the things necessary to heal.  To battle this, I have had to hang onto the hope of my team.  I have had to let others hope for me.  It has helped.  But what else can we do?  How do we develop self-esteem when the depression is so loud?

            For starters, the steps must be simple.  People with depression are often not able to make big changes quickly.  We also must remember that there will be setbacks.  Here are a few things we can try:

·      Visualize: Try closing your eyes and bringing up an image of doing something well.

·      Journal: Write down what you are thinking. Try a two-way journal entry – write the negative thoughts you are having and then write a response to those thoughts from the perspective of someone who believes in you.  Maybe use words you have heard your therapist or psychiatrist use.

·      Self-Talk/Talk Back: When a thought tells you that you are not good at something, give it a little backtalk.  Say, “You are wrong. I can do that.”  This isn’t easy, but it is worth practicing.

·      Use affirmations: Find affirmations that help you and put them in places you will read them. Try memorizing a few.

·      Set realistic goals: Work with a psychologist, therapist, or trusted friend to set achievable goals for yourself.  

 

            As I write these strategies, I realize you might be thinking what I would think if I read them: “That’s too much for me.”  Trying all of them is overwhelming.  Even attempting one is going to take work and determination.  You might find you need help.  I know I have needed help.  I have leaned on my care team and on friends to help me.  To do this, especially with friends or family members, you must be clear in stating what you need.  If one strategy doesn’t work, don’t give up.  Try another strategy.  Ask your therapist or other trusted person for other ideas.  I have only listed a few.  If you have another idea, put it in the comments.  You might have the perfect idea to help someone else. 

            Developing self-esteem when suffering from depression is not easy.  It is a battle.  But it is a battle worth fighting. 

             Check back on Monday, July 17 for a new post.