Fortunately, people are more willing to go to therapy today than in the past. Therapy is an important aspect of treatment for mental health disorders. I am not a therapist, but I have spent my adult life in therapy to help me cope with major depression and anxiety. While that doesn’t mean I know everything about therapy, I think it gives me some perspective on how therapy works, how it is beneficial, and how patients need to do their part. Today I would like to talk about making the most out of the therapy experience.
I first saw a therapist when I was in college many years ago. It was the start of a healing process for me. In my twenties I went a few years without therapy. Those were very hard years. I found my way back to therapy when I was 29 because of a significant worsening in my depression. It was the most important thing I could have done. I am lucky, I have been with the same therapist, a psychologist who understands me and supports me, since then.
It’s hard to think back that far and remember the details. I know that one of the first things he helped me was to quit drinking. As a teenager I learned to self-medicate my depression with alcohol. It was not helpful, but it is how I coped for about 15 years. Dr. K, my psychologist, guided me through the stages of becoming sober, while also addressing my depression, which had become intense. I am proud to say that with his help I am 22+ years sober.
I learned early on that I had to do my share of the work. Healing takes place through the interaction between patient and therapist. We’ve talked a lot over the years as my depression has ebbed and flowed. I lean on him to make sense of a lot of what I am feeling. What helps is how he reflects my words back to me. This enables me to play an active role in my therapy experience. One way I have worked on this is through journaling. I write in my journal after appointments. It helps me remember his advice and allows me to delve further into our conversations. Writing helps me process my world. So, it makes sense that I would write after therapy appointments. Sometimes I share what I have written with him. Doing so provides affirmation of what I am thinking.
It is important to do the work necessary to process what you talk about with your therapist. I do that by writing. There are other ways to engage in this process. Meditation might be a way some people process their sessions. Something as simple as going for a walk and thinking about your conversation can help. The important thing is to hold onto what you work on in therapy. It won’t be as beneficial if you just think about it while you are in session. Processing should take place in and out of the session.
One think Dr. K has taught me is self-hypnosis. We end every session with a bit of hypnosis. It is only a few minutes, but he always gives me a hypnotic suggestion that I can take into my week. When I am struggling, I use self-hypnosis to recreate the relaxation created during the in-session hypnosis. This allows me to approach whatever is weighing on me with a clearer head. Often, I use self-hypnosis when I can’t sleep because my mind is whirling with thoughts. I take what I have learned in the therapy session and use it to help me when I need to cope on my own.
Another way to enhance therapy is to become involved in mental health activities. I choose to do this through NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). Through this organization I have learned to speak about my mental health in a positive way. I have shared my story with others. In doing so, I support myself and let others know they are not alone. Dr. K has encouraged my involvement with NAMI. It has allowed me to grow in my understanding of my mental illness and in my ability to help others.
Reading about mental illness or listening to mental health podcasts, like The Giving Voice To Depression Podcast can also help. I find this enables me to understand that I am not alone. So often depression isolates us. It tells us we are alone. When we are struggling it is difficult to see that it is an illness causing us to feel the way we do. I find that by listening to podcasts like this I feel more connected and less alone. The Giving Voice to Depression Podcast has a wealth of episodes that can help individuals who are living with depression.
My point in this post is that therapy in isolation is not enough. A therapist can help us, but we must do our part. We need to be active participants in the therapeutic process. That is the only way to heal. Unfortunately, there is no magic cure. Healing takes effort. I know it is difficult to make that effort when we are struggling. I have been there. I have struggled. The work we do when we are feeling a little better can help with this. If you are not sure how to get the most out of your therapy sessions, ask your therapist for support with this work. It can make a difference.
