Welcome October

September is over, but that doesn’t mean we stop being aware of the importance of suicide prevention. We must continue to check on each other and be there for friends and family. Being aware of suicide is a year-round necessity. As someone who has known the darkness of suicide ideation and attempts, I urge you to continue checking on each other.

October brings awareness to breast cancer. Knowing I was at risk from an early age, I have always taken breast cancer awareness seriously. Now, that I live with breast cancer, the month of October takes on new meaning for me. I have learned a special lesson as I have battled breast cancer. I think this lesson is important in the fight against breast cancer as well as the battle with depression. What is that lesson? LIVE IN THE MOMENT! Four simple words. We need to focus on living. We can’t wait for tomorrow. We need to live our lives in celebration of the wonder that is life. We need to live every moment. Say the things we want to say. Take the trips we want to take. Enjoy the little things. Hug our loved ones. Life needs to be lived because tomorrow isn’t promised. 

I spent my career working extra, always staying late or doing the extra task. Looking back, none of that meant anything. I missed out on living. If you have a choice between working overtime and attending your child’s game or concert, choose to be with your child. Work will still be there in the morning. 

I don’t have children, but I wish I had taken more time to do things for myself. Work didn’t care when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The sick days ran out and I was kicked to the curb. Twenty-six years of doing all the extras and missing out on life went unnoticed and unrewarded. I was left with nothing. No health insurance. No income. Instead, I get a disability check that barely gets me by each month. I didn’t live when I had the opportunity. Instead, I was the “good” employee. If I could do it all over again, I would make so many changes. I would put me first and work second.

Live in the moment. That is my new mantra. With that in mind I am doing something this month that is just for me. Something I have put off for a long time. I am going to Italy. I will take in all the culture and beauty. I will explore the small towns where my family once lived before immigrating to the United States. I will live in the moment. I will try to push cancer and depression out of my mind so I can experience something new. I will follow where life takes me. I will enjoy food, art, history, and culture.

With that being said, I am taking a two week break from this blog. I’ll post again (October 21^st) when I return. Hopefully, my posts will be guided by a refreshed mind after my trip.