We Don’t Know Everyone’s Story

                  I recently wrote about how people with depression often fake being okay. Today I would like to expand on this. When we interact with someone, we don’t always know what they are going through. The cashier scanning our groceries might be struggling to make ends meet. The barista making our coffee may have college exams to take and no time to study. The doctor who seems rushed may have a sick child of their own. The co-worker who seems frazzled may be caring for an elderly parent. We don’t know everyone’s story. 

                  Since we don’t always know another person’s story, we should try to be kind to others. Many of us carry heavy weights as we go through life. For some of us it is mental illness. Others carry physical illness daily. People might be struggling financially. They may have stressors that we know nothing about because we cannot see them. The person is just trying to get through their day. As someone who lives with mental and physical illness as well as the limited income of being on disability, I have stressors that make my life difficult. I do my best not to take my stress out on others. It leaks out at times. It would be foolish to believe I could hide everything. These stressors have given me a different perspective on those around me. I have learned that what we see is not always what lies in the background of people’s lives. 

                  What can we do with this knowledge? I think there is a rather simple thing we can do. Be kind. That’s it. Simple, isn’t it? Just be kind to others. We don’t know what the person standing next to us is carrying. It doesn’t cost anything to be kind. It doesn’t hurt us. Being kind includes being patient with others. It means seeing ourselves in the place of another person. How would we want to be treated if we were struggling or going through something difficult?

If the kid taking your order at the fast-food restaurant makes a mistake, be understanding. He may be trying to get through school and help support his/her/their family. We don’t need to snap at the kid. Tell the kid it is okay and let them have the time to get it right. It’s about being kind and understanding.

Being kind is about being gentle with others. Maybe you are sitting next to a stranger at an airport gate. That stranger looks stressed. Ask them how they are doing? Frequently we see news stories about strangers who formed a lasting relationship through a chance encounter. You might be the ear that person needs. Or maybe you are just a distraction to their harried day. Talk to others.

I’ve noticed on my walks that some people will acknowledge me with a smile or a “hello” while others look down at the sidewalk as we walk by each other. I try to always acknowledge someone I am walking by. Even if it is just a smile, I can acknowledge others. A smile doesn’t cost anything. Sometimes a smile can make a person’s day. I know I feel good when someone smiles at me on my walk.

Often, we get caught up in our worlds. We forget that others may be going through difficult things. We react before we take a moment to think about what someone else might be dealing with. This time of year is a good time to think about being kind to others. There is so much a person might be going through. Let’s remember that we don’t know everyone’s story and just try to be kind.