We’re Not Failing

                  The other day I saw something on Instagram that said, “Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.” This really struck me. I have been struggling recently and I can sense that feeling of failing creeping up in my mind. It has happened my whole life. Depression is difficult to live with and I go through periods in which I struggle. In these moments all the negatives jump out at me. I feel like I am not good enough. I feel like I can’t do anything. 

                  I’ve been in therapy and worked with mental health professionals enough to know that I am not failing. Still, it is difficult to remember that in the moment. One thing I’ve learned is that I need to reframe the thoughts that are telling me I am failing. This not an easy task. It takes a lot of practice. I wish I could say that I am good at reframing those negative thoughts. I know how to do it. I know I need reframe the thoughts, but it is hard. 

                  When I am struggling, the struggle is all I seem to be aware of. How can the struggle be reframed? One example is when the struggle tells me I can’t do something anymore. The struggle might tell me I can’t get out of bed because life is just too much. I can reframe this thought by telling myself, “There is a lot going through my mind right now, but I have functioned in times like these before. I can do it again.” Saying it once may not be enough. I may have to repeat it several times to get myself to listen. That’s okay. 

                  Another example is when I am trying to write a post and the voice of depression tells me no one is reading my posts and I should just give up. It tells me I can’t write well enough for others to want to read my writing. This happens more frequently than I would like to admit. At these times I need to reframe the thoughts. I need to tell myself that people have read my posts and other writings. I need to reframe the negative thoughts so that I can focus on the positives. The negative thoughts want me to feel like a failure. These thoughts want me to believe I am a failure. I need to remember the quote above. Just because I am struggling, it doesn’t mean I am not failing. I may not be where I want to be, but I am not failing.

                  Embracing the quote is not easy when depression wants me to believe the negatives. In these times I need to remember that depression will do whatever it can to tear me down. Talking back to depression by reframing thoughts is a strategy that has worked for me. It is not foolproof. There are times when I can’t do it, and I wallow in the depression. I try to remember that struggle does not equate to failure. 

                  I am sure I am not alone in this struggle. Although it usually feels like I am. That is depression talking. It is important to recognize our wins. It is important to acknowledge the things we do well and focus on the positives. It also helps if we acknowledge positives in others. By recognizing the wins in our lives and the lives of others, we are building a culture rich with positive thoughts. Those positive thoughts can lift us up in times of struggle. It is not just those of us who live with depression who face the struggle and belief we are failing. It happens to everyone. No matter how confident a person appears to be on the outside, thoughts of failure still lurk at times. Everyone struggles at times. We need to remember that struggling is not a sign of failure. We can reframe the thoughts and be successful. 

                  If you are willing, share a way that you reframe thoughts in the comment section. Or share another way you deal with thoughts that speak of failure. We can help each other by sharing how we deal with these thoughts.