You Possess the Strength to Ask for Help

                  As I have shared many times I have struggled with depression for over three decades. It started in my teen years. During that time, I didn’t understand what was going on and didn’t know how to get the help I needed. Decades of living with depression has taught me something important. What is that lesson? I possess the strength it takes to ask for help. When we are at our weakest points, we still possess the ability to reach out for help. How we reach out for help is going to vary from person to person, but when we do reach out, we need to be met with understanding. 

                  As a teenager I didn’t know how to reach out for help or that I even could reach out for help. My struggles were met by a lack of understanding from high school personnel who should have been able to help me. Maybe they were doing the best they could, given their understandings of mental health at the time. I don’t harbor bad feelings about the lack of help I received at that time. I am grateful that times have changed and that there are more avenues for help with mental health today.

                  Even though there is more help today, people often don’t seek help when they are struggling. Asking for help is seen as a sign of weakness by many, which is unfortunate.  It couldn’t be further from the truth to say that asking for help is a sign of weakness.  It takes incredible strength to recognize that you are struggling and to then reach out for help. Frequently, we don’t realize that we possess the strength to reach out. That has happened to me many times. I got through those teenage years, but even in my adult life sometimes I find myself saying that I can get through it on my own or that there is nothing anyone can do. Those words paralyze me, making it hard for me to receive the help I need. I know I am not alone in this. 

                  Fortunately for me, I have learned to reach out and say that one syllable word, “help”.  Each time I have uttered that word, I have received assistance. That has led to having a mental health team that I know I can always turn to when I am struggling. I believe it is a sign of strength to ask for this help. It requires me to recognize that I do not need to do it alone. It also requires me to understand that I don’t have to live trapped in my depression. I had to build up the ability to ask for help. Like weightlifting, it requires repetition and consistency. Each time I get myself to reach out for help, it becomes a little easier. In a sense I have developed something akin to muscle memory. When the darkness sets in and depression leads to suicidal thoughts, my mind reaches out for help. I have reached out enough for my mind to know that is what it needs to do. Of course this is not foolproof. There are other factors like trust in my mental health team. That trust increases my strength and allows me to reach out. 

                  In our darkest moments hope may seem to be absent. If we can get ourselves to reach out, we will find that there is help available. Returning to my weightlifting example, it takes practice to be able to reach out for help. We need to continue to reach out when we are struggling. Reaching out needs to be normalized. As a society we need to encourage reaching out. We need to ensure that people know they are not alone in their suffering. This is how we develop strength.  

                  Mental health professionals play a vital role in developing the strength to reach out for help. They need to encourage people to reach out. Whether it is encouraging people to reach out to them or to other available resources such as 988 or NAMI support groups, mental health professionals can provide people with a way to reach out for help. 

                  Know that if you are struggling you deserve help. You do not have to struggle alone. Even if all you can do is whisper it, you can reach out for help. Dialing 988 can be a life saver. If you just get yourself to press those three numbers, someone on the other end will help you make your needs known. If you are lucky enough to have a mental health provider, make a plan with them for what to do when the darkness is too much. 

                  “Help” is a simple word, but it is incredibly powerful. Tell yourself you possess the strength to use this word. Asking for help can make a difference. I know it has made a difference in my life.