A blog about living with major depression disorder. Sharing what life is like when depression clouds your world. Providing coping skills and information about depression and treatment. Creating a community for people to share their lived experiences. A place for people to come together and learn and heal. All are welcome.

Thursday, March 28, 2024

Affirmations for Anxiety

                  Anxiety affects many people.  It can show up in different ways and at any time.  It is more than just a temporary nervousness.  Anxiety interrupts a person’s ability to carry out daily activities. It is a diagnosable mental illness.  Anxiety impacts a person’s functioning. 

There are emotional and physical symptoms.  Common emotional symptoms include feelings of apprehension or dread, feeling tense or jumpy, restlessness or irritability, anticipating the worst and being watchful for signs of danger.  Common physical symptoms include pounding or racing heart and shortness of breath, upset stomach, sweating, tremors, twitches, headaches, fatigue, insomnia, frequent urination, and diarrhea.  A person will not necessarily experience all these symptoms.  Anxiety can manifest differently for different individuals.  

                  I first experienced anxiety when I was around 20 years old.  I remember a sense of doom coming over me and feeling like the world was closing in on me.  I didn’t know what was happening.  That feeling still occurs sometimes.  I experience chest pain associated with my anxiety.  It is important if you experience chest pain to have it checked so cardiac issues can be ruled out.  Another symptom of anxiety I experience is overbearing and intrusive thoughts.  It is one of the emotional symptoms of anxiety.  A dialogue will start in my head that is hell bent on telling me everything that is wrong or could go wrong.  It is a negative dialogue.  Another symptom I experience is being antsy.    Often, I feel as if I am on edge.  Combined with my depression, anxiety makes it difficult to function.

                  There are different types of anxiety disorders.  The most common are generalized anxiety disorder, phobias, panic disorder, and social anxiety.  I would recommend that if you experience any of the symptoms mentioned above that you see a professional.  

                  In this post I want to focus on affirmations for dealing with anxiety.  An affirmation is a statement that is true.  Affirmations are intentional.  When using them, you have a purpose. You are saying them with the intention of easing your anxiety and reminding yourself about a truth. 

You can use affirmations in different ways.  You can say them to yourself silently or whisper them to yourself.  It might be helpful to write them on Post-Its and keep them where you can easily see them.  You can try writing them in a journal. Perhaps write a particular affirmation repeatedly.  Another way to use affirmations is to record yourself repeating them and play them back.

I try to use affirmations in an attempt to talk back to my anxiety.  In all honesty, sometimes I need more than an affirmation.  That is because anxiety is an illness.  You can’t just wish it away.  The affirmations do help, though.  I find they are most useful when I catch the anxiety early in its attack.  

                  Here are examples of some affirmations you can use:

 

·      I am okay.

·      I am safe.

·      I have done this before. I can do it again.

·      I trust myself to get through this.

·      I can reach out to others. (Possibly use someone’s name)

·      I breathe in calm and breathe out worry.

·      I can take things one at a time.

·      I love and accept myself.

·      I forgive myself and let go.

·      I am doing my best and that is enough.

·      Even when I struggle, I am strong.

·      I have hope. 

 

 

Incorporating affirmations into your daily life can help ease anxiety.  Affirmations can be used in conjunction with treatments such as therapy and medication.  You do not have to handle anxiety on your own.  There is help.  If you have never been diagnosed, you might want to start by having a conversation with your primary care provider.  These providers can refer you to the right mental health professional.  It is important to remember that anxiety is an illness, and it requires health care.  

                  If you are struggling with anxiety, know that you are not alone.  It can feel like you are alone.  It can feel like the anxiety is too much to handle. I have often felt this way.  I need to remind myself to use affirmations.  With the help of my mental health team, I have developed a toolbox of coping strategies for anxiety.  Many of the coping strategies are the same as or similar to ones I use for depression.  Affirmations are a part of that toolbox. I encourage you to try some of these affirmations.  You can write some of your own if there is a specific statement you want to remind yourself of.  I will leave you with an affirmation:

 

                  I am stronger than my anxiety.

 

 

 

 

Monday, March 25, 2024

A Safe Place for Healing

    As I have shared often, writing is healing for me.  Sometimes I write at night while I struggle with the insomnia brought on by depression.  At these times I usually write in my journal, filling the pages with thoughts and poems.  During the day I find that I need to write especially now that I am unable to work due my cancer diagnosis.  I can’t just sit at home and stare at the television or nap.  I know that it is good for my depression for me to get out of the house.  That leads me to the point of today’s post, having a comfort zone, a place that feels safe.  For me that place is the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, more specifically, store number 138 on Mednick in East LA.  I love to sit here and write.  Writing is healing for me and sitting at this Coffee Bean adds to that healing.

I have been writing at this Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf for several years.  I used to show up at 5:30 am and write before I would go to work.  I would sit there and write poems.  I was always very productive on these mornings.  When I walked in the baristas would greet me.  Often, they would start my drink before I even ordered.  I’d chat with them a bit.  It was a comforting start to my day.  It was also my escape from the depression driven insomnia that plagued me.  I would have been there earlier if they had been open.

I think having a place to spend time writing has been healing for me.  Feeling comfortable here allows me to let the darkness in my mind escape through writing.  I can just write without being reminded of the loneliness I feel in my house.  I feel connected to people even though I sit by myself.  The important thing is the environment.  The smell of coffee wafts through the air.  I hear people talking, laughing.  I can pretend I am not alone.  This allows me to get lost in my writing and it somehow lifts my depression.

                  Most of all five of my books were written in this Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. Now, I write my blog posts and work on my next book here with a caramel cold brew next to me. I feel comfortable here.  My writing flows.  The words have a freedom to fill the page of my journal or the document on my computer screen.

Struggling with depression makes being in public places difficult, but this place is a haven for me.  The baristas are always kind.  I chat with most of them. After I was diagnosed with cancer, I couldn’t come in to write and drink my coffee.  I was gone for a few months as I underwent chemotherapy.  I missed my writing spot.  I missed the baristas.  I lost the comfort of my favorite writing place, the spot that lets me block out the depression.  

                  Most of the time I was receiving chemotherapy I stayed at my aunt’s house in Santa Monica.  It was not possible to hang out at my Coffee Bean because of the distance and the fact that I had to protect myself from illness. On one of the rare days I was at home, my friend came to this Coffee Bean and ordered my drink.  She told the barista it was for me and that I was fighting cancer.  The barista knew she was talking about me and bought the drink for me.  That drink tasted so good.  It also made me feel good that I hadn’t been forgotten.  

It is strange to have a connection to coffee place, but because my depression keeps me from socializing a lot, this place is my social connection.  I believe we all need a place where we feel safe.  A place where our illnesses do not matter.  When I was able to return to sitting here daily, the baristas remembered me and my drink order.  I felt welcomed back.  I have resumed my daily writing practice.  My next book is well underway, a product of sitting here with my cold brew.  My blog posts get written while I am sitting here.  I am productive despite my illnesses as I sit at this Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.

I would mention some of the baristas by name, but there are so many who have impacted me with their kindness over the years, I don’t want to miss anyone.  I have spent so much time here.  Sitting here is one of my strategies for coping with depression. I truly believe it helps me cope with my depression. Having a place that feels comfortable, a place where I feel connected allows me to stand up to my depression.  My depression can rest on the sidelines while I sit here sipping cold brew and writing.  

It seems strange that I am writing about a place in my depression blog. The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf has provided me with a space to cope with my depression and to continue healing from my cancer.  I believe sitting here writing is a part of my healing. I know that the time will come when the cancer gets worse, and I will not be able to sit here and write.  I will have to return to chemotherapy and keep myself out of public places.  Until then, I will sit here in my comfort zone and write.  I plan to finish my next book while I sit here.  I hope that the blog posts I write here attract more readers and help people.  Everyone needs a place where they feel comfortable and find healing. The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf is that place for me.  Thank you to everyone at store 138!

My intention in writing this wasn’t just to give a shout out to the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.  I want to encourage people who are living with mental illness to find their safe space, a place where they feel comfortable. That place is going to be different for everyone.  You might even have more than one place.  For example, sometimes I need to walk on the beach. It is important to identify places where you feel comfortable because being trapped at home can make your mood worse.  I’ve shared my place. I encourage you to find your place.  

 

 

 

 

                  

 

                   

                   

 

 

Thursday, March 21, 2024

The Importance of Self-Compassion in Mental Illness

                  Today I am going to take a risk and write about something I struggle with often.  I hope I am not hypocritical in my attempt to discuss this topic.  It is one thing to have knowledge.  Sometimes it is difficult to put that knowledge into action.  We are all works in progress. I cannot hide the fact that I am a work in progress.  As you read this post, know that it is okay to struggle.  We are human after all.

                  I have written a lot about how others can support someone with mental illness, but it is also important to consider how we support ourselves.  How we treat ourselves and how we perceive our mental illness are important aspects of our illness.  First and foremost, we need to recognize that we have an illness.  Mental illness is an illness.  It is not something we have brought on ourselves.  Mental illness is not our fault.  When we recognize that mental illness is an illness, we separate the illness from who we are.  That is an important step in treating ourselves with compassion.

                  Often, I have tried to figure out why I have depression and anxiety.  I question what I did to deserve to feel the way I do.  I get lost in self-blame.  When I look around me, I see people who seem to live without the struggle I live with daily.  I am aware of the stigma that is present in the media regarding mental illness. These are reminders that I am struggling.  What I sometimes forget is that my struggle is a result of an illness.  When I need to be treating myself with compassion, I am often blaming myself.  My guess is that many other people with mental illness can relate to what I am describing. 

                  How do we develop self-compassion?  How do we treat ourselves with kindness?  I wish I had an easy answer.  One phrase that I often use and is frequently seen on mental health social media posts is “It’s okay not to be okay.”  Being compassionate towards ourselves starts with recognizing that it is okay to be struggling with a mental illness.  It is okay to be depressed or anxious.  Recognizing this can remove the need for blame.  

                  Self-compassion includes telling yourself that you are worthy of care.  Accepting compassion from yourself is a part of the healing process. It is not easy by any means.  The nature of many mental illnesses is to tear a person down.  Mental illness often strips away the ability to love yourself.  Having self-compassion requires work.  I struggle with it.  The depression tells me I am not worthy of any love.  Sometimes I can talk back to it.  I can tell depression’s voice to stop.  Other times it is too strong.  It becomes a battle.  It is at these times that accepting compassion from others is instrumental.  I have learned to have compassion for myself from the compassion my mental health team has for me.  I hold onto their compassion until I can be compassionate on my own. I could view this as a crutch, but I choose to view it as a support instead.  It is that positive twist that helps me take a step toward self-compassion.

I have developed a script in my head.  The script says that if they can have compassion for me, I can have compassion for myself.  It hasn’t been easy.  As I said earlier, I still struggle with it.  In the midst of depression, it is hard to have that self-compassion.  The script is in my head and also written in my journal.  Some of the lines of my script include: “I am worthy of compassion,” “I can be depressed and still love myself,” and “Depression is not my fault. I deserve love as much as anyone.” I might need to repeat, “I am worthy of compassion” in my head a several times.  I can whisper it to myself in the moments when I am blaming myself for the depression or when I feel unworthy of compassion.  This is a form of self-talk.  It is important to say positive things to yourself when the darkness of depression is taking control.  One suggestion for learning to do this is writing a list of compassionate reminders and keeping them handy for when you need to be kind to yourself. Read the list to yourself often.  Maybe write the reminders on Post-its and stick them somewhere you will see them every day.  Repetition of these reminders is like lifting weights.  The more you lift weights, the stronger you become.  Likewise, when you say compassionate things to yourself, you become more self-compassionate.  

This process is not easy.  Living with mental illness is not easy.  But then living with any illness is difficult.  We seek treatment or care when we have a physical illness.  It is important to normalize seeking treatment or care when we have a mental illness.  That care will involve working on how we treat ourselves.  Self-compassion is important.  In fact, it is vital to healing.  I know how difficult it is to be self-compassionate.  Even after all these years, I still struggle.  I have learned that I need to keep trying to be compassionate with myself.  Having scripts ready to help me is important.  Leaning on others to help me is also important.  I have learned to be self-compassionate from the compassion of my mental health team.  Sometimes we need others to guide us.  That is okay.  

Self-compassion is an important part of living with mental illness.  Keep trying even when it is difficult.  Remember, it is okay not to be okay.  Treat yourself with compassion.  You deserve compassion. 

 

 

Monday, March 18, 2024

Broken Dreams – Struggling with Depression

             As someone who has lived most of my life with depression, I know firsthand all that depression can take away from a person.  Perhaps, stealing hope is one of depression’s main goals.  I know I have missed out on a lot in life because of my depression.  Depression suppresses the ability to dream or at least to make those dreams reality.  As I look back on my life, there are many things I wish I had experienced.  Some of them will never happen now.  It is too late.  There is hope for others, but depression makes it hard to maintain that hope.  When I am doing better, when the depression is being held at bay, I can find hope.  I can tell myself that not all my dreams are broken.  It is the times when depression is in control that my dreams seem hopeless.  

            I find that I write a lot of poetry when the depression is in control. The poem I am sharing today comes from that place of darkness.  It is the place where dreams seem hopeless.  A place where I feel I cannot even dream.  Depression makes it difficult to dream.  It makes life seem hopeless.  For me, I experience this hopelessness as a reflection of myself.  I do a lot of self-blaming.  Even though I know I am not my depression, sometimes it is difficult to separate who I am from the depression.  Those times are my most difficult because depression is in control.  Maybe you need to experience depression to understand the lack of hope that results from depression.  I know there are some people who possess the ability to be empathetic.  Often those are the people that go into healing work.  Some people develop the ability to be empathetic from having a loved one who struggles with depression.  Despite the empathy, I think living with depression creates a different level of understanding hopelessness.  It is a dark, suffocating feeling.  Personally, I hate it.  Despite my hatred, I struggle to be free of the hopelessness.  

            Treatment for depression helps.  That treatment looks different for each of us.  The waiting for treatment to be effective can be agonizing.  In those times, I find myself hanging onto the hope of others.  Sometimes that is all that helps.

            I have written more than I intended.  I had planned to just share a poem today.  However, once I start writing about depression, the thoughts often just spill out.  As you read this poem, know that it was written in a moment of darkness.  There is healing from depression, although it is an up and down journey.  Broken dreams have filled my life, but I hang onto to the hope others have for me.  They remind me that I can dream new dreams.  

 

 

Broken Dreams

 

Broken dreams stem from the depression

That has ruled my life for so long.

Dreams of a better life,

Dreams of connection,

Replaced by darkness and loneliness.

Broken dreams fill my life.

I dwell on them.

Ruminate on all the depression has stolen from me.

I am alone in my depression.

Standing barefoot on the shards of a life that could have been.

I dream about a reality I will never know,

An existence depression will never allow.

Broken dreams shout at me.

Ask me why I did not follow.

Depression blocked the path.

Left me in the darkness.

A life without meaning.

Dreams, like shards of glass, cause me to bleed.

Broken dreams, my reality.

I dare not dream again.

I know the loss I must endure.

Depression is a thief.

Stealing my dreams and leaving me hopeless.

 

Thursday, March 14, 2024

What to Say to Someone with a Mental Illness

                  We usually know what to say to someone who has a physical illness.  Even if we don’t have the words ourselves, Hallmark is there to help with a greeting card.  What do we say when someone is struggling with a mental illness?  It is often hard to find the right words.  

The first thing to remember is that the person has an illness.  The person is not feeling well and can benefit from comforting words.  Recognize that they have an illness and be empathetic.  You can ask the person how he, she, or they are doing?  Follow this by asking if there is anything you can do to help them.  This lets the person know you are interested in how they are doing and that you recognize that they have an illness.

Things you can say include:

 

                  “I am sorry you are going through this.”

                  “I am here for you.”

                  “Would you like to talk?

                  “That sounds really difficult.”

“I can see you are feeling low.  Would you like to talk about what you are feeling?

“I am here to listen, if you would like to talk.”

“How can I help you?”

“It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now.”

 

                  These are just a sampling of what you can say to someone who is struggling with a mental illness. It is important to remain nonjudgmental.  Avoid telling the person what they should do.  It is more helpful to ask them what they would like you to do to help them than for you to assume what they need.  

                  I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts that sometimes it is beneficial to just be present.  Sit with the person and be available to them.  Sometimes this will be talking to them.  Other times it might just be listening.  

                  It is important to remember that what the person is going through is a symptom of an illness.  They are not choosing to be “sad” or “negative”.  They are not trying to get attention through their tears.  Mental illness is causing them to feel and act the way they are.  Just like a physical illness causes various physical symptoms, mental illness causes various mental and physical symptoms.  Be considerate of this.  Their symptoms are real.

                  You can let the person know that while you may not have experienced what they are going through, you want to help.  If the person is able, they can tell you what they need.  If it is a person you are close to, it can be beneficial to talk about how you can help when they are feeling better.  Try to establish a plan with them for those times when they need support.  It can be as simple as things you can say, or it can be more formal safety plan. For example, some of my friends know things that they can say to me when I am struggling.  I also have a friend I feel comfortable sharing my safety plan with for times when I cannot help myself.  Ask the person, what they would like from you.  They might want to tell you who to contact when they are really struggling.  

                  It is also important to recognize that the person may need some time alone.  If this is the case, give them that space, but check back in on them.  There are times when I just need to be alone.  During these times nothing anyone says is going to lift my mood.  I just need to have my own space and be able to use my coping strategies.  It is okay if a person needs that.  Just remember to check back in with them to ensure they are okay.

                  There may be times when the person’s personal safety is in danger.  It helps to have a plan ready in advance for these moments.  That is easier if you are close to the person.  If you do not know the person’s safety plan, but you are concerned that they may hurt themselves, you can contact 988 or 911.  I would recommend 988 because it is answered by mental health professionals and will lead to the proper help quicker.  You should be aware that in the moment the person may be upset with you.  That is okay.  Once they have received the help and are safe, they are likely to appreciate your actions.  

                  On a lighter note, if you have a friend or loved one who struggles with mental illness, you can send them a card or note.  You may have trouble finding a pre-written card in stores, but you can always write something comforting and supportive in a blank card.  Just let the person know you are thinking about them.  Let them know you care.  Use one of the messages from above or write your own.  By letting the person know they are not alone and that you care, you are helping them cope with their illness.  Don’t worry if you don’t have the perfect words.  Trust me the person will be grateful that you cared enough to try. Caring about the person is the most important aspect of helping a person with mental illness.

 

 

                  

                  

Monday, March 11, 2024

Anyone Can Be Affected by Mental Illness

            I read a quote that really made me think.  So, I decided to write about it.  Here is the quote:

            "Anyone can be affected, despite their level of success or their place on the food chain. In fact, there is a good chance you know someone who is struggling with it since nearly 20% of American adults face some form of mental illness in their lifetime. So why aren’t we talking about it?” — Kristen Bell

            Mental illness is a reality in our world.  Bell is correct when she says anyone can be affected by mental illness.  It can attack anyone regardless of race, religion, or socio-economic status.  Mental illness does not discriminate.  I didn’t check her statistic, but it is in the right ballpark. We probably all know someone who lives with mental illness whether we know it or not.  So, yes, we should be talking about mental illness.

            What does mental illness look like?  There is no one description of mental illness.  It doesn’t have a typical look. Mental illness looks different for each individual it affects.  Mental illness can mean depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, or borderline personality disorder.  These are just a few of the disorders that fall under the umbrella of mental illness.  These disorders have many symptoms.  Some are shared across disorders.  Others are unique to specific disorders. 

            What does talking about mental illness mean?  Talking about mental illness means having conversations about these disorders and how they affect people.  It means raising awareness by being open about these disorders.  These conversations are difficult.  They require openness and honesty.  We should be talking about ways to ensure individuals with these disorders are receiving the health care they deserve.  The conversations should be no different than a conversation about a physical illness.

When talking about mental illness it is important to put the person first.  For example, we should be saying a person with depression, not a depressed person.  Recognizing the person before the disorder is important.  It shows respect for the individual.  He, she, or they are not the diagnosis.  

Mental health disorders are not descriptors.  We should not be using these diagnoses as adjectives.   The weather is not bipolar.  A person is not depressed when their favorite football team loses.  Someone who likes things clean is not OCD.  Using mental health disorders in this way is not talking about mental illness.  This is how mental illness becomes demeaned and stigmatized.  

With the number of people who suffer from mental illness, discussions should be taking place about identification, treatment, prevention, recovery, and research.  We have these conversations about illnesses such as cancer and heart disease.  Mental illness deserves the same attention.  

According to John Hopkins Medicine, 26% of Americans 18 and older have a diagnosable mental health disorder. That is about 1 in 4 American adults.   That is a significant number, and it is not even counting children with mental health disorders.  By comparison, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 5% of adults aged 20 and older have coronary artery disease (CAD).  When looking at cancer, approximately 39.5% of Americans will be diagnosed with cancer according to the National Cancer Institute.  These numbers show that mental illness impacts Americans at a similar rate as other diseases that receive attention. 

My interpretation of these statistics is that mental illness affects enough people that it should be given equal attention.  It should be talked about.  Action should be taken.  I am grateful that the conversation has increased.  When my mental illness first emerged, there was very little conversation about depression.  Its presence was hushed.  The resources available were slim.  I had no one to turn to for support.  As a result, I did what many people with mental illness do, even today, I kept it hidden.  When you hide mental illness, it makes it more difficult to receive treatment.  Even though I felt alone and at times still do today, the numbers indicate that I am not alone.  That is why we need to have conversations about mental health.

Awareness and funding need to be raised.  Thankfully, the conversation is getting louder. Organizations like NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) are trying to get mental illness into conversations at all levels.  Awareness is spreading, but we need more.  We need to not only discuss mental illness, but we need to reduce the stigma.  We need to normalize taking mental health days in school and the workplace.  Jokes about mental illnesses need to stop.  When the social media or the entertainment industry make jokes about mental illness, they are making it harder for a person with a mental illness to reach out for help.  

Bell points out that it shouldn’t matter who we are, we can have a mental illness.  People of any socioeconomic status, any race, or any religion can have a mental illness.  These disorders do not discriminate.  No one is immune. For that reason, the issue of mental illness should concern all of us.  Paying attention to your friends and family is important step.  Ask others how they are doing and listen to the answer.  

The important thing is to remember that mental illnesses are illnesses.  We need to take them as seriously as heart disease, cancer, and other physical illnesses.  Seeing a therapist or other mental healthcare professional should be just as normal as seeing a primary care provider.  When you hear someone make a joke or use a mental illness causally, take advantage of the opportunity to educate them.  Let them know mental illness is not a joke.  

It is important to take care of your own mental health.  Learn about the signs of mental illness. Reading blogs like this one can be a good step towards learning about mental illness. There are podcasts you can learn from.  I recommend The Giving Voice to Depression podcast, which can be found wherever you get your podcasts.  

We can encourage our lawmakers to designate funding to mental health or participate in fundraisers for mental health.  Add positives to the conversation.  Someday you or someone you love may suffer from a mental illness.  

Thursday, March 7, 2024

Different Types of Mental Health Professionals

                  When you are first looking for help with a mental health disorder, the number of different mental health professionals can be confusing.  In today’s post I will try to make sense of some of the options.  I am not a mental health professional.  By no means is this list meant to be authoritative or exhaustive.  I am a person with lived mental illness experience who has seen several professionals about my illness.  My intent in sharing this information is to provide assistance to those trying to navigate the mental health system.  It can be an overwhelming process especially when a person is struggling.

                  You may need more than one of these professionals.  I have a team that includes four members.  That is not always necessary.  From my personal perspective, each member of my mental health team adds to my treatment and healing and are instrumental.  I believe a team approach is beneficial to living with mental illness. 

                  Let’s look at some different mental health professionals.

Psychiatrist

                  A psychiatrist is a licensed medical doctor.  They are either an MD (Doctor of Medicine) or DO (Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine).  Psychiatrists have completed a residency training in psychiatry.  They address both the mental and physical aspects of mental illness.  Psychiatrists diagnose mental health conditions.  Once they have diagnosed a patient, psychiatrists prescribe and monitor medication.  They also can provide therapy.  Psychiatrist can also prescribe alternative treatments for mental illnesses including transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), ketamine, and electric convulsive treatment (ECT).  

 

Psychologist

                  A psychologist has a doctorate degree in clinical psychology.  This can be a Ph.D. or a Psy.D.  They are licensed by their state.  Psychologists evaluate a person’s mental health.  They use clinical interviews, psychological evaluations, and tests.  A psychologist uses the information they gain from these tools to make a diagnosis.  They provide individual and group therapy.  Psychologist often use psychotherapy (talk therapy) with patients.  Some types of therapy used by psychologists include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectal behavior therapy (DBT), interpersonal therapy, humanistic therapy, and psychodynamic therapy. 

 

Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner

                  A psychiatric nurse practitioner has a Master of Science (MS) or Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.) in nursing with a specialized focus in psychiatry.  They have either PMHNP-BC, which is board certification in psychiatric nursing, or they have NCLEX, which is National Council Licensure Examination.  Psychiatric nurse practitioners provide assessment, diagnosis, and therapy for patients with mental illness or substance use disorders.   Depending on their state, they can prescribe and monitor medication.  A psychiatric nurse practitioner blends nursing and psychiatric expertise when treating patients.  

 

Therapists/Counselors

                  Therapists and counselors have a master’s degree (MS or MA).  They can evaluate a person’s mental health.  When working with individuals they use therapeutic techniques based on specific training programs.  There is different licensing for therapists and counselors.  LPC stands for Licensed Professional Counselor.  LMFT stands for Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. LCADAC stands for Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselor.   Therapists work with people on understanding their thoughts, feelings, and choices.  

 

Social Worker

                  A social worker has a Master of Social Work (MSW) degree.  These professionals can evaluate a person’s mental health.  They use therapeutic techniques based on specific programs. Social workers are trained in case management and advocacy services.  Their role is often to empower individuals with mental illness to lead lives that are fulfilling and independent.  

 

Primary Care Provider

                  A primary care provider (PCP) is a doctor (MD), physician’s assistant (PA), or nurse practitioner (NP).  This provider can prescribe medication.  They can refer a patient to providers who specialize in mental health.  In the best scenarios a primary care provider works with other mental health professionals to provide the quality care.

 

                  Often, the first line of defense against mental illness is the primary care provider.  They are usually the provider who is going to see the patient most often prior to diagnosis.  Primary care providers should screen for mental health disorders and refer patients to the appropriate mental health care provider.  Once the patient has a mental health care provider, the PCP should work collaboratively with that provider to ensure the patient’s care.  

                  I have seen all the above providers except a social worker.  In my experience the best mental health professionals are the ones who listen not only to what the patient is saying, but also to what the patient is not saying.  They are empathetic and patient centered.  High-quality mental health care professionals treat the whole patient by being aware of their needs.  They ask meaningful questions.  They are not quick to slap a label on a person.  Instead, they see the person as an individual with an illness that they can treat.  

                  It is important to be comfortable with your mental health providers.  It is okay to try out professionals to ensure you have the right fit.  Being able to talk to your mental health care provider is crucial.  Even if you are not someone who is comfortable talking, there needs to be a comfort in the communication you have with your provider.  A good provider will support you in the communication aspects of treatment.  Don’t worry if you try a mental health provider and don’t feel there is a fit.  But make sure you try someone else. Don’t give up because a provider didn’t meet your needs.  We all deserve high-quality mental health care providers.  The right one for you is out there.  As an example, I have seen several psychiatrists over the years.  I had to learn that it was okay to change psychiatrists.  I have finally found the right one.  You will know when you have the right provider.  Trust yourself. 

                  There are a lot of great mental health providers out there.  If you are looking for one, ask your medical group for the names of providers.  You can ask your PCP to recommend someone.  There are also a lot of new ways to find a provider online, but that is for another post.  It is my hope that everyone can find the high-quality mental health providers like I have found.  It truly makes a difference.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, March 4, 2024

Holding onto Hope

                  Living with illness can leave a person struggling to find hope.  I have experienced hopelessness throughout my life as I have fought depression and anxiety.  My battle with cancer has added to that struggle.  It is often difficult to have hope in the face of illness.

By its nature depression steals hope from people.  The voice of depression drills negative thoughts into our heads.  We become hopeless because the darkness is so consuming.  It is difficult to believe that life can get better.  The messages that surround us can range from, “I can’t do this” to “I would be better off dead.”  Depression is cruel.  It steals our hope for a better life, a healthy life.  It is important to remember that depression cannot be fought alone.

In my case, cancer has jumped into the picture.  It threatens to take my life.  Confusion sets in.  When my test results were bad, it was hard to have hope that I would be able to beat cancer.  I needed help beyond just the medical treatment I was receiving. 

Overcoming illness, whether mental or physical, or in my case, both, requires hope.  However, that hope can be difficult to summon on our own.  An important lesson I have learned is that it is okay to lean on the hope of others when I cannot find hope on my own.  My mental health team was the first to teach me that.  Dr. Klein has been by my side for a very long time.  He has never given up on me.  He has shown me that hope exists even when I don’t see it.  Just by being by my side and encouraging me, he shows me that he has hope for me and that I can hang on to his hope.  This knowledge has allowed me to pick myself back up after some really trying times. 

Dr. S shares her hope for me through her optimism.  She is always there for me and creates a view of life for me that lets me know I can get through tough times.  It was Dr. S who guided me towards TMS as a means of overcoming the depression when medication was not working.  I had reached a point where I didn’t believe I could overcome the depression, but Dr. S said TMS could help me.  With her and Dr. Klein encouraging me, I was able to take the risk and give TMS a chance.  I was holding onto their hope for me when I didn’t have hope for myself.  (If you are interested in TMS, see my posts dated, October 30 and November 13, 2023)

In the past few years, I have hit some dark times.  There was a point where the TMS didn’t seem to be working.  I was in a really dark place.  I was having self-harm and suicidal thoughts.  My team was there for me.  Stephanie realized I was at a point where I needed more than the TMS could offer.  I vividly remember her telling me there was still hope.  She reached out and let me hold onto her hope for me.  That is when I started ketamine treatment.  Through the whole process, Stephanie, Dr. Sullivan, and Dr. Klein were allowing me to hold onto their hope for me.  This gave the treatment space to get to work on me.  At times, I didn’t have hope of my own.  My world was too dark.  By holding onto their hope for me, I was able to keep fighting and eventually come out of the darkness.

Little did I know that shortly after I started healing, another illness would knock me back down.  I was diagnosed with cancer last July.  Right from the beginning I knew I couldn’t fight alone.  My primary care provider, Cristina, gave me hope starting at the moment she told me I had cancer.  Having learned to hold onto hope from my mental health team, I knew I had to trust Cristina's and her nurse, Henry’s, hope for me.  That hope led me to keep fighting to find the right oncologist to lead my battle.  Dr. St has given me hope.  The first oncologist I saw left me thinking I was going to die.  Dr. St stepped in and allowed me to lean on her hope in my cancer fight.  Cindi, the oncology nurse navigator, who encourages me to dance through my cancer treatment gives me the hope that I will beat cancer.  Dr. St and Cindi allow me to hang onto their hope.  I wouldn’t be able to do that if my mental health team hadn’t taught me how to hang on to the hope of others.  Without holding onto the hope of others, my cancer battle would be very different.

So, how do you hold onto the hope of others.  That is difficult to explain.  I don’t think there is any specific formula that I have followed.  The ability to hold onto the hope of others stems from trust.  You need to trust the person whose hope you are going to hang onto.  That person does not have to be a health care provider.  It may be family member or friend.  It may be a mentor.  The key is to be honest with that person about what you are going through.  Even when you don’t want to believe their positive words, you need to allow those words to enter your consciousness.  The words of hope may not make sense at first, but if you keep listening, they will grow stronger.  The trust it takes to do this is hard to develop.  Know that the person you are trusting has your best interest in mind.  Believe that they care about you and want you to get better.  I’ll admit this is easier to do with a physical illness.  The deep darkness of depression and suicidal thoughts are difficult to emerge from.  I know this from a lifetime of experience.  But there is a light deep within me that is kept lit by my mental health team.  In my darkest moments I must remind myself that the light is within me.  Their hope keeps it lit.  If I can just hold onto the light of their hope, I will get through the darkness.  With Dr. Klein, Dr. S, and Stephanie holding hope for me and guiding me, I believe I can get fight depression and anxiety.  

The same is true of physical illness.  You must trust your medical team in order to hang onto their hope. I trust Cristina, Henry, Dr. St and Cindi.  I know they are keeping a light of healing burning inside of me.  I am not naïve enough to believe that they are stronger than cancer, but I do believe they are able to keep me healthy enough to fight this battle.  I know Dr. St will do everything in her power to beat the cancer.  I know Cristina will take care of all my other physical health issues.

Not everyone has the same support I have.  That is an issue that we as a society need to address.  We need to ensure that everyone, regardless of socio-economic status or race has access to high-quality mental and physical healthcare.  This is one of the reasons that I support NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). As an organization, NAMI works tirelessly to help everyone get help with mental health issues.  There are many physical health organizations that people can support as well.  Since I have breast cancer, I am choosing to support a cancer organization. There are many organizations we can choose to support.  That support doesn’t always need to be monetary.  You can support an organization just by being involved.   

I will continue to lean on my mental and physical health teams to help me have hope for healing.  I am grateful I have them.  I wish that for everyone.  If you do not have someone you can lean on for hope, know that I have hope for you.  Reach out to someone you trust.  Find the right doctor, therapist, or nurse.  Join a support group.  I have been a part of support groups for both my mental and physical health.  These groups are helpful. When we have support systems in place, we can have more hope.  That hope is necessary for healing.  Don’t give up on finding hope.  You can heal.  We all can.

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