“My mental health isn’t perfect. It’s an ongoing project.”
– Lauren Betts, college basketball player
The above quote is incredibly powerful and wise. Lauren Betts is a college (soon to be WNBA) player, who has lived with depression. Her realization that “mental health isn’t perfect” and that it is an “ongoing project” shows so much insight for a young person. I feel sadden that such a young person has had the experience to understand this about mental illness. At the same time, I have so much admiration for her. Her story is a powerful lesson, but it is hers to tell, not mine. She has shared it in a beautifully written essay for The Players’ Tribune. Read it here: "I Want to Be Here".
This young woman shares her story for attention, but the not the attention that brings fans or grows a social media platform. She is using her story to bring attention and awareness to mental illness. At first glance this is a young woman who has so much. An elite basketball player with opportunity waiting for her in the WNBA, she seems to have everything going for her. Depression still attacked her. She fought the darkness and the hard thoughts that go with depression. She sought help. She realized that she wanted to fight depression and live. Now, as she shares her story, her goal is to help others. On the brightest stage of women’s basketball, right after winning a national championship with her UCLA teammates and being named most outstanding player, she said she wants to help others. Despite the struggles she has been through, she has set her sights on helping others discover that even when depression is at its darkest, life is worth living.
Before I move on, I encourage you to read her story after you read this post. If you have young people in your life, share her story with them. If you have student athletes in your life, share her story with them. Share the resilience and hope that Lauren Betts exudes with them. Many young people are struggling with mental illness even if we do not know it. Let them hear the story of a student athlete who has been in their shoes.
Acknowledging that mental health is not perfect is important. Even on our best days, on the days when the world thinks we have it altogether, we might still be struggling. Our mental health ebbs and flows. We need to remember that it is an illness. It requires care and treatment. There is no perfect cure for mental illness. We can learn to manage our mental health. We can heal with treatment. Even with all this, there are still going to be difficult times. There are going to be times when depression or anxiety (or the symptoms of any mental illness) will remind us they are there. We will experience the darkness of depression. Our thoughts may turn negative or hopeless. Remember it is okay to experience these emotions and thoughts. As Betts states, “…mental health isn’t perfect.” What matters is that we show up each day and are willing to work on our mental health.
In this way mental health is an “ongoing project.” We need to work to heal. That work involves taking medication, participating in therapy, seeing our mental health care providers, receiving non-traditional treatments, and/or practicing self-care strategies and coping skills. Living with mental illness is not easy. Working to better our mental health is necessary. It is hard work, but the rewards, the healing, are worth the effort.
I love that Betts calls mental health an “ongoing project”. It is incredible that such a young person understands this. I do not think that I understood that at her age. She is absolutely right. We can never stop working on our mental health. When we work on our mental health, we make discoveries about ourselves. We learn that we do not need to listen to what depression tells us. We learn that depression and anxiety lie to us. Depression and anxiety have loud, strong voices. It takes work to drown them out. As we work on our mental health, we learn to talk back to the voices of depression and anxiety. It is not an easy process, but if we see it as an ongoing process, one that will have ups and downs, we are better able to focus on the work.
Depression often makes us feel that life is not worth living. It is lying to us, but the lies are spewed in a loud, convincing voice. We start to believe the voice. At times we want to give up. With the help of our mental health providers, we do the work necessary to overcome the voice of depression. When we read stories like the story Lauren Betts has shared, we learn that we “want to be here.” We learn that we want to live.
Sharing our stories is an important part of the “ongoing project” of living with depression and other mental illnesses. Even as someone who has lived with depression and anxiety for almost 40 years, I learn from hearing or reading someone else’s story. I learned from Lauren Betts’ story. Our stories are valuable. They allow us to realize that we are resilient. When we share our stories, we share our resilience. We give each other hope. That is why I write this blog and work so hard to post twice each week. I never know who will gain something from my story and what I am sharing.
There are many young people like Lauren Betts, who at first look have it all together. Many young people who excel at something like sports, may seem to be alright, but under all the accolades might be struggling. Behind the baskets, the homeruns, the touchdowns, or the goals is human who experiences emotions that we do not see. The same is true of the young person who excels at music, art, or gets good grades. Just as important, the young person who is just one face in the crowd, the one who fades into the background, or the one who is getting into trouble all experience emotions. We do not always see the struggle. So, it is important that we check in on all these young people. It is important that we check in on each other, too. We are all ongoing projects. Our mental health is not perfect, no matter what we show on the outside.
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