Radio Station Perpetuates Mental Illness Stigma

There is something bothering me. I frequently flip around to different radio stations while I am driving. One of the radio stations I listen to used treatments for depression as a joke. I find this offensive. They would not make jokes about a heart medication or chemotherapy. Why is it okay to joke about mental illness treatments? This radio station seems to think that ketamine and psilocybin are humorous. As someone who is treated with ketamine in the form of esketamine, I did not find their jokes funny. I need this treatment to battle depression. It is not a joke to me or to the many people who receive these treatments. It is not a joke to the mental health professionals who treat people with ketamine and psilocybin. 

I understand that this radio station pokes fun at a lot. Its computer-generated voice is intended to be funny. Sometimes it is funny. I even laugh at some of their jokes, but that is when the humor is not at someone’s expense. Unfortunately, making jokes about mental health treatments is not funny and it does hurt people. It perpetuates the stigma surrounding mental health. These jokes might stop a person who is suffering from mental illness from trying a treatment that could bring healing.

Living with mental illness is difficult enough without jokes being made at our expense. We need access to treatments that can provide healing. I guess the jokes may have seemed harmless to many. Just a little radio humor. Maybe there was no ill-intent, and it was a product of not understanding the harm that it caused. That does not excuse the airing of the jokes. A media company has a certain obligation to be aware of what they are airing. A simple internet search about ketamine and psilocybin would have provided information on how these treatments help people and are not a laughing matter.

I was not going to call out the radio station, but I have not received a response to the email I sent. First, I sent an email to the parent company. I received a response from them saying they did not have control over what the local stations say on the air. The message stated that my email would be forwarded to the Los Angeles station. I have not heard anything from the local station. So, I feel I am justified in saying which station made these jokes.  It is Jack FM, 93.1 in Southern California. 

We need more education about how mental illness impacts people. An effort needs to be made to learn more about treatments and to understand that these treatments are just as important as the treatments for physical illnesses. I have this platform. So, today’s post is my attempt to draw attention to the need for radio stations and other media outlets to be aware of how their words impact people.

I have written about esketamine on this blog before. If you are interested in learning more about this treatment, check out these posts, Gardening the Mind (Esketamine Treatment), which was a guest post written by psychiatric nurse practitioner, Stephanie Debnath, PMHNP, who treats patients with esketamine, and Fertilization and Purple Lights (Esketamine Treatment), which I wrote to share my experience with esketamine as a treatment for my depression. 

I do not know enough about psilocybin to write a post right now, but I will make an effort to learn and write a post in the near future.

I still hope to hear from the radio station. It is also my hope that the radio station will try to avoid these types of jokes. 

I hope this post makes people aware that mental illness is not a joke. I also hope it provides an appreciation for the fact that people with mental illness deserve understanding and empathy, not ridicule. 

 

A Heavy Load and a Smile

Because I carry it well doesn’t mean it’s not heavy. – Unknown

                  There are so many people who live with mental illness. It is a heavy load. It is difficult to carry. It weighs us down. Yet you may not notice when someone is carrying that heavy load. The reason for that is that we are used to carrying the load of mental illness and have learned to disguise it. 

                  Oftentimes I wear a smile on my face even though I am struggling with my depression or anxiety. It is not because I am having an easy time carrying it. Rather it is because I do not want anyone to know I am struggling. I do not want to be asked questions. I do not want to hear platitudes. Hiding mental illness is often easier than explaining what I am going through. As a result, I have learned to carry my load well. If you do not know me, you will think I am fine. You will not recognize that underneath the smile I am struggling. 

                  How do we learn to cover up our heavy load? It is not easy. It comes from years of practice. First, we recognize that others do not understand what we are living with daily. We ask ourselves, “how can we protect ourselves from the judgement of others?” The answer comes to us. We need to pretend we are okay. That is the answer we arrive at because we are in pain. We cannot let others know that we are struggling with depression or other mental illnesses. Instinctively, we know that most people will not understand. Our load is heavy, but we cannot risk ridicule or misguided attempts to cheer us up. 

                  Mental illness is heavy. It is difficult to rise out of the depths of the darkness that heavy load wraps around us. Still, many of us have learned how to disguise the illness that plagues us. We smile. We go to work or school. We run errands. All while feeling the pain of mental illness. I have done this most of my life. I could not risk letting my depression and anxiety be noticed at work. I could not explain what I was going through to family and friends. I knew colleagues, family, and friends who did not live with depression and anxiety would not understand. So, I learned to wear a fake smile. I learned to blame physical illnesses such as colds and the flu for the days I just could not  bear to be around others. 

On the surface I carry the heavy load of mental illness well. Many of us do. Underneath it is struggle. I wish that I did not need to hide my depression and anxiety. There are times when I share it. I can share with my mental health team. With them I am honest about my struggles. I know that they will understand. I know that they will not judge me. I am safe. I wish I could be safe in other areas of my life. I do feel safer now than I did a few years ago. I have learned that I can be honest with certain people and in certain environments. There is a sense of relief when I can allow my load to be seen. 

We all carry different loads. Some are heavier than other loads. That is why kindness, which I wrote about in a post last week, is so important. If we are kind, we make it easier for others to share their loads. Kindness makes a difference. When someone is kind, I am less likely to disguise my load. If I know I am going to be treated with kindness and understanding, I am more willing to be open about what I am going through. I think most of us who carry heavy loads are looking for understanding and kindness. We do not need others to know everything about what we are struggling with. We just need an effort to understand and be kind. The understanding we are looking for is just an acknowledgement that what we are going is difficult. It is a heavy load that not everyone experiences. It is enough for someone to just be kind. Maybe sit with us or offer a word of support. 

Even the person who looks like they are fine might be carrying a heavy load. The holiday season is a time when some people’s loads grow even heavier. I know for me my depression and anxiety usually increase during the holidays. So, as we enter the holiday season, remember that others may be carrying a heavy load. Be kind and understanding. Your kindness and understanding might just make a difference for someone. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daily Kindness

If we all do one random act of kindness daily, we just might set the world in the right direction. – Martin Kornfeld

 

                  Kindness. Such a simple thing. Despite its simplicity kindness is often absent in our world. We all need kindness. One simple act of kindness has the power to make changes. When we are kind to someone, we lift them up. We make them feel better. When we are kind, we also give ourselves a boost. 

                  Kindness is defined as “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.” It does not take much to be kind. Offering a word of appreciation or holding a door open are simple things we can do daily to be kind. Kindness is contagious. Let’s say someone holds a door open for you. It is likely that at the next door you will hold it open for someone else. Kindness is contagious. 

                  Why am I writing about kindness on a mental health blog? The answer is simple. Kindness has a positive effect on mental health. Kindness increases mood-enhancing neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. When you perform acts of kindness these neurotransmitters affect feelings of pleasure and satisfaction. This leads to increased happiness and wellness. Kindness also releases oxytocin, which reduces stress and builds social connections. Being kind decreases cortisol levels, which leads to a reduction in stress. The endorphins released when we engage in acts of kindness create what can be referred to as a “helpers high”. This is a natural pain killer and mood elevator. So, there is science behind being kind.

                  Being kind also strengthens social connections. It builds positive relationships, which can help fight feelings of isolation and loneliness. These feelings are often a part of mental illnesses. Any boost in feelings of social connection can lift mood and maybe bring a smile to the face of someone living with mental illness. As mood is lifted and social connection is increased, a person is likely to become more resilient. The more resilient we are, the more able we are to deal with difficult times. A little kindness can go a long way in helping a person with mental illness. 

When we are being kind our perspective shifts. We move away from a focus on our own problems and worries to being aware of the needs and situations of others. When we focus on being kind our outlook on life improves. A simple act of kindness can provide us with a way to recognize the positives around us.

                  The effects of kindness also occur when someone is kind to us. We experience a boost in mood when someone does a kind act or says a kind word to us. We feel noticed. We recognize that we are being acknowledged. That gives us a boost in mood. Sometimes that one act of kindness can make a difference. We feel acknowledged and recognized.

                  Let’s think about someone with a mental illness, or really anyone, who is having a rough time. Maybe they are in a public space trying to take care of errands while they are feeling down. They are struggling to get things accomplished. You say good morning to them and maybe compliment something they are wearing. That may be the only positive interaction they have that day. It could give them a positive feeling about themselves. It may give them a sense of connection. It did not take much on your part to be kind in that instance. 

                  Being kind can be demonstrated in other ways. We can send someone a card or leave a note with words of kindness. Have you ever received a card? My guess is yes. How did it make you feel? Did it make you smile? Giving a card is a simple way of being a kind. Another way might be to give a small token of appreciation. A gift can let someone know they are cared about. It does not have to be expensive. You can even make it. A batch of homemade cookies can show someone you care about them. 

                  The mental health benefits of being kind are important. Being kind can lift a person’s mood, whether they are the one being kind or are the recipient of kindness. If we each did one act of kindness a day, we can spread kindness through the world. Kindness is contagious. If someone is kind to you, you are likely to be kind to someone else. I think our world needs more kindness right now. I will stay away from being political here, but our country sure could use more kindness right now. Perhaps if we each take the time to be kind, we can help our country be a kinder place to live. 

                  On a side note, as I was writing this post, I learned that Thursday was World Kindness Day. Maybe that is why I saw the above quote on social media. Thanks to BC Mental Health Awareness Project for sharing this quote. World Kindness Day is a perfect time to start being kind. My challenge to all of us is to go out and do something kind today. 

                  

The Implications of AI on Mental Health

                 I have been intrigued by some of the uses of AI (Artificial Intelligence). I became more intrigued when I heard that it can be used for mental health. Despite my intrigue, I was skeptical. What I found indicates that there are positives and negatives to the use of AI with mental health. It seems that even though there are some positive possibilities, AI cannot replace the human aspect of mental health support. Let’s take a look at some of the positives and negatives.

                  We first need to ensure that if AI is going to be used to support individuals with mental illness, the integration of AI needs to follow ethics, be transparent, and have human oversight. AI should not be used in isolation for mental health support. The people who use AI in this way, need to understand the risks and limitations of its use. Mental health safeguards need to be in place. Ethical guidelines need to be followed. In addition, data needs to be protected. While I have not researched the specifics, AI does collect data. So, using it for mental health would include allowing your information to be collected. 

                  One positive implication of AI on mental health is improved access. There are AI chatbots and digital therapists that can provide 24/7 emotional support and early intervention. This can be useful in areas where services are scarce or where receiving services is stigmatized. These AI tools can track moods, help a person practice CBT techniques, and allow a person to receive crisis resources quickly. While these sound great, I am hesitant to support the use of AI chatbots and digital therapists. I would rather a person call the 988 lifeline. I just do not think a computer or AI can replace a human. It certainly cannot replace a human psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist. In a mental health emergency, I would rather rely on a human than a computer. 988 provides the human connection that AI cannot.

                  Another positive mental health implication that is listed for AI is the ability to detect signs of depression, anxiety, or suicidal ideation early. AI can analyze speech, facial expressions, and social media activity. This analysis would allow it to detect warning signs early. Again, while this seems like a positive, I do not think I would want anyone relying on this. There are AI-assisted tools that mental health providers can utilize to identify at-risk individuals and to personalize treatment. These tools include Mindstrong, Ellipsis Health, and general screening/monitoring platforms that continuously monitor biomarkers, texts, and usage. Please note that I do not have specific information on these tools, and I am not endorsing them. I am simply noting that they exist. I would much rather these tools be used by a provider than having an individual with a mental illness rely on AI by themselves. 

                  There are noted negative implications of the use of AI for mental health. First, it can lead to an overreliance on AI companions, which would lead to a reduction in interaction. The lack of human interaction could potentially worsen symptoms. It might increase loneliness and increase social anxiety. If a person is relying on AI companions, such as AI “friends” or “therapists”, a sense of false intimacy may develop. There is no genuine empathy with AI, which can negatively impact a person with a mental illness. 

                  Another negative implication involves privacy and trust. Mental health data that is input into AI can be misused or leaked. An individual using an AI program for mental health does not know where their data is being stored or who has access to it. I would not want my personal mental health data out there in cyberspace being used in ways I did not intend for it to be used. 

                  A third negative implication is the possibility of misinterpretation of cultural or linguistic expressions of distress. This can lead to the neglect of some vulnerable groups. It can lead to misclassification of disorders and biased diagnoses. 

                  Finally, reliance on AI leads to a person being exposed to continuous curated content. In other words, too much exposure to social media platforms that utilize AI. There is a lot of research available about the overuse of social media. Too much social media or other internet content is not healthy for anyone. 

                  When used correctly by mental health professionals as a supportive tool AI can have positive implications for mental health. The key is that human connection and empathy need to remain at the core. I realize that not everyone has access to mental health care, or they might be in area where that service is stigmatized. As I mentioned earlier, I think 988 is a better alternative to AI. Yes, humans can make mistakes just like AI, but I would rather place my trust in a trained human than an AI program relying on algorithms. 

                  The use of AI is not going away. In fact, it will likely grow. I do believe that AI has a role in our society. I use it for research. However, when I use AI, I am aware that it is just a tool. I think in the realm of mental health, this tool is best utilized as a support used by mental health professionals as part of their treatment tools. Mental health is an area that is rooted in human connection. While AI can be helpful, I caution against allowing it to replace human support. 

 

My Old Self Wouldn’t Recognize Me

“…reading old journal entries and I know her, but she doesn’t know me.”

 

A social media friend posted this quote the other day.  It made me think about my long-time journal work. I have more old journals than I can count. So, I took some time to think about the writings that have carried me through so much over the years.  As I reflected, I realized how much I have grown through my journaling practice. 

My early journaling practice started when I was a teenager. I wrote poems in red spiral notebooks. I still have those notebooks. It was not traditional journaling, but it served the purpose of journaling for me. While I am not comfortable going back and reading those journals at this point in my life, I remember the ideas and tone of the content. Depression had entered my life. I was struggling. Everything I wrote was an acknowledgement of that struggle. The pain ran deep. At that time, I only saw darkness and my poems reflected that. Death was a frequent theme. It was a painful time and my journals, those red spiral notebooks, carried that pain. 

If the girl I was then could see the woman I am today, she would have difficulty recognizing me. Yes, depression is still a part of my life, but my world is much less dark overall. Sure, there are moments the girl I was then would recognize, but I have learned to cope with the depression.

As I moved on from my teenage years, I continued writing. At some points I found myself journaling more than others. I remember all those years and all those journals. There were so many words written about living with depression and anxiety. My journals were a place of escape, a place to find a haven for my thoughts. The younger me who wrote those words would not believe that I now write about more than my pain. My writing about depression has turned into a healing practice. 

This is not to say that I do not still feel the pain and darkness of depression. I do, but I have learned to use my writing as more than just an escape. My younger self likely would not understand because writing, journaling, was her escape. I have found that writing is healing. Perhaps, in a way, it was then, too. I just did not know it 

 Now, when I journal, I explore what I am experiencing. I go beyond the darkness of depression. I ask depression questions. Sometimes the answers find their way into other writings like this blog and my books. I have learned that by sharing my writing I am not only helping myself, but I can help others. 

I journal every day. It is a part of my healing toolbox. Maybe I should I write a letter to my teenage self. I could comfort her in a way I was not comforted then. I think earlier versions of myself would be amazed at the way journaling and writing in general, have carried me through difficult times. She would never have thought the words she scribbled in the many journals would have allowed me to evolve into the woman I am today. I have lived with depression. I have written about my depression on what may be near thousands of pages. That is hard for even present day me to believe. 

Journaling is powerful. I have written about journaling on this blog in the past (The Practice of Journaling). I share pieces of my journal with my mental health team in different ways. The poems I have written in my journals have made their way into all five of the books I have written. I have had conversations with others about depression and mental illness in general. This has happened because I picked up a pen almost 40 years ago and began journaling. 

As we journal, we transform along with our words. I have transformed. The younger me, from my teenage years to even a few years ago, would not recognize me today. I am aware of her. I know that I am the me I am today, because my younger self fought through the pain of depression, chronicled that pain on the pages of my journals, and created a practice that provided a safe space to process my struggle. For that I am grateful. 

A Letter to My Depressed Self

Dear Depressed Self

                  I am writing to you from a moment where all is not dark. I know you will find it difficult to believe that is possible, but it is. You will experience times when the darkness lifts. I know you spend a lot of time feeling as if everything is shrouded in darkness. You often feel life is not worth living. It is difficult to engage in life and you do not want to even get out of bed. That is depression. It is a part of you, but it does not define you.

Depression has been a constant companion for so much of your life. You will get better. I promise you this. Do you remember when the depression was so constant that ending your life was a common thought? You have overcome that even though those thoughts still creep into your mind. I know the depression still wanders in and grips you. Fortunately, you have excellent mental health care. You have a team determined to help you. I know you are aware of how important this team is in your life. 

On the days when the depression has released its grip on you, you are able to see that life is valuable and worth living. You realize how often depression has lied to you over the past four decades. It is really hard to understand how much depression has darkened your view of life, but deep down you know that you are not your depression.

The important thing is that you are making progress. You are winning the battle with depression. Even on the days when it does not seem that depression will ever leave you alone, there is hope. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone on your team. Other times you need esketamine treatment. Whatever it is, you have support to carry you through the darkness. Don’t get discouraged. You have this amazing support system. You need only reach out and they are there. 

I want you to remember that what you feel is real and not real at the same time. It is real in the sense that you are feeling it. Depression is not in your imagination. It is as painful as you experience. But it is not real in the sense that it lies to you. When it tells you that life is not worth living or that life won’t improve, it is lying. Depression feeds off its lies. At times you feel hopeless. I get it. That feeling will return at times. It is a part of the illness that is depression. 

Depression does get better. Sure, there will be ups and downs. Remember, you have an illness. You require treatment, which you thankfully have access to. You are strong. You have overcome so much. Depression has been hard on you, but you have fought back. I am proud of you for all your efforts. I know there will be times when the depression seems in control. There will be times when you need to step back and rely on your mental health team. That is okay. Keep fighting. Focus on the positives and remember that depression is not in control. Talk back to it. Trust that you will heal. 

Sincerely,

Your Healing Self

 

Note to Readers:

While I wrote this letter to myself, if you are living with depression, this letter is to you as well.  We share the diagnosis of depression. We have had similar experiences. Although, each of our experiences are also unique. My intent in sharing this letter is to remind all of us that we can fight depression. We can live meaningful lives with this illness. Sometimes we just need reminders that it gets better.  If you need help, please reach out to a mental health provider, a primary care provider, or 988.