At times depression or other mental illnesses can be overwhelming. It may seem like we are failing at everything. We may not feel like we are accomplishing much. That feeling leads to more intense depression. It is a cycle that we sometimes get trapped in when we are struggling with our depression. How can we break out of this cycle? One way is to focus on small wins. A small win is a simple, achievable action. It requires energy. The amount of energy may seem small, but when you are struggling even a small amount of energy can be difficult to expend. So, making the effort is something to be applauded.
Let’s look at how we can focus on small wins and learn to give ourselves credit for these wins. In my experience, when we live with depression, it is difficult but necessary to shift our perspective into an acceptance and appreciation for small wins. An important thing to remember is that a small win moves us forward, no matter how small that win may seem. We should not pay attention to how big or important the win looks to the outside world. Small wins are defined by the fact that they required energy and intention. We define these wins, not others.
Small wins help us break through low motivation. With depression we often struggle with motivation. It can be difficult to do anything when we are depressed. So, a small win might be just doing something simple. A few examples might be sitting up when all you want to do is lie in bed and escape reality, taking a shower, stepping outside, washing one dish, or walking to the end of the driveway. Small wins often support our basic needs. It could be as simple as eating a few bites of food when we do not feel up to eating. Often, taking care of basic needs are small wins when we are trapped in the darkness of depression.
Small wins can also interrupt negative thought patterns. If our thoughts are telling us that we cannot do anything or that we want to give up, doing just one small thing can be a win. Negative thought patterns can be debilitating. They can prevent us from doing things. If we can interrupt these thought patterns with little achievements, we can start to realize that we have power over the thoughts. In doing this we can make strides towards breaking out of the depression. These strides keep us going. Even a small step forward, is just that, a step forward.
Another way small wins help us is they build momentum when our motivation is low. It is difficult to be motivated to do things, even what seem like simple things, when we are depressed. Small wins give us evidence that we can be productive. They show us that even if we are struggling with motivation, we can take positive steps forward. Each time we achieve a small win, we are giving ourselves proof that we our depression does not need to have total control.
When we live with depression our brains often become stuck in a negative loop. We see everything as a failure or a sign of our worthlessness. Focusing on small wins helps retrains our brains to notice our efforts. We learn that it is the effort that counts. Sometimes all we can muster is doing something small, but the effort that requires is huge. Small wins allow us to see effort as an achievement.
One way to focus on small wins is to create a “What Have I Done List” instead of a “To Do List.” I get caught up in “To Do Lists”, but I know it often derails me as I find myself thinking about all I need to do. As I complete tasks on my list, I always add a checkmark to the task. It is a way of giving myself credit for what I have accomplished. I think I need to move away from the “To Do Lists”, though. If I made “What Have I Done” lists, I could see my small wins and those wins would build up. So, starting now, I am challenging myself to focus on what I have done instead of allowing myself to get overwhelmed by all that I need to do. Will you join me in this challenge?
Part of creating a “What Have I Done” list and focusing on small wins involves changing our inner narrative. This is important whether we create a list or are just focusing on small wins. Often with depression we do not give ourselves credit for what we have done. Depression might say that something small does not count. It might tell us that we did not do enough. We need to shift our inner narrative. Things we can say include, “That took effort,” “It may seem small, but I put in effort to do it,” or “This is where I am at the moment.” Notice that these are not sappy, positive statements. Rather, they are simply statements of fact. Stating simple facts is one way to talk back to depression and give ourselves recognition for our effort.
Doing things in parts is another way to focus on small wins. Instead of focusing on something like cleaning the kitchen, we can tell ourselves that we are going to do a small part of that task. Maybe it is washing one plate. That is progress. One plate can lead to another when we are ready. Washing one item at a time will eventually result in the whole task being complete. If we want to walk for 20 minutes but feel overwhelmed by thought of committing to that long, we might step outside for three minutes. That is a small win. Maybe the next time we try for five minutes. Slowly, we will build up to those 20 minutes. However, if we do not, that is okay, too. The three or five minutes we step outside are still wins.
A small win is something that might be difficult for us, but we do it anyway. When we live with depression, focusing on the small wins is a large part of our healing. We cannot always do everything we think needs to be done. Depression is a heavy load. Just doing the little things can be difficult. So, we need to give ourselves grace. (See my recent post: Living with Depression: Learning to Give Myself Grace (A Personal Journey) for more on giving ourselves grace.) Even though the small wins may not seem like much, they add up. These small wins can lay the foundation for healing.
In this post I used the term small wins, but I would like to point out that these small wins are really major accomplishments. It is important to frame our positive steps forward as wins. This allows us to see the progress we are making and ease feelings of overwhelm. Often, depression masks that progress. Focusing on the small wins allows us to build up a supply of positives that say, “Hey, I am accomplishing things.” So, let’s try to focus on the small wins.
No comments:
Post a Comment