Every Step Counts

 

“Be proud of every step you take towards stability, no matter how big or small” 

– Jessica Ann Hardy

 

 

                  I selected this quote to reflect on today because while it is something I believe; I struggle with it at times. We are all on a path toward healing of some kind. For some that journey is short. There are others who have a long and at times arduous journey toward healing. I am on the long journey. Many of us who live with mental illness are on a long journey. 

                  Each day I take steps towards healing. The steps may be a result of professional help like a visit with a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. The impetus of the steps may be medication. A non-traditional treatment like TMS or esketamine may drive the steps. The steps are often the result of the sheer will of the person living with mental illness. I have experienced all of these. These steps allow me to move toward healing. 

                  Sometimes my steps are small. I seem to barely make progress at times. A small step forward is still progress. I need to remind myself that it is okay to take small steps. There are many times when I need reminders. My mental health team and members of my support system will remind me to pause and notice my forward movement. They often see the steps as being bigger than I see them. Their perspective helps me understand that I am moving forward. 

                  Maybe I am like the tortoise in the story about the hare and the tortoise. My steps may be slow and small compared to others who seem to be running the race of life in a swift fashion, but I am continuously moving and I can reach my goal. Perhaps many of us with mental illness are like the tortoise.

                  Even when my steps slip and go backwards, I need to remember that small steps forward are important. Living with any struggle can be difficult. Over the last few years, I have had many steps backward and steps forward that were so small they seemed imperceivable. The important thing is I haven’t given up. I am still trying to move forward. Right now, I am not floundering in the depths of depression, which allows me to take some steps that are a little bigger. It feels good to be able to move toward healing.

 I need to remind myself that I can be proud of my progress, proud of every step I take. It is okay to be proud of the little steps. When a baby is first learning to walk, parents and caregivers praise every step. They smile and clap when the baby stands and takes one step. If on the next attempt the baby takes a second step, there are more smiles and claps. We need that type of support and cheering throughout our lives. We should be encouraging each other. We also should encourage ourselves. It is not easy, but we need to give ourselves a gentle smile. We need to whisper, “Way to go!” This support will allow us to take more steps forward. 

Some people seem to zoom through life. Others move forward slowly. I know I move slowly towards healing. It has been a lifetime of steps. Some of those steps moved me forward. Others took me backwards. Those backwards steps are a part of life. We cannot give up when we step backwards. I need to remind myself of that often. What is important is not giving up and attempting to step forward. Even if those forward steps are just inching forward, the steps are moving us. It is better to inch forward than to give up. Life is a series of steps. The way to a healthy life is to keep those steps moving forward even if the steps are only inching us forward. 

                                   This is Torty, my aunt's tortoise.