Have you ever had an experience where everything felt good even for a brief moment? I am not talking about something big. I am talking about the little things - the taste of great cup of coffee, the feel of the ocean breeze, the compliment from a colleague, an unexpected thank you. These are the moments when things unexpectedly go our way. They are the moments we could miss if we are not paying attention. Take a second to think about the times you have experienced one of these moments. It may seem hard, but we all experience these moments.
There are rare moments in our lives when we experience things feeling right. Actually, they may not be as rare as they seem. Two questions come to mind: how do we spot these moments? and how do we look back and spot the moments that have already occurred? Both are important. From a mental health perspective, it is important to embrace the moments when things feel right. These moments are the moments that give us hope. Those of us living with mental illness know that hope can be illusive. So, if we can start with the little moments, we can build toward embracing hope and living with joy.
I am not naïve enough to believe that noticing the little positives is going to make our mental illnesses disappear. It is not going to take away all the pain we live with. It will, however, allow us to learn to experience joy when it appears.
How Do We Spot the Little Joys in Our Lives
There are different ways we can spot the little joys in our lives. These may not be easy, but nothing is easy when you live with mental illness. So, give these a try. Pick one or two as a starting point. See where it takes you.
· Lower the bar for what counts as joy – Joy isn’t always happiness, excitement, or gratitude. It can be little things. Consider the following as joy:
o Your pet cuddling up against your leg
o Your favorite song being played on the radio
o A good cup of coffee
o Finishing a task
o Sunlight coming through your window
· Pay attention to what interests you – Sometimes joy can come from curiosity. Ask yourself questions as you go about your day. It can be hard to be positive all the time, but maybe we can still be curious. We might ask:
o What do I find comforting?
o What was interesting about the show I just watched?
o What color combinations in nature interest me?
o What places make me feel comfortable?
· Allow yourself time to take in good moments – It can take time to realize that something makes us happy or brings us joy. What we can do is give things an extra bit of time to evolve. This can involve:
o Noticing the sensations we are experiencing. I mean really noticing them.Don’t leta sensation just pass. As you are experiencing the sensation, allow yourself to really experience it. Maybe ask yourself what you are experiencing. If we speak it (even in your mind), it becomes more real and it becomes a part of your memory.
· Keep evidence – Take notes on the experiences that bring you joy, even if it is
something small. Our phones can be a great tool for this. Keep a list on your phone of the little things that allow you to feel a bit of joy. It does not need to be long. It could just be something like “saw a beautiful sunset”, “my coffee had more flavor today”, “friend texted me”, or “finished a work task.” The purpose is to keep evidence that the little joys did occur. It is evidence that it can happen. Sometimes when we are struggling, going back and seeing the evidence can be helpful.
· Notice when you feel relief – Noticing is a skill that is important to develop. Sometimes things slip by us. We do not notice when we feel better or when something has improved. What if we tried to notice relief. Relief can be a joy. We can recognize that the absence of suffering is a good thing. We can recognize:
o A backache that eases
o Sitting on a sofa quietly after a rough day
o Something we worried about not happening
· Do not force yourself to be grateful – We do not need to be filled with gratitude all the time. Sometimes we just need to notice what is around us and let that be enough. Not everything in our lives is a positive or worthy of remembering. Gratitude is important, but we do not need to force it upon ourselves.
What Do We Do with the Little Joys
As I mentioned, keeping evidence of the little joys is important. We can use our lists to remind us that good things do happen when we are struggling. Right now, I am at a point where I am working on noticing the little things. Yesterday I noticed that the barista put a squeeze more caramel in caramel cold brew. Sometimes I notice colors in nature. That is a little thing that is really big for me because color means a lot to me. Other times a favorite song plays on the radio.
What have I done with these little things? With my caramel cold brew, I sipped a little slower. I gazed at the mountain where the colors stood out to me. I stayed in my car to listen to a favorite song. These are little things, but in the moment, they make me feel better. The feeling may only last for a bit, but while it lasts, it feels good.
I searched online but did not really find much on how to embrace these little moments, at least not from the perspective I was searching for. So, I have shared what I do with a few little things. I am by no means an expert. I am just a person with lived mental illness experience who is trying to use my experience to help others. If you have read this far, I hope you found something here that helps.
Here is to embracing the little, good things in our lives. Take a moment now and allow yourself to find one thing. If you are up to it, share what you find in the comments.
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