Fictional Comfort
Fictional characters on a television screen comfort me.
Bring me laughter at the end of a tough day.
I find pleasure in their antics.
Safety in watching a television show I have seen many times.
The characters become my friends,
Filling a real-life void.
These characters do not see my darkness.
They just accept me for who I am.
For thirty-minute blocks I am a part of their world
And they mine.
I find companionship as I watch.
I know every scene, can recite the dialogue.
Still, I watch.
I am safe here in front of my television screen.
I laugh with these characters,
Smile as I feel a part of their friendship.
This is my nightly routine.
Engaged with fictional characters on a television screen
I do not feel quite so alone.
My fictional friends comfort me.
I share the above poem to show how a when we live with depression and/or anxiety, sometimes we need the familiarity of what we know. This can be especially true with television or movies. I know there has been some research into that, but I will start by sharing my experience and attempt to weave in what experts say.
I find that I watch the same show repeatedly. When I am watching it, I feel a sense of being in a safe space. For me the show that brings me this sense of familiarity and safety is The Big Bang Theory. I have watched every episode many times, probably more than even I would guess. When I am feeling depressed or anxious, I know I can turn this show on and feel some comfort.
As I watch The Bang Theory I feel less alone. Often, because of my illnesses and situation in life I feel alone. There is rarely anyone else around. So, the characters on the show I have watched over and over, have become like my friends. I feel close to them. I feel like I know them and can let them into my home and my life. Of course, we do not have any literal interactions, but there is a feeling of connectedness. Like the poem says, these fictional characters have become my friends. Unlike the actual people in my life, my “friends” on The Big bang Theory do not see the darkness that is the depression and anxiety I live with. They have never experienced me canceling plans because I just couldn’t do it. They have never witnessed me withdraw into myself because my mind was telling me life was not worth living. The characters do not know I am there, but I see and hear them.
I guess it seems strange to say these characters are my “friends.” When I say this, I really mean I feel the ease of a friendship when The Big Bang Theory is on my television screen. Most of the time, now, I do not pay attention. I might be writing, doing some type of art, scrolling on my phone, or just sitting there. Still, there is comfort in having it on. I hear them talking. I can look up and know exactly what is going on because I have seen every episode so many times. Being able to do that eases my anxiety. The predictability allows my mind to rest. It does not need to think about what might happen next or what a character might do.
As you might guess, I do not watch much else on television. Occasionally, I can get myself to watch a different show. It usually needs to be a 30-minute show. Sometimes I can watch the Food Network for a short time. I usually stick to Guy Fieri’s shows when I do. I am not sure why. There must be a sense of familiarity there. Even with women’s basketball, which I love, I find myself struggling to watch games if the depression or anxiety are impacting me strongly.
You might be able to guess that I do not do well with movies. In fact, I will only go to a movie with my friend, Carol, who I have known for 28 years. If I am interested in the movie I can get through it with smaller amounts of anxiety. If it is something I might not have thought to see, but she really wanted to see, my anxiety my get a little higher during the movie. I can handle it because I am with my friend and there is comfort and familiarity in that. I also find comfort and a bit of joy in knowing my friend is happy.
So, we have looked at needing familiarity when watching television shows as a person living with depression and anxiety from my prospective. What do others say? Is my experience something strange or do other people share in my experience?
A 2023 article on Health Watch Essex notes that anxious people deal with more cognitively. It mentions how when our brains reach capacity, they cannot take more cognitive information. Watching a television show that we have watched repeatedly does not add to our cognitive load. We get a good feeling from the familiarity of the show, but our brains get a break.
A Psychology Today article from 2022 written by Robert N. Kraft, PhD discusses watching the same shows over and over. He discusses what is called The Mister Rogers Effect. When we know what is going to happen, we feel a sense of order and safety. Research indicates that this is even more true when a person feels they have less control in their lives. The Mister Rogers Effect gets its name from the familiar routine that Mr. Rogers went through at the start of every show. It is thought that this brought comfort and stability to the children in his audience. Much the same way rewatching a familiar television show may do the same thing for people with depression and anxiety.
Kraft discusses what he calls parasocial relationships. These are one-sided relationships in which the one person (the character) does not know about the relationship. This character fulfills a social need. Being in a parasocial relationship with a television character allows a person to be in “reliable” relationships with “friends” who do what we expect them to do.
As I reflect on the information I just shared, I realize that what I am doing with The Big Bang Theoryreally is not that uncommon. Or if it is uncommon, it is still has an explanation, and is fulfilling a need for me. I need to be able to think less because depression and anxiety take up a lot of space in my mind. I need “friends” I can rely on to do what I expect. I also need an escape even if it is into a world I have seen many times. Fictional characters (I think the same may be true for characters in a beloved novel or other piece of literature.) can provide us with comfort, familiarity, and a sense of safety. My need for this keeps me from being up to date on the latest binge-worthy show. That is okay. I am comfortable with my “friends’ from The Big Bang Theory. As someone living with depression and anxiety, it is important that I am comfortable. So, if you have a show that you return to often, know that you are not alone.
Just a thought, the same reasoning as I have shared may also be why we have go-to songs in our lives. How many of us have a playlist that we listen to often? Maybe this is an idea for a future post.
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