Depression Has Terrible Customer Service: Learning to Stand Up to Depression

                One of the many things depression is not good at is customer service. Yes, customer service. I have a deeply personal relationship with depression and there are times when I need to ask it for something. Notice I did not say my depression. I am learning that since depression is an illness, it is not a part of who I am. So, I refer to it as its own entity. This entity is not very cooperative and can be downright rude at times. 

                  Here is an example. When I am working, I need depression to take a backseat to thoughts about work. There are times when depression says, “Nope, I am going to keep reminding you that I am here.” See what I mean? Terrible customer service. Can’t depression help me out a bit and keep the negative, self-defeating comments quiet while I am at work. Instead, depression whispers in my head. In these moments I do not think I am asking for too much. Can’t depression just take a break during my work hours? I do not need to hear how I cannot do things or how my life is not worth living when I am trying to earn my paycheck. Every morning, I ask depression to be kind and stay silent during my work hours. Sometimes I can hear depression’s sarcastic cackle in response to my simple request. It is just terrible customer service.

                  Another example is when I am trying to talk to one of my mental health providers and depression decides to put my mind in brain fog. It is so annoying. I will know that there are things I need to discuss with them, things I need support with, and damn depression, decides to play games with my ability to remember and get out what I need to say. Can you see how that is bad customer service? It hampers my ability to get the support I need to overcome depression. Exactly what depression wants. Its poor customer service resides in its desire to remain a part of my life. 

                  If depression had good customer service, I would not have as many setbacks as I do. I might even be able to say depression is not constantly haunting me. I often wonder why depression feeds off making me feel numb, hopeless, angry, down, negative, and at times suicidal. These are all so negative. Good customer service would lead to me feeling better most of the time. That is not depression’s goal. It wants to tear me down. So, I need to be that annoying customer who goes to customer service and raises hell. I need to give depression what it gives me. Not an easy task, but I have been working on it for years. Maybe I should reframe this as being persistent. Depression is that rude sales manager, who thinks they do not need your business. In reality, I do a fairly good job of standing up to depression. It is just in those moments when depression’s whispers grow louder, that it is difficult to put up with all the poor customer service. 

                  My treatments, therapy, medication, TMS, and esketamine, can be thought of as customer service trainings for depression. They teach it to treat me with more respect. They remind it that I am human and that there are limits to the pain I can handle. They teach depression to be a companion on life’s journey instead of a rude customer service manager. So, I continue to battle depression. Some days I win. Other days poor customer service wins out, but there is always a complaint form and a new day. 

                  This post was intended to be humorous. However, living with depression is not a joke. It is difficult. My hope in writing this post is to allow humor to infuse hope into battles with depression. If we can see depression as a separate entity, like a poor customer service manager, we can stand up to it. We can live better lives.