Recently, I saw a psychiatrist share on Instagram that another psychiatrist had died by suicide. What disturbed me most was not only the news of her death, but the cruel and derogatory comments people left underneath the post. These were not people who knew the psychiatrist. They were people making jokes about a psychiatrist dying by suicide. They were insensitive and their comments demonstrate how stigma is alive in our society. I am both shocked and angered by the comments. I would like to share my thoughts on this matter.
Suicide Is Not a Sign of Weakness
First, I want to say that when a person dies by suicide it is not a choice to give up. Suicide is a symptom of mental illness. It is a result of a combination of factors including overwhelming emotional pain, mental health difficulties, trauma, isolation, or crisis. As someone who has lived with suicidal thoughts and ideation, I can share that it is extremely difficult. The pain is overwhelming. Sometimes it becomes too much.
Mental Health Professionals Can Experience Suicidal Thoughts Too
I want to point out that no one is immune to suicidal thoughts or ideation. These can affect anyone, including mental health professionals. They are human and just as anyone can experience suicidal thoughts and ideation, so can a mental health professional. It is not a sign of weakness for a mental health professional to experience these. It is not something to make jokes about. The people who made derogatory comments and jokes about the psychiatrist who died are insensitive and ignorant. A mental health professional is not immune to the same struggles faced by the patient’s they provide with care.
Who Takes Care of the People Who Care for Us?
My third point was shared by the original poster. Mental health professionals hold a lot of the pain that their patients carry. They listen. They work with patients to cope through painful thoughts and experiences. It seems natural that carrying this weight can be difficult. This weight can get heavy. Who helps them carry this load? How do mental health providers release the pain they carry for their patients? These are important questions. As a patient I cannot answer these questions. I can research some information and share it, but that will come in an upcoming post. Right now, I want to focus on something that we can do as patients. I am hoping that my readers who have a mental health provider or team will learn from what I share here.
The Emotional Burden of Caring for Patients
When I read about the comments that were made, I immediately thought about my mental health team. I realized how much of my struggles they have listened to. They have listened to the hard things I carry because of my mental illness. Each of them has been there in moments when I did not think I could continue. They have heard my suicidal thoughts. They have all done this with so much care. They have been my strength when I felt that I did not have the strength to continue. My mental health team has been there when I did not know what to do, when I was at my weakest.
How do they listen to all of that? And I am just one of many patients. I am realizing just how much a mental health provider must carry. That must be difficult at times. I wonder if I do enough to show my appreciation to my providers. I always try to show my gratitude. I am conscious of my gratitude for them, but is it enough? Mental health providers – psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, psychiatric physician’s assistants, therapists, and counselors – carry their patients’ struggles and emotions. They deserve appreciation. Just as importantly, they also deserve an outlet to share their reactions or feelings to what they carry. As I said earlier, I can research how they can find that outlet and share ways in a later post. I think I will dedicate an upcoming post to how mental health providers take care of themselves.
The Harmful Impact of Suicide Stigma
Right now, I want to make sure that everyone reading realizes the importance of being grateful for our mental health providers. I also want to make sure that we all understand the ignorance and cruelty of the posts I mentioned earlier. No one who dies by suicide should be ridiculed. The psychiatrist who died was carrying things that none of us know about. They were in pain that no one else can really know. For commenters to make jokes about their death is disgusting. We should not have to bring this up today. There is so much information out there about mental health. We should not have this ignorance. Sadly, stigma exists and where stigma exists, ignorance and cruelty thrive.
A Personal Thank You to My Mental Health Providers
I know my mental health providers read this blog. So, I am going to be selfish for a second and address them:
Dr. K, Dr. S, S, and B – Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for carrying everything I share with you. I appreciate all the ways you support and carry me. I am grateful that you are always there for me. I know you have been there in my darkest moments, in the moments when I did not know if I could hold on. For that I am forever grateful. I hope that I can always share my appreciation. I also hope that you have the resources to acknowledge that you carry my load and the load of all your patients. Thank you is not enough.
How Patients Can Show Appreciation for Their Mental Health Providers
I encourage everyone who works with a mental health provider to find a way to say thank you. IT can be as simple as saying, “Thank you” or “I appreciate you.” It may seem like something simple, but it is so important. Let’s make sure that there is not another psychiatrist or other mental health provider who is mocked the way the psychiatrist I mentioned was.
If you or someone you know are experiencing suicidal thoughts or ideation, you can reach out to the suicide crisis line at
thank you so much, Gina!
ReplyDeleteYou’re welcome.
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